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Post by alexa11 on Apr 21, 2019 19:45:51 GMT
A guy messaged me on Match a few months ago and we agreed on a place and time to meet. This was during the last hurricane and he works for the power company. Anyway he ended up canceling the morning of because he said he was called into work and wanted to reschedule- never heard from him again. Ok- that's the way this works- no biggie.
Got a text from him last week out of the blue and after a little chit chat- he asked me if I ever contacted him about rescheduling our date. I even sent him a pic to make sure he remembered who I was and didn't have me mixed up with someone else. I'm thinking why would I do it- you had the change of plans. But I was nice and he wanted to go out again and we made plans for last Friday to go to dinner. We texted back and forth most of the week. Asked me if I was going to the gym Friday and since he was off he met me there. We had a nice conversation- he seemed interested. So, on the way to dinner I get a text telling me that he's there and I told him I was about 5 minutes away. Got there, parked, and was walking down street to restaurant and he calls and says he's been called into work. We had terrible winds and storms all day Friday so I thought ok this may be legit. He met me in front of restaurant and again asked if we could reschedule. Have not heard a word. I sent a text yesterday afternoon asking how his day had been- nothing. Why would you go to all of the trouble to make reservations, actually go park downtown, and go to restaurant if you didn't want to go through with the date? If he didn't like me when he saw me in the gym why not just wait a couple of hours and then make up the being called into work story?
Yes- I know it's Easter but this guy has no family here, so I'm not buying that he may have no had time to text story if that's what you're thinking.
I just don't get guys these days...
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 21, 2019 19:50:18 GMT
That guy is not for you.
You deserve better.
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Post by mom on Apr 21, 2019 19:51:57 GMT
That guy is not for you. You deserve better.
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Post by rainangel on Apr 21, 2019 19:55:24 GMT
There could be legitimate work reasons for him being called away. But if I was him, and I was interested in you, I would be VERY apologetic about it, and VERY eager to reschedule.
This whole thing seems a bit off, and almost makes me think his wife is the one who keeps calling him.
You definitely deserve better. If he contacts you again, I would ask for a genuine reason why he is acting this way, because he is giving you mixed signals.
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Post by scrappyem on Apr 21, 2019 19:56:04 GMT
Online dating and the lack of manners that seems to go with it sucks. It bugs me to no end. Another vote to cut him loose and move-on. You do deserve better. Even if his reasons are legitimate, he clearly isn't making dating a priority (or you for that matter).
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 4, 2024 9:10:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2019 20:04:00 GMT
I get cancelling at the last minute due to work emergencies, but the fact that he took so long to reach out after the first time would bother me. To cancel a second time is suspicious but I'd be willing to let that go; however, lack of communication again would bother me. It's like he doesn't value your time and that the world revolves around him. Sorry,but not someone I'd want to invest a lot of effort on.
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Post by Zee on Apr 21, 2019 20:17:54 GMT
I don't trust this man. Move on.
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Post by mom on Apr 21, 2019 20:26:22 GMT
There could be legitimate work reasons for him being called away. But if I was him, and I was interested in you, I would be VERY apologetic about it, and VERY eager to reschedule. This whole thing seems a bit off, and almost makes me think his wife is the one who keeps calling him.
You definitely deserve better. If he contacts you again, I would ask for a genuine reason why he is acting this way, because he is giving you mixed signals. I agree. I think there is something else going on here than just work.
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Post by idahopea on Apr 21, 2019 21:07:35 GMT
If there was a big storm with power outages maybe he really is away at work somewhere. Don't they work long hours in those circumstances, like firefighters? I would think you could Google recent power outages if you know what area he works in to see. I don't know what to say about the amount of time between first date getting canceled and this time though.
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Post by mom on Apr 21, 2019 21:22:57 GMT
If there was a big storm with power outages maybe he really is away at work somewhere. Don't they work long hours in those circumstances, like firefighters? I would think you could Google recent power outages if you know what area he works in to see. I don't know what to say about the amount of time between first date getting canceled and this time though. He canceled a date a few months ago and then never rescheduled or contacted her again. To me, thats suspicious. if he were that interested in her (and available) he would have rescheduled right away. Not waited a few months to even bother texting her again.
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Post by disneypal on Apr 21, 2019 21:24:29 GMT
Hmmm - tough call...it is possible he did get called into work last minute and still could be busy. Also, even if he doesn't have family in town, he may have already had plans to get together with friends today and have just been busy.
The way I look at it, you were the last one to text, the ball is in his court. I may give him another chance but if if he cancelled again (work or not) then maybe it is best to move along.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,350
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Apr 21, 2019 21:28:05 GMT
Not worth the time and energy. Keep looking for the prince.
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zookeeper
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,909
Aug 28, 2014 2:37:56 GMT
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Post by zookeeper on Apr 21, 2019 21:30:42 GMT
Hard pass.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Apr 21, 2019 21:34:56 GMT
When I first moved to Los Angeles I made a very flaky friend. She was funny and lovely, but could never be counted on to show up on time or not to cancel. At some point she met a guy and made plans with him. Then she cancelled. Made plans again and cancelled again. And again. Then she tried to make plans for a fourth time. He told her no, that if they had not managed to get together in three tries it was not meant to be. She was shocked, but I was filled with admiration. He tried, he failed, he moved on.
In your case, I say move on. For whatever reason, he is not able/available to be in your life.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 4, 2024 9:10:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2019 22:42:46 GMT
I am another "move on" The start of a relationship should be the best impression. If he can't be bothered to be in contact after two missed dates he has someone more important to him. You will always come last. It may be his job, it may be a wife or other girlfriend, it may be a fear of dating ... doesn't really matter. He isn't available to be in a relationship like you want.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Apr 21, 2019 22:50:05 GMT
yea, move on. If he really liked you, he'd make it work. Not think about it every 2 months.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 21, 2019 23:03:26 GMT
Move on. My first thought is his wife won't let him out. But, I am a big skeptic!
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lurkyloo
Full Member
Posts: 284
Dec 5, 2018 6:53:08 GMT
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Post by lurkyloo on Apr 21, 2019 23:12:43 GMT
He’s either rude, flaky, lazily forgetful, or indecisive. None of those things sound attractive.
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Post by tampascrapper on Apr 22, 2019 0:33:14 GMT
I don't trust this man. Move on. I agree
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Post by papersilly on Apr 22, 2019 1:11:00 GMT
The " relationship" is exhausting already. I would move on. At this point I would always wonde if he's going to flake on any date. Like I said, exhausting.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 4, 2024 9:10:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2019 2:26:30 GMT
Go with your gut. If it's this difficult just to meet him (no matter if his excuse was legitimate), then the whole scenario sounds too messy already. I'd bail on this one.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 22, 2019 3:47:20 GMT
If there was a big storm with power outages maybe he really is away at work somewhere. Don't they work long hours in those circumstances, like firefighters? I would think you could Google recent power outages if you know what area he works in to see. I don't know what to say about the amount of time between first date getting canceled and this time though. He canceled a date a few months ago and then never rescheduled or contacted her again. To me, thats suspicious. if he were that interested in her (and available) he would have rescheduled right away. Not waited a few months to even bother texting her again. This happened to friend of mine. The guy met another lady and hit it off with her and then when it went south, he wanted to try with my friend. It makes sense.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 22, 2019 3:48:09 GMT
I am on the fence. I have known several people who have had bad beginnings and ended up in great relationships.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,659
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Apr 22, 2019 11:36:17 GMT
I saw this on facebook today and thought of this thread.
If they wanted to be with you, they would. If they wanted to call you they would. If they wanted to talk to you they would. When someone is into you they make time for YOU.
Remember... No matter how good of a person you are, You'll never be good enough for the wrong person.
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Post by Miss Ang on Apr 22, 2019 12:03:48 GMT
Smile and wave goodbye. You're dodging a bullet here!
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588
Jun 25, 2014 22:18:04 GMT
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Post by peabrain on Apr 22, 2019 12:19:52 GMT
Next!
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Post by mustlovecats on Apr 22, 2019 14:11:13 GMT
My take is that getting called into work on no notice is quite plausible. My brother worked for the power company and was constantly called in because he was a climber and they didn’t have enough so he got called in routinely, often it was you need to come in right now to work this outage.
But the not rescheduling means he isn’t interested enough to communicate with you. He should be texting you to say he’s sorry he missed your date and he wants to reschedule. Like, that night or the next day, this is a red flag to me.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,643
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Apr 22, 2019 14:22:30 GMT
He's just not that into you. Block him and move on.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 22, 2019 14:56:54 GMT
He is a red flag!
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Post by gmcwife1 on Apr 22, 2019 16:24:00 GMT
He canceled a date a few months ago and then never rescheduled or contacted her again. To me, thats suspicious. if he were that interested in her (and available) he would have rescheduled right away. Not waited a few months to even bother texting her again. This happened to friend of mine. The guy met another lady and hit it off with her and then when it went south, he wanted to try with my friend. It makes sense. That was my first thought about the first time. I would also walk away.
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