julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Jun 11, 2019 0:48:05 GMT
Oh no. I’m sending you positive thoughts.
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Post by artisticscrapper on Jun 11, 2019 1:43:21 GMT
thats an awful feeling. Please let us know how you’re doing.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,082
Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jun 11, 2019 6:40:10 GMT
bumping for an update
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Jun 11, 2019 12:59:27 GMT
hi peas... the situation is still not resolved. i ended up coming down with a horrible UTI and was in a lot of pain by yesterday morning. i emailed him i wasn't well and already had booked a dr appt for yesterday afternoon anyway. i don't think he was happy and sent a terse email about where something was... the same places it's always been... it the cabinet that is labelled. i spoke to my doctor to get some clarity on the situation. her view is this job isn't healthy for me, with all the other things going on in my life. boss exhibits many traits of my ex and due to work environment (i am the only person in the office specifically), it leaves him free to say what he wants and me to feel very vulnerable. i am taking today off to let antibiotics kick in and will speak to him that i don't think this is meeting either of our expectations. i expect it will be ugly. i have heard him fire people on the phone several times since i have been there (contractors). i am nervous but once i realized i didn't have to go yesterday, the relief was instant. i have skills and experience, i am hardworking and actually quite lovely so i am sure i will find something else soon after i take a couple of days to deal and then decompress from this. i do believe as other p's have pointed out, sometimes in the middle of something, you cannot realize how miserable you TRULY are until you get to step away. thanks for all the kind words and support... you guys are the best. wish me luck tomorrow.
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588
Jun 25, 2014 22:18:04 GMT
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Post by peabrain on Jun 11, 2019 13:16:53 GMT
Wish you the best and sorry about the uti. Hope you're feeling better and things start looking up for you. hugs.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 11, 2019 13:17:07 GMT
Good luck today. YAY for you for quitting. The guy sounds like a toxic jerk.
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Post by tyra on Jun 11, 2019 13:20:46 GMT
Aw man, I am so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well! And I agree 100%... you have no idea how bad things are until you see it with a bit of distance. This will be your blessing in disguise! I am sure of it I was at my last employer for 9 years. For 5 years I was happy. For 3 years it was ok. The last year sucked. Left on maternity leave, came back and it was HORRIBLE. I HATED it there. They changed my position while I was on maternity leave, making the same but my job was completely different. I would drive home crying more often than not. 3 months later I found a new job. It wasn't until I was at a company that is fantastic, where I was valued, challenged, appreciated, respected, listened to, etc, that I felt my own personal value go up, and I was able to see how truly bad the old employer was.
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Post by disneypal on Jun 11, 2019 13:30:14 GMT
Sending you some pea-love and positive vibes
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Post by lucyg on Jun 11, 2019 16:14:04 GMT
Sending you some pea-love and positive vibes What she said. Feel better and then go get ‘em!
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 11, 2019 17:19:15 GMT
The only time I was let go Many years ago, I was so distraught and upset. I cried and stayed in bed for a day. Within days I would wake up and feel lighter each day—the grass WAS greener!
I took off for a bit before going back to a formal workplace to get some things done that I wanted to do.
And many people kept in contact with me and a few friends who worked there would tell me all about how miserable they were. It was so good for me to have been fired because I would not have left anytime soon, because the pay was awesome.
This job now is blocking you from seeing any other possibilities and better fits for you out there.
Never stay with an employer who makes you feel the way you do.
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Post by MrsLeftyFixIt on Jun 11, 2019 18:51:29 GMT
It will relieve a lot of pressure if you just part ways. With this feeling of ‘is he going to fire me’ looming overhead, you will make mistakes by not being able to concentrate.
I wish you all the best.
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Post by Merge on Jun 11, 2019 18:56:56 GMT
Quitting a toxic job is just about the best feeling in the world. I'm sure you will find something better in no time. Feel better soon!
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Post by cindytred on Jun 11, 2019 19:00:17 GMT
Bummer about the UTI. I am so proud of you for taking control of an uncomfortable situation and knowing what is best for YOU!
Cindy
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Post by littlemama on Jun 11, 2019 19:54:35 GMT
If you really think he is going to end your employment, let him do it. That way you will most likely collect unemployment, although I realize that varies by state. In my state, the employer has to have an insane amount of back up to prove that they fired someone for cause and even then, the state usually sides with the employee.
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 11, 2019 20:01:11 GMT
If I were in your shoes, I might have a resignation letter with me for tomorrow. That way if he starts to go off the rails, you can stop him and hand him the letter and say you both agree. The only thing you need to agree on is your last day. If he is civil, you'll train a new person; if not, you can leave today.
Now if you need to collect unemployment, that won't work, but I can see it working to avoid a bad situation if possible.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Jun 11, 2019 20:44:05 GMT
If you really think he is going to end your employment, let him do it. That way you will most likely collect unemployment, although I realize that varies by state. In my state, the employer has to have an insane amount of back up to prove that they fired someone for cause and even then, the state usually sides with the employee. This was my first thought to. If you need the unemployment you won't get it if you quit. I hope he isn't a real jerk to you since you have heard him in the past but if he does know that he is just a miserable person. I hope you are feeling better soon and that you find a great new job where you are challenged and appreciated.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Jun 11, 2019 22:04:19 GMT
:OMG!! that moment when you log in and see THIRTY notifications. ACK!! but all good stuff ladies and THANK YOU! i emailed him today saying i am feeling better this afternoon and i will be tomorrow and asking if i will see him. he said yes... 9am. i am prepared to address the situation. i realize it may be an uncomfortable situation (and i hate conflict, did i mention that???) but i am fully prepared so i have *nothing* to lose. i : : the peas!!!
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 11, 2019 22:37:46 GMT
If you can be unemployed and don't need him as a reference then talk to him openly and if he is an asshole then tell him that you're leaving and that you can stay and train someone or leave now, but it will depend upon his attitude twd you. I would only be that blunt if you can live w/o a job and can leave the job off of your resume. Life's too short to be abused at work!
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Post by compeateropeator on Jun 11, 2019 22:39:02 GMT
Good luck tomorrow. I hope you can lose some of the stress...no matter how it ends. If a departure is what goes down, you will be fine. You will have peace and you will find something else. As you said you have many great qualities.
Take care of your UTI and yourself. Sending you nothing but positive thoughts.
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,447
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on Jun 11, 2019 22:46:42 GMT
If you really think he is going to end your employment, let him do it. That way you will most likely collect unemployment, although I realize that varies by state. In my state, the employer has to have an insane amount of back up to prove that they fired someone for cause and even then, the state usually sides with the employee. In my state, an employer can fire you because he doesn’t like your shirt...
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Post by busy on Jun 11, 2019 22:55:04 GMT
If you really think he is going to end your employment, let him do it. That way you will most likely collect unemployment, although I realize that varies by state. In my state, the employer has to have an insane amount of back up to prove that they fired someone for cause and even then, the state usually sides with the employee. In my state, an employer can fire you because he doesn’t like your shirt... I think she's talking about getting unemployment. They can fire you for most anything in most states, but how readily unemployment is approved varies from state to state.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jun 11, 2019 23:22:38 GMT
good luck
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Post by mom on Jun 12, 2019 0:41:33 GMT
:OMG!! that moment when you log in and see THIRTY notifications. ACK!! but all good stuff ladies and THANK YOU! i emailed him today saying i am feeling better this afternoon and i will be tomorrow and asking if i will see him. he said yes... 9am. i am prepared to address the situation. i realize it may be an uncomfortable situation (and i hate conflict, did i mention that???) but i am fully prepared so i have *nothing* to lose. i : : the peas!!! You can do this! Sure you hate conflict, but you hate your job even more. Keep your head up! You gave this job a great 'try' and it wasn't a good fit. There is something better out there for you!
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Jun 12, 2019 14:01:38 GMT
UPDATE #2 i was fired. i have only been there 4 months so am only entitled to 1 weeks pay on top of what he owes me for last week. i walked in and he called me into the boardroom. i knew. he said he didn't want to nitpick (and proceeded to nitpick) and i said *nothing*. what a strange sensation i was feeling - my heart was in my throat (this is really happening, i am being fired, i have never been fired before) and thank god (i never have to come back here and he will need to pay me in lieu of notice). sadness and elation - AT THE SAME TIME. weird. when i left, i collected my couple of personal items, asked him to have bookkeeper mail me what is owed and my record of employment and turned to his son and told him to take care. then i walked out the door. i guess his son is my replacement for the summer at least. so i am going to take the rest of this week just to focus on coming down from all this anxiety, get my boys ready for the graduations later this month and then start back to job hunting full tilt next week. thanks for all the kind words and support and sharing your experiences. i already feel better and it's only been an hour.
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Post by jubejubes on Jun 12, 2019 14:05:28 GMT
( ( HUGS ) )
I'm glad that you asked for your record of employment and for what else is owed to you, as the laws of Ontario apply to you.
Take care of yourself, the UTI, enjoy graduation and then start looking again.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jun 12, 2019 14:06:08 GMT
Oh wow.. so sorry!!! But sounds like you are in a good place with it. I would do exactly, don't worry about it now, calm down, get the boys ready and back to job hunting!! Good luck!!! (I know exactly how you feel.. there will be lots of ups and down days, I never felt such self esteem issues in my life at that time. I totally thought I was worthless. I was not.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 12, 2019 14:12:34 GMT
I'm sorry he fired you, but it sounds like it was all for the best. Best wishes in finding a new job. Praying that it will be a perfect fit, and you will love it!
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Post by Lexica on Jun 12, 2019 14:19:00 GMT
Well it sounds like it went just as you expected it to. I hope he didn’t yell at you. And really, when someone is set on letting you go, there isn’t anything you need to say in return. And since he let you go, I hope you will qualify for unemployment. I haven’t ever been fired either, so I don’t know how the process works. Take a deep breath, know that your next job won’t be a living hell of stress like this one was. You are so much better off being away from that toxic environment. .
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Post by lucyg on Jun 12, 2019 14:19:05 GMT
You will be happier and feel better in the long run. Meanwhile, try not to let it get you down! Good luck!
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,012
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Jun 12, 2019 14:43:47 GMT
Think of the positives, you had four months of pay, you gained some different experience and you learnt it might be a better fit to work for a bigger company.
I can definitely say the jobs I had with small owner run companies were the worst, their personalities were too big for a small space and then add in their family members ugh.
If you are asked about why you left, say I was asked to leave and the owners son started in the role the same day. Any interviewer worth their salt can join the dots.
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