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Post by eversograceful1 on Jun 10, 2019 2:26:43 GMT
Not alone, obviously. DC, 11 y/o, wants to meet up with an internet friend over the summer. I would be there with her and we would meet in a nearby town, stay at hotel, have our own car, etc. DH really isn't sure about it. So, if you have, how old was your DC and how did it go?
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Post by mrssmith on Jun 10, 2019 2:28:30 GMT
I would want to talk to the other kid's parents first and probably meet as a group.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 10, 2019 2:35:19 GMT
I would want to talk to the other kid's parents first and probably meet as a group.  If I get a good vibe from the other parents and was there with my child the whole time, I'd do it. Are they wanting to do something specific together? |
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Post by eversograceful1 on Jun 10, 2019 2:43:51 GMT
Nothing specific. I would demand to FaceTime with the parent before we go anywhere.
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Post by stampinchick on Jun 10, 2019 3:20:38 GMT
At 11 years old, absolutely not. Then again, I wouldn't be allowing an 11 year old to have enough internet access to be making friends with a stranger. How exactly did they meet on the internet? And would this trip involving the expense of staying in a hotel be specifically so they could meet or do you already have a trip planned for another reason?
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trollie
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Post by trollie on Jun 10, 2019 3:25:52 GMT
If I could talk with the parents via facetime or over the phone, I would do it. The internet is a game changer and many people meet this way now.
eta: I am a very nervous nelly mama. Of course, I would be present at that age.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jun 10, 2019 3:26:30 GMT
I'm sure there was a thread where a Pea did this, but I can't remember the details.
I would be willing to consider it, after speaking the the other parents, and of course if both mothers are there. It could be a really fun girls' trip!
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Peamac
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Post by Peamac on Jun 10, 2019 3:29:48 GMT
DD was 22, just graduated from college when she and DH met her online friend in person. He and DD got married a year and a half ago. Technically, DH met her online friend in person a few months before DD did.
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Country Ham
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Jun 10, 2019 3:53:14 GMT
, I wouldn't be allowing an 11 year old to have enough internet access to be making friends with a stranger. How exactly did they meet on the internet? Mine are 14 and 16 and both play MMORPG (I think I got that right). I play those too. I have met a gal playiing ToonTown before disney shut it down and we have been chatting on skype for over 10 years. We have never met in person. I digress, My children are not "allowed" to tell their real names, ages, or the town we live in while playing these games. My son plays with a headset but is only allowed to voice with his "in real life" friends. He is only allowed to type with internet people. Of course they may have broken all my rules but they have never mentioned any particular friendships formed in their games. That is how it's easy to meet others. Mine craft etc.
ETA: they have message boards etc for young people too just like this. I apply the same rules to myself here as I do for my kids online. Never give my name, my hometown (not even state), etc.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 10, 2019 4:02:46 GMT
, I wouldn't be allowing an 11 year old to have enough internet access to be making friends with a stranger. How exactly did they meet on the internet? Mine are 14 and 16 and both play MMORPG (I think I got that right). I play those too. I have met a gal playiing ToonTown before disney shut it down and we have been chatting on skype for over 10 years. We have never met in person. I digress, My children are not "allowed" to tell their real names, ages, or the town we live in while playing these games. My son plays with a headset but is only allowed to voice with his "in real life" friends. He is only allowed to type with internet people. Of course they may have broken all my rules but they have never mentioned any particular friendships formed in their games. That is how it's easy to meet others. Mine craft etc.
ETA: they have message boards etc for young people too just like this. I apply the same rules to myself here as I do for my kids online. Never give my name, my hometown (not even state), etc.
The same is true for Roblox which is very popular with many of DD’s grade school friends. She plays with a handful of her real life friends but most of the people she plays with are random players online. We’ve stressed repeatedly no real names, no identifying information at all because you never know who is on the other side of the screen. |
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LeaP
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Post by LeaP on Jun 10, 2019 5:16:36 GMT
Yes, I have. It was one of her squishy/slime friend. We met in a mall about an hour north of us. I was there and they walked around for an hour or so.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 10, 2019 8:43:34 GMT
At 11 years old, absolutely not. Then again, I wouldn't be allowing an 11 year old to have enough internet access to be making friends with a stranger. How exactly did they meet on the internet? And would this trip involving the expense of staying in a hotel be specifically so they could meet or do you already have a trip planned for another reason? My thoughts as well. |
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wellway
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Post by wellway on Jun 10, 2019 9:36:08 GMT
I read this article on Roblox, my dd is too old for it, so I wasn't aware of it. There are a couple of points that others might find useful to be aware of, like third parties apps that allow strangers to talk and in the case discussed, groom young children even though the parents thought they had things pretty tied down, just a fyi. www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-48450604 |
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wellway
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Post by wellway on Jun 10, 2019 9:45:12 GMT
I had a chat with dd about how easy it is for someone to zone in on information that would lead to identifying you, what class are you in ? Year seven, so in the UK that means about e.g. 600,000 school kids, we had lots of snow today, check weather forecast, only one area had snow, down to e.g. 20,000 we had a day off because the pipes froze, only two schools were closed, down to 400 kids, say half are boys, down to 200 possible kids. A few more random bits of info and bulls eye, child identified. Too easy and kids don't see that information as relevant, it's not their name, age or location.
Just something to ponder.
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Post by christine58 on Jun 10, 2019 10:22:29 GMT
At 11 years old, absolutely not. Then again, I wouldn't be allowing an 11 year old to have enough internet access to be making friends with a stranger. How exactly did they meet on the internet? And would this trip involving the expense of staying in a hotel be specifically so they could meet or do you already have a trip planned for another reason? THIS!!! |
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Post by littlemama on Jun 10, 2019 10:28:55 GMT
Not alone, obviously. DC, 11 y/o, wants to meet up with an internet friend over the summer. I would be there with her and we would meet in a nearby town, stay at hotel, have our own car, etc. DH really isn't sure about it. So, if you have, how old was your DC and how did it go? If this person already knows what "nearby town" you would be meeting at, then your child has already given up too much information. |
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Post by doxiesx3 on Jun 10, 2019 10:31:20 GMT
Yes actually, a few times! My dd, who is 16, had been talking on the Xbox for 5 years with a boy from PA. We recently travelled about 2 hours from him to go to my brothers wedding. The kids had asked me if CakeforBob (screen name) could meet us and stay at our same hotel. I said sure as I never thought it would happen. But it did, lol. Cake is being raised by his Aunt and since he never asks for anything , she thought this was important to him. We all spent a lot of time together. Cake is a very nice kid, his Aunt was really nice. The kids hit it off, which was expected.
She also attended a dance of an Internet friend, the very first time them met in person. We drove almost 2 hours, took the kids to dinner and dropped them off at the dance. They have seen each other quite a few times since then.
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sweetpeasmom
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Jun 10, 2019 11:39:39 GMT
DD (will be 15 in 2 weeks) has a few online friends that they actually FaceTime often. One lives in Korea and one in Canada (they actually all 3 are friends together). At first I kind of freaked out. But then I started thinking that years ago, pen pals were a thing. People wrote to strangers all over. FaceTime wasn’t a thing. So you never really knew who you were communicating with. Yes, times were different. But when I realized that she had actually seen these kids and they really weren’t 50 yo men, I felt a little better.
If I had a conversation with the parents (FaceTime preferably) and I felt comfortable, then yes I’d go forward with the meeting.
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Post by jjpeapea on Jun 10, 2019 14:22:52 GMT
Yes, long ago my son was 14 and was an RPG group based on characters from a book. It was so long ago they started as dial up! He asked to meet one of the local guys at a church for volleyball. I said yes if I attended too. The guy was known to all the volleyball players and very nice. Sometimes the group gets together live and they are friends to this day.
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Post by pierkiss on Jun 10, 2019 14:26:18 GMT
I haven’t, but a friend of mine has. Her 10 year old is into furries (at an age appropriate level), and had made some friends in an online forum. She wanted to meet up with one particular friend. So my friend contacted this kids mom, and they agreed to set up a meeting time at a furry con. It all went well and the kids were happy to finally meet in person. Everything was heavily supervised.
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Post by buddysmom on Jun 10, 2019 14:50:44 GMT
Yes and it worked out great! Around 2008 my then 14 yr old DD was part of a "fashion forum" for teens. She was obsessed with it (kinda like 2 Peas lol). She met this girl who lived about 200 miles from us but lived about 1/4 mile (basically across the street) from where we used to live (before DD was born).
So we decided to meet up. DD and I drove 4 hours to meet her and her mom at the giant outlet mall near her, then we planned to go to dinner, stay over at a hotel there and drive back the next day.
Her mom met us briefly at the mall, said "I'm not really into shopping" and left. Guess she had a lot of trust in us.
We had a nice time, everything went well.
Both have graduated college and DD's friend how lives close to DD and they still get together. Both are heading to the Pokemon bash in Chicago this weekend.
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iluvpink
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Post by iluvpink on Jun 10, 2019 15:01:51 GMT
My dd has a few times. She's 19 and actually met one of her best friends online. Two of them via some chronic illness groups she belongs to. One on groups for guinea pigs. I Google the heck out of these kids and their families to see what I can find.
The first time she was 16. She and the girl wanted to meet at a mall about an hour away. I checked the girl out online, seemed kosher. We met her and her dad at the mall and dd and this girl went off shopping and having lunch for a few hours. I met up with dd at least once or twice. Then we all left.
The second time she was 17 and this girl lived in Ohio (we're in MI). She wanted to spend the day with this girl at her house. Mom and dad divorced, just mom and the girl and a younger brother. We checked them outline and again it seemed fine. We drove to their house and met the family, got the mom's contact info etc. Everything seemed normal so we left. Dd spent the day at their house, then she and the friend went fishing (dd loves to fish) and walked around their tiny town etc. We picked her up several hours later.
The other girl that is now one of dd's best friends lives about 45 minutes away. Again we checked her out online, dh drove dd to the girl's house, met the mom etc and dd hung out. DD is now 19 and as I said they are good friends and hang out often. She actually introduced dd to dd's now boyfriend.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 10, 2019 15:11:25 GMT
"Chris Hansen. Dateline NBC." At that age my kids weren't allowed to talk to anyone on the internet, except the friends they had at school. Predators are out there and I just don't trust people, especially when it comes to my kids. Stranger abduction can happen in the nicest places. Though we've heard some positive stories on this thread, I always err on the side of caution.
The best parenting book I've ever read was "Protecting the Gift". I think this thread is a good place to mention the book.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jun 10, 2019 15:35:47 GMT
My dd and her best friend play a game (Star Stable, a horse game).. DD best friend had an 'on-line' friend and soon enough the three played together. It was the only online friend she was allowed to talk to. That all ended though because the online friend started causing problems between my DD and her real life friend. Maybe it was not intentional, I don't know.
The BFF's mom and myself basically shut that down the other gal. They were allowed to say goodbye but that was the end. I shut down the online chat as well, because I knew they would probably see each other on the game. I think it was like a year later they saw each other and DD wanted to say Hi. I told her to move along as it was not going to happen. I had to remind DD that it was not worth it to have a 'friend' online causing problems between her very best friend. She finally saw the light.
So yeah, I would probably say no to meeting anyone online at her age (she is 11)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2019 18:38:32 GMT
I have. DS14 and his buddy met up with an online friend who is 15 (they met playing minecraft) - the 3 of them have gone to amusement parks twice together now. DS's buddy's mom was nervous about it, although I happen to know a teacher in the town the online friend is from, so had her give me an opinion of the kid beforehand. I would say I wanted to keep an open mind about the kid they met, but I wasn't crazy about his hygiene and appearance when I met him...and it surprises me that a parent would let their kid out of the house like that  Struck me as odd as he was picked up in a brand new SUV and his little sister plays soccer with the DD of the teacher I know. I am glad they have the gaming in common and I am proud of DS and his buddy for not judging the online friend (I could tell they were surprised at the 1st meeting but were polite and didn't say anything) although it raises some red flags with me. No plan to have them unsupervised anytime soon. Edit: FWIW, in my opinion 11 is too young to meet. I have found the very impressionable age for my kids was about 12-13. As much as I want to encourage them to make new friends, I would be more cautious of what they are getting into online. For example, my DS14 didn't get a phone until he was 13 and he was told very specifically it was due to his immaturity and compulsiveness with the computer (the shared family computer in an open area). Honestly, things changed so fast with social media, it wasn't even something we had to face with our 2 oldest kids - and what the younger 2 can get into in comparison is scary! |
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Post by mustlovecats on Jun 10, 2019 18:41:27 GMT
My 11yo does not have internet friends.
I had internet friends in college on a bulletin board we all used. Had big meetups/picnics, tons of people came. Some of those people were freaks and sometimes bad stuff happened. Good stuff too. But enough bad stuff that this is a hard no for me two or three steps back.
Older teens maybe, younger teens and tweens I think this promotes too much trust in strangers on the internet.
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Post by littlemama on Jun 10, 2019 19:25:45 GMT
"Chris Hansen. Dateline NBC." At that age my kids weren't allowed to talk to anyone on the internet, except the friends they had at school. Predators are out there and I just don't trust people, especially when it comes to my kids. Stranger abduction can happen in the nicest places. Though we've heard some positive stories on this thread, I always err on the side of caution. The best parenting book I've ever read was "Protecting the Gift". I think this thread is a good place to mention the book. Oh, I already have the Investigation Discovery plot laid out in my head. We didnt let ds talk to people he didnt know online either |
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Post by miominmio on Jun 10, 2019 19:31:13 GMT
Not yet, but I have, and it was so much fun. I know my friends let their DD meet an online friend when she was .... 13, I think? But both sets of parents met before they let the girls wander off alone.
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iteach3rdgrade
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Jun 10, 2019 20:06:03 GMT
I might. It really just depends on the situation and they would not meet alone or privately. I wouldn't travel or go out of my way to have them meet. My son reminds me to call him different names when I need his attention- Hey Bobby, Tom, Jimmy etc. He's really paranoid about letting too much information out.
I met dh online about 20 something years ago. We met in a public place and I took a friend.
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If I get a good vibe from the other parents and was there with my child the whole time, I'd do it. 
Struck me as odd as he was picked up in a brand new SUV and his little sister plays soccer with the DD of the teacher I know. I am glad they have the gaming in common and I am proud of DS and his buddy for not judging the online friend (I could tell they were surprised at the 1st meeting but were polite and didn't say anything) although it raises some red flags with me. No plan to have them unsupervised anytime soon.
