inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jul 15, 2019 21:13:11 GMT
What an asshole. You are under no obligation to endure verbal abuse, and I applaud you for leaving.
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Post by elaine on Jul 15, 2019 21:18:24 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice Not that what I think should matter one iota, but you have a great body! I am 56, had 2 kids via c-section, and have had a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction that has been less than successful- the past year my chest has looked like something out of a B-rate Frankenstein movie (hopefully will be better after last surgery, still waiting on results). My husband loves my body, MUCH more than I do, and tells me every chance he has. That is what you deserve. That is much better than any hollow apology he might proffer.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jul 15, 2019 21:20:12 GMT
1. you were right 2. you were right 3. you were right * sorry about your bathing suit ** you look great in it.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 15, 2019 21:35:07 GMT
I don't want to give him another shot, no worries, but I'd just like an apology. In my case, yes, an apology is in order. I commend you on choosing to remove yourself from the situation and leave. I disagree with your fixation on getting an apology from him. Wanting him to apologize signals to him that he still matters. That his opinion matters. And I would strongly encourage you to not give one whit about what this man thinks. Your position is much stronger if you don't care whether you get an apology or not.
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Post by Zee on Jul 15, 2019 21:41:52 GMT
You really didn't need to post a picture of your obviously fit figure for us to know he's an asshole. I'm sure you know you look great.
I don't look half that good but if he's there to hit it, it must not be that bad, and I'd refuse to feel bad about myself due to some stupid comment from an obvious manchild. If someone ever complained about my body that would be the last time he saw it.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Jul 15, 2019 21:43:35 GMT
I agree with Spongemom. You care about what he thinks still, and you shouldn't care. You're worth so much more than that. I'd kill to have a body like yours.
Hun, he wants you to look like you're 18 and in a anorexic porn. No. He's a fucking douche hole. You can do better than that.
Very proud of you for packing up and dumping him. I predict you'll never hear from him again. That would shatter his ego.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 15, 2019 22:15:29 GMT
Ladies, thank you so much. I read everything you wrote carefully and some things really stuck with me. I'll come back later with comments. All answers are unanimous. The only thing that was bothering me was the way I left, which might have looked childish. I don't care what HE thinks, I just don't like it when I act in an immature way. I won't write back, won't ask for anything, including an apology, and will just see how this unfolds from now on and then make a decision if he deserves a reply if he writes to me via text or Messenger. I don't think he will call me or send me an email so no need to block him. I have caller ID anyways.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 15, 2019 22:17:16 GMT
I agree with Spongemom. You care about what he thinks still, and you shouldn't care. You're worth so much more than that. I'd kill to have a body like yours. Hun, he wants you to look like you're 18 and in a anorexic porn. No. He's a fucking douche hole. You can do better than that. Very proud of you for packing up and dumping him. I predict you'll never hear from him again. That would shatter his ego. That's what is weird he likes my curves and from what I saw on his Instagram he likes women with curves. So I guess the belly was his only issue. 😉 Well too bad for him now he won't get to see any of these body parts anymore.
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 15, 2019 22:18:45 GMT
I agree with everyone else. I actually think you were nice to leave him a note. I might have cut the crotch out of all his pants instead. 😂😂😂 OMG that is hilarious 😂😂😂
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Post by Sparki on Jul 15, 2019 22:18:50 GMT
OK ladies you have all been so nice and have given me the confidence required to post a picture of me taken three weeks ago for more validation that he is a world class asshole. I did not put on weight since then. I am 44 years old if that matters. So... Does anyone here see this huge belly worth mentioning twice OK - I'll be 43 in Oct, and I would love to have your body! You look great!
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Post by teach4u on Jul 15, 2019 22:24:54 GMT
Correct me if I'm wrong:
You knew this guy for 26 years, but hadn't seen him for many years. You reconnected 2 years ago and spent about 1 month together and he's insulting how you look in underwear? What are you doing with this guy?
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Post by crafty on Jul 15, 2019 22:35:49 GMT
Ladies, thank you so much. I read everything you wrote carefully and some things really stuck with me. I'll come back later with comments. All answers are unanimous. The only thing that was bothering me was the way I left, which might have looked childish. I don't care what HE thinks, I just don't like it when I act in an immature way. I won't write back, won't ask for anything, including an apology, and will just see how this unfolds from now on and then make a decision if he deserves a reply if he writes to me via text or Messenger. I don't think he will call me or send me an email so no need to block him. I have caller ID anyways. Even if leaving looks “childish” (which isn’t true), what was the alternative? Crawling into bed next to him and looking weak and tolerant of his asshole behavior? If those were the two choices, I’d rather look childish. I think it looks strong and not childish.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,172
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Jul 15, 2019 22:49:35 GMT
He sounds like an asshole. And I commend you for sticking up for yourself and leaving. Ballsy, and I like it!
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tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,414
Jun 27, 2014 2:27:09 GMT
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Post by tanya2 on Jul 15, 2019 22:50:14 GMT
I think you look gorgeous. I wish I looked that good!
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Post by wordfish on Jul 15, 2019 23:23:19 GMT
This is what I think:
HE'S gross.
He actually thinks you are very attractive, too attractive for him, and he wants you to think you don't deserve better because he is insecure.
I don't think anything about what you did was immature. You don't owe him anything. You are in charge of yourself and where you go and what you do. His behavior was unacceptable to you and you no longer wanted to be in his company. It's not like you lit his hair on fire or threw all his clothes off the balcony or cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush. Or put his clothes in the shower and turned it on, then left them sitting there. Or walked out and left the door open. Or took all his money. Or threw his cell phone off the balcony.
Ahhh thanks. I feel better about the situation. It's nice to think of things to do but then not do them, isn't it?
Anyway, you are lovely. You are way out of his league, and he knows it.
It's not out of the realm of possibility that this is how he grooms his women and the ones who fall for it end up going for an unpleasant ride that ends in heartbreak and pain.
Lastly, I think you're great. Good going.
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Post by jenjie on Jul 15, 2019 23:25:53 GMT
Ladies, thank you so much. I read everything you wrote carefully and some things really stuck with me. I'll come back later with comments. All answers are unanimous. The only thing that was bothering me was the way I left, which might have looked childish. I don't care what HE thinks, I just don't like it when I act in an immature way. I won't write back, won't ask for anything, including an apology, and will just see how this unfolds from now on and then make a decision if he deserves a reply if he writes to me via text or Messenger. I don't think he will call me or send me an email so no need to block him. I have caller ID anyways. Leaving was right. You stood up for yourself. Whether he sees it like That or not, you showed the fortitude that you know you’re worth more. Frankly it doesn’t matter what he thinks. It matters that you understand that. From what I read it doesn’t sound like you acted ugly. You just removed yourself from an unpleasant situation. It was already said upthread, but the way he acted towards you is a reflection on him, not you. Frankly it’s more bothersome to me that it was someone you knew and trusted who said these vile things.
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Post by 50offscrapper on Jul 15, 2019 23:44:18 GMT
Seriously, as I was reading this. My thought was I would pack my bags and leave. So glad you did. Remember when they show you who they really are believe them. You are tiny. The average US women is a size 14. I think a 27 is like a 4 in US. So, the dude is so wrong. Goodness. He is showing his true colors. Run.... while you can. Don't run back. He doesn't deserve you.
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Post by hop2 on Jul 15, 2019 23:56:52 GMT
Listen to these ladies. They know stuff. Like your worth more than that!
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AmandaA
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,501
Aug 28, 2015 22:31:17 GMT
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Post by AmandaA on Jul 15, 2019 23:58:14 GMT
The other peas have already said what I am thinking quite eloquently. But I just want to reiterate that I don’t think you were childish for leaving. I think it shows you are a confident and empowered woman who isn’t going to take any sort of body shaming from a douchebag like that. I hope that if I ever found myself in a similar situation, I would have the courage, confidence, and grace to do the same thing. I think strong women like that intimidate the hell out of guys like him 😬
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Post by dewryce on Jul 16, 2019 0:00:07 GMT
I agree with everyone else. I actually think you were nice to leave him a note. I might have cut the crotch out of all his pants instead. With 3 similarly placed holes in the backside. Bonus: with that location he might not even notice until someone points it out to him after he’s worn them out in public.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jul 16, 2019 0:01:50 GMT
This is what I think: HE'S gross. He actually thinks you are very attractive, too attractive for him, and he wants you to think you don't deserve better because he is insecure. This.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jul 16, 2019 0:04:45 GMT
Wow. what an Ahole. Good riddance.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,050
Jul 4, 2014 6:57:02 GMT
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Post by AllieC on Jul 16, 2019 0:14:32 GMT
I applaud you leaving and no I don't think it is childish. He was the one who behaved badly.
You look fantastic but I hope you aren't looking at the picture and analysing yourself for the things he pointed out. He is doing it to affect your self esteem so please don't give it another thought. I doesn't matter what size you are, he was rude and out of line.
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Post by jenb72 on Jul 16, 2019 0:15:23 GMT
You're getting a preview of what life would be like him if you were to invite him back in. Take the hint as a gift and be done with him now before you're any more invested. I applaud you for leaving like you did. I wish I'd had enough self-esteem to do that with my first husband before he became my husband. Wash your hands of him and move on to better things, because you deserve much better.
Jen
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 16, 2019 0:20:28 GMT
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 16, 2019 0:23:43 GMT
Also he can go fuck himself. Oh right that’s all the sex your ex-man will be getting. If you get in a bind Steph can help you out. Who births these assholes?
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Post by librarylady on Jul 16, 2019 0:37:40 GMT
I was reading your story and wanted to cheer when you came to the part about leaving at 4 AM. Good for you!!! I hope he was inconvenienced!
You look very fit. Shake his dust from your feet and move on.
Note: This is a 100% vote from the peas that you did the right thing!! Those are rare votes (100%).
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Post by gritzi on Jul 16, 2019 0:56:20 GMT
Kudos to you for leaving him! I think it was generous of you to even leave him a note. I would have packed and left w/o any hint of goodbye.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jul 16, 2019 1:03:18 GMT
What transpired and what you ended up ultimately doing shows that you are brave, have confidence and won’t take that kind of shit from anyone!
You’re a rockstar in my book and I ❤️❤️❤️❤️ that you ditched him in the hotel...perfection!!
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Post by needsperspective on Jul 16, 2019 1:31:45 GMT
Correct me if I'm wrong:
You knew this guy for 26 years, but hadn't seen him for many years. You reconnected 2 years ago and spent about 1 month together and he's insulting how you look in underwear? What are you doing with this guy?
I won't have anything to do with him anymore 😉 but in short, yes, that's how it went down.
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