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Post by Linda on Aug 23, 2019 20:51:45 GMT
I think my Ex has FINALLY determined that I was not doing ‘nothing’ all day. He just doesn’t want to admit it. But I’ll say this about being a SAHM I had to split my skull open to get a ‘sick day’ and even then they still came to bug me about what was for dinner. I mean the Flu wasn’t enough to get me a ‘sick day’ where I could lay in bed. I had to additionally pass out, cutting open my head, before I was ‘allowed’ to rest in bed. SAHM being ‘on vacation’ lmao Heck, any kind of mom being ‘on vacation’ is laughable - maybe someone whose married to a unicorn who truly shares in the work of child rearing 50/50 I’ve yet to see it. (((((Hugs)))) Dh asked (jokingly but it also wasn't really a joke) how soon I would be on my feet and washing dishes as I was being wheeled out of the hospital after knee surgery. |
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Post by dewryce on Aug 23, 2019 22:02:34 GMT
Pretty much! Sometimes when DH is trying to get my goat he will tell people that’s what I do all day.  LOL My dh does the same. We laugh, and I’m not knocking your DH’s, but this can actually make it worse. When our husbands/dads/brothers who are not in the dark ages make jokes with their male friends who are in the dark ages, it just reinforces what they think as they likely don’t get the sarcasm. I’ve tried to talk to my DH about this, regarding a similar subject. When his coworkers/friends make sexist comments and he doesn’t say anything or laughs because he is uncomfortable, it makes our situation worse. It reinforces their beliefs because all these other guys “agree” with them, by default by not speaking up. Now, I understand there are times and places where speaking up may not be prudent, but adding to it with innocently meant jokes probably doesn’t help. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:05:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2019 22:21:23 GMT
I'm a SAHM to an 18 year old ( 22 year old has moved out) I've gotten the "it must be nice" comments before. What they don't know is some days I have to force myself out of bed because of my debilitating anxiety. That I would love to work but right now I just can't do it. It takes everything in me to take care of my family each day.
My husband has served over 26 years in the Army and has had more close calls than I like to think about. Our oldest has epilepsy and I was his driver when he was unable to drive to work and college.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955 
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Aug 23, 2019 22:40:55 GMT
When I cut back my hours at my old job, my coworkers made tons of snide remarks about how nice it must be to leave earlier than them. Yes it was nice. But any of them could have also reduced their hours, if they had been willing to lose the income and vacation time like I did. And ultimately those reduced hours led to my firing, so if any of them want to risk that as well, they too could have the nice hours!
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 24, 2019 3:31:22 GMT
What part art of your life looks great, but requires a sacrifice others don’t see. I'm a SAHM. Things I have heard are it must be nice having all that free time! I would be bored being a SAHM! I'd have so much time to do volunteering if I was a SAHM. I could take better care of myself (exercise, haircuts, manicures). There would be less stress in my life! None of those things are true.
My situation is unique and not like most SAHM's. I don't see what I do as sacrifice, just certain things that need to be done that make it impossible to work outside the home right now.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 24, 2019 3:54:43 GMT
I do have permanent divots on my shoulders & collar bone. On the plus side I do have a tiny waist cause nothing grows in the shade! I need a boob job!  No, I don't envy your big boobs and some men can be complete assholes! I’ve always envied your ferocious uterus AND your mad dry sense of humor. You are one of the wittiest women I’ve met online.   |
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Post by pattyraindrops on Aug 24, 2019 5:45:59 GMT
For awhile DH was traveling to France for work and we used frequent flier miles to help us travel too. People said it must be nice to be in France and see everything and have your family go on vacation. And it is nice for him to have French pastries and us to go on vacation, but he does not see anything while working. He works longer hours than he normally would because "Americans are paid more" and it is expected of him and even if he didn't things are generally closed by the time everyone leaves work. And traveling is literally pain for him as a 6'6" man with long legs and work only allowing economy seats for those 10 hour flights. He also didn't travel enough to get a ton of points for a family of 4 or 5 so it took a lot of work for me to figure out how to make the points work and cover us.
I was a sahm and now a homemaker. People say it must be nice to do anything you choose and it is, but I get real tired of being told I wasted my education (I didn't, I just used it a different way than you did), or you do everything I do and more. You don't. I just don't share a lot of what I do - and it isn't all fun and games. It was also no fun, especially the weeks DH was gone not talking to any adults.
I wouldn't trade what I do and have done. I am lucky and I know it. There is just always more to what people do than you see.
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No, I don't envy your big boobs and some men can be complete assholes!
