Is it too late to decide I don't want to have children?
Sept 5, 2019 11:20:17 GMT
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Lexica likes this
Post by luvnlifelady on Sept 5, 2019 11:20:17 GMT
He didn’t display this personality for a number of years after his multiple treatments, so I can’t blame the chemicals. His dad was an ass, but even he wasn’t this bad. He stopped talking to his father about 4 or 5 years ago. He would come and meet me for lunch and respond to texts, but it was only when he wanted to pick up something from me and I didn’t feel any normal emotion coming from him. Even his hugs, initiated by me, felt stiff and forced. I tried to tell him that I loved and missed him. He says he is too busy. I would offer to drive to his area. He would have some other excuse. He hadn’t contacted me on my birthday, mother’s day, Christmas, or any other holiday. Not even a text.
I finally quit bugging him and decided to wait to see if he would reach out to me at all. He hasn’t. He said they don’t go to his fiance’s House for holidays either and claims he has a right to enjoy them as he sees fit instead of being required to go to different places like he had to do growing up. He stopped coming to family Christmas, even though we didn’t hold it on Christmas Day, way back before Dad died, so this isn’t a new sudden thing. And I’ve asked if I did or said anything to hurt him. Nope. He just wants to live his own life now.
So, even though I had one child, it is as if I didn’t have one, so be careful what you wish for🙄😉. I know you are just having a moment. I wish my son was too.
I haven’t given up though. I told him that I will always love him and be there for him no matter what and that he can contact me any time. I don’t think he will unless something happens with his relationship with his fiancé. Then he will turn to me until he meets someone else. That is what happened with the last relationship before this one. Sigh. Kids can break our hearts in so many ways, can’t they?
Lexica, I wish I could be there to give you a hug in person. I’m going through similar with my 19-year-old. It’s not the divorce or my move as he was not a great communicator even when I was with his dad.
He just seems to not really like me much. If something is happening exciting in his world, he will sometimes tell me of a news story he is covering or something but then I get my hopes up that we will continue to communicate but it just falls off.
He used to hit me up for money constantly and I did stop the gravy train and communication has even slow to trickle since then. I do miss him but it’s up to him now. I have stopped bothering him just like you did.
Not too long ago he said my request for talking to him was bordering on harassment. I don’t think that was true but that’s how he took it. I’m sure his dad has poisoned him somewhat against me so there is that angle to.
Just breaks my heart because as you know, we parents give and give and give to our kids and then we are shoved to the side. I am busy with my own life now in my new town but sometimes a child at the bakery will remind me of him and it’s all I can do not to sit there and cry. Everything is all about him and only him.
I worry about his future as he’s not continuing his education and really doesn’t socialize much with peers. My concerns fall on deaf ears with his dad though so not much I can do anymore.
