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Post by vpohlman on Oct 15, 2014 3:24:35 GMT
Crazy that this thread should appear today. It's the 10th anniversary of my dad's funeral today, and it happens to be my parents' 53rd wedding anniversary. My mom passed away in March and right before her funeral the funeral director told us not to be surprised or anything but the diggers had started to dig on the wrong side of the headstone! They didn't make it down to dad's casket before they realized it, but don't be surprised when there's no grass on his side! That was kind of crazy!
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azredhead
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,755 
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Post by azredhead on Oct 15, 2014 8:40:34 GMT
Other people might think it's weird but when someone dies in our family all the males wear kilts. Yes we are Scottish. AND they do bagpipes at the cemetery.
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Post by tuva42 on Oct 15, 2014 14:07:40 GMT
I've been surprised at how differently things are done in different parts of the country. My dad was living in CT when he passed away 4 years ago. We held a funeral up there with my step-mother, then had his body brought back down to KY where he wanted to be buried.
When I was helping my step-mother arrange the funeral up in CT, I was surprised that we were expected to pay for food for a reception at the church after the service. And we had to make a donation to the ladies group at the church to serve the food. It was very nice, but I found it odd that the bereaved family was to provide all the food. Then we had to go out and buy lots and lots of food for all the friends and family that gathered at my step-mother's house after the funeral. No one brought any food at all. When a friend of my step-mother's asked me if there was anything she could do I suggested bringing a meal later on and my step-mother was aghast! "You're asking people to bring me food?" Also, no one sent flowers to the funeral. Apparently, it is not expected there, the only flowers are those bought by the family. It all seemed so strange to me but completely normal to my CT relatives.
When we held the funeral a couple of weeks later back in KY we didn't have food at the funeral home but my home and my brother's and sister's homes were flooded with food brought by friends. It seems that's what we do when people lose a loved one, we take them food. I had meals brought for 2 weeks. And the funeral home was flooded with flowers. Even though we asked for donations to the Alzheimer's Assoc., folks still sent flowers.
When my aunt died several years ago in Indiana, there was a huge meal served to the family at the church after the service. All the food was provided by the ladies of the church.
All three services were wonderful and filled with friends who cared and told us wonderful stories and helped us through our grief. It was just interesting to me that the traditions were so different in different parts of the country. Flowers, no flowers, food, no food, that wasn't what mattered, just the friends, their hugs and their words.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,381
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Oct 15, 2014 14:35:37 GMT
At my MIL's mother's visitation the night before the funeral, she and all 4 of her siblings and spouses disappeared. It turns out they went to dinner right in the middle of the visitation. DH and I were left to great people. I've never heard of the immediate family leaving for dinner! When my FIL passed, I made sure we had food at the funeral home. We were at my brother-in-law's visitation and someone asked me where his widow was. I thought maybe she had gone to the bathroom or gone to the family room to grab a bite or two (we had food in there), but it turns out she and her sister and cousin had gone out for Chinese - in the middle of the visitation for her husband. I will never understand that! When my mother-in-law died last fall, this same person came back from many states away, where she lives now with her new husband. When the family members got in place for the receiving line at the visitation, she added herself to the beginning of the line (not in the plans we had made!), and was greeting people as "x's widow" even though she is married to someone else now. She was telling people how "Mom" had waited for her to get there before dying - and at the other end of the line my husband was telling people how he had played a tape of his dad reciting the rosary as a comfort to his mom so she'd be OK letting go. It was weird. |
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