Belle
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Belle on Oct 4, 2019 15:58:02 GMT
My 13 year old DD is invited to a birthday party next weekend. The plans are to arrive around 1pm, hangout and then around 6pm (when it gets dark) head to a local amusement park that will have 3 haunted house “experiences” plus rides. The girls will have a sleepover at the birthday girls house after the amusement park.
My DD attended an outdoor haunted trail last year and ended up feeling dizzy. She had to be driven out of the trail on a 4 wheeler by a staff member. I think she was feeling dizzy because she hadn’t eaten much that day and was also likely dehydrated. There is more to this story but I’ll try to keep this short.
Back to the party next weekend, DD isn’t wanting to go to the amusement park portion of the party. Personally, I think it sounds like a really fun idea for a party. I think she is worried that she will feel dizzy again and I definitely don’t think that will happen as she hasn’t felt dizzy in a long time. I don’t want to see her hold herself back from fun activities with friends. On the other hand, I don’t want to force her to go as that wouldn’t be fun at all.
One option is to drop her off for the hangout portion of the party and then pick her up when the rest of the girls head out to the amusement park. We could bring her back for the sleepover.
I could also encourage her to go to the park but I have a hunch she would sit out for the haunted houses and that wouldn’t be fun for her or the other girls.
Thoughts? Advice?
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Oct 4, 2019 16:08:21 GMT
She could take some Bonine ahead of going to the amusement park. It's safe for kids her age. I get the less-drowsy, chewable tablets and generally they don't make me tired.
Just knowing she's taken them might be all she needs to avoid feeling dizzy.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,684
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 4, 2019 16:20:16 GMT
Maybe she’s scared of haunted stuff. I wouldn’t force her to go, they’re not my thing and I wouldn’t appreciate being forced to go. That said I also wouldn’t be driving back and force multiple times. I’d tell her if she doesn’t want to do the amusement park then she had to choose, either the sleepover or pre-park portion,...not both.
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 4, 2019 16:22:56 GMT
If she doesn’t want to go she shouldn’t go. Just pick up and drop her off as you suggested.
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Post by myshelly on Oct 4, 2019 16:37:23 GMT
This doesn’t seem like a dilemma. It just seems like obviously you should pick her up and then take her back. I wouldn’t give any of this a second thought much less a thread.
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Post by Fidget on Oct 4, 2019 16:45:11 GMT
Honestly - I don't think I would take her twice, I would make her decide if she want's to participate in either the 1st part 1-6 or go after for the sleep over. I'd make her pick one or the other.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 13:31:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2019 16:46:50 GMT
It sounds like the haunted houses are just a portion of the amusement park. Perhaps there's somewhere safe she can wait while her friends enjoy that attraction? If not and she's adamant that she doesn't want to go, then I wouldn't force her and would try to take her on my own to help her get over her fear.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Oct 4, 2019 16:47:58 GMT
This doesn’t seem like a dilemma. It just seems like obviously you should pick her up and then take her back. I wouldn’t give any of this a second thought much less a thread. I don’t think she was looking for a sanctimonious response. We all know you’re the *perfect* parent given your responses in this group. The beauty of the message board is to toss out ideas, thoughts, concerns...create a thread to “talk out loud” things we already may know the answer to, ya know? |
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
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Post by used2scrap on Oct 4, 2019 16:52:41 GMT
I’d pick her up and then take her back for the sleepover if that’s what she wants to do, after once suggesting either the Bonine or doing something else at the park. She’s 13, life’s too short to force her to forgo the other fun parts because she’s anxious about the haunted house portion or have her betray her own feelings and do the haunted house if she really doesn’t want to.
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craftykitten
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Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Oct 4, 2019 16:56:13 GMT
Why not encourage her to go and just sit out the bits she doesn't want to do? I'd probably do the same, there are some rides I hate.
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Belle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,309
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Post by Belle on Oct 4, 2019 16:59:44 GMT
It sounds like the haunted houses are just a portion of the amusement park. Perhaps there's somewhere safe she can wait while her friends enjoy that attraction? If not and she's adamant that she doesn't want to go, then I wouldn't force her and would try to take her on my own to help her get over her fear. I have thought about taking her this weekend and seeing how it goes. I know she was pretty scared last year due to feeling dizzy not the actual haunted trail. I don’t want her to be held back by her fears. As for the party, she could definitely wait for the other kids outside of the haunted houses but I don’t think she wants to do that. I wish she felt more comfortable about doing that as I am sure the rest of the amusement park activities and rides will be a lot of fun. |
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 13:31:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2019 17:05:30 GMT
It sounds like the haunted houses are just a portion of the amusement park. Perhaps there's somewhere safe she can wait while her friends enjoy that attraction? If not and she's adamant that she doesn't want to go, then I wouldn't force her and would try to take her on my own to help her get over her fear. I have thought about taking her this weekend and seeing how it goes. I know she was pretty scared last year due to feeling dizzy not the actual haunted trail. I don’t want her to be held back by her fears. As for the party, she could definitely wait for the other kids outside of the haunted houses but I don’t think she wants to do that. I wish she felt more comfortable about doing that as I am sure the rest of the amusement park activities and rides will be a lot of fun.
Does she know the other girls attending? Perhaps there's another person who hates haunted houses and would be willing to wait or ride other rides with her?
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Post by mustlovecats on Oct 4, 2019 17:05:38 GMT
My daughter close to the same age would not enjoy the rides or the haunted house portion. She went to a Halloween party last year where the kids went to six flags together and she just picked a bench near the rides she didn’t want to ride and waited for the ones who did want to ride. She said there were 8 kids and usually one or two would skip the ride and sit with her and it wasn’t an issue at all, she was happy and said she would do it the same way again if the same kids did the Halloween get together this year.
I don’t like spooky/scary stuff so she and I understand each other on this. I have never felt held back by my dislike of haunted houses and my daughter has many opportunities to face her fears so it’s okay with me if she doesn’t participate.
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Post by peano on Oct 4, 2019 17:25:41 GMT
This doesn’t seem like a dilemma. It just seems like obviously you should pick her up and then take her back. I wouldn’t give any of this a second thought much less a thread. Why have so many of your posts in the past year or so been so unkind? |
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Post by dewryce on Oct 4, 2019 17:37:59 GMT
It sounds like the haunted houses are just a portion of the amusement park. Perhaps there's somewhere safe she can wait while her friends enjoy that attraction? If not and she's adamant that she doesn't want to go, then I wouldn't force her and would try to take her on my own to help her get over her fear. I have thought about taking her this weekend and seeing how it goes. I know she was pretty scared last year due to feeling dizzy not the actual haunted trail. I don’t want her to be held back by her fears. As for the party, she could definitely wait for the other kids outside of the haunted houses but I don’t think she wants to do that. I wish she felt more comfortable about doing that as I am sure the rest of the amusement park activities and rides will be a lot of fun. Is it possible she is saying it is about the dizziness because she’s embarrassed? And are you certain last year she really was dizzy and not just saying she was because she was scared? I can see my young cousin who is prone to anxiety and being scared doing this to avoid embarrassment. Either way, I love the idea of you taking her alone to suss things out in a less stressful environment for her. It seems it would give her the biggest chance of being able to attend with her friends next weekend and not letting this issue (whatever it may be) really take hold and affecting her for a long time. And not reinforce her avoidance. Nip it in the bud. I mean, if it is a fear of scary things there is no shame there at all and she can learn to be confident in sharing that it’s not her thing and she’s going to do something else instead during that portion of the evening. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Oct 4, 2019 17:52:04 GMT
Teenage syncope is real and it’s scary. We had the same problem with DS, except he actually lost consciousness. In church. Twice! Luckily he didn’t have friends around at the time.
Did you DD have a medical check up after her episode? DS was told to eat breakfast, drink a glass of orange juice, and eat a snack sized bag of potato chips before Mass. He was happy to comply! The thought is that their blood supply isn’t keeping up with their growth and the extra fluids on board (as well as the salt to retain the fluids) helps with the fainting.
For your DD, it could have been vertigo. In that case, the meclizine should help. And the fluids and salt intake wouldn’t hurt for one night.
I think friend relationships are important and I’d do what I could to help foster a good relationship. I think taking her this weekend is a wonderful idea. That way, she can see for herself how she handles it. And it would be even less scary for her the following week, as she would know what to expect.
Otherwise, I would drive her back and forth if it isn’t a long distance. But I would first encourage her to go with the other girls and just sit out the scary stuff. And I would talk to her about being a good sport about it and nonchalant. No woe-is-me tales, but just say the darkness and the lights give her vertigo, so she prefers to sit it out.
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schizo319
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Post by schizo319 on Oct 4, 2019 18:38:06 GMT
I despise haunted "experiences". I intensely dislike being startled, so they give me anxiety and the lights (strobes, spinning, etc) make me feel dizzy and physically sick to my stomach - issues I don't have in any other setting. Everyone always tries to convince me how much "fun" they are, a few times, I've gone with some friends because they've hounded me, but it's always a miserable experience for me. What is fun for some people just isn't for others.
I'd pick DD up and take her back for the sleepover portion.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 13:31:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2019 18:53:41 GMT
This doesn’t seem like a dilemma. It just seems like obviously you should pick her up and then take her back. I wouldn’t give any of this a second thought much less a thread. I don’t think she was looking for a sanctimonious response. We all know you’re the *perfect* parent given your responses in this group. The beauty of the message board is to toss out ideas, thoughts, concerns...create a thread to “talk out loud” things we already may know the answer to, ya know? ...perfectly stated  |
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Belle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,309
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Post by Belle on Oct 4, 2019 18:58:58 GMT
Teenage syncope is real and it’s scary. We had the same problem with DS, except he actually lost consciousness. In church. Twice! Luckily he didn’t have friends around at the time. Did you DD have a medical check up after her episode? DS was told to eat breakfast, drink a glass of orange juice, and eat a snack sized bag of potato chips before Mass. He was happy to comply! The thought is that their blood supply isn’t keeping up with their growth and the extra fluids on board (as well as the salt to retain the fluids) helps with the fainting. For your DD, it could have been vertigo. In that case, the meclizine should help. And the fluids and salt intake wouldn’t hurt for one night. I think friend relationships are important and I’d do what I could to help foster a good relationship. I think taking her this weekend is a wonderful idea. That way, she can see for herself how she handles it. And it would be even less scary for her the following week, as she would know what to expect. Otherwise, I would drive her back and forth if it isn’t a long distance. But I would first encourage her to go with the other girls and just sit out the scary stuff. And I would talk to her about being a good sport about it and nonchalant. No woe-is-me tales, but just say the darkness and the lights give her vertigo, so she prefers to sit it out. Yes, very scary for her and us. The Haunted Trail was the 1st time she felt dizzy. It happened again at school and they had to get a wheelchair for her because she felt like she couldn't walk. She had a thorough exam at Seattle Children's hospital and is 100% healthy! She and I now watch how much she drinks, how much protein she eats as well as increasing her salt intake. She hasn't had any episodes at all since May or maybe even April of last year. Interesting about your son, our neighbor had the exact same experience with her teenage daughter during a church service. Thank you for the good advice about going along and what she can say if she wants to skip the haunted houses. |
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Belle
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Post by Belle on Oct 4, 2019 19:01:49 GMT
I have thought about taking her this weekend and seeing how it goes. I know she was pretty scared last year due to feeling dizzy not the actual haunted trail. I don’t want her to be held back by her fears. As for the party, she could definitely wait for the other kids outside of the haunted houses but I don’t think she wants to do that. I wish she felt more comfortable about doing that as I am sure the rest of the amusement park activities and rides will be a lot of fun.
Does she know the other girls attending? Perhaps there's another person who hates haunted houses and would be willing to wait or ride other rides with her?
She does know the other girls but I think they are all okay with haunted houses. Apparently, the birthday girl sent out a poll while planning her party and asked all the guests if they would like to go to the Halloween themed amusement park or a pumpkin patch. My DD was the only one that picked the pumpkins patch.  |
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Post by nlwilkins on Oct 4, 2019 19:08:47 GMT
The problem with sitting out parts of the amusement park is possibly there might be a girl or two there who would make an issue of it and either make fun of your daughter or try to pressure her into joining in. I would not encourage her to go to the amusement park if she is planning on sitting out parts of the experience. That being said, once the group gets back to the house for the sleepover, they will be full of talk about the fun they had at the amusement park and it might make your daughter feel left out. Just some hings to consider when she is deciding what to do. Possibly these negative things would not happen.
By the way, this really sounds like a LONG LONG day for any 13 year old. Five hours hanging out, then amusement park, AND then a sleepover. That mother is a brave woman for sure.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 4, 2019 19:10:50 GMT
I have thought about taking her this weekend and seeing how it goes. I know she was pretty scared last year due to feeling dizzy not the actual haunted trail. I don’t want her to be held back by her fears. As for the party, she could definitely wait for the other kids outside of the haunted houses but I don’t think she wants to do that. I wish she felt more comfortable about doing that as I am sure the rest of the amusement park activities and rides will be a lot of fun. Is it possible she is saying it is about the dizziness because she’s embarrassed? And are you certain last year she really was dizzy and not just saying she was because she was scared? I can see my young cousin who is prone to anxiety and being scared doing this to avoid embarrassment. Either way, I love the idea of you taking her alone to suss things out in a less stressful environment for her. It seems it would give her the biggest chance of being able to attend with her friends next weekend and not letting this issue (whatever it may be) really take hold and affecting her for a long time. And not reinforce her avoidance. Nip it in the bud. I mean, if it is a fear of scary things there is no shame there at all and she can learn to be confident in sharing that it’s not her thing and she’s going to do something else instead during that portion of the evening. I agree with this. I have no problem being sensitive...to a point. If you have a fear and you want to face it...I'll stand beside you while you do. But the world doesn't bend and neither do I to irrational fears. My 3 stepdaughters have been frightened by their mom of nearly everything. The phobias are just so overwhelming, you have no idea. I took them to a museum and we had to park on the 6th floor of a parking garage. They refused to get in the elevator. OK. Well, I'm getting in the elevator and I'm going up six floors. If you want to get on and hold my hand, I'm all about that. If you want to practice and try one floor, I can do that. If you choose not to face your fear, you are walking up the 6 flights while I take the elevator. In this circumstance, I would offer to go the weekend before with her. She can experience her fear with you, in a safe place and then when she goes the second time, she won't be surprised by anything. If she doesn't want to do that and still wants to attend the party, I will drop her off, once. She will have to choose whether to attend the pre-party or the slumber party. And it isn't fair to the parents of the other child to have to pay for her to attend the attraction, if she's not going to participate. I don't know if that's the situation or what but that wouldn't be right if the parents have to pay only for her to sit out. I love rollercoasters, my DD loves rollercoasters. We make a trip to the park every summer. My stepdaughters are afraid of rollercoasters. I won't pay a $50 per person ticket for them to go to an amusement park when they would end up sitting instead of riding. I don't think that's fair. I would rather spend that money on something they will enjoy for them to do instead. |
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Post by lisacharlotte on Oct 4, 2019 19:23:25 GMT
I agree with the awkwardness of missing the amusement park portion as well. It’s going to be a big topic of conversation and your daughter may feel left out. I don’t have a daughter, but I know this is a bad age for not wanting to be singled out for being different. Just something to ponder (on top of everything else).
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 13:31:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2019 19:27:23 GMT
My 13 year old DD is invited to a birthday party next weekend. The plans are to arrive around 1pm, hangout and then around 6pm (when it gets dark) head to a local amusement park that will have 3 haunted house “experiences” plus rides. The girls will have a sleepover at the birthday girls house after the amusement park. My DD attended an outdoor haunted trail last year and ended up feeling dizzy. She had to be driven out of the trail on a 4 wheeler by a staff member. I think she was feeling dizzy because she hadn’t eaten much that day and was also likely dehydrated. There is more to this story but I’ll try to keep this short. Back to the party next weekend, DD isn’t wanting to go to the amusement park portion of the party. Personally, I think it sounds like a really fun idea for a party. I think she is worried that she will feel dizzy again and I definitely don’t think that will happen as she hasn’t felt dizzy in a long time. I don’t want to see her hold herself back from fun activities with friends. On the other hand, I don’t want to force her to go as that wouldn’t be fun at all. One option is to drop her off for the hangout portion of the party and then pick her up when the rest of the girls head out to the amusement park. We could bring her back for the sleepover. I could also encourage her to go to the park but I have a hunch she would sit out for the haunted houses and that wouldn’t be fun for her or the other girls. Thoughts? Advice? I would talk to her about why she wants to skip the amusement portion. Right now you are just assuming the why. No judgments, just the real deal why. Then ask her if she would like advice for her reason so she feels comfortable going with her friends. I, for one, really dislike haunted house types of stuff. I don't enjoy being scared. Nor do I enjoy amusement park rides like rollercoasters for the same reason. If that is the case I'd just pick her up and return her for the sleep over. |
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 13:31:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2019 19:32:12 GMT
Does she know the other girls attending? Perhaps there's another person who hates haunted houses and would be willing to wait or ride other rides with her?
She does know the other girls but I think they are all okay with haunted houses. Apparently, the birthday girl sent out a poll while planning her party and asked all the guests if they would like to go to the Halloween themed amusement park or a pumpkin patch. My DD was the only one that picked the pumpkins patch. Halloween themed amusement park doesn’t necessarily mean they enjoy haunted houses. Several people in my family hate roller coasters, but would still pick an amusement park over a pumpkin patch. It wouldn’t hurt to inquire if she’s prepared to skip it anyway. |
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Belle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,309
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Post by Belle on Oct 4, 2019 19:34:45 GMT
Thank you to all of you for sharing your thoughts. You have no idea how helpful and reassuring it is to me to read your comments. Dd and I will talk after school about what she wants to do.
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 4, 2019 19:43:17 GMT
I'd pick her up before the amusement park and drop her back at the party for the sleep over. She knows the other girls will be talking about what they saw and experienced and is fine with missing it.
I'd let her know that was the plan and then see if she'd share more about why she doesn't want to do the haunted parts. It sounds to me like she doesn't enjoy being terrified, doesn't want to be in a peer pressure situation and/or spoil anyone else's fun (sitting outside or having someone feel like they should stay with her), and is happy to rejoin her friends after.
I've never enjoyed haunted/horror things and would skip them when I was that age.
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Post by flanz on Oct 4, 2019 20:51:23 GMT
She could take some Bonine ahead of going to the amusement park. It's safe for kids her age. I get the less-drowsy, chewable tablets and generally they don't make me tired. Just knowing she's taken them might be all she needs to avoid feeling dizzy. Everyone's different. Chewable Bonine makes me a positive zombie. I feel drunk and like my head is full of cotton. |
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Post by librarylady on Oct 4, 2019 21:10:54 GMT
If she doesn’t want to go she shouldn’t go. Just pick up and drop her off as you suggested. I think this is the solution unless the distance is a big PIA. If the party is in the neighborhood, then do the PU and drop off.
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 4, 2019 21:32:47 GMT
I agree with the awkwardness of missing the amusement park portion as well. It’s going to be a big topic of conversation and your daughter may feel left out. I don’t have a daughter, but I know this is a bad age for not wanting to be singled out for being different. Just something to ponder (on top of everything else). That thought crossed my mind as well. If your dd is concerned about this (or you think it will be an issue) have her skip the pre-park and park parts and just go for the sleepover....she can tell her friends that her mom needed her for something totally lame and she wishes she could have been with her friends instead but her mom was being such a pain  |
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