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Post by littlemama on Oct 15, 2014 14:10:35 GMT
Someone else's kid when the someone is right there? Not a damn thing. Not my job to decide how she raises her kid and what she tolerates from him.
My kid? Would have it explained to him in GREAT detail how that is rude and offensive, and is not to be said again.
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Country Ham
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Oct 15, 2014 14:16:01 GMT
Unless I knew the dynamics I am not sure how much I would of intervened. It seems to be a pretty much accepted thing to do in our society to make fun of Walmart Patrons. I guess I see a son teasing a mom as pretty "normal" as long as no one was in a bad mood. Were you upset he was making fun of his mom or making fun of walmart patrons or both?
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msliz
Drama Llama
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Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Oct 15, 2014 14:17:02 GMT
... But I didn't say anything. No one puts him in his place and he too has no filter. When I say he has no filter I mean he has no social skills. I was really angry but didn't want this to affect our friendship. If the mom never corrects him, there's probably a reason for that. Maybe the mom should be seeing a counselor too. Is she afraid of her son? |
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msliz
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Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Oct 15, 2014 14:26:49 GMT
.... I guess I see a son teasing a mom as pretty "normal" as long as no one was in a bad mood. I was one of the ones who posted on the other teasing thread that it was okay to tease mom. But I never got the sense that, in that case, it was part of an abusive relationship. In this case though, I'm not so sure. A person who is doing the teasing has to know the "victim" well enough to know what subjects are off limits, and to know when it's just the wrong time or place to tease, and to treat the person and the relationship with respect. People who insult others at every opportunity aren't funny; they're just mean. |
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Post by bwife on Oct 15, 2014 14:34:34 GMT
I would have said, "why are you looking at my butt?"  If I was the friend sitting there I would have said, "why are you looking at your mom's butt?" This ^^ is the best!  I agree, it would have been hard to sit there and listen too. I am sure that she was embarrassed by his attitude, I would have been. I guess it depends on my friend. Some of them I know would of waited until I was dropped off and then ripped said childs head off. Others would not of said anything to them. Ever! about the situation. That is when I would of said something. Probably just something like "well that is rude" and like poster above, I probably would of asked why they were looking. If the kid is in Therapy, it might be because of the way he acts, there could be some issues there. Maybe that is why she choose not to say anything, Cause it is something they are already working on? Saying something might have started a big fight or argument and I am sure she did not want that to happen in front of you. |
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Post by Zee on Oct 15, 2014 14:45:48 GMT
Since I'm pretty sure you're talking about the same autistic kid in diapers that you're always talking about, I'd let it go and let his mother pull up her panties--both literally and in the "big girl" sense--and deal with him herself.
It would probably be more helpful to her if you discussed coping strategies with her directly instead of talking about him here, and encouraged her to work with his therapist.
If you must say something, I think something calm and unemotional like "that hurt her feelings" would be best.
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georgiapea
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Post by georgiapea on Oct 15, 2014 14:53:48 GMT
Elannah, can you talk with your friend's boy about what he said to his mom? Explain kindly that belittling someone knowing you will cause them to feel badly is so wrong. Remind him what a wonderful woman his mother is and suggest how he might have approached the situation (because allowing someone to go about with their unders showing is wrong too) so she could fix the problem without being made to feel badly about herself.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,539
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Post by iowgirl on Oct 15, 2014 14:56:31 GMT
How does Dad speak about Mom and others. That is very telling sometimes.
I have been around some men who speak very derogatorily about their wives and women in general. Their sons pick up this same practice.
I never speak poorly of my husband, and he does not of me. We tease - but never in a mean way. My son respects women, and my daughters refuse to be treated like a doormat.
It does take a village - and there is always a village idiot.
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Post by Aheartfeltcard on Oct 15, 2014 15:01:56 GMT
I feel stupid asking but why was her underwear out at all? I don't think it should be and maybe his remarks were to cover up the fact that he is ashamed. He might have made a joke to ease the tension. I don't think it was the appropriate way for him to handle it but perhaps he didn't know what to do. People react to things in all kinds of ways.
If I were in that situation I would just mind my own business. If my son said that to me I'd ask him to speak to me nicely and if he has something to say to keep it between he and I. I just cannot imagine I would allow my underwear to hang out in front of anyone and allow it to happen.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:45:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2014 15:50:54 GMT
This is not the child in diapers. This is a different friend. I was in her car. This is why I said nothing.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Oct 15, 2014 17:04:31 GMT
I want to say I would've let him know that was out of line, rude, etc.... but OTOH, I maybe would have kept my mouth shut and let the mom handle it. Folks all have a different ways to deal with things. Hard to say without being in the moment. I agree. Even on this thread some would handle it differently. Not all are taking offense at it and it would depend on the family on what I would do. My way isn't the only way to raise a child so for me it really depends on the people and what is happening. If he's in therapy maybe this is something the mom is taking back and discussing with them. I don't know, I'm not in her shoes and there could be much more then what is showing on the surface. |
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tiffanytwisted
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you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Oct 16, 2014 14:05:57 GMT
What did you do? You didn't just sit there did you? If one of my friend's almost-adult kids said that to my friend in front of me, I would have talked to the young man myself and told him he was being rude, inappropriate and disrespectful. And then the b$tchy part of me might have thrown in a "Go look in a mirror. You aren't going to make the cover of GQ either." depending on whether he looked sorry or defiant. This is me. I have no problem calling out someone else's kid if they're disrespecting their mother. I also think it's more mortifying to be called out by someone else. My kids would die if that ever happened to them. As for the original question, at the very least I would have pulled over to rip him a new one. And then again when we got home. And then again when his father got home. |
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Post by shankletwizzle on Oct 16, 2014 15:27:23 GMT
I would have said, "Well, we can't have that, now, can we?!?" And maybe reach over to help her adjust her apparel. Then for good measure, I would have added, "But your delivery could use some some work, though." You know, in that kind of "you-know-better-than-that" tone.
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Sarah*H
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Post by Sarah*H on Oct 16, 2014 15:34:13 GMT
I will ask again - is this boy neurotypical?
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If I was the friend sitting there I would have said, "why are you looking at your mom's butt?" 
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