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Post by LisaDV on Oct 29, 2019 16:12:39 GMT
Hmmmm, that's a tough one. Maybe something like "I'm sure you're not really as much of a bitch as you seem" ?? No? I really appreciate how supportive Kate was when I was injured a couple of weeks ago. Compliment? Or not? Perfectly double edged.
You are good!
It's team bonding. I wouldn't advise my daughter to undermine it with passive-aggressive, veiled comments in rebuttal to the other girl's bad behavior. Take the high road. Just give a bland universal compliment like, "She is a strong member of our team."
This is what I what advise my child! I'd enjoy the passive-aggressive or just aggressive comments by myself.
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Post by belgravia on Oct 29, 2019 17:30:40 GMT
A friend of mine once participated in one of these things and the nicest thing someone could think of about her was that she had “nice, long nail beds” which made me howl with laughter 😂
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,826
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Oct 29, 2019 17:40:06 GMT
There is always something nice to say about everyone. As the team captain, she probably has lots of little responsibilities, comment that she makes sure xyz is always handled.
Now is time to teach our younger generation to be kind, even when others are not always kind to us. Be the better person. Great teaching moment.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,562
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Oct 29, 2019 23:09:15 GMT
I appreciate knowing exactly what XYZ thinks about me.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 13:25:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2019 23:33:45 GMT
DD is supposed to go to a team bonding overnight this Sat. Supposedly they have a tradition of doing an affirmation circle. They all go around and say something nice about each other. There is one girl that DD cannot find anything nice to say about. This girl is a team captain. 2 weeks ago, DD had an injury that caused her to miss an event. She was able to go support the team but did not compete with them. Same girl was talking about DD, saying she was faking. After finding out about this, DD was mad and I am guessing a little hurt too. I am having a hard time coming up with something to help her. Any suggestions on what to say nice about someone when you can’t think of anything? Let your dd come up with 5 things that are good about this girl she can tell you. While passive aggressive might be fun, this excersize is about learning to not let your emotions completely color your view of some one else. As a nation we seem to have lost the ability to see the good sides of people we dislike. I can guarantee you, someone on the team is having an equally hard time finding something good to say about your dd. Does she really want to hear a passive agressive comment about herself, or does she really hope everyone can see something honestly worth affirming in her?
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Post by dewryce on Oct 29, 2019 23:51:54 GMT
It's team bonding. I wouldn't advise my daughter to undermine it with passive-aggressive, veiled comments in rebuttal to the other girl's bad behavior. Take the high road. Just give a bland universal compliment like, "She is a strong member of our team." I agree with this. And unless there is only 1 senior this year, something about this girl made her be chosen for captain. Surely she has a great technical ability related to being a cheerleader that can be pointed out? A gymnastic move, strong commanding voice that helps get the crowds involved, good dancing ability, choreography, high kick. She’s probably been doing this for at least 4 years, what are the odds she sucks at everything? And how certain is she that this occurred? Talking about your daughter behind her back, especially from a position of “power” is not okay and I think is best dealt with by being more upfront about it. Maybe it could be a learning moment to teach her to stand up for herself. Just finding a private moment with her and saying “I heard you thought I was faking my injury. If that is true I wanted you to know that it absolutely wasn’t the case. This team is important to me, I train hard and was very upset I couldn’t participate in the competition.” Standing up for herself without making an accusation. Depending on her level of confidence she might also be able to directly address her talking about her behind her back, but I know at that age it might be too much and could devolve into more of a fight. Being passive aggressive might feel good in the moment, but won’t help your daughter in the long run. I hope she has mended and is able to participate again!
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,674
Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Oct 30, 2019 0:06:04 GMT
Captain has been a dedicated/strong/dependable member of our team for the last x years. She is passionate about our team doing it's best.
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Post by mariemily on Oct 30, 2019 0:17:03 GMT
I appreciate knowing exactly what XYZ thinks about me. Or something along the same lines, such as "I appreciate that she does not hesitate to speak her mind". In the OP's daughter's case, it was a bad thing, but in other instances, it could be good.
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,652
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Nov 4, 2019 1:35:28 GMT
Bump for update.
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