muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861 
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Post by muggins on Dec 31, 2019 17:53:28 GMT
I was recently involved in an online sewing swap. I made a cute, intricate tree ornament and sent it in a nice reusable gift box with a Christmas card.
On Christmas Day, everyone involved was supposed to open their gift and post a photo on the FB group.
So, imagine my surprise when someone posted a photo of my handmade gift and tagged and thanked the person I had sent it to.
She must have opened my gift early and then regifted it to her assigned partner.
Lots of people made kind comments which she ‘liked’.
I haven’t said anything publicly, but it’s bothered me that she did that, knowing that it would be posted online.
Why sign up to be involved in a swap if you’re just going to regift it rather than make something?
I contemplated messaging her, but I haven’t yet.
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Post by elaine on Dec 31, 2019 18:05:42 GMT
I think that it stinks that you weren’t acknowledged and thanked for your work.
That said, I might contact the person you sent it to and ask what was up with the re-gifting?
As we have seen here with the card swap, sometimes people bite off more than they can chew at the holidays, or a medical emergency happened, or a death in the family, or something else that prevented your recipient from completing her gift to mail out.
She might have never had any intention of creating her own gift - in which case, you would be justifiably angry, or she might have a legitimate excuse that you want to extend her some grace and understanding about.
In any event, she should have let you know that she was sending on your gift and she should have let the recipient know it was your work, so you were credited.
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Post by shamrock on Dec 31, 2019 18:08:44 GMT
Oh that wasn’t nice of her at all! I know I’d want to say something. I don’t know that I would though. Did she post a photo of anything?
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,769
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Dec 31, 2019 18:10:17 GMT
So, are you going to look like you didn't do the swap if your person doesn't post a photo?
I'd say something, publicly. She is taking credit for something she didn't make and you're going to look like you didn't make anything. Do you want to continue being involved with this group for future swaps?
I'm guessing she is banking on you saying nothing, why 'like' all the comments without giving credit where it is due?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 21:05:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 18:13:26 GMT
I'm sorry that happened to you and honestly, that's beyond tacky of her to do!
Generally, I'm a polite and let stuff go type of person, but really this was wrong. I think you could make a post and call out that you made the ornament that "2nd recipient" received, which was originally gifted to "1st recipient". But in the spirit of the Holidays, you are glad that it was enjoyed and thanks for the compliments/kind words about the ornament you made. It doesn't have to be thrown in 1st recipient's face, but she is basically taking credit for your work! And you shouldn't have to contact her, she should have let you know if there were circumstances, etc. I would have certainly understood and let it go (but regardless she shouldn't take credit even if she contacted you before she re-gifted).
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 31, 2019 18:27:36 GMT
I think I would have to post something. As an artist and designer, I wouldn’t be able to just let that go while someone else took credit for my efforts. I would probably post something to the effect of, “Although I’m unsure of why you ended up with the project I made for the swap, I’m so glad you liked my work.” Since the end recipient tagged the regifter there’s no need to call her out further by name, I would just want credit where credit was due (and maybe somewhat for others to have a heads up about this person who flaked on the swap). And further, if the person who did the regifting did have some extenuating circumstances that prevented her from fully participating, why not just own that and say since she couldn’t fulfill her end of the bargain with the swap she decided to pass along what was sent to her by muggins? Doing that would at least be honest, and I’m sure Muggins and everyone else would be a lot more understanding. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Dec 31, 2019 18:28:09 GMT
That Bitch!
That’s really horrible. Especially to not acknowledge your role in the swap. I get that people are busy, but she is deliberately misrepresenting the work as hers. I would respond to the “likes” with a thanks and something about making it or working on it. I would also say something to the swap coordinator. That is really tacky and unacceptable behavior.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,509
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Post by ellen on Dec 31, 2019 18:37:52 GMT
I'd just ask what was up with the ornament you sent. I think what she did was super tacky and it's ok if you ask her about it
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Post by myshelly on Dec 31, 2019 18:52:33 GMT
I think I would have to post something. As an artist and designer, I wouldn’t be able to just let that go while someone else took credit for my efforts. I would probably post something to the effect of, “Although I’m unsure of why you ended up with the project I made for the swap, I’m so glad you liked my work.” Since the end recipient tagged the regifter there’s no need to call her out further by name, I would just want credit where credit was due (and maybe somewhat for others to have a heads up about this person who flaked on the swap). And further, if the person who did the regifting did have some extenuating circumstances that prevented her from fully participating, why not just own that and say since she couldn’t fulfill her end of the bargain with the swap she decided to pass along what was sent to her by muggins? Doing that would at least be honest, and I’m sure Muggins and everyone else would be a lot more understanding. 100% this. I was all set to come in here and say “you can’t control what someone does with a gift after you give it,” but taking credit for your work in a swap is completely different. I would post something. I would take credit for my work. |
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Post by snugglebutter on Dec 31, 2019 19:07:44 GMT
At the very least, you should contact the swap coordinator. Or contact the regifter and cc the coordinator.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,868
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Post by tracylynn on Dec 31, 2019 19:11:42 GMT
I would message the Admin of the Group - that would probably be the "mature" thing to do.
What I would really want to do is call her out on the FB page publicly, with picture proof (assuming you took pics before you sent it off).
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Post by deekaye on Dec 31, 2019 19:18:10 GMT
Even giving her the benefit of the doubt that she got swamped and couldn't complete her swap so decided to pass yours on... its pretty crappy not to acknowledge that it was your work and why she passed it on.
To take credit for your work is beyond tacky.
ETA: I would contact the tacky person with a cc to the Administrator. I wouldn't contact the gift recipient because she is an innocent party in this whole thing; no use making her feel bad or like she did something wrong.
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Post by disneypal on Dec 31, 2019 19:20:21 GMT
I am sorry - that would be upsetting to me too. I think I would send the person a private message and tell her that you saw another person had received the gift you made and you are sorry she didn't keep it since you made it specifically for her. I would be curious to see how she would respond.
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Post by AngieandSnoopy on Dec 31, 2019 19:31:07 GMT
I'm sorry but if I handmade something, I would be calling them out on Facebook that you thanked the wrong person and since I would have taken a picture of the item, I'd post it as proof! I'm sorry but lately, I've gotten to where I can't stand people taking credit for something they didn't do. I'd feel bad about upsetting the final recipient but the regifter should have said they didn't make it.
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 31, 2019 19:32:59 GMT
So, are you going to look like you didn't do the swap if your person doesn't post a photo? I'd say something, publicly. She is taking credit for something she didn't make and you're going to look like you didn't make anything. Do you want to continue being involved with this group for future swaps? I'm guessing she is banking on you saying nothing, why 'like' all the comments without giving credit where it is due? Ditto for me ! This is completely wrong ! If she at least credited you I would have been ok with that. I know what she did is not illegal, but it’s similar in my mind to playgiarism. People in the group need to know what kind of person they are dealing with. |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 31, 2019 19:38:14 GMT
What a rude, tacky thing to do! I would be angry and I give you credit for not calling her out publicly. I would probably contact the recipient and then the coordinator to explain the situation. At least someone will be on notice about this, even if Plagirist McTackyPants never gives you credit.
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Post by summer on Dec 31, 2019 19:48:16 GMT
I'd have to publicly comment saying "You somehow ended up with the gift I made for so and so. I'm glad you are enjoying my ornament."
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 21:05:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 19:51:38 GMT
Message the regifter, give her a day to come clean. If she doesn’t , then contact the group organizer.
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Post by femalebusiness on Dec 31, 2019 19:54:07 GMT
Tag the recipient and publicly say how thrilled you are that she liked the gift that you made as the person you sent it to obviously didn't, seeing that she passed it on.
This is one of those instances that if you don't publicly expose her it will haunt you for years for not speaking up.
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Post by dewryce on Dec 31, 2019 20:02:38 GMT
I can appreciate that someone might be having a hard time and just didn’t/couldn’t get their part of the swamp done. And had she not publicly taken credit for it I would probably have handled the situation privately. But she did, multiple times so you know the like wasn’t an accident. And for me, that’s where it goes from possibly unfortunate but understandable circumstances to unacceptable. As a group member I would want to know and would appreciate being told. I’m very sorry that happened to you.
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
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Post by scrappington on Dec 31, 2019 20:06:36 GMT
Contact coordinator for sure. And private message your swap person. Nothing like putting them on the spot.
Also definitely can contact coordinator so your marked as not sending.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,947
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Dec 31, 2019 20:11:51 GMT
I would contact the swap organizer/administrator. That is not okay. I'm so sick of hearing about people doing this.
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Post by peasapie on Dec 31, 2019 20:30:34 GMT
So either she liked your gift better than her own or never actually did her own and used yours for the swap instead. Either way it stinks. I agree you should contact swap coordinator. That person shouldn't be included in future swaps.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 21:05:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 20:31:02 GMT
I would have to say something. Was it a swap between two names or a list that A swap with B and B swaps with C kind of thing. Either way I don’t see how she was thinking she could get away with doing what she has done being that everyone was going to post pictures. So no one is going to post a picture of anything from you? That makes it look as if it was you that didn’t send anything..... no way would I let everyone on the list think that.
I would post and explain what has happened so all can see that you kept your side of the swap and also message the person that organised the swap.
If she wasn’t able to make something in time, which happens to all of us at times, she could have bought a small sewing themed gift and included a note to explain.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Dec 31, 2019 20:37:35 GMT
Since you asked WWTPD here is what I would do and I don't like passive aggressiveness. I make a lot of ornaments for gifts. I also take pictures before I give them out.
I would of played innocent, I would of posted under her post with a picture saying " WOW Jane I made the exact same ornament/pattern for Mary that she made for you". I guess we all have the same taste.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 21:05:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 20:42:52 GMT
I'd comment, "Love it! I made an identical one and gifted it to XYZ. Hope she liked it as much as you do.". 😁
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tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,423
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Post by tanya2 on Dec 31, 2019 20:48:04 GMT
I think I would have to post something. As an artist and designer, I wouldn’t be able to just let that go while someone else took credit for my efforts. I would probably post something to the effect of, “Although I’m unsure of why you ended up with the project I made for the swap, I’m so glad you liked my work.” Since the end recipient tagged the regifter there’s no need to call her out further by name, I would just want credit where credit was due (and maybe somewhat for others to have a heads up about this person who flaked on the swap). And further, if the person who did the regifting did have some extenuating circumstances that prevented her from fully participating, why not just own that and say since she couldn’t fulfill her end of the bargain with the swap she decided to pass along what was sent to her by muggins ? Doing that would at least be honest, and I’m sure Muggins and everyone else would be a lot more understanding. 100% this. And I would be notifying the swap coordinator that this happened. What a bitch! |
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Post by Lexica on Dec 31, 2019 20:57:15 GMT
Before calling her out to the whole group, I would message her privately to see what happened. As several people have mentioned, she may have a good reason for being unable to complete her project. That being said, she should have owned up to it though. And as the designer of the ornament sent to her, I would encourage her to do that. It sounds like you spent a lot of time on this and deserve the credit for doing so. Try working directly with her first before letting the swap coordinator know what happened.
Can you post a picture of what you made so that we can acknowledge your hard work here?
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Post by christine58 on Dec 31, 2019 21:23:46 GMT
Oh I’d for sure say something. That’s awful.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Dec 31, 2019 21:30:04 GMT
"I'm glad you like it! I actually designed and created that ornament. Glad it found a happy home!"
You're polite, but still call out the swapper.
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