seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,430
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jan 12, 2020 23:20:15 GMT
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jan 12, 2020 23:23:41 GMT
I’m already tired of parents telling me what to give their kids!! I hate this trend. How about we learn some gratitude and let people gift as they please?
My kids receive stuff we don’t want/use/like/have room for and we decide what to do with it.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 12, 2020 23:23:54 GMT
I think it sucks for younger kids and is too little for the big ones.
Young kids often want the excitement of opening the gift and the immediate gratification that comes with it. They don't want to save for something big.
Older kids often get cash anyway, but around here it is $10-$20 not just $5.
Finally you do have parents who would take the money and either not give it to the kid or force them to spend it on something they don't want to. That seems no fun.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 12, 2020 23:26:51 GMT
It is a good thing the party is for the mom then. Smh. It irritates me that people pull the fun out of childhood.
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Post by librarylady on Jan 12, 2020 23:28:42 GMT
Yes, let's cut out the problem with messy refreshments also!
I'll eat the cake and drink the punch and tell you it tasted good. Then you and your kid stay home, we'll play the games for you and you won't have to even get dressed and come over!
(eye roll)
Good grief, WTH?
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
Jul 2, 2014 22:14:02 GMT
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Post by trollie on Jan 12, 2020 23:30:36 GMT
I'm onboard. No looking for a gift. $5 is easy peasy lemon squeezy.
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Post by mom2kbs on Jan 12, 2020 23:53:50 GMT
How about ten and call it good
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Post by pierkiss on Jan 12, 2020 23:54:27 GMT
I think it’s fine. I’m not going to do it for my kids parties though. I would feel very strange telling the parents what they have to give my kid for their birthday. I do not dictate gifts to people. If asked I will give general ideas. But not concrete ones for friends of my kid.
Also, my kids like seeing what their friends think they will love. And the kids are usually really excited to see my kids reaction when they open (when we do party openings-I don’t do them all the time). And I know my kids enjoy picking something out for their friends.
But I do not have a problem with this idea. I might raise an eyebrow if we got this on an invite in the future, but that’s because of the whole “dictating what you will give my kid thing.”
I hope that makes sense!
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Post by chaosisapony on Jan 12, 2020 23:58:05 GMT
A friend of mine just did this for her kid's first birthday last year. I see both sides of it. In her particular circumstance she liked the idea because they live in a very small (600 sq ft) house and don't have room for tons and tons of toys. Her son would be too little to get the enjoyment out of opening a bunch of gifts so she thought this way they would have money to get him one bigger thing he would enjoy that wouldn't take up as much space and would be a nicer item than they would normally budget for.
She asked all of her close friends what we though and we were pretty evenly split. Personally, being told what to give in any capacity rubs me the wrong way. I really don't even care for gift registries.
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Post by wezee on Jan 13, 2020 0:39:38 GMT
No not a fan. If you are inclined to give $5 why not just for go the gift all together? Is the party given just for the gifts given? As a parent if you are annoyed of having to go to the store pick something out & wrapping said gift you are missing the whole point. I look at it as helping your child in choosing a gift that they feel that their friend will like. It provides your child to think about the other child. What will give the other person happiness? You are spending time with your child & teaching them about giving. I don't think it's a bad thing for them to help "pay" for the gift. That teaches them about the value of money.
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Post by Merge on Jan 13, 2020 0:53:51 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only.
My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids.
Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jan 13, 2020 1:09:31 GMT
I wish my DH's grandkids' parents would jump on this bandwagon. The only time he sees the grandkids are for birthday parties, he is never invited for anything else. So every occasion he sees his grandkids is preceded by hours of walking around stores, wondering what they might like, do they already have this, etc. It makes attending the party a stressful event for him.
I try to talk him into a gift card every time, but the other grandparents, who are included in the grandkids regular lives, all bring gifts, so he feels pressured to bring a gift that measures up to what the other grandparents have brought to other parties.
And he has 5 grandkids, so multiply this stress by 5 times per year, and a fiver party looks pretty damn good to me.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,430
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jan 13, 2020 1:11:21 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only. My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids. Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone.YES! We're doing mostly family only parties. I am TOTALLY down with that!
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Post by LisaDV on Jan 13, 2020 1:26:32 GMT
As a mom, I get the appeal. Completely. As a mom with a budget, I applaud the idea as you don’t have one present standing out above others. However, isn’t it also about teaching your child about the joys of giving, and all it entails - the going to pick out the presents, the care of choice, wrapping them, and giving them. And as the birthday kid, it’s about teaching gratitude for what they were given. These ideas may still be impress on an older child with a 5er party, but I feel that would be lost on a younger one just learning about giving and receiving.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 13, 2020 1:48:44 GMT
Her son would be too little to get the enjoyment out of opening a bunch of gifts Then why even give a gift?
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 13, 2020 1:50:28 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only. My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids. Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone. We threw one nice party when ours turned five. After that, they invited a kid or two over on some of their birthdays to go to a movie or laser tag. No gifts. Just a fun activity that we often did other times of the year. My kids didn't get to miss school or go somewhere big. We saved that for the 21st birthday and took them to Vegas. Since mine didn't have big parties they also didn't like going to big parties either. I think I really lucked out. We kept most of it as immediate family. I just think that some parents like to throw parties. Some don't. Each parent should do what they think is right. The fiver party actually sounds perfect to me if you have to have a party.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 13, 2020 1:50:37 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only. My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids. Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone. Benefits of small town living = even when we invited all of the boy's friends, there was never potential for more than 10-15 including relatives Of course, we did the big family party since there are lot of family members, but both boys' birthdays are in the summer and we combined them so it was a family get together (potluck style often) that just happened to include presents and cake.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jan 13, 2020 1:51:04 GMT
I won't give cash to younger kids anymore.
A family member would confiscate the money, and have the kids buy what she wanted them to get. Usually new coat or new bed sheets or new shoes for School. I (and other family members) switched to gift cards for treat or fun type stuff. Ice cream, doughnuts, movie theater, skating rink, jumping gym place, etc..
I gave cash for graduation and it was immediately taken by Parent >> this can go to college books. Grrr!
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jan 13, 2020 1:53:51 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only. My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids. Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone. I always had parties every year growing up and can’t imagine not doing so!
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Post by myboysnme on Jan 13, 2020 2:48:09 GMT
I recently went to an event with a Christmas gift swap. Bring a gift, get a gift. One lady put $10 in n envelope and called it good. We were not impressed. It was voluntary to participate and putting $10 in an envelope was not participating. However I took the cash because I knew what it was. Then I gave the cash to my friend who got a gift I could use and she couldn't.
So cash can be the perfect gift, except when it isn't. That $10 she put in an envelope showed she didn't want to make any effort. That's how I feel about fiver parties. I want to have a party for my child, but I don't feel like dealing with your gift choices and want what I want, so just bring cash.
I think it has become so sad that we dictate what gifts people bring, how much they should cost, and just want to have control over what other people do. Forget the $5 so my kid can go buy what they really want. I would say bring a book and then donate them to a preschool or something if I just didn't want them or already have them. If I tell my child he is having a book party then it is on me to go get the gift they 'really want,' not their guests.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jan 13, 2020 3:17:33 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only. My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids. Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone. I always had parties every year growing up and can’t imagine not doing so! Maybe it has to do with your childhood experience then, because I only had one birthday party that involved anyone other than immediate family when i was growing up, and cant imagine going through all the stress and expense of planning and throwing and cleaning up after yearly parties, especially if multiple children were involved. Not to mention the problem of where do all these presents fit into a child's room. Another reason I am happy to not have children.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 13, 2020 3:31:33 GMT
I always had parties every year growing up and can’t imagine not doing so! Maybe it has to do with your childhood experience then, because I only had one birthday party that involved anyone other than immediate family when i was growing up, and cant imagine going through all the stress and expense of planning and throwing and cleaning up after yearly parties, especially if multiple children were involved. Not to mention the problem of where do all these presents fit into a child's room. Another reason I am happy to not have children. It just shows that our feelings about perception on things is guided by our experiences. I had parties many years. I don't remember them all. My kids alternated between a decent sized party (15 or less usually) for their friends at the bowling alley, pool, Chuck E Cheese, or other places and doing something with them (local fair/carnival) or doing something more expensive (Rockies game or Water World). I never felt any stress about throwing any of these parties. Nor have I ever stressed over a gift. I've left it up to my kid to choose a gift for their friend. They know the friend better. If needed, I would text the parent. We have give $20 in a card as the kids have hit their teens.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jan 13, 2020 4:10:24 GMT
Maybe it has to do with your childhood experience then, because I only had one birthday party that involved anyone other than immediate family when i was growing up, and cant imagine going through all the stress and expense of planning and throwing and cleaning up after yearly parties, especially if multiple children were involved. Not to mention the problem of where do all these presents fit into a child's room. Another reason I am happy to not have children. It just shows that our feelings about perception on things is guided by our experiences. I had parties many years. I don't remember them all. My kids alternated between a decent sized party (15 or less usually) for their friends at the bowling alley, pool, Chuck E Cheese, or other places and doing something with them (local fair/carnival) or doing something more expensive (Rockies game or Water World). I never felt any stress about throwing any of these parties. Nor have I ever stressed over a gift. I've left it up to my kid to choose a gift for their friend. They know the friend better. If needed, I would text the parent. We have give $20 in a card as the kids have hit their teens. Given the party planning threads I have seen here, if you never felt any stress about expense, menus, guest lists, scheduling, goody bags, themes or thank yous, then you are lucky.
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Post by snugglebutter on Jan 13, 2020 4:18:16 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only. My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids. Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone. I totally agree and that's kind of what we do for our kids, but man there are a few family members and friends who are pretty judgy about it. I'm thinking that not having a huge birthday party for my 2 year old is a gift to everyone I know.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 13, 2020 4:25:22 GMT
I think this might have been mentioned on here before because I remember reading about it a while ago. I would go along with it if another family wanted to do it but I would have a hard time putting that on invites for my own kid even though it would definitely be easier. I don’t like dictating to other people what they should do.
But you know what’s even easier than that? Not hosting a big party with a bunch of kids invited. We’ve done the big parties at a venue with a dozen kids ($$$) and we’ve done little parties at home with a few friends ($$). Our kid and her guests have had a great time with both kinds of parties. The difference was that instead of us spending a bunch of our money on the party itself (which results in a bunch of $15-20 Target gifts from the invited kids and less expensive gifts from us), we spent a little on a lower key party at home and bought her better gifts ourselves that we knew she would actually use. She said she prefers the smaller parties with only her closest friends anyway because she’s kind of an introvert and she sort of gets stressed out by all the noise and chaos of having a big party with bunch of rowdy kids.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 13, 2020 4:44:31 GMT
How about we stop the trend of every child having a birthday party every year? When I was growing up, parties were something that happened maybe a couple of times during your growing up years. The other years, you had a small celebration and cake with family only. My kids were both anxious about parties and TBH we’ve only had a few, and they were always small - just a few close friends. I understand that’s not everyone’s reality, but dang - I also got very tired of spending dozens of weekends every year managing party attendance and gift purchases for other people’s kids. Fewer parties means less concern about gifts, and personally, I think that’s better for everyone. I always had parties every year growing up and can’t imagine not doing so! We always had a “party” but it was a family party with just my parents, siblings (7 of them) and two close aunts and an uncle. They came for dinner, we had cake and got a few presents. The only “friend” party I ever had as a kid happened because one year I told a bunch of kids in my class that it was my birthday and they should come over after school for cake. My poor mother was horrified and had to serve the cake she made for our family to the kids who showed up! I had one other friend party as a teenager but I paid for it myself.
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flatfish
Full Member
Posts: 158
May 26, 2019 3:17:27 GMT
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Post by flatfish on Jan 13, 2020 6:24:06 GMT
A good friend has a very big birthday party for her kids every year. At the end of the party they take all the gifts to a local children’s charity or shelter. Then the parents take their kids shopping for one gift they would like.
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Post by psoccer on Jan 13, 2020 6:35:01 GMT
My kids always had small parties, like 3-5 friends, and I tried to do it on alternate years. Some of their friends had huge parties,and I would be so down with the 5 dollars for those parties, but most had the small group parties. I remember going to Target, with my kids, and having them pick out a present for their friends. They really put a lot of thought into what they wanted their friend to have. I am sure there is some sort of life lesson in selecting gifts within a budget and thinking of others.
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Post by lucyg on Jan 13, 2020 7:43:09 GMT
I wish it had occurred to me years ago (decades ago) that it isn’t necessary to give a kid a full-on birthday party every year. Honestly, I just thought it was a given. Stupid kid parties!
Anyway, pain in the ass that kid’s parties are, and knowing how most of our kids don’t need a damn thing anyway, I would not want to tell people what kind of gift to bring.
At the 10yo’s last birthday party, I think he mostly got cash or gift cards, with one or two actual physical gifts. His dad has been organizing the gift buying when he attends a party the last couple of years, so I’m not sure what they’ve been getting, but I think it’s some kind of gift cards. Amazon, Target, or video gaming.
When I say “birthday party,” I’m referring to kid parties only. Family parties are different.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 21:43:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2020 14:37:47 GMT
I think it's a great idea, the kids are still being celebrated with a party but hopefully it's a means to cutting down on the useless crap that people are buying.
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