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Jun 2, 2024 17:39:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2020 21:23:55 GMT
Stayed alone each time I have been hospitalized. I work in a hospital. I don't think it's necessary for someone to stay with a patient, unless the pt is confused, and can't talk up for themselves. There just isn't room in most hospital rooms for others to stay over, if not needed. Plus you really do NOT get good rest in a hospital. Have them stay home and rest up until you go home and ready to help then. What exactly was the need for them to stay? Esp with an alert adult? I am an alert adult, and i could have had someone with me. I couldn’t go to the bathroom by myself, because of the Iv and the wound on my foot. Asking for help didn’t actually get me any help. My Iv wasn’t started on time nor was it stopped anywhere near to stop time. Twice the nurse never did take it until it was time for the next one. One nurse ever got pissed off with me because I wanted to take a shower. She told me to just take one. Um can’t get my foot wet and I am hooked up to an iv that I can’t get wet. As I mentioned before, they didn’t even change my bed, and expected me to do it. The hospital bill alone was $30,000. No help and no food( because of my fish allergy, I couldnt eat anything off the menu, but cereal. ) Everybody needs a person these days.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 10, 2020 21:25:01 GMT
I think every situation is different. I have been extremely fortunate that my only hospital stays were with the births of my children and the hospital had a great birthing center that had a bed for a guest. With extended family, it's really varied. During one of my mom's knee replacements the nurses were striking, so they were extremely short staffed. I honestly could not leave her as it was a mess. But for other procedures, I've been there during the critical times when they might really need an advocate, but leave if they're stable. With long hospital stays, it can be challenging. I have a big, big family so that also helps.
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Feb 10, 2020 21:26:50 GMT
I've only been in the hospital after giving birth and only had visitors, hubby stayed late the first day but never overnight and in the following days was either back at work or at home looking after the other kids.
After I had Spencer I really wish I had someone with me because he was taken by ambulance with in a hour of being born and us having him baptized while in the NICU to a hospital across the city for surgery.
It was really tough because I got moved to a room with a new mom who had lots of visitors and her baby I was so sad and at the same time so worried and anxious for Spencer but I'm so glad my husband was with him.
I'm glad you had someone with you I'm sure you were scared and glad to have support.
I am a strong believer in loved ones having a advocate with them while in hospital if possible sometimes they can be the difference between a stay with few hiccups and a stay that gets prolonged because there wasn't a advocate for them.
I can't even count how many times I caught things with Spencer's health crisis.
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Post by papersilly on Feb 10, 2020 21:33:46 GMT
not everyone has the luxury of having a someone stay with them 24/7. we have to advocate for ourselves or have a family member touch base with the medical staff as often as possible.
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Feb 10, 2020 21:38:57 GMT
I was in the hospital for 10 days in November 2018, 7 of those in ICU. My husband and boys would come in the morning and stay until around lunch time. Then ODS would stay with me and DH would take the youngest into work for a little bit, just to get him out of the hospital. They would only be gone an hour or so. Then come back until around 7 or so in the evening. He always took the boys home at night and I stayed by myself. I was asleep most of the time anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. If my doctors would be in before DH got there in the morning they would actually call him and explain what was going on and he had their numbers if he had any questions. My disease is super rare, so they gave him their direct cell phone numbers in case he needed to ask any important questions.
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Post by lily on Feb 10, 2020 21:45:44 GMT
I had surgery at the end of 2018 and again at the beginning of 2019 and was hospitalized 3 days each time. My husband was with me for a portion of the day; he would come in the morning and then around lunchtime leave and then come back in the evening. He never stayed all night with me though.
When I delivered our babies back in the 1980's he never stayed either. It was not even an option then. The hospital had 'wards' - a huge room where between 4 and 8 new mom's had beds with just curtains around them. Bathroom was down the hall!
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 10, 2020 21:52:43 GMT
I am an alert adult, and i could have had someone with me. I couldn’t go to the bathroom by myself, because of the Iv and the wound on my foot. Asking for help didn’t actually get me any help. My Iv wasn’t started on time nor was it stopped anywhere near to stop time. Twice the nurse never did take it until it was time for the next one. One nurse ever got pissed off with me because I wanted to take a shower. She told me to just take one. Um can’t get my foot wet and I am hooked up to an iv that I can’t get wet. As I mentioned before, they didn’t even change my bed, and expected me to do it. The hospital bill alone was $30,000. No help and no food( because of my fish allergy, I couldnt eat anything off the menu, but cereal. ) Everybody needs a person these days. I'm sorry that happened with you! It sounds like a lot of miscommunication, or lack of. Were you non-wt bearing on your foot? Also, there had to be many many things on the hospital menu besides fish and cereal?! Either way, the nurses should have worked with you on those things to figure something out!
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 17:39:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2020 21:57:05 GMT
Having a baby is a whole different situation. I was treated like a queen! I received to much attention, didn’t want for anything and had 3 people helping me out of bed and to the bathroom. Special meals and my own nurse. From what I have heard that service has gotten even better.
Everybody likes babies and birth is a huge money maker for hospitals
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 17:39:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2020 22:07:14 GMT
@cindymba
I am in fear of cross contamination, the hospital is heart healthy so fish is everywhere. And there is only one huge kitchen. And believe me there was no vegan options, except for peanut butter.
My husband brought me food ( and Starbucks).
We don’t eat out a lot either, because more and more restaurants are sneaking anchovies into sauces or Worcestershire sauce
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akkaren
Junior Member
Posts: 75
Jul 16, 2014 5:09:00 GMT
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Post by akkaren on Feb 10, 2020 22:09:56 GMT
I'm realizing I'm the exception and not the rule! It got me thinking about how this "trend" started in our family and I think it goes back to when my grandfather had cancer in the mid 70s and was frequently hospitalized. There were a number of incidents that were concerning to my mother and grandmother, not the least of which was food poisoning from the cafeteria! In my case I was 100s of miles from home and DH would have been in a hotel if he were not with me, although my sister did stay at night in one.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 10, 2020 22:12:16 GMT
The only overnight hospital stay I had was when I had my DD and DH went home at night for the five days I was in. (He stayed the one night I went in, when I was in labor but that was it.) He wouldn’t have gotten any sleep without his CPAP and we had pets at home that needed care. We don’t have the luxury of anyone available to be able to stay with either one of us overnight. We have a friend who has taken months upon months of family leave to stay day and night at the hospital with various family members when they have been hospitalized with something serious (her dad and her brother on separate occasions). Both DH and I think that’s kind of overkill. It's a good thing this person isn't asking you or your DH to take what you consider too much time off to attend to their own family issue. My mom was hospitalized several times before her death. The first long hospitalization was nearly 70 days. She had sepsis and was in critical condition for several days. She was also blind. We were HAPPY to stay with her and did not consider it an imposition. She needed an advocate and we figured it out. My mom was never alone. She had three other long hospitalizations and someone from my family was with her every day and night. We took shifts. I had a young son and was pregnant at the end of my mother's life, but I don't know. I guess I wanted to hold my mom's hand even if she was too sick to know I was there. Also, there was the very real concern that she would die during these hospitalizations. I cannot imagine NOT wanting to be with a family member who is hospitalized and very ill. I get that it isn't an option for everyone, but what I don't understand is the judgment of people who choose to be there for their sick family members. I guess what one family sees as caring, others judge as "overkill". I guess I’m a little judgey because it put her own family in a real financial bind. I don’t know what the deal was with her dad because that was decades ago, but with her brother I think it was a lot for her (and by extension her DH) to take on. There were multiple other family members who were also going to visit often (brother’s wife, their mom, some cousins, some friends, friend’s DH, etc.) so it wasn’t like her brother didn’t have any visitors or was needing another advocate. He wasn’t terminal but had a lengthy hospital stay. It was detrimental to our friend’s nuclear family to take that much unpaid time off, and it’s biting her in the butt now because she herself currently has some serious health problems. Her own DH now can’t financially afford to take any time off work for her, and her brother sure isn’t using any of his time off for her (they work for the same corporation). I can understand it if someone is terminally ill and likely to pass away at any given moment. I can understand it if the person is unable to advocate for themselves, such as a child or elderly person. I can understand it too if it’s your own spouse or your kid. I guess what I’m saying is if it was me, I wouldn’t expect any of my siblings or any of my friends to nearly bankrupt themselves just to hang out with me in the hospital 24/7.
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Post by gorgeouskid on Feb 10, 2020 22:25:07 GMT
I had a c-section and DH had an interview early the morning after, so I sent him home to sleep. I don't recall if he slept over the other nights, though probably not.
I have had several other hospitalizations, and while he spent most of the days there, he didn't spend the night because he had to care for DS.
My mother just had surgery, and was disappointed that I wouldn't spend the night with her at the hospital. I had the excuse that I had to feed her cats, but it was really because I wouldn't have been able to sleep on the miserable couch in her room.
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 10, 2020 22:32:51 GMT
The only overnight hospital stay I had was when I had my DD and DH went home at night for the five days I was in. (He stayed the one night I went in, when I was in labor but that was it.) He wouldn’t have gotten any sleep without his CPAP and we had pets at home that needed care. We don’t have the luxury of anyone available to be able to stay with either one of us overnight. We have a friend who has taken months upon months of family leave to stay day and night at the hospital with various family members when they have been hospitalized with something serious (her dad and her brother on separate occasions). Both DH and I think that’s kind of overkill. It's a good thing this person isn't asking you or your DH to take what you consider too much time off to attend to their own family issue. My mom was hospitalized several times before her death. The first long hospitalization was nearly 70 days. She had sepsis and was in critical condition for several days. She was also blind. We were HAPPY to stay with her and did not consider it an imposition. She needed an advocate and we figured it out. My mom was never alone. She had three other long hospitalizations and someone from my family was with her every day and night. We took shifts. I had a young son and was pregnant at the end of my mother's life, but I don't know. I guess I wanted to hold my mom's hand even if she was too sick to know I was there. Also, there was the very real concern that she would die during these hospitalizations. I cannot imagine NOT wanting to be with a family member who is hospitalized and very ill. I get that it isn't an option for everyone, but what I don't understand is the judgment of people who choose to be there for their sick family members. I guess what one family sees as caring, others judge as "overkill". I think most of the answers were just general overnight procedures.. I am sure, like myself, if my mother or husband or child was dying, we would not leave their side. I think that is pretty much a given. No need to be snarky.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Feb 10, 2020 22:32:56 GMT
It's funny - I don't think I need someone with me during hospital stays (granted, other than children, I've only been in the hospital once - for gallbladder removal) and my husband isn't the type to sleep overnight, but my dad has a thing about this. The second I called him and my stepmom to tell them I was hospitalized for my gallbladder, they were in the car. They sat in my room all day, asking every nurse and doctor that came in about my vitals, about what was going on etc... I don't know if it's a thing older people do or a thing fathers do or a thing he does, but he felt very firmly I shouldn't be alone.
It's likely the third option - this is the guy who chased down the hospital photographer after my oldest dd was born to show him some ID and make sure she wasn't being snatched, lol.
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 10, 2020 22:36:55 GMT
I spent a year in the hospital after a bad accident, I was hit by a bus. For the first few weeks of touch and go, DH was there like 24/7. once I was more stable, he would go home a little, but he had to get back to working. I didn't see my kids for 3 months, they could not visit the burn unit, as they were too little. He would work out a schedule with my parents, and his parents so that someone was visiting me every day. Weekends were the worst. I had no PT or OT, and the days just dragged on... Oh my goodness how horrible... no doubt your husband was with you.. I can't even imagine..
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Post by KikiPea on Feb 10, 2020 22:57:30 GMT
I’ve never been in the hospital overnight, but when my grandmother and aunt have been, my mom stayed(s) with them almost 24/7.
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edie3
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,498
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Feb 10, 2020 23:09:29 GMT
I think you should have someone there, if you are not able to do much for yourself, or are older. Sometimes it is really hard to get someone to help you. Saw that happen with my father several times, enough so that he said he would never go back into the hospital. There is usually not enough staff to do all that needs to be done.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
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Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Feb 10, 2020 23:22:54 GMT
I was in the hospital for 3 weeks in the ICU. My family was there the day of my surgery then the next day, although no one stayed all night. After that I was alone a lot of the time. I was in a hospital 100 miles from home, so family dropped in as they could. My DH would come for a short while after work, then he needed to get home to our son.
I don’t remember needing anything that I needed help with. The nurse was always close by. Also, I felt so bad I just wanted to sleep and didn’t have much energy to visit. I was fine being alone.
I do remember my sister in law wanted to stay at the house to care for me when I got home. That was the absolute last thing in the world I wanted. I didn’t want anyone fussing around me.
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Post by librarylady on Feb 10, 2020 23:29:04 GMT
In my family (extended, I guess I could say--siblings and their children)--if the patient is very, very ill then a family member stays. If not, the visitors go home.
I did stay with my mother after she had memory issues and was often confused...she was not that ill (recovering from surgery) but one of us stayed because of her confusion.
I, fortunately, have never been ill enough to require someone to stay with me.
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Post by myboysnme on Feb 10, 2020 23:32:20 GMT
The talk about hospital stays has me thinking. Recently I spent a week in the hospital following surgery. My husband stayed with me and my sister flew in from Boston as well. While it was serious and I was in ICU for five days following a medavac it never occurred to me that I would be alone. As was pointed out, nurses are short-staffed and you need an advocate. So my question is: do you stay alone at the hospital or does someone stay with you? I have always had someone with me, even at night. Even when I had my babies someone stayed with me. I do not have anyone with me and do not want anyone. I go in for surgery and give them DH's phone number. He and my sons come by sometime after surgery to bring me whatever I need. When I go in for the procedure they ask if anyone is waiting and I tell them nope. I love to just sleep and rest and relax and heal. I don't want anyone I have to listen to, talk to, listen to the TV when I don't want to because my family member is watching, ... you get the point. I have had breast surgery, gall bladder out, 2 kidney surgeries, bariatric surgery and esophogeal surgery, and a cardiac catheterization. No one was there during the procedure. DH or DS1 came to pick me up for the 1 day surgeries.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,184
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Feb 10, 2020 23:49:57 GMT
I’ve had numerous inpatient stays over the years and I have never had anyone stay with me. It’s never occurred to me that someone might want to! My DD was in and out of hospital constantly in her teens, and I stayed a couple of times when she was moved to acute wards following serious suicide attempts (she was usually in psych wards.) Her first admission lasted 11 months, and was in a specialist adolescent psychiatric ward. They were very strict about visiting so even if I’d wanted to, it wouldn’t have been allowed. And I certainly didn’t want to, even visiting her was very hard work.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 10, 2020 23:50:47 GMT
Two babies and one hysterectomy. I stayed by myself. I am also pretty independent and would not have wanted anyone to stay with me. I hate hospitals and wouldn't want someone staying with me unless is was absolutely necessary.
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 17:39:10 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2020 0:12:30 GMT
I never in million years would have said that I would have needed someone to stay with me.
You never know what is going to happen. It’s good to have someone back you up.
Who would think that I would be the to move my 6 foot 4 inch 210 pound husband to the bathroom, and be the one to measure his urine output. I had to clean his drain and text that info to the doctor.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,677
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Feb 11, 2020 0:25:53 GMT
In my family, if someone is sick enough to be in the hospital, somebody stays with them.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,885
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Feb 11, 2020 0:29:35 GMT
If it's a life or death situation, I can totally understand family being at the hospital all night.
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Post by myboysnme on Feb 11, 2020 1:03:12 GMT
I guess I’m a little judgey because it put her own family in a real financial bind. I agree with you! I tend to be very judgy about people who think they have to have someone or be with someone in the hospital. Some months ago I posted about a friend who was totally out of leave because she sat with her husband 24/7 and when he came home when stayed home to care for him, used all her leave, went on leave without pay, and the solution was for her to go to work! But in her family they sit vigil right there all day and night. My sister is someone who thinks the entire family needs to converge upon the hospital room and take turns switching from the waiting room to the sick room. My head explodes just imagining me wanting that.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 11, 2020 1:32:05 GMT
The talk about hospital stays has me thinking. Recently I spent a week in the hospital following surgery. My husband stayed with me and my sister flew in from Boston as well. While it was serious and I was in ICU for five days following a medavac it never occurred to me that I would be alone. As was pointed out, nurses are short-staffed and you need an advocate. So my question is: do you stay alone at the hospital or does someone stay with you? I have always had someone with me, even at night. Even when I had my babies someone stayed with me. I do not have anyone with me and do not want anyone. I go in for surgery and give them DH's phone number. He and my sons come by sometime after surgery to bring me whatever I need. When I go in for the procedure they ask if anyone is waiting and I tell them nope. I love to just sleep and rest and relax and heal. I don't want anyone I have to listen to, talk to, listen to the TV when I don't want to because my family member is watching, ... you get the point. I have had breast surgery, gall bladder out, 2 kidney surgeries, bariatric surgery and esophogeal surgery, and a cardiac catheterization. No one was there during the procedure. DH or DS1 came to pick me up for the 1 day surgeries. To all of the above. When I had my kid DH came during the day to help out with DD but he went home at dinner time. When I’ve had day surgeries, he dropped me off and came back to get me when I was done and ready to go home. I figure why should he sit there in their crappy vinyl chairs and be uncomfortable and bored for hours when he could be more comfortable at home and just come back for me? They call to let him know I’m in recovery and by the time he gets back there I’m finally coming back around. Just because I’m miserable doesn’t mean everybody has to be.
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Post by peasapie on Feb 11, 2020 1:32:38 GMT
The only overnight hospital stay I had was when I had my DD and DH went home at night for the five days I was in. (He stayed the one night I went in, when I was in labor but that was it.) He wouldn’t have gotten any sleep without his CPAP and we had pets at home that needed care. We don’t have the luxury of anyone available to be able to stay with either one of us overnight. We have a friend who has taken months upon months of family leave to stay day and night at the hospital with various family members when they have been hospitalized with something serious (her dad and her brother on separate occasions). Both DH and I think that’s kind of overkill. It's a good thing this person isn't asking you or your DH to take what you consider too much time off to attend to their own family issue. My mom was hospitalized several times before her death. The first long hospitalization was nearly 70 days. She had sepsis and was in critical condition for several days. She was also blind. We were HAPPY to stay with her and did not consider it an imposition. She needed an advocate and we figured it out. My mom was never alone. She had three other long hospitalizations and someone from my family was with her every day and night. We took shifts. I had a young son and was pregnant at the end of my mother's life, but I don't know. I guess I wanted to hold my mom's hand even if she was too sick to know I was there. Also, there was the very real concern that she would die during these hospitalizations. I cannot imagine NOT wanting to be with a family member who is hospitalized and very ill. I get that it isn't an option for everyone, but what I don't understand is the judgment of people who choose to be there for their sick family members. I guess what one family sees as caring, others judge as "overkill". I think it's very different when we are talking about an older (or younger) family member, versus an adult who can think and speak for themselves. Of course when each of my parents were in their final weeks and months, someone was almost always with them. You almost have to be because someone needs to communicate with doctors in order to make decisions and help out with feeding, etc. However, when I or siblings had surgery, we were mostly on our own.
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Post by sawwhet on Feb 11, 2020 1:34:42 GMT
I've only been overnight when I had my babies and no, I was alone. To be honest, after all the visitors, I was happy to be alone LOL.
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Post by whipea on Feb 11, 2020 1:43:07 GMT
Never. I reject this concept so fully that I drove myself halfway across the state for a minor surgical procedure followed by a two day hospital stay. Drove back home when released, was relaxed moderately comfortable and not on any pain killers except Advil. Also been in for various routine surgeries anywhere from a few to 6 days. I was ill and somewhat out of it, so why would someone want to just sit there and I definitely do not want them hanging around.
Agree with others who stated the same. Just the thought of someone around my room is not helpful. I have never been abandoned or neglected by nurses and other personnel, they have always been helpful and friends and D/H can be reached if needed.
In the extreme, I have a friend who's wife had a minor gynecological procedure where she had to stay overnight. He stayed overnight, slept in a chair since he felt if he left, someone would "take advantage" of her in her compromised state.
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