Alone at hospital?

my dh has spent lots and lots of time in the hospital.. unless it is critical or just before or post surgery, I always come in the morning for an hour, then bring in dinner and stay for 1-2 hours in the evening. all day would be too much on either of us. these are mostly infections or orthopedic issues.. so if it was a different deal, I might do something different. my dh has been in the hospital for 30 days.. and then weeks here and there. so all day every day is not good for either of us. he can monitor his own meds.. and he has caught mistakes.

My only overnight stays in the hospital have been with the births of my kids. I did not want DH to stay with me overnight. I was fine and I knew he would not be able to sleep. I needed him rested before we brought the babies home!

I stay alone, as does everyone I can think of in my family. My sister had a medical condition diagnosed at age 17 and was hositalized dozens of times until her death, sometimes for several weeks. I don't believe anyone, even when she was high school aged, stayed the nights with her. That said, I had a friend come to my city from out of state for medical care. She stayed at my house before and after the procedures. When she was hositalized she would not stay alone, so I stayed there with her in the fold out chair.

I can't say "never," but I personally wouldn't expect someone to stay the night in my hopital room with me. BUT, I can understand that in some situations, for some people, it could be preferred.

Outside of visits, I've been alone.

I have stayed overnight in the hospital both times I gave birth. The only time dh stayed with me was when I was in labor. I stayed one night post-surgery and 4 nights with a burst ovarian cyst and sepsis. It never would occur to me to have family stay with me. They came to visit then I sent them home. I have heard parents staying with their children, but never an adult staying with another adult.

I've stayed alone. I've had a couple of hospital stays other than the birth of my kids. One was ICU and the nursing staff was great, very attentive. I was stable and really just wanted to sleep. The only time I wished I had someone with me was when I needed to make a decision and while I could make it, I was unsure of myself and kind of wanted another ear.

Last year I was hospitalized on a regular floor for 2 days after having surgery. Dh was there during surgery until I was in recovery and sent him home. The next 2 days he came in around noon and stayed until dinner. I didn't need him for anything really as nurses were again very attentive. He was helpful I suppose in helping me to bathroom, but honestly any time I called when he wasn't there they were right in since they didn't want me up alone.

My son had two surgeries in September, both with two night stays in the hospital. He turned 19 the day after he was released from his second surgery.

I stayed the first time the whole time. The second time I did go home on day two for two hours in the morning and three hours in the evening just to get some sleep (it had been a long, pain filled, beeping filled night after the second surgery).

His dad stayed the first night. The rest of the five days he left at least once during the day and left every night (we’ve divorced and he does not like being in the same room with me plus has another son).

My son still talks about how I abandoned him for those five hours out of six days. 😂😂😂

I think it’s a bit different, though, because he was only 18 at the time, he had been in a dirt bike accident and the first surgery was a surprise. The second one was planned but he was in SOOOOO much pain the couple of days before.

Even after he was released he asked me to stay home with him quite a bit and stay in the same room with him. I didn’t do anything; he just needed me there.

For my mastectomy and the two reconstruction surgeries, all which had me stay 2-3 days in the hospital, aside from visits from friends and Dh & kids for 1 hour per day, I was alone. My younger son can’t be left alone, so we really had no choice.

I have never had to stay an extended time at the hospital.. but I am fine there alone.  I just watch TV and sleep really.  Read maybe.  When I had my kids.. he didn't stay overnight (at least I don't remember him doing so).. the few other times... I think was the longest 2 days.. I was alone except for some visits.  No bother to me.  

Each of my parents has been hospitalized for a week at a time on several different occasions. We don’t stay the entire time but visit a few times a day and make sure to check in with their doctors. Our hospital is a mile from my house so it’s easy to pop in and out.

Most recently my father was critically ill and he really needed to rest more than he needed company. His doctors would call me periodically throughout the day and update me, and I would go over to meet with his team when I needed to.

For me it felt better to go home and decompress when I could, it’s tiring to be at the hospital so much and I needed to rest also.

If someone close to me was hospitalized and having someone around the clock would make a difference, i would do that gladly, it hasn’t been necessary in our world to date.

I've had many hospital stays over the years and I've always been alone. My family comes and visits for a little while but then I ask them to leave. I'd rather be alone.

When I spent a month in the hospital on bedrest, I was about an hour and 20 from my DH and about an hour 30 from my family.  (I was in the Twin Cities).  I did have some friends who lived locally.

Other than weekends and an occasional daytime visitor, I spent my days alone.  My DH came most nights, and I had people call me most days.  However, I didn't really need someone to advocate for me other than maybe the first 48 hours and then the last 48 hours when I, prematurely, went into labor and gave birth.

My mom has now had two back surgeries and a recent hospitalization for an unrelated issue.

We learned from her first post-op, she needs someone to advocate for her when she is drugged up or sickly.  For her two surgeries, my dad was there for them and spent the days with her right afterwards, but he was already on O2 himself (he has now passed away), and wasn't as good of an advocate as we thought he would be that first time.  He would leave at night and stay at a hotel, and we just called and then went and visited and took her to the rehab place.  She injured herself on that first surgery and had a horrific experience that led to the second surgery a year later....so I made sure I was there there first couple days on the second surgery.  While she was in rehab for those surgeries, I did visit her daily (six weeks the first time and four weeks the second time). 


The first surgery, my dad was there at rehab everyday and would go home in the early evening, and I would take over until bedtime.  The second surgery the next year, by that time, my dad wasn't as "with it" and he didn't usually drive himself to see her most days. I would pick him up and take him some days.  I did about 50% of the advocating the first time and 90% the second time.  I work full time, so I spent my evenings there.

When my mom was hospitalized this winter, I took her to the ER, stayed with her the first night and then spent most of the day with her until bedtime.  After the second day though, she was feeling well enough to mostly advocate for herself.  My brother lives out of town and came for the day on the second day and came back later in the week to take her to an appointment.  It was nice to have him help out since my dad is no longer with us.

Oh, and my mom is only 72 and pretty with it, but when she is sick or on drugs, whew, she needs an advocate.  

If dh stayed w/me every time I was in the hospital he would be unemployed. I'm inpatient quite a bit and we have a routine. Two of the hospitals are a hefty commute, so I am there alone. When I'm at my local hospital then dh is there every night. Dh is very caring and takes great care of me, but he's at a fairly new job and we have to be careful. When he was at his old job of 30 years, he telecommuted and it was easier to be at the hospital more often.   During my stays due to sepsis he was there a lot.  I'm fine w/it, because when I'm hospitalized I just want to sleep, anyway.

I've only had 2 hospital overnight stays aside from childbirth. I was in the ICU for 3 days a few years ago with DKA, and a few months ago for a post-surgical stay. Aside from having a visitor once, I've been alone. With the ICU stay, I was so sick (when in DKA you can't keep anything down), so I did NOT want anyone there. For my surgical stay, I was so drugged up, I barely would have known if someone was there LOL! I have a chronic illness, so I have learned to be a good advocate for myself and what I need. In my experience, all the medical staff I have dealt with have trusted me to make my own decisions when it comes to that aspect of my healthcare.