samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912 
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Post by samantha25 on Feb 13, 2020 3:20:40 GMT
My family was snowboarding in the green space (neighborhood, HOA-regulated) behind our house. The neighborhood twins (around 7-8 yo) came out to sled near us about 20 feet away, without parental supervision (I know the moms, but not close friends, just acquaintances) . After about 10 minutes of sledding, they started wrestling/fighting/throwing gloves in each other's face, about 20 good lunges at each other. One twin said stop to the other at least 3 times and didn't. I'm standing about 10 feet away and I said- "guys stop, that's inappropriate". After I said this they quit and then left the area and I heard the one boy say that he's telling mom. My DH said,"don't engage not our kids. Don't get involved." So hard for me not to say something. WDTPS? Also clarifying that this is no big deal and am not making a big deal out of this, just wondering if I should just mind my own business  ......... |
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 13, 2020 3:22:35 GMT
In that situation with kids that age, no parent around, and one kid wanting out? I'd say it was fine.
I would have wanted someone to say something to my boys.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Feb 13, 2020 3:24:18 GMT
My off-the-cuff opinion is that your (mild) level of intervention was just right. You let them know that a caring adult had an eye on them, which must have made the "victim" (and I use that word quite loosely) feel a bit safer, but you didn't overstep.
My judgment may be a bit clouded by the fact that I am a teacher and very accustomed to watching over kids who are not my own!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 13, 2020 3:50:36 GMT
If they were in my yard doing that, I would tell them to knock it off right now, and that they need to go home. I wouldn’t want some neighbor kids mixing it up on my property, have one of them get hurt and then have their parents think it was somehow my fault because they were in my yard.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Feb 13, 2020 3:56:31 GMT
If they were in my yard doing that, I would tell them to knock it off right now, and that they need to go home. I wouldn’t want some neighbor kids mixing it up on my property, have one of them get hurt and then have their parents think it was somehow my fault because they were in my yard. Wasn't clear that this is the neighborhood, HOA-regulated green space, common area. We live, which I think, is the best lot abutting this area, but it is common, so I mistakenly wrote "our"- I edited it to say "the". Thanks for the input. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 13, 2020 4:00:37 GMT
If they were in my yard doing that, I would tell them to knock it off right now, and that they need to go home. I wouldn’t want some neighbor kids mixing it up on my property, have one of them get hurt and then have their parents think it was somehow my fault because they were in my yard. Wasn't clear that this is the neighborhood, HOA-regulated green space, common area. We live, which I think, is the best lot abutting this area, but it is common, so I mistakenly wrote "our"- I edited it to say "the". Thanks for the input. I still think you handled it just fine. If my kid was doing that I would want someone seeing it to tell her to knock it off. |
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Post by Skellinton on Feb 13, 2020 4:29:06 GMT
Since one kid asked 3 times for the other to stop I think you did the right thing.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,432
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Feb 13, 2020 4:32:00 GMT
One kid asked repeatedly for the other to stop and he didn’t. You did the right thing. I would have done the same.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 13, 2020 4:35:18 GMT
Sounds like you did good! You said something they stopped all ended good!
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Post by MalleyCat on Feb 13, 2020 4:55:31 GMT
Think you did the right thing and I would have done the same.
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Post by cmpeter on Feb 13, 2020 5:06:07 GMT
I think you did the right thing.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 13, 2020 8:13:47 GMT
This is a true example of taking a village to raise a child.
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Post by Basket1lady on Feb 13, 2020 9:09:21 GMT
I would have told them to stop. If the mom says anything, say that the one twin repeatedly asked the other to stop. From the boys’ reaction, it sounds like they are allowed to fight at home. But I never allowed my kids to beat on each other.
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Post by julieinsweden on Feb 13, 2020 10:34:02 GMT
I believe it takes a village to raise kids. So I would have done the same.
I think it's a shame there are too many people like you DH.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
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Post by peaname on Feb 13, 2020 11:24:27 GMT
I would have said something too. And since I heard one kid say stop three times I would have given them my no means no speech because I’m so used to spouting it off to my own kids.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Feb 13, 2020 11:29:59 GMT
I don't think you did anything wrong. You made an appropriate comment and did not overstep any boundaries.
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Post by KelleeM on Feb 13, 2020 11:31:47 GMT
You did the right thing.
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kelly8875
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Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Feb 13, 2020 12:32:30 GMT
I think what you did is fine. It doesn’t sound like you touched them or really got between them at all. You simply said to stop. Especially since one of the boys was asking for it to all stop, I think you did the right thing.
I would have wanted that type of watchful eye over my kids.
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,986
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Post by blue tulip on Feb 13, 2020 12:59:41 GMT
when he said he was telling mom, i would think that meant he was going to tell mom that his sibling was fighting with him. not that they were going to tattle on you, know what i mean?
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Post by LisaDV on Feb 13, 2020 13:39:38 GMT
You did the right thing.
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Post by kitkath on Feb 13, 2020 14:25:36 GMT
Maybe he meant that he is “telling mom” that his brother wouldn’t stop fighting with him. You did the right thing. Their fighting was disrupting your fun.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by grammanisi on Feb 13, 2020 16:42:18 GMT
I would and have done the same thing you did.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 16:25:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2020 16:47:38 GMT
If my kids are acting like heathens in public then yes, they need to be course corrected. Like a previous poster stated your level of engagement was just right. I don't agree with your DH. Then again, men think this way because my husband said the same thing as your's for this situation.  |
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 13, 2020 17:26:51 GMT
I would have done the same thing.
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Post by maryland on Feb 13, 2020 18:02:47 GMT
I would have told them to stop. If the mom says anything, say that the one twin repeatedly asked the other to stop. From the boys’ reaction, it sounds like they are allowed to fight at home. But I never allowed my kids to beat on each other. Me either. My girls love to rough house/wrestle with each other, but when they are no longer laughing, it must stop. |
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 16:25:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2020 18:21:16 GMT
I think you did the right thing; not too heavy-handed but a gentle reminder. Pat yourself on the back!
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Post by Jen in NCal on Feb 13, 2020 20:29:35 GMT
I so wanted to say "Not your circus, not your monkeys" just to be difficult but I can't. You did the right thing. But then again, I'm the person who yells at kids to stoo running in the grocery store. And I don't even have kids. Unless you count the 200 I teach.
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Post by rainangel on Feb 13, 2020 22:48:48 GMT
I honestly think we need MORE engaging with kids acting up like this.
If the parents had been around, it would be their problem and I would stay away from it. But without any adults watching them, all adults in the nearby vicinity should care enough to help the child saying 'stop' three times and not be heard.
Why are we so afraid to engage with children who are unsupervised and clearly should have their behavior stopped? This is what the village is for!
You did the right thing. I find it strange your husband asked to not engage. At what point would he find it appropriate to step in then? When they drew blood?
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Feb 14, 2020 2:22:40 GMT
You absolutely did the right thing! Stop means stop, he said it loud enough for you to hear it for a reason!
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Rhondito
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MississipPea
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Post by Rhondito on Feb 14, 2020 2:35:35 GMT
I think you handled it perfectly and I don't see how any parent could have a problem with someone correcting their child in that way.
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