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Post by Darcy Collins on Mar 4, 2020 22:29:56 GMT
So this is a new one for me. The parent of a teen my teen is dating has requested to follow me on fb. I keep my fb pretty locked down - all actual family and friends. I have no problem at all declining work related requests, but this one has me scratching my head a bit. There's no animosity at all, and I do know her casually through an ec they're both active in - but very casually. I do not do facebook drama - and it just seems like it would be awkward if - let's be honest here - when they break up. Do you follow parents of your kids' "significant others"?
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,057 
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Post by AllieC on Mar 4, 2020 22:34:23 GMT
I do but we are quite friendly. If this happened to me I would probably accept the request then exclude her from seeing anything I didn't want to and also unfollow. No need to see or be involved in any drama.
Otherwise if you feel comfortable, just let it sit there and if she asks say you hardly look at FB so hadn't seen it.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,172
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
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Post by lesley on Mar 4, 2020 22:39:30 GMT
I do but we are quite friendly. If this happened to me I would probably accept the request then exclude her from seeing anything I didn't want to and also unfollow. No need to see or be involved in any drama. Otherwise if you feel comfortable, just let it sit there and if she asks say you hardly look at FB so hadn't seen it.  This is what I would say because this is the truth! I hate Facebook and rarely go anywhere near it. And any time I do it reminds me why I hate it so much!  |
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Post by ~summer~ on Mar 4, 2020 22:41:53 GMT
You can accept but make them a restricted friend - they only see what us public.
I’m connected with my son’s SO parents on instagram but I’m friends with them and like them a lot.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Mar 4, 2020 22:45:34 GMT
I was friends with my dds long term boyfriends parent. Only one of them was on Facebook. Now that I think about it, she may have unfriended me since the kids broke up and they moved a couple years ago. Or I just don’t see many of her posts because Facebook is weird.
I really don’t have much FB drama. If there is I just hide it or snooze them.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Mar 4, 2020 22:45:52 GMT
My son has his first real girlfriend and she lives in a neighboring county. Let's see we are all now friend with each other on all social media. The only one I am not contacts with is her dad on FB. I am friends with even the girlfriend on FB, snap chat, instagram and her mom too. Her mom is contacts with my son on all 3 as well. We all have fun with it too. I have known this girl, her sister, and her mom for several years though. The social media adds came in the last couple of months. We do tag each other in pictures etc....
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Post by Merge on Mar 4, 2020 22:52:05 GMT
I did, and it was awkward when they broke up. I wouldn't do it again.
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Post by workingclassdog on Mar 4, 2020 22:55:33 GMT
I am still friends with my DD first serious boyfriend (in high school).. We are still friends even know they broke up years ago and DD is getting married. It's not weird at all and it is a little fun to look back about the old days (although we don't anymore.. just when they first broke up.. it was hard on us mamma's because we both liked the other kiddo).. I can still see what he is doing as an adult (through her page/pictures, not his).. but we don't really chat anymore as they moved and I don't make comments.
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Post by jenjie on Mar 4, 2020 22:58:49 GMT
We did. I figured I can get to know what the family is about and they can do the same with us.
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Post by mom on Mar 4, 2020 22:58:59 GMT
I would let it sit and just ignore it. We have a rule for myself & DH - we don't accept friend requests from girlfriends family until a ring is involved or at least serious enough that its heading that way. It keeps me from judging the daughter on whatever stupid crap her parent puts on FB and also limits the drama.
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Post by tripletmom on Mar 4, 2020 23:01:20 GMT
My daughters, Alayna and Emma, were best friends with a girl named Taylor. Alayna got cancer and Taylor and Taylor’s mom friended me on FB. Fast forward a couple years and my son and Taylor were dating. Fast forward 9 months and my son and Taylor broke up. Even though Taylor was a shitty girlfriend and the way she treated him was not good, that’s for them to work out and deal with. Taylor’s mom and I are still FB friends, Taylor and Emma are still best friends (Alayna passed away) and my youngest daughter and Taylor’s little sister are best friends. It works for all involved, since we are still in each others lives. If I didn’t know the person, I probably wouldn’t friend them or accept a friend request.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 4, 2020 23:03:29 GMT
My son and his gf dated for nine years before she requested me for a friend. Ha. We've been on several vacations together and neither one of us requested anything on FB. Now it is no big thing, but it might be a little weird if they recently started dating.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 4, 2020 23:17:36 GMT
How long have they been dating? I'm now FB friends with ds18's girlfriend and her mom. The GF friend requested me after they'd been dating at least 9 months and the mom I friended a few months ago because FB Messenger is where we're talking about vacation plans (her mom isn't going but the GF is). I figure if they break up I can unfriend them. It's not like FB sends a message that someone unfriended you so they probably wouldn't know for awhile (I'm not very active on there anyhow).
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Post by cmpeter on Mar 4, 2020 23:24:56 GMT
I did accept and even though ds and his girlfriend broke up, I’m still FB friends with her mom and the daughter (so is dh). It hasn’t been awkward. They were together for about 18 months. And, we knew the family before from elementary and jr high.
The dad owns an car sales/repair shop. He gives my sister-in-law the family discount when she brings her car in. Ds and his daughter have been broken up for three years. She’s only met him thru the car shop. I thought that was a bit strange, but happy for her. We don’t use his shop because he’s make specific and we don’t have that type of car. We haven’t seen him in person for three years.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Mar 4, 2020 23:34:47 GMT
It's not like FB sends a message that someone unfriended you so they probably wouldn't know for awhile (I'm not very active on there anyhow). I have Facebook Purity (sometimes referred to as fluffbusting purity) which is an extension that really cleans up FB from a lot of the extra junk. One of the features is that you do get a notification when people are no longer on your friend list. |
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Mar 4, 2020 23:42:44 GMT
It's not like FB sends a message that someone unfriended you so they probably wouldn't know for awhile (I'm not very active on there anyhow). I have Facebook Purity (sometimes referred to as fluffbusting purity) which is an extension that really cleans up FB from a lot of the extra junk. One of the features is that you do get a notification when people are no longer on your friend list. Huh. Didn't know such a thing existed....cool in a way, I guess. I'll have to keep that in mind and unfriend carefully. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Mar 5, 2020 0:04:03 GMT
How long have they been dating? I'm now FB friends with ds18's girlfriend and her mom. The GF friend requested me after they'd been dating at least 9 months and the mom I friended a few months ago because FB Messenger is where we're talking about vacation plans (her mom isn't going but the GF is). I figure if they break up I can unfriend them. It's not like FB sends a message that someone unfriended you so they probably wouldn't know for awhile (I'm not very active on there anyhow). Well I suppose it depends on how you define "dating." Year or so I guess. I try to mostly just stay uninvolved to be perfectly honest. |
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Post by maryland on Mar 5, 2020 0:06:09 GMT
No, I don't. I don't even know if my 20 yr. old's boyfriend's parents are on facebook. They have been dating 4 yrs., and we have met them, but not friend requests. My 22 yr. old has been dating her boyfriend for 3 yrs., and his parents don't know about her! They are very strict, and don't want him dating, especially someone not of the same ethnic background.
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 5, 2020 0:06:56 GMT
I'm not, but I wouldn't decline a request. I just don't typically send friend requests.
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Gennifer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,991
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Post by Gennifer on Mar 5, 2020 0:12:35 GMT
My two older kids are dating siblings, so, yes, I am friends with their parents. My daughter and her boyfriend have been together for about 18 months, but my son and his girlfriend are only 4 or 5 months.
But, I actually went to high school with their parents. In fact, I went on a couple of dates with him, so... our casual friendship precedes the dating.
What do you guys think of being friends with a family member’s ex? Like, my nieces and nephews have some previous long-term relationships that have ended. They are still FB friends with the ex, but should I unfriend?
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This is what I would say because this is the truth! I hate Facebook and rarely go anywhere near it. And any time I do it reminds me why I hate it so much! 
