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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 29, 2020 18:49:21 GMT
So DD's wedding is at the end of June. They really want to postpone it due to who knows what is going to be going on and what the rules will be (if any) and so forth. The venue won't let them postpone it (at least right now). There is so much to do but seems like everything is just up in the air and by the time they will know if they can even have the wedding we are going to be scrambling. It's really sucking the fun out of it. If she postpones it, they will out the money they put down. Then what if there is still social distancing? She has 130 some people coming from all over the place. We can't very well start telling people they can't come.  I mean I guess we would have to, but that seriously sucks. So far we still need to have tux fittings, dress alterations, invitations sent out. Pretty sure the tux place isn't open yet.. but in any case DH isn't even here to get it done since he is driving (he was originally going to have it done in the middle of April when he was home). Ugggg I have no idea what else she has. She wants me to look over the contract to see if there is anyway to do this without a penalty. She couldn't find anything other than cancelling. I have a lawyer friend who could just look it over for me for nothing. What do you peas think?? Try to go ahead and have the wedding and hope it all turns out or try to pressure the venue in letting her postpone it? In the end it's going to be their call, I am just trying to look at all sides of this. I am sure there are many many people in the same boat. |
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Post by ntsf on Apr 29, 2020 18:52:24 GMT
I think I would bite the bullet.. cancel and have a small ceremony live streamed. too soon for large gatherings of people all over. cut back on expenses of a tux, food, etc. and it will come out in the end.
which is more important.. health and a small wedding and a great marriage.. ? or last minute scramble with unknown danger?
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400 
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Post by ashley on Apr 29, 2020 18:53:08 GMT
Please do not hold a wedding right now. I know it’s an important event but everyone’s health is much, much more important.
I know venues here are using payments to reschedule in the future. Perhaps that is an option?
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Post by MichyM on Apr 29, 2020 18:56:09 GMT
I'll ditto Ashley but more stridently. PLEASE DO NOT HOLD A WEDDING RIGHT NOW (or this summer). And I'm sorry if you have to take a financial hit with the venue. Truly!
PS: my niece and her fiance were to be married Memorial Day weekend of NEXT year. Yesterday they pushed it to Labor Day weekend of 2021.
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Post by crafty on Apr 29, 2020 18:58:44 GMT
I'd think I'd just plan on cancelling and move forward with that. I wouldn't necessarily tell the venue that until it becomes clear that it is time to cancel or they cancel.
I know this isn't the same, but I had a flight I was to take the last week of March. Originally the airline wasn't going to cancel. When I called, they told me if I cancelled, there was no refund. Well, that didn't make sense to me because what was the incentive to cancel if I wasn't going to get a refund. I asked what would happen if I just didn't show up. They said that I would be credited the flight cost for a future flight. So I, in theory, kept the flight. Two days before, they cancelled and refunded.
I'd make plans to cancel and I'd ask the venue what the date is that they are going to determine if they are cancelling and wait until that date to formally see what would happen even though I made personal plans to do a different date.
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Post by mom on Apr 29, 2020 19:05:29 GMT
I would cancel.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Apr 29, 2020 19:05:58 GMT
Are you holding it in CO? Hard to believe they'll be at gatherings over 100 people by end of June. I think the venue is fooling themselves.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,618
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Apr 29, 2020 19:07:48 GMT
I'd cancel as well.
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,992
Location: Colorado
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Post by snyder on Apr 29, 2020 19:11:41 GMT
I think I would plan to reschedule the wedding. Leave the venue for now and hold out on them, because it is highly likely that gatherings of that many people will not be allowed and they will cancel. If they don't cancel, deal with it then. Did they pay for the whole venue amount or just a deposit? I would say one can recover for the loss, hard to swallow, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. So go with your plan B to reschedule, hang tight with the venue issue, because if you cancel now, definitely loose your money, but wait on them, more than likely you won't loose your money.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 29, 2020 19:12:03 GMT
I’d cancel. But that’s just me. ETA: cancel with the guests, and wait on the venue and see if they cancel on you so you’d get a refund.
Actually, what I would probably do is have an intimate civil service wedding with a JP on the original date and do a bigger ceremony and/or reception later for everyone.
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 29, 2020 19:12:54 GMT
How much of a deposit will they be losing? It is easy to say cancel when it isn't your wedding (or family's wedding). I think we all keep holding out hope that the things that matter to us (outside of human lives, we all know...) won't be too impacted. She has 130 some people coming from all over the place. Has she (or you) talked to the people coming from "all over the place?" Are they even willing to risk traveling at the end of June? Will the most important people be able to attend? Can she move forward with the planning without losing more money? 2 months may change things, or it may not. |
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 23:38:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2020 19:19:33 GMT
I would push for the deposit back, They are counting on you caving. Usually those contracts are unbreakable, but this a public emergency, beyond your control.
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Post by allison1954 on Apr 29, 2020 19:37:22 GMT
Your DH can be fitted anywhere that is open for rentals, though I have no idea where that might be.
You go in and ask for a courtesy measuring and they will send the info to YOUR rental place. That is what we had to do with our out of town groomsman.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,885
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Apr 29, 2020 19:39:21 GMT
I would cancel. Imagine how you would all feel if you start to get calls after the wedding that your guests ended up getting exposed to the virus at the event?
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Post by mrssmith on Apr 29, 2020 19:40:14 GMT
Cancel. I cannot imagine it will be allowed anywhere for 100+ people to gather in June and that people will be traveling across straight lines (unless for necessary business). You also don't want a wedding to turn into a funeral months down the line.
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Post by mom on Apr 29, 2020 19:43:23 GMT
So DD's wedding is at the end of June. They really want to postpone it due to who knows what is going to be going on and what the rules will be (if any) and so forth. The venue won't let them postpone it (at least right now). There is so much to do but seems like everything is just up in the air and by the time they will know if they can even have the wedding we are going to be scrambling. It's really sucking the fun out of it. If she postpones it, they will out the money they put down. Then what if there is still social distancing? She has 130 some people coming from all over the place. We can't very well start telling people they can't come. I mean I guess we would have to, but that seriously sucks. So far we still need to have tux fittings, dress alterations, invitations sent out. Pretty sure the tux place isn't open yet.. but in any case DH isn't even here to get it done since he is driving (he was originally going to have it done in the middle of April when he was home). Ugggg I have no idea what else she has. She wants me to look over the contract to see if there is anyway to do this without a penalty. She couldn't find anything other than cancelling. I have a lawyer friend who could just look it over for me for nothing. What do you peas think?? Try to go ahead and have the wedding and hope it all turns out or try to pressure the venue in letting her postpone it? In the end it's going to be their call, I am just trying to look at all sides of this. I am sure there are many many people in the same boat. Would they not let you just reschedule it for a later date? They keep the money you've paid and you have a venue for a later date. |
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,463
Location: Fergus, Ontario
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Post by cakediva on Apr 29, 2020 19:44:41 GMT
I can’t believe the venue won’t postpone for them yet!
All my July weddings have now officially moved to late fall or next year....
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 29, 2020 19:55:13 GMT
So just a few answers for ya'll:
She doesn't want to cut it down to a small wedding and forgo everything else. (Their decision/money.. so that is that)
They DO want to cancel. I am not sure how much they have put down. But I will ask and see.. maybe if they just lose that one deposit and wait a year, it won't hurt the pocketbook to much.
At this point the venue will not let them reschedule.
People coming from "all over" are from CA and MO mostly. There is family on his side in Mexico but I don't even know if they were planning on attending or not. Our side of the family (DH family) would travel (they are more risky I guess is the way to put it.. they are doing MUCH more right now than we are in CO).. My mom and sister are more like me and hunkering down as much as possible. My mom although in good health is in her early 80s. Too risky for me. My sister would have to fly, and that is too risky in my opinion as well. The rest of them.. DH family would all be driving. I have no idea how her fiance family is.
I can't imagine CO will even let anyone have a gathering that big by then. Maybe 50, but I think that is pushing it.
They would have to reschedule for next summer as they are both in college and this coming year is going to be a tough year for them both.. lots of hard classes and intern hours.
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Post by bc2ca on Apr 29, 2020 20:00:45 GMT
I’d cancel. But that’s just me. ETA: cancel with the guests, and wait on the venue and see if they cancel on you so you’d get a refund. Actually, what I would probably do is have an intimate civil service wedding with a JP on the original date and do a bigger ceremony and/or reception later for everyone.  There is no way I'd have an expectation of people traveling from all over the place in June. It's not just the risks attached to traveling, it's because people's lives and income have been turned upside down. She has to anticipate that half her guests won't be able to afford the trip anymore and/or be able to take time off work if they have gone back before the wedding. IMHO, the sooner she lets her guests know, the better. It sucks, it really does. |
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Post by drummergirl65 on Apr 29, 2020 20:03:31 GMT
My daughter was supposed to get married as well. They had a ceremony at the church with just us and her siblings and grandma. We live streamed it to her friends and his family (who are all out of town). It was fantastic.Her friends waited outside the church in their cars and honked when they came outside. Someone blasted a song from the car speakers for their "first dance" She wore a simple white dress as she postponed the wedding till October 2021. Then she'll wear her big gown.
It's a huge occasion but I would definitely postpone and see if the venue will transfer the deposit to a new date.
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,831
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Post by CeeScraps on Apr 29, 2020 20:05:31 GMT
My niece is supposed to be getting married the end of May. They are still having the ceremony. None of us are going.
Here’s what my brother shared the other day.......The church has a tiered parking lot. Yes....so, those that are attending are locals to them. They are parking in the lot. My niece/brother are walking down the sidewalk that goes through the middle of the parking area. This sidewalk leads to the church which is at the bottom of the tiers. They have a dj looking into some time of radio broadcast of the ceremony.
NO reception at this time. They too are going to lose money if they cancel. They are looking to push this back. I suggested....ok, so you can’t cancel, then how about a reception on their first year anniversary? I haven’t heard back. I thought well, those that have bought airline tickets may be able to book that date. Those with airBNB could rebook at that date.
Anyhow.....this is what they are doing. Hopefully some of this will help someone!
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 29, 2020 20:07:20 GMT
Well something I didn't realize (I just had a little chat with DD).. cancelling and losing out on their deposit isn't an option as the money they put down is A LOT. So they are basically at the mercy of what the venue is willing to do. May 8th seems to be the next date they waiting on. Probably when the governor will let us know what the next steps are. I am talking with DD tonight more in detail. IF they won't let us change it, we might have to just have a smaller wedding without the out of town guests.
ACKKKKKK
and yes all the guests know we are on hold for now. Everyone has hotel reservations and such but the hotel will let us cancel them if need be. I have kept the lines open on what is going on.. and they know.. I mean it is not a local thing going on.. it's the whole world.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 29, 2020 20:10:25 GMT
So DD's wedding is at the end of June. They really want to postpone it due to who knows what is going to be going on and what the rules will be (if any) and so forth. The venue won't let them postpone it (at least right now). There is so much to do but seems like everything is just up in the air and by the time they will know if they can even have the wedding we are going to be scrambling. It's really sucking the fun out of it. If she postpones it, they will out the money they put down. Then what if there is still social distancing? She has 130 some people coming from all over the place. We can't very well start telling people they can't come. I mean I guess we would have to, but that seriously sucks. So far we still need to have tux fittings, dress alterations, invitations sent out. Pretty sure the tux place isn't open yet.. but in any case DH isn't even here to get it done since he is driving (he was originally going to have it done in the middle of April when he was home). Ugggg I have no idea what else she has. She wants me to look over the contract to see if there is anyway to do this without a penalty. She couldn't find anything other than cancelling. I have a lawyer friend who could just look it over for me for nothing. What do you peas think?? Try to go ahead and have the wedding and hope it all turns out or try to pressure the venue in letting her postpone it? In the end it's going to be their call, I am just trying to look at all sides of this. I am sure there are many many people in the same boat. Would they not let you just reschedule it for a later date? They keep the money you've paid and you have a venue for a later date. That's exactly what we want to do.. so far they say no. I think mamma needs to get on the phone with their planner and start being firm (she likes it when I do that.. she still is learning.. hahaha) |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Apr 29, 2020 20:11:17 GMT
I'm guessing the venue will have to cave on letting them reschedule when Colorado doesn't allow larger gatherings. We had the same problem with a cruise scheduled for June. They spent months saying we could cancel and receive a credit, but no refund. When they were forced to cancel the sailing, the refunded. Well in theory - it hasn't hit my cc yet. ETA I guess it was actually weeks - the last 6 weeks has just seemed like months  |
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Post by Skellinton on Apr 29, 2020 20:13:30 GMT
That completely sucks that the venue is being so difficult. Is the ceremony and reception the same venue?
I would absolutely postpone.
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scrapngranny
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Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,765
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Post by scrapngranny on Apr 29, 2020 20:17:05 GMT
I would cancel. There is a good chance the out of area she wants to have there may choose not to fly. Depending on where you live, you may not even be allowed to do an event with a lot of people
I would pick a date for next year if she does not want to do the small wedding thing.
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 29, 2020 20:17:06 GMT
the last 6 weeks has just seemed like months It does and yet, April flew by. Probably because there was nothing of note, so I still think it is March. |
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,831
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Post by CeeScraps on Apr 29, 2020 20:20:06 GMT
Would they not let you just reschedule it for a later date? They keep the money you've paid and you have a venue for a later date. That's exactly what we want to do.. so far they say no. I think mamma needs to get on the phone with their planner and start being firm (she likes it when I do that.. she still is learning.. hahaha) I’d take over the job of Party planner. That way you know who you are talking to. Once you speak with them if they don’t seem to want to listen move your questions up the chain of command. It cannot hurt. You guys need to be in control. The party planner is an in between person which at this point should be you. |
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Post by MichyM on Apr 29, 2020 20:23:05 GMT
That's exactly what we want to do.. so far they say no. I think mamma needs to get on the phone with their planner and start being firm (she likes it when I do that.. she still is learning.. hahaha) I’d take over the job of Party planner. That way you know who you are talking to. Once you speak with them if they don’t seem to want to listen move your questions up the chain of command. It cannot hurt. You guys need to be in control. The party planner is an in between person which at this point should be you. I agree. If you're getting no where with the planner, contact your vendors yourselves. Good luck! |
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anniebeth24
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Posts: 3,566
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Post by anniebeth24 on Apr 29, 2020 20:28:07 GMT
My nephew's wedding is supposed to be the end of May. All of their vendors have been supportive and willing to apply deposits to a new date, including both the reception hall and the rehearsal dinner hall.
They will still have the ceremony on original date, but moved the reception to December.
Hoping you can get someone to budge!
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I mean I guess we would have to, but that seriously sucks. 
There is no way I'd have an expectation of people traveling from all over the place in June. It's not just the risks attached to traveling, it's because people's lives and income have been turned upside down. She has to anticipate that half her guests won't be able to afford the trip anymore and/or be able to take time off work if they have gone back before the wedding.
