What kind of help should I ask for from DR?

I don't have any advice...but wanted to say good for you. I am so glad you are ready to start your journey and you know you have a lot of cheerleaders on this board

Good for you for asking for some help. ((hugs)) I hope you have a dr. that will listen and not just ignore what you're experiencing.
As far as the quote, Welbutrin does not have those 2 things as side effects. I've found that Lexapro and Zoloft take the O out of sex. That's a big no from me.
Good luck with finding what you need.

I was in the same place, sought help, and it backfired on me.

I went to my primary care provider, told her I didn't know what was wrong, just that something had changed and not in a good way.

Constant fatigue, chronic all over low level pain, brain fog, and just feeling like I was moving through water all the time (meaning everything was difficult, I felt like I had to exert more effort than normal just to function on a basic level).

Her response? You're fat, forty, and female. Perimenopause. Middle age blahs. This is common, so take this SSRI antidepressant and eat less and move more.

It didn't help. I tried a few different pills, all had unacceptable side effects. I went through the motions with diet and exercise. I lost weight but didn't feel better. I kept going back to my primary care provider and saying no, something is wrong. She kept saying yeah, you're female, fat, and forty... you haven't taken care of yourself, of course you feel awful. Try this other pill and try this other diet. Nothing helped. The pills didn't make me feel any better, they just made me no longer care as much that I felt bad.

It turns out that it was an autoimmune disease, but it wasn't diagnosed until 4 years later, after it had progressed and caused major organ damage. And the signs were there all along. My blood tests from yearly physicals show the increasing levels of chronic inflammation and other out of balance lab values. My primary care provider dismissed it as being lifestyle related. Of course I was in a state of constant inflammation, I was fat, excess weight causes systemic inflammation. I obviously ate crap and didn't take care of myself so no wonder this level was low and that level was high and I felt awful and down all the time.

All along I knew something was wrong, That went beyond fat, forty, and female. But I did what I had the mental and physical wherewithal to do. I went to my doctor and asked for help. And kept going back over and over again. I got dismissed and hand-patted every time, but I didn't have the energy and mental clarity to be more proactive. I didn't get a new primary care provider and start over. It was always an option but I didn't do it.

I guess my point, is don't let them dismiss you. If what they say doesn't make sense (and you know yourself better than a doctor can). And if the treatments they offer don't work, and really work, not just distract you or mask the problem, then keep pushing for answers. And if they aren't working to find them, get a new doctor who will work harder.

I wish I had an answer for you. You are so not alone.

Reading your post I was like, wait, did I write this? I swear I could have written it almost verbatim.

Unfortunately, I also could have have written much of tracyarts post as well. Had an appointment with a new PCP just last week and the entire gist of her attitude was the same. Already looking for a new PCP.

Hang in there and know that there are others in the same boat as you. Or maybe sitting our fat butts on the bench together. {{{hugs}}}

You do not have to feel this way.

You do not mention how old you are, but ask to have your hormones checked - testosterone and progesterone. I started on those supplements around age 40.

I see a great DO who treats more like a functional medicine doctor. I actually did a genetic test last year on my neurotransmitters and found out that more of my neurotransmitter genes (I think there are 33 genes they tested) have anomalies/mutations than don't and were causing inflammation. The recommendation was to take LDN - low dose naltrexone (4.5 mg). In high doses it's used to treat opioid addiction (50 mg), but in low doses it works to fire on your neurotransmitters helping mood, energy levels and weight loss. It was a game changer for me.  I have a renewed energy and outlook that I hadn't had for a long time.  I'm turning 48 this weekend.

Also ask her to check for an MTHFR mutation. It's estimated that 60% of people have an MTHFR mutation which interferes with methylation and the body's ability to detox. If you do have a variant in your MTHFR gene, you simply take a Methylated Vit B. You can buy them over the counter. But, taking a regular B vitamin when you have this mutation can actually cause more problems. This should be a simple blood test.

If you do go the route of anti-depressants, I had great luck with Viibryd (Vilazodone). No side effects. Unfortunately, there isn't a generic and it is quite costly, but it was worth it to help me see the forest from the trees.

Good luck. I hope you find some resolution. And, if your doctor won't look into these things, maybe find a DO or functional medicine doctor who will spend the time to dive into your whole health and who will treat your symptoms, not just by the numbers.

tracyarts I follow a few functional medicine doctors and they say just because it's common doesn't mean its normal. Sometimes it's hard enough to get doctors to listen then they only treat the symptoms not the underlying cause.

Hair loss, weight gain, fatigue are all symptoms of hypothyroidism. Just because your levels are "normal" doesn't make them acceptable. Say normal was 50-150 if you are at 51 or 145 the doctor will say you are in the normal range. I wouldn't consider that normal if I was still feeling crappy, normal should probably be the middle of the road. Maybe your thyroid is fine and you also have depression. Good luck in finding out what's wrong.

I’m sorry you are going through this.

My suggestion is to write down every single thing you are feeling. Write down physical symptoms, mental issues, and triggers that make it worse. Note how you feel throughout the day, from waking up, until going to bed.

Explain your relationship with family member and how the way you are feeling effects these relationships. Make sure she understands whether these relationships are adding to your feelings or if your feeling are causing issues with the relationships.

Don’t let the doctor minimize your feelings or get wrapped up in diet or weight. Your weight is a symptom not a cause of the way you feel. A healthy diet will add to feeling better, but it won’t cure depression or anxiety.

Getting better an be a slow process, don’t give up. Best of luck to feeling better soon

Thank you! I have been dealing with this for years! I have nodules on my thyroid but because my numbers are within the "normal" range, (even if it is within one tenth of a percent of normal) none of the doctors will even consider that there could be any issue.

Good for you for taking the first step. I hope you have a doctor who will really listen and try to get to the bottom of what is going on. Too many of them seem to see an overweight woman and tell her to lose weight when something treatable may be causing the symptoms and the weight.

Antidepressants aren’t happy pills.  What you describe sounds like how I was before Prozac.  I had two little kids and a husband that needed tending.  I never stopped doing things I just stopped enjoying anything.  6 weeks after I swallowed that first pill I felt better.  I no longer had ‘chores’ to do but had a life to live.  Several people that I did not know well commented on my change.  And it wasn’t giddy happiness just an ability to engage and respond.  I highly recommend asking about antidepressants.  I initially resisted but my shrink said I could stop if I didn’t like them.  That was 25 years ago.  I also want to say that in discussing my problems it was discovered that I had a family history of depression and had probably been depressed from a very early age.  That’s why I have stayed on them.  Many people are able to stop after a period of time.

My word of advice is don't be discouraged if the first anti-depressant you take doesn't work. There are a ton on the market and all work a little bit differently. I felt like it took forever to find the one that worked for me, but now that I've found it, I finally feel like a real human being again! Also, if your new doctor doesn't want to prescribe them, consider a psychiatrist. My PCP doesn't like to do anxiety meds and referred me to one, and they're extremely helpful!
My non-medical opinion is to try Wellbutrin first. Like other have said, it doesn't kill sex drive and actually has weight loss as a side effect. Also, there are genetic testings now for anti-depressants and anxiety meds. Genesight and Genomind are the two biggest ones on the market and are relatively low cost.I

I too could have written this post. I’ve thought of calling my PC a bazillion times but never follow through. I don’t even know where to begin to find a therapist. The negative self talk that happens in my head every day is ridiculous. I know I have anxiety but there’s definitely something else too.

Do not rely on medication alone. You also need talk therapy, preferably cognitive behavior therapy. Several years ago I went into a major depression following the deaths of 3 family members within 3 months. My doctor put me on an anti depressant and I also started therapy to get over the grief and help me change the way I see things. You can ask your doctor, insurance company, friends, heck, even Google CBT near me for the names of therapists. I wish you well on the journey to a new you.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. If I were in your shoes, and I have been in your shoes, my first stop would be to the primary care doctor. I would want a full blood work up. If the primary care doctor dismisses you, I would go straight to an endocrinologist. I have hypothyroid and pcos. The Endo can help with those. Treat that first.

Then once I got all that under control, I'd be heading straight to a psychiatrist. I would want a professional diagnosis. I have bipolar.

And in the meantime while you are figuring all this stuff out, I recommend a therapist. First to deal with your current mental state. This is where you deal with your past and present and make plans for your future. And then you do CBT. CBT will give you tools to deal with depression when medication isn't enough.

Anyway, I'm sorry youre going through this. I wish you nothing but the best.