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Post by shanniebananie on Aug 14, 2020 14:55:32 GMT
Peas, I am finally ready to ask for help.
For at least the past 10 years, I have just been going thru the motions of raising a family and trying to be a good wife, daughter and friend. I don't feel really feel happy or sad, I just "am" and it is not who I truly am. I used to be bubbly, outgoing, and had a lot of energy. I am ready to FEEL again - ALL the feelings. I have been hypothyroid since 1997 and have had "normal" levels for most of that time (after the birth of my first child I really felt off exhausted, weepy, gained weight, etc and my thyroid meds had to be adjusted and I sort of snapped out of it, but not totally). I used to be a teacher but have stayed home for the past 17 years with the kids.
I have gained tons of weight over the past 15 years - almost 90 pounds over weight, I have become very introverted (I hate going anywhere - I do go out when I need to, but I don't enjoy it), I have so many projects around the house that I want to do, but have no energy to accomplish them (I just do enough to keep the house tidy and every one fed and in clean clothes). COVID has really done a number on me - I feel such a heaviness on me all the time, I have even less energy, I feel pretty lost with what to do with my time now. On top of all this, my oldest is a senior this year and we are starting the whole college app process and it is hitting me that my first birdy is leaving the nest soon.
So, I am finally able to admit this all to my doctor. I have told her about my lack of energy, hair loss and inability to lose weight, but we don't get much further than checking my thyroid levels and make adjustments as necessary, Vitamin D levels (they are always low and I take supplements to get them higher) and iron levels.
But, I am finally ready to pursue the possibility of maybe taking an anti depressant to "snap" me out of this very long funk. I want to feel happy and energetic again. I want to tackle all the tasks weighing me down. But, speaking of weighing me down, I don't want to take a med they may lead to weight gain or lack of sex drive. That's a common side effect of these meds, right? Are there meds that don't have these side effects?
So, have you been in my shoes? What helped you turn your moods around? Where should I start? I sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!
Thank you so much!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 13:48:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2020 15:00:44 GMT
I don't have any advice...but wanted to say good for you. I am so glad you are ready to start your journey and you know you have a lot of cheerleaders on this board
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,744
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Aug 14, 2020 15:22:18 GMT
Good for you for, seeking help. It's that first step that starts things.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Aug 14, 2020 15:25:22 GMT
I don't want to take a med they may lead to weight gain or lack of sex drive. That's a common side effect of these meds, right? Are there meds that don't have these side effects? Good for you for asking for some help. ((hugs)) I hope you have a dr. that will listen and not just ignore what you're experiencing. As far as the quote, Welbutrin does not have those 2 things as side effects. I've found that Lexapro and Zoloft take the O out of sex. That's a big no from me. Good luck with finding what you need.
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Post by littlemama on Aug 14, 2020 15:25:58 GMT
Wellbutrin does not suppress your sex drive or affect weight. Celexa kills your sex drive.
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Post by tracyarts on Aug 14, 2020 15:38:28 GMT
I was in the same place, sought help, and it backfired on me.
I went to my primary care provider, told her I didn't know what was wrong, just that something had changed and not in a good way.
Constant fatigue, chronic all over low level pain, brain fog, and just feeling like I was moving through water all the time (meaning everything was difficult, I felt like I had to exert more effort than normal just to function on a basic level).
Her response? You're fat, forty, and female. Perimenopause. Middle age blahs. This is common, so take this SSRI antidepressant and eat less and move more.
It didn't help. I tried a few different pills, all had unacceptable side effects. I went through the motions with diet and exercise. I lost weight but didn't feel better. I kept going back to my primary care provider and saying no, something is wrong. She kept saying yeah, you're female, fat, and forty... you haven't taken care of yourself, of course you feel awful. Try this other pill and try this other diet. Nothing helped. The pills didn't make me feel any better, they just made me no longer care as much that I felt bad.
It turns out that it was an autoimmune disease, but it wasn't diagnosed until 4 years later, after it had progressed and caused major organ damage. And the signs were there all along. My blood tests from yearly physicals show the increasing levels of chronic inflammation and other out of balance lab values. My primary care provider dismissed it as being lifestyle related. Of course I was in a state of constant inflammation, I was fat, excess weight causes systemic inflammation. I obviously ate crap and didn't take care of myself so no wonder this level was low and that level was high and I felt awful and down all the time.
All along I knew something was wrong, That went beyond fat, forty, and female. But I did what I had the mental and physical wherewithal to do. I went to my doctor and asked for help. And kept going back over and over again. I got dismissed and hand-patted every time, but I didn't have the energy and mental clarity to be more proactive. I didn't get a new primary care provider and start over. It was always an option but I didn't do it.
I guess my point, is don't let them dismiss you. If what they say doesn't make sense (and you know yourself better than a doctor can). And if the treatments they offer don't work, and really work, not just distract you or mask the problem, then keep pushing for answers. And if they aren't working to find them, get a new doctor who will work harder.
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Montannie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,486
Location: Big Sky Country
Jun 25, 2014 20:32:35 GMT
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Post by Montannie on Aug 14, 2020 15:41:57 GMT
Yes. I had a bout of depression, and got some Zoloft, which worked for me. I took it for about a year. I can't explain, but one day, the world just seemed bright again, and birds sang.
that sounds sappy, but I think I was in a place where nothing sparked any joy.
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Post by craftedbys on Aug 14, 2020 16:07:57 GMT
I wish I had an answer for you. You are so not alone. Reading your post I was like, wait, did I write this? I swear I could have written it almost verbatim. Unfortunately, I also could have have written much of tracyarts post as well. Had an appointment with a new PCP just last week and the entire gist of her attitude was the same. Already looking for a new PCP. Hang in there and know that there are others in the same boat as you. Or maybe sitting our fat butts on the bench together. {{{hugs}}}
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,947
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Aug 14, 2020 16:22:25 GMT
Good for you! My dd who is 24 has struggled with anxiety to the point where sometimes it was just debilitating. We would try to get her to see the doctor. Anyone who could help. She finally went to a new therapist who referred to a dr and she is trying a new anxiety med. She had been on Zoloft and Wellbutrin in the past when she was in her teens but didn't want to be medicated anymore.
It's only been a month or so, but she reports that she is feeling much better. She's not up all night worried about things that don't need to be worried about. It has taken her a long time to figure out life and it has been anything but a smooth path, but she is finally showing that she's maturing and making good choices. I think if she hadn't realized she needed some help, she wouldn't have finally taken her cosmetology tests (she finished school over a year ago) for licensure and wouldn't have a real job that she loves and she wouldn't have been comfortable letting them know it's been awhile since she's cut hair and asked for some real training before she started. She wouldn't feel good about herself and where she is.
I hope that you are able to have the same successes. There is nothing better than feeling good about yourself and where you're at in life. You deserve to feel that way! Do this for yourself!
I also agree that it will take the right Dr. If yours doesn't respond by coming up with real ideas of how to help you get better, find someone else. You won't get better without help.
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Post by betsyg on Aug 14, 2020 16:28:24 GMT
You do not have to feel this way.
You do not mention how old you are, but ask to have your hormones checked - testosterone and progesterone. I started on those supplements around age 40.
I see a great DO who treats more like a functional medicine doctor. I actually did a genetic test last year on my neurotransmitters and found out that more of my neurotransmitter genes (I think there are 33 genes they tested) have anomalies/mutations than don't and were causing inflammation. The recommendation was to take LDN - low dose naltrexone (4.5 mg). In high doses it's used to treat opioid addiction (50 mg), but in low doses it works to fire on your neurotransmitters helping mood, energy levels and weight loss. It was a game changer for me. I have a renewed energy and outlook that I hadn't had for a long time. I'm turning 48 this weekend.
Also ask her to check for an MTHFR mutation. It's estimated that 60% of people have an MTHFR mutation which interferes with methylation and the body's ability to detox. If you do have a variant in your MTHFR gene, you simply take a Methylated Vit B. You can buy them over the counter. But, taking a regular B vitamin when you have this mutation can actually cause more problems. This should be a simple blood test.
If you do go the route of anti-depressants, I had great luck with Viibryd (Vilazodone). No side effects. Unfortunately, there isn't a generic and it is quite costly, but it was worth it to help me see the forest from the trees.
Good luck. I hope you find some resolution. And, if your doctor won't look into these things, maybe find a DO or functional medicine doctor who will spend the time to dive into your whole health and who will treat your symptoms, not just by the numbers.
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,986
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Aug 14, 2020 16:44:19 GMT
i'm so glad you're seeking help! i felt this way before i was diagnosed- just kinda empty. apathetic. didn't get joy from things i used to. couldn't feel anything at all really, except for intense anger in situations that didn't deserve it. i eventually started making bad choices in an effort to just feel "something", and i almost threw away everything i had. i sought therapy to deal with the harmful behaviors, and also started antidepressants. they both helped me a lot. i am still on medication now, about 10 years later, and i am trying to accept that i probably always will be. it's a chemical imbalance in my brain, it isn't going away apparently. every time i try to stop meds i am reminded of that. i also have hashimoto's and the associated thyroid symptoms. i had to try a couple different meds until i found one that made me feel right. zoloft was my favorite, but eventually i moved on to prozac because it has less sexual side effects than zoloft, and i'm happy with it. anyway, just wanted to sit by you and pat your knee and say me too. and it can get better.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,437
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Aug 14, 2020 16:48:10 GMT
tracyarts I follow a few functional medicine doctors and they say just because it's common doesn't mean its normal. Sometimes it's hard enough to get doctors to listen then they only treat the symptoms not the underlying cause. Hair loss, weight gain, fatigue are all symptoms of hypothyroidism. Just because your levels are "normal" doesn't make them acceptable. Say normal was 50-150 if you are at 51 or 145 the doctor will say you are in the normal range. I wouldn't consider that normal if I was still feeling crappy, normal should probably be the middle of the road. Maybe your thyroid is fine and you also have depression. Good luck in finding out what's wrong.
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leeny
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,637
Location: Northern California
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Aug 14, 2020 16:55:55 GMT
I want to give you ((hugs)) and encourage you to see a therapist or specialist. Don't settle for your general practitioner who may just medicate you and not help get to root reasons that may be there in addition to physical issues.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Aug 14, 2020 17:05:46 GMT
I’m sorry you are going through this.
My suggestion is to write down every single thing you are feeling. Write down physical symptoms, mental issues, and triggers that make it worse. Note how you feel throughout the day, from waking up, until going to bed.
Explain your relationship with family member and how the way you are feeling effects these relationships. Make sure she understands whether these relationships are adding to your feelings or if your feeling are causing issues with the relationships.
Don’t let the doctor minimize your feelings or get wrapped up in diet or weight. Your weight is a symptom not a cause of the way you feel. A healthy diet will add to feeling better, but it won’t cure depression or anxiety.
Getting better an be a slow process, don’t give up. Best of luck to feeling better soon
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
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Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Aug 14, 2020 17:06:14 GMT
Undertreated thyroid disease can cause or exacerbate depression. Your other symptoms seem like hypothyroid to me. I will tell you now, after suffering from hypo for 30 years, "normal" ranges are not optimal. I too was on SSRIs for everything from PMDD to depression. Nothing helped until I found a doctor who ran full labs and treated my hypothyroidism symptoms. Please consider getting a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) opinion.
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Post by craftedbys on Aug 14, 2020 17:59:58 GMT
tracyarts I follow a few functional medicine doctors and they say just because it's common doesn't mean its normal. Sometimes it's hard enough to get doctors to listen then they only treat the symptoms not the underlying cause. Hair loss, weight gain, fatigue are all symptoms of hypothyroidism. Just because your levels are "normal" doesn't make them acceptable. Say normal was 50-150 if you are at 51 or 145 the doctor will say you are in the normal range. I wouldn't consider that normal if I was still feeling crappy, normal should probably be the middle of the road. Maybe your thyroid is fine and you also have depression. Good luck in finding out what's wrong. Thank you! I have been dealing with this for years! I have nodules on my thyroid but because my numbers are within the "normal" range, (even if it is within one tenth of a percent of normal) none of the doctors will even consider that there could be any issue.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Aug 14, 2020 18:20:58 GMT
Wellbutrin does not suppress your sex drive or affect weight. Celexa kills your sex drive. This would be a good start. Cipralex was not a good drug for me and I would never take it again. I shopped as it didn’t curb the urge to spend money with bipolar. Effexor made me sweat constantly. I like Pristiq because it keeps me happy. I am pretty happy these days.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Aug 14, 2020 18:33:53 GMT
Good for you for taking the first step. I hope you have a doctor who will really listen and try to get to the bottom of what is going on. Too many of them seem to see an overweight woman and tell her to lose weight when something treatable may be causing the symptoms and the weight.
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Post by tommygirl on Aug 14, 2020 18:35:19 GMT
Good for you for addressing the issues you are having! I think the doctor is a great first step. They can determine if there is a need for medication to help your body out if your levels are off. I would actively seek out a therapist whether you are given medication or not. It just helps to talk things out. The trick is finding the right one for you. If the first one you try doesn't click with you don't give up. Try another. Avoid alcohol right now (it's a depressant and will just further numb your feelings). Try to get out into nature. They say it is one of the best free things you can do! I am not an outdoorsy girl but I have noticed that it does help me. Move your body every day. Take a walk outside if you can. If the weather is bad you may need to find an air conditioned mall that is open to walk in. With the pandemic it is easy to sit inside of our houses, but it really isn't good for us to be isolated socially.
I hope you will get some answers and some action steps to help you feel back to yourself again!!
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Post by kernriver on Aug 14, 2020 18:46:29 GMT
Antidepressants aren’t happy pills. What you describe sounds like how I was before Prozac. I had two little kids and a husband that needed tending. I never stopped doing things I just stopped enjoying anything. 6 weeks after I swallowed that first pill I felt better. I no longer had ‘chores’ to do but had a life to live. Several people that I did not know well commented on my change. And it wasn’t giddy happiness just an ability to engage and respond. I highly recommend asking about antidepressants. I initially resisted but my shrink said I could stop if I didn’t like them. That was 25 years ago. I also want to say that in discussing my problems it was discovered that I had a family history of depression and had probably been depressed from a very early age. That’s why I have stayed on them. Many people are able to stop after a period of time.
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Post by shanniebananie on Aug 15, 2020 0:54:34 GMT
Thank you all for the kind words and for sharing your experiences. I hate that so many of us are suffering through this and that the medical community is so slow to hear our pleas. I will be seeing a brand new doctor and I am hopeful she listens to me but I am ready to keep chipping away at this until I can get some positive results. I really hope I am not just told to join Weight Watchers and be sent on my way. I will keep you all posted.
Again, thank you so much to those who shared their stories. I can relate to all and I hope I can start taking control of my life again.
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peabandj
Shy Member
Posts: 33
Jun 30, 2014 23:38:37 GMT
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Post by peabandj on Aug 15, 2020 1:04:17 GMT
My word of advice is don't be discouraged if the first anti-depressant you take doesn't work. There are a ton on the market and all work a little bit differently. I felt like it took forever to find the one that worked for me, but now that I've found it, I finally feel like a real human being again! Also, if your new doctor doesn't want to prescribe them, consider a psychiatrist. My PCP doesn't like to do anxiety meds and referred me to one, and they're extremely helpful! My non-medical opinion is to try Wellbutrin first. Like other have said, it doesn't kill sex drive and actually has weight loss as a side effect. Also, there are genetic testings now for anti-depressants and anxiety meds. Genesight and Genomind are the two biggest ones on the market and are relatively low cost.I
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,456
Jul 6, 2014 23:59:59 GMT
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Post by peasquared on Aug 15, 2020 2:09:25 GMT
Good for you for advocating for yourself. I hope you get a doctor who really listens and is able to help you! Best of luck to you!! Better days are ahead. <3
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Post by kluski on Aug 15, 2020 2:35:30 GMT
I too could have written this post. I’ve thought of calling my PC a bazillion times but never follow through. I don’t even know where to begin to find a therapist. The negative self talk that happens in my head every day is ridiculous. I know I have anxiety but there’s definitely something else too.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 15, 2020 2:46:31 GMT
tracyarts - please tell me she isn't your pcp anymore
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Post by paulao on Aug 15, 2020 13:55:24 GMT
Do not rely on medication alone. You also need talk therapy, preferably cognitive behavior therapy. Several years ago I went into a major depression following the deaths of 3 family members within 3 months. My doctor put me on an anti depressant and I also started therapy to get over the grief and help me change the way I see things. You can ask your doctor, insurance company, friends, heck, even Google CBT near me for the names of therapists. I wish you well on the journey to a new you.
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Post by librarylady on Aug 15, 2020 14:14:18 GMT
Did anyone else wonder what DR was a new abbreviation for? (bad grammar I know)
I did a mental run through--DH, DD, DS, etc and wondered what DR was meaning. Opened the thread and then did a head slap "DUH."
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 15, 2020 14:29:22 GMT
I am sorry you are feeling this way. If I were in your shoes, and I have been in your shoes, my first stop would be to the primary care doctor. I would want a full blood work up. If the primary care doctor dismisses you, I would go straight to an endocrinologist. I have hypothyroid and pcos. The Endo can help with those. Treat that first.
Then once I got all that under control, I'd be heading straight to a psychiatrist. I would want a professional diagnosis. I have bipolar.
And in the meantime while you are figuring all this stuff out, I recommend a therapist. First to deal with your current mental state. This is where you deal with your past and present and make plans for your future. And then you do CBT. CBT will give you tools to deal with depression when medication isn't enough.
Anyway, I'm sorry youre going through this. I wish you nothing but the best.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Aug 15, 2020 14:33:34 GMT
I am glad that you are working on improving your life. I think talking to your doctor is important, especially since it sounds like your thyroid levels aren't optimal for you, even If they are in the "normal" range. However, don't underestimate the importance of lifestyle factors. This thread is indicative of the attitude that people want meds instead of looking at what is causing the underlying issues that they have. Medications have a place, but they aren't everything and you don't want to be just using a band aid to cover the symptoms without addressing the underlying cause (that goes for mental and physical health issues). Also, regardless of whether or not you take an antidepressant, therapy and lifestyle changes are helpful at improving mental and physical health. Good sleep, activity (walking outside is great for mental health), limiting caffeine, sugar and processed food, engaging in activities that you enjoy, etc are all important.
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Post by cannmom on Aug 15, 2020 15:17:07 GMT
Antidepressants aren’t happy pills. What you describe sounds like how I was before Prozac. I had two little kids and a husband that needed tending. I never stopped doing things I just stopped enjoying anything. 6 weeks after I swallowed that first pill I felt better. I no longer had ‘chores’ to do but had a life to live. Several people that I did not know well commented on my change. And it wasn’t giddy happiness just an ability to engage and respond. I highly recommend asking about antidepressants. I initially resisted but my shrink said I could stop if I didn’t like them. That was 25 years ago. I also want to say that in discussing my problems it was discovered that I had a family history of depression and had probably been depressed from a very early age. That’s why I have stayed on them. Many people are able to stop after a period of time. This. Before I started Prozac I would never have described myself as depressed, but I was just existing and taking no pleasure in anything. Now, I feel like I am living again. Also, if the first med you try doesn’t have an effect try something else. I was started on Lexapro and it did nothing for me. I thought it meant medication couldn’t help me. Thankfully my Dr said no try something else.
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