sueg
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,112
Location: Munich
Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Dec 12, 2020 12:21:29 GMT
The whole idea (I thought) was it was a nice surprise for someone, not a YOU MUST DO THIS OR YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON. To say nothing of the fact that it really takes away from the surprise and good feeling of someone doing something nice for you, if it ends up costing you more than the original surprise saved you.
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,598
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Dec 12, 2020 12:26:19 GMT
I’ve had it happen to me a few times. The first I remember it happening I don’t remember if anyone was behind me or not. I was having a shit day and that act of kindness really meant a lot. The last time I remember it happening, I was taken by surprise (as most probably are) but also was in a tight spot. I just didn’t think to pay it forward. I did the next time I went thru a drive they though.
I like to think that that broke college kid just got blessed in that moment and could use it as a moment to be lifted up. Instead that’s been tainted by others responses.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 12, 2020 12:27:39 GMT
Shame on the employees (including, and especially, their management for poor training)! They should simply tell the RAK receiver “your order was paid for by the car/person ahead of you”. Period. That’s it. If that person decides to pay for the next order, ok but there should be absolutely no mention of it. None.
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Post by Really Red on Dec 12, 2020 13:21:27 GMT
Yesterday I decided to pay for the car behind me at BK. I had never heard that there was an expectation that that car should pay for the car behind them. I probably wouldn’t have done it if I thought they might feel pressured to buy for someone else. What an absolutely shitty way to ruin a nice gesture. I don’t think that I’ll do it any more this holiday season and find something else nice to do. Yes.
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Post by auntkelly on Dec 12, 2020 13:38:38 GMT
I think the story sounds made up, but if true, I don’t think the college student was was a Scrooge for not picking up the tab behind him.
Paying for a stranger’s cup of coffee is one thing, but at a time when charities desperately need money to help those in need, I’d much rather throw some money in the Salvation Army pot or give to the regional food bank than pay for some stranger’s meal at McDonalds. That stranger might be a multimillionaire.
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Post by SockMonkey on Dec 12, 2020 13:56:02 GMT
Pay it forward is nice, but no one should feel obligated. Giving people crap about not doing it kind of ruins the whole thing. It's an act of kindness that should carry no expectations. Period.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,527
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Dec 12, 2020 14:07:33 GMT
The people working the window should just say that the car ahead of you paid for your food and leave it at that. Don't ask if they want to keep it going. I'm just imagining my 17 year old daughter using her points to get a free drink and then being asked if she wants to pay $10 for the car behind her. I sure hope she'd say no.
I did this once at a food buying program. Usually it is not a drive by thing, but because of Covid it was. You pay $20 for a share. The cost for everyone is the same. I hope the car behind me took it as the surprise gift that it was intended to be. However, if it would have become a PIF type of thing the cost would have been predictable. Everyone showed up ready to pay $20.
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Post by whipea on Dec 12, 2020 14:28:10 GMT
Never heard of this. Seems rude and pretentious.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,501
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Dec 12, 2020 15:30:46 GMT
No, I don’t think he was a Scrooge at all. I was in one of those lines once at Starbucks and was going to use my star rewards to buy my drink, I didn’t have any extra money at the time and the only reason I was getting a drink was because it was my free drink. The person behind me 5 drinks! Imagine how much that bill would have been. I told them they could use my stars on one of their drinks, but I couldn’t pay the rest of the bill. I felt awful, but honestly I didn’t have an extra 25 or so to pay. I still feel embarrassed about it, DO NOT feel embarrassed about it!
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Dec 12, 2020 15:35:32 GMT
I sometimes pay for the coffee of the person behind me (I always ask how much their order is first! Lol) and I’d be super embarrassed if the cashier took it upon herself to try to turn it into a chain of obligation. The last time I did it, the guy behind me followed me down the street to the thrift shop and got out of his car to thank me! He just couldn’t understand why I’d paid for his coffee.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Dec 12, 2020 15:42:52 GMT
nobody should know if someone breaks the chain. At this time of year, if I go to Dunks, I will pay for the person behind me. I have never had the expectation that the person behind me would pay for the person behind them. I don’t think any one should feel obligated unless they want to.
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Post by KikiPea on Dec 12, 2020 15:47:33 GMT
No, he was not a Scrooge. He couldn’t afford it.
Also, when I pay for someone behind me, I do not expect that person to do the same. To me, paying it forward just means doing something nice for someone. For instance, I pay for someone’s meal. Then, that person goes out and helps an elderly person cross the street. “Paying” it forward does not always mean in a monetary way.
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Post by littlemama on Dec 12, 2020 16:34:51 GMT
I was unaware that pay it forward was an obligation. This shouldn't even be a discussion.
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 12, 2020 16:36:56 GMT
I suspect that people who think that have more money than the broke college student. Or their parents do.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,557
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Dec 12, 2020 16:37:12 GMT
This story makes me really sad. I have never thought that if someone pays for you that you are obligated to pay for the next person. I would hate to think that me paying for some kids coffee and sandwich causing him to feel obligated to pay $24 for the car behind him. That's just dumb.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,301
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Dec 12, 2020 16:40:02 GMT
No, that's ridiculous.
My younger half sister is a single mom with three kids. She WAS working on her Ph.D but had to quit as she just couldn't afford to keep it up. She was broke for years and loves Starbucks so I like to get her gift cards as that's a splurge for her. Not everyone going through a drive thru can afford to pay for more than their own.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,557
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Dec 12, 2020 16:40:47 GMT
I agree that the guy wasn't a scrooge and didn't deserve the hate. I'm well off and drive a new luxury car after years of scrimping and saving, and I would be embarrassed if a poor college student or someone struggling felt obligated to pay for my bill. I'd want to pay for them. I've been in their shoes, and I know how going out to eat is a rare treat that's strictly budgeted into your month. I have never liked putting people in tough spots where they feel obligated and reminded of what they don't have. The best RAK I've heard of recently was a man who bought a $208 Dunkin gift card and gave it to the workers to use to pay for people's food until it ran out. He explained that his wife had recently died, and he figured out how much money she would have spent on Dunkin. So he decided to gift that money to other customers. He bought food for him and his young son, and they sat out in their car and watched the people get free food. *That's how you do a chain* I love this idea!! I am going to do this sometime.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,359
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Dec 12, 2020 17:03:55 GMT
I’m so glad to read this thread. I really thought I was the only one that hated the whole idea of a kindness chain at a drive thru. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Who are you blessing if everyone just pays for the person behind them?
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Post by peanutterbutter on Dec 12, 2020 18:53:04 GMT
I agree, i thought paying for the person behind you is just supposed to be a RAK, I would not expect them to pay for the next. Like others have said, that just may not be possible due to budgets, payment methods etc.
To me "pay it forward" means that at some point when it's feasible for you, you will do something nice/RAK someone else, its's not right there on that same spot.
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Post by silverlining on Dec 12, 2020 19:06:44 GMT
Yikes, I didn't know that people doing something kind were then requiring other people to do something! That defeats the purpose of being generous if strings are attached.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Dec 12, 2020 19:48:10 GMT
I love the spirit of paying it forward, when it is MY choice. I have done a PIF in a drive through line, when the car behind me was a police car.
I've also had the car in front of me at Starbucks pay for my drinks, not as a part of a line (that I know of, anyway) and it made me tear up. I had honestly debated skipping it that day because I had my son with me and the price of 2 drinks is a lot! I appreciated that they paid for me, but I didn't pay for the car behind me and, at the time, didn't realize that was even a thing.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 12, 2020 20:41:34 GMT
This thread may go down in pea history......over 200 votes and still unanimous. Has that *ever* happened before? 😳
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Dec 12, 2020 21:19:40 GMT
I read AITA subreddit sometimes. In my opinion there are a lot of assholes commenting on it. People who enjoy judging others, freely and perpetually. It’s long lost it’s original intent.
I’d take their judgement on this with a grain of salt, if I was him. I don’t think he’s an asshole.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Dec 12, 2020 21:41:47 GMT
That’s not how pay it forward works. It’s meant to be spontaneous and unexpected.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Dec 12, 2020 21:53:14 GMT
This thread may go down in pea history......over 200 votes and still unanimous. Has that *ever* happened before? 😳 Yay for Unity ☺️ But oh boy I hope no body feels expected to not vote yes lol Just follow your heart ☺️
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Dec 12, 2020 21:57:03 GMT
I love the spirit of paying it forward, when it is MY choice. I have done a PIF in a drive through line, when the car behind me was a police car. I've also had the car in front of me at Starbucks pay for my drinks, not as a part of a line (that I know of, anyway) and it made me tear up. I had honestly debated skipping it that day because I had my son with me and the price of 2 drinks is a lot! I appreciated that they paid for me, but I didn't pay for the car behind me and, at the time, didn't realize that was even a thing. Yes when it is your choice. It’s like you can feel when that opportunity has come and it’s a beautiful thing.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Dec 12, 2020 22:02:27 GMT
I’m so glad to read this thread. I really thought I was the only one that hated the whole idea of a kindness chain at a drive thru. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Who are you blessing if everyone just pays for the person behind them? Yeah, there’s no magic there. The same goes for when they don’t want to accept it. It took a little coaxing for this customer to receive that their groceries were being paid for. I was dancing in the energy because a pay it forward was being witnessed and I told the customer it’s an opportunity for them to do the same for someone else in the near or far future... not for the person behind them.
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Post by fredfreddy44 on Dec 12, 2020 23:33:43 GMT
No he was not a scrooge and Yahoo "News" is super lazy to call a copied reddit thread "news".
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Post by maryland on Dec 12, 2020 23:51:42 GMT
Not a scrooge! You shouldn't feel obligated to pay for others just because some are doing it.
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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 13, 2020 1:14:50 GMT
My poor 86 year old mom got caught in one of those and was so bewildered. She only had enough to pay for her "senior McChicken and senior drink" - and if you have any seniors in your life you know that is $3.93 WHICH IS EXPENSIVE ENOUGH I'M ON A BUDGET YOU KNOW! . Anyway, she tried to pay for her meal, and was told it was taken care of. BUT wait because the car behind you is $17.66 and would you "pay it forward". Poor thing. She kept telling the cashier that she only had $5, and the cashier kept telling her that wasn't enough. then she said, just let me pay for my own then, but it was too late for that too. She left her $5 with the cashier, came home and called me extremely upset that someone was mad at her. This makes me really sad for your mum and also angry at the cashier. I would have been very tempted to make a complaint to management about it. In fact, fast food places should make it part of their training of staff that they are NOT to request / suggest / co-erce / shame anyone into paying for anyone else's meals. In fact they should be actively discouraging it. "Hello, here's your meal, the person in front has paid for it." "Oh how lovely, well how much is the meal for the person behind me? I'll pay for that." "There is no obligation for you to do that, maybe you could do it another time."
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