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Post by katlady on Dec 12, 2020 3:30:41 GMT
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Post by padresfan619 on Dec 12, 2020 3:34:53 GMT
I hate the pay it forward line in drive thrus. I’m there to buy my own meal, I have a budget, let me pay for my own order don’t try to guilt me into paying for others. The closest I’d get to it is if I were able to pay the same portion my original order cost to the person behind me.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,036 
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Post by used2scrap on Dec 12, 2020 3:36:40 GMT
Honestly I hate the “pay it forward” mentality. If someone buys your coffee/meal yet you’re then obligated to buy the next, it’s hardly random or charitable. IMO the spirit is you buy for someone and they have ZERO obligation or expectation at that point that they then buy for someone else. IMO the spirit it’s given is for the immediate recipient to feel joy and be blessed. At some point later they if they are blessed and moved to give so be it, but what’s the point of “obligating” an entire drive through line to “give”? Never mind if they can’t pay...That’s not charitable giving.
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Dec 12, 2020 3:40:32 GMT
Good grief, no. I hate these kinds of things. He’s under no obligation and it’s shitty people are making him feel guilty. Gifts, like paying it forward, should be given and received freely with no pressure to reciprocate.
I’ve been in the exact situation and I did not have extra money to buy four Frappuccino for the car behind me when I had scraped up enough money for my drip coffee. Fortunately nobody made me feel guilty and I was able to enjoy the gift the car in front of me was giving.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Dec 12, 2020 3:41:34 GMT
Absolutely not. He can do it another time.
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Post by mikewozowski on Dec 12, 2020 3:44:27 GMT
nobody should know if someone breaks the chain.
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 12, 2020 3:45:36 GMT
No, I don’t think he was a Scrooge at all. I was in one of those lines once at Starbucks and was going to use my star rewards to buy my drink, I didn’t have any extra money at the time and the only reason I was getting a drink was because it was my free drink. The person behind me 5 drinks! Imagine how much that bill would have been. I told them they could use my stars on one of their drinks, but I couldn’t pay the rest of the bill. I felt awful, but honestly I didn’t have an extra 25 or so to pay. I still feel embarrassed about it,
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Dec 12, 2020 3:46:19 GMT
It is what we have become. No grace. I think ooh how many people right here on this board who say they don't carry cash. I know I don't carry more then I need for my errands.
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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 12, 2020 4:03:35 GMT
This is just bewildering. What on earth is the point of "paying it forward" if every single person in line is expected to do it? I thought it was just a random thing that people sometimes did, not that every single person in the line that day is expected to do. How ridiculous.
I went to KFC the other day to buy two of the big share packs, for 6 people. It cost me close to $70. Imagine if the person in front of me was a student who went in to buy a $2 meal, and was shamed for not paying for mine?
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Post by elaine on Dec 12, 2020 4:09:42 GMT
Yesterday I decided to pay for the car behind me at BK. I had never heard that there was an expectation that that car should pay for the car behind them.
I probably wouldn’t have done it if I thought they might feel pressured to buy for someone else.
What an absolutely shitty way to ruin a nice gesture. I don’t think that I’ll do it any more this holiday season and find something else nice to do.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Dec 12, 2020 4:15:26 GMT
nobody should know if someone breaks the chain. This right here. And the whole Pay it Forward bs? This version is the same sick, twisted version as all the internet influencers that film themselves giving something to a homeless person for the internet points. |
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,437
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Dec 12, 2020 5:38:10 GMT
nobody should know if someone breaks the chain. Why is it supposed to even be a chain? Wasn't the original purpose just to pay for a single person behind you. And yeah I'm sure chains get broken all the time, why is this person getting ratted on? |
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Post by catmom on Dec 12, 2020 5:45:18 GMT
I've never heard of such a thing! I mean I've heard of paying it forward, but that's more like, next time I'm at Starbucks or wherever and I see someone maybe struggling or looking like they could use a pick me up, then I treat them if I'm financially able. How did people manage to turn something quite nice into something guilt-laden and irritating and vaguely icky??
Forgot to add: no he's definitely not a scrooge.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Dec 12, 2020 5:47:02 GMT
nobody should know if someone breaks the chain. But a RAK shouldn't have to be "a chain". When I read stories like this, it makes me think of those stupid chain letters people used to send in the mail, saying not to break it for fear of bad luck, etc. I have been the recipient of a RAK once at Starbucks and once at Chick-Fil-A. Neither time did they ask me if I wanted to pay for the person behind me, which is how it should be. IMO, the student should have complained to the management of that McDonald's. The staff there was very unprofessional in shaming him. And shame on his mother for calling him cheap! |
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Post by dewryce on Dec 12, 2020 7:10:44 GMT
When did this chain PIF become a thing? I’ve never heard of that!
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Dec 12, 2020 7:24:12 GMT
I don't think anyone should be obligated to pay it forward.
Paying it forward should be a random unexpected surprise, with no expectations in return.
Quite honestly, the fast food (or any business) workers shouldn't shame someone because they decline on paying it forward to the car behind them. They have no idea about what any of their customers financial situation is. Just because one person does it, doesn't mean everyone behind them has to follow.
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Post by miominmio on Dec 12, 2020 7:26:42 GMT
Soooo, if this is the expectation, the smart thing to do would be this scenario: a group of six let one of them go into the restaurant on their own, pay for the meal for a single person, and now that person will be shamed into buying for the group of five who are behind him. RAK should be exactly that; a random act of kindness, it is neither random nor kind when BS like this happens (and I sincerely hope that this is not a US fad that will get traction here).
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
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Post by M in Carolina on Dec 12, 2020 7:33:20 GMT
I agree that the guy wasn't a scrooge and didn't deserve the hate. I'm well off and drive a new luxury car after years of scrimping and saving, and I would be embarrassed if a poor college student or someone struggling felt obligated to pay for my bill. I'd want to pay for them. I've been in their shoes, and I know how going out to eat is a rare treat that's strictly budgeted into your month. I have never liked putting people in tough spots where they feel obligated and reminded of what they don't have.
The best RAK I've heard of recently was a man who bought a $208 Dunkin gift card and gave it to the workers to use to pay for people's food until it ran out. He explained that his wife had recently died, and he figured out how much money she would have spent on Dunkin. So he decided to gift that money to other customers. He bought food for him and his young son, and they sat out in their car and watched the people get free food. *That's how you do a chain*
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 6:46:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2020 7:52:08 GMT
Of course he wasn't a Scrooge. Not everyone can afford to participate in these things and shouldn't be shamed for that.
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Post by myboysnme on Dec 12, 2020 9:05:38 GMT
I decided I am just tipping the cashier instead. They are always surprised and costs me maybe $2.
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Post by gar on Dec 12, 2020 9:14:22 GMT
What an absolutely shitty way to ruin a nice gesture. That's my feeling. It should be spontaneous and random, and that sounds anything but that. What nonsense. |
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Post by Lindarina on Dec 12, 2020 9:41:22 GMT
That’s just crazy. Everyone paying the next persons order at a drive through has absolutely nothing to do with neither charity or RAK. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!
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joelise
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,649
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Post by joelise on Dec 12, 2020 9:52:36 GMT
I’ve never heard of this before. What a ridiculous thing to do. I get RAKs but the chain thing is just crazy!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 6:46:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2020 10:39:59 GMT
Not a scrooge at all. A RAK shouldn't become a chain and a pay it forward should cover the next person behind you and finish. The recipient can, if they so wish and can afford it do it , spontaneously do so to another at a future date. Not everyone is in a position to " play the game"
I think it was dreadfully rude of the server to say what they did to him too.
I don't get this " I did it so you have to do it too"
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craftykitten
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,304
Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Dec 12, 2020 10:55:22 GMT
I'd be mad at the servers for being rude to him. He's not a scrooge.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
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Post by kibblesandbits on Dec 12, 2020 11:50:22 GMT
My poor 86 year old mom got caught in one of those and was so bewildered. She only had enough to pay for her "senior McChicken and senior drink" - and if you have any seniors in your life you know that is $3.93 WHICH IS EXPENSIVE ENOUGH I'M ON A BUDGET YOU KNOW!  . Anyway, she tried to pay for her meal, and was told it was taken care of. BUT wait because the car behind you is $17.66 and would you "pay it forward". Poor thing. She kept telling the cashier that she only had $5, and the cashier kept telling her that wasn't enough. then she said, just let me pay for my own then, but it was too late for that too. She left her $5 with the cashier, came home and called me extremely upset that someone was mad at her. So, no. I hate the freaking "pay it forward" movement. Its one thing if you leave money to pay for someone else, but the "cash train" is terribly flawed. |
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 12, 2020 12:01:50 GMT
My poor 86 year old mom got caught in one of those and was so bewildered. She only had enough to pay for her "senior McChicken and senior drink" - and if you have any seniors in your life you know that is $3.93 WHICH IS EXPENSIVE ENOUGH I'M ON A BUDGET YOU KNOW! . Anyway, she tried to pay for her meal, and was told it was taken care of. BUT wait because the car behind you is $17.66 and would you "pay it forward". Poor thing. She kept telling the cashier that she only had $5, and the cashier kept telling her that wasn't enough. then she said, just let me pay for my own then, but it was too late for that too. She left her $5 with the cashier, came home and called me extremely upset that someone was mad at her. So, no. I hate the freaking "pay it forward" movement. Its one thing if you leave money to pay for someone else, but the "cash train" is terribly flawed. I agree, 100%. I said the same to DH a couple nights ago when there was a story about this. I know so many people that can't afford to pay for the car behind them, but would out of guilt. |
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 12, 2020 12:03:38 GMT
THis thread makes me feel so much better. A haven of sense in a foolish world. I read the recent report of such a chain making it to 900 cars, and all I could think was how upset I’d be if cheap me buying my $2 lunch got caught in one.
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 7,889
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Dec 12, 2020 12:07:23 GMT
I felt awful, but honestly I didn’t have an extra 25 or so to pay. I still feel embarrassed about it, She left her $5 with the cashier, came home and called me extremely upset that someone was mad at her. The whole idea (I thought) was it was a nice surprise for someone, not a YOU MUST DO THIS OR YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON. However, we also live in a society where people feel the need to do a "kind deed" and then post all over social media about it. That defeats the purpose, IMO. Shame on those workers and shame on his mother. People need to learn a little freaking empathy, too. |
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Dec 12, 2020 12:19:16 GMT
My poor 86 year old mom got caught in one of those and was so bewildered. She only had enough to pay for her "senior McChicken and senior drink" - and if you have any seniors in your life you know that is $3.93 WHICH IS EXPENSIVE ENOUGH I'M ON A BUDGET YOU KNOW! . Anyway, she tried to pay for her meal, and was told it was taken care of. BUT wait because the car behind you is $17.66 and would you "pay it forward". Poor thing. She kept telling the cashier that she only had $5, and the cashier kept telling her that wasn't enough. then she said, just let me pay for my own then, but it was too late for that too. She left her $5 with the cashier, came home and called me extremely upset that someone was mad at her. So, no. I hate the freaking "pay it forward" movement. Its one thing if you leave money to pay for someone else, but the "cash train" is terribly flawed. Damn. Give me her address. I want to RAK her a McDonald’s gift card! No paying it forward expected! (Obviously, don’t, but that was my first thought after reading this!) I didn't know chain RAKs were a thing. I’ve never been in one. Now I want to just so I can break the chain and tell the cashier why. Then I can go pay it forward somewhere and sometime else when I am able/choose. |
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Southern Side eyed Pea 
. Anyway, she tried to pay for her meal, and was told it was taken care of. BUT wait because the car behind you is $17.66 and would you "pay it forward". Poor thing. She kept telling the cashier that she only had $5, and the cashier kept telling her that wasn't enough. then she said, just let me pay for my own then, but it was too late for that too. She left her $5 with the cashier, came home and called me extremely upset that someone was mad at her.
