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Post by destined2bmom on Jan 28, 2021 17:19:08 GMT
I am so sorry for the loss of your FIL. Please accept my deepest sympathies. I am sending prayers for you and your family.
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Belle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,309
Jun 28, 2014 4:39:12 GMT
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Post by Belle on Jan 28, 2021 17:27:13 GMT
I am so sorry.
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Post by scrapcat on Jan 28, 2021 17:40:28 GMT
So sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing this story.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
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Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Jan 28, 2021 17:43:37 GMT
So sorry for you & your family’s loss.
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Post by jlynnbarth on Jan 28, 2021 19:32:45 GMT
Thank you all for you kind words. It really does help the healing/grieving process to know that others care enough to say kind words to a basic stranger on the internet. Truly, you've brought me some peace.
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Post by shamrock on Jan 28, 2021 20:39:16 GMT
I’m sorry for your family’s loss.
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Post by stumpedagainof3 on Jan 28, 2021 20:54:19 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by holly on Jan 28, 2021 21:04:09 GMT
I’m so sorry 😢
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 28, 2021 21:28:24 GMT
I'm very sorry for the loss of your fil. May his memory be for a blessing to all who knew him.
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Post by lurker on Jan 28, 2021 21:29:29 GMT
So sorry for your loss. He was blessed for many years to have your family care for him.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,894
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jan 28, 2021 21:36:32 GMT
Feeling sad. My FIL passed away from Covid yesterday. We moved to WA in March 01’ to take care of my FIL, as he had epilepsy and couldn’t live alone any longer. We found a Dr. that found the right medication for him and his seizures only happened once in a while instead of weekly. He lived with us for 15 years before we had to move him into assisted living. He unfortunately got dementia and with us both needing to work, he couldn’t be home alone. He was falling and it just wasn’t safe anymore. The past 5 years he’s been in a home just a few blocks from our house, so we could see him whenever we wanted/could. The home did an excellent job of keeping Covid out of the facility for 10 months. They had not one case of Covid. It was one of the only homes that could say that. The home called us and asked us if we wanted Dad to get the vaccine as they would begin giving them Jan 19. We of course said yes. Unfortunately on Dec 31 someone contracted the virus and brought it into the facility. We got a call 2 weeks ago saying that Dad complained of a sore throat (he never in almost 20 years, ever had a sore throat, cold, flu etc... great immune system I guess lol) and so they tested him and he tested positive. They moved him out of his regular room and into the Covid unit they had set up. They called 9 days ago to say he was having issues breathing, so they were sending him to the hospital. They gave him all the Covid protocol meds and had him on a high rate of oxygen. The Dr and nurses were awesome. They called everyday with updates. One day the dr called to tell me that Dad was very upset and panicked. (He would forget where he was and would pull off his oxygen, which of course would cause him to not be able to breathe). The Dr. said he asked him “Do you know where you are?” and Dad said “I’m in mayhem!” Lol he wasn’t wrong lol Then the Dr asked him what year it was and he said 2008. Then he asked who was the President and Dad said “the black man, I can’t remember his name”, right President for that year. Lol Yesterday I got a call that things had gotten worse overnight and they had to put an oxygen mask on him rather than just the nasal kind, and Dad was having none of it. They had to restrain him. He said Dad more than likely had a blood clot in his lungs, because his ditimer reading was really high, but they couldn’t do the test to see if there was because they’d have to take him off the oxygen, which of course would kill him. The Dr said that he unfortunately did not see him ever fully recovering from this and that we should consider quality of life etc.... My dh called his Aunt and his sister and they decided to spare Dad anymore panic and fear by withdrawing care, that 8 days was long enough for him to be upset and scared. My dh’s aunt (Dads older sister) went to the hospital to say her goodbyes (thinking we would have at least another day) and she was able to hold his hand and talk to him as he passed. She called me at work to tell me he was gone. I was shocked it happened so quickly. I jumped in my car to meet my dh at home (he left work early so he could go to the hospital, thinking we had time) and I had to tell him the news. 😢 It’s hard to believe that after all Dad’s issues with his health, that this is the thing that took him out. We didn’t think he’d make it 5 years when we moved here. He had kidney failure and was on dialysis back in 1989, his epilepsy (seizure syndrome from alcoholism), a heart issue caused by a bad seizure, 2 falls leading to a broken hip, clogged arteries due to calcium build up from smoking, which lead to gangrene and the loss of 2 toes and a bypass surgery and Dementia to top it off. But he never had a cold, flu, sore throat. The man had 9 lives. We blame no one. Everyone truly did their best for a very long time. The caregivers at the home were/are incredible people. The Dr. and nurses at the hospital were wonderful with him and with us. We thank them all for the loving kindness they bestowed on us all. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hate COVID with every fiber of my being. It has robbed us of so many people. I will keep your family in my prayers.
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Jan 28, 2021 22:07:13 GMT
I'm so sorry. It sounds like the excellent care your dh and you gave him all those years did a lot to give him a great extension on his life. May his memory be eternal.
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Post by 1girlygirl on Jan 28, 2021 22:11:52 GMT
I’m so sorry
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quiltz
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Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Jan 28, 2021 23:47:47 GMT
did not see him ever fully recovering from this and that we should consider quality of life etc.... My dh called his Aunt and his sister and they decided to spare Dad anymore panic and fear by withdrawing care, that 8 days was long enough for him to be upset and scared. Thank you for the compassion that you showed by considering the quality of his life vs the quantity of his life. Death is inevitable for all of us, and is difficult to face. Too often a person suffers too long as the decision makers are afraid (?) or scared to make the call that the person has suffered enough. It is difficult, as I had to sign the DNR for both of my parents. Hard decision but I was honouring their wishes.
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Post by mellyw on Jan 29, 2021 0:31:32 GMT
I’m so sorry.
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Post by stormsts on Jan 29, 2021 1:31:25 GMT
Your family has my deepest condolences.
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TheOtherMeg
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,541
Jun 25, 2014 20:58:14 GMT
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Post by TheOtherMeg on Jan 29, 2021 1:40:36 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your FIL.
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purplebee
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Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jan 29, 2021 1:54:55 GMT
So sorry, sounds like he had the best of care and he knew his family loved him.
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brandy327
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Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Jan 29, 2021 2:41:00 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jan 29, 2021 2:49:03 GMT
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
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christinec68
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Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on Jan 29, 2021 3:02:41 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg)
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 29, 2021 3:05:19 GMT
I am so sorry. I will be thinking about your family.
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Post by jlynnbarth on Jan 29, 2021 6:18:33 GMT
did not see him ever fully recovering from this and that we should consider quality of life etc.... My dh called his Aunt and his sister and they decided to spare Dad anymore panic and fear by withdrawing care, that 8 days was long enough for him to be upset and scared. Thank you for the compassion that you showed by considering the quality of his life vs the quantity of his life. Death is inevitable for all of us, and is difficult to face. Too often a person suffers too long as the decision makers are afraid (?) or scared to make the call that the person has suffered enough. It is difficult, as I had to sign the DNR for both of my parents. Hard decision but I was honouring their wishes. It’s the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make with my Mom in 2019. I knew that if she couldn’t lift a book to read she wouldn’t consider life worth living. She hated audible books and ended up giving me her e reader years ago because she just couldn’t make the change from physical books. She also loved to eat and a feeding tube in her belly was not something she would consider living. It killed/s me to make that decision but quality is much more important than quantity in my eyes. I’m glad my dh’s family agreed for Dad. Being scared and panicked every 10 mins (because his dementia was so bad he would forget where and what he was in the hospital for) would be no way to live either. We know it’s the loving decision to make, but it’s so very hard and the guilt of “what if” claws at you all the time. My boss tried to compare keeping my Mom and my FIL on life support with him needing surgery for an appendicitis as a kid. “If I didn’t have the surgery I would have died, what if they find a miracle cure for Covid”? Ummm first you were a child, second the surgery was a cure for your appendicitis, you didn’t need life support to live! But hey, thanks for the added guilt! So I appreciate you understanding. Not everyone feels the same and that’s ok. Everyone has to do what is right for them and their loved ones.
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Post by JoP on Jan 29, 2021 7:06:24 GMT
I’m so very sorry indeed for your loss ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/mYSUyHtG9Jrcmm_ydVcK.jpg)
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AmeliaBloomer
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Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Jan 29, 2021 11:28:57 GMT
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad someone could be with your FIL at the end.
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msladibug
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,533
Jul 10, 2014 2:31:46 GMT
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Post by msladibug on Jan 29, 2021 16:17:08 GMT
My condolences. Your father-inlaw had many hurdles that he made it through. Covid has taken so many loved ones from us. (((hugs)))
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Post by femalebusiness on Jan 29, 2021 16:37:44 GMT
Damned Covid! I am so sorry.
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Post by floridagirl on Jan 29, 2021 19:08:13 GMT
very sorry for your family's loss.
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sassyangel
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Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Jan 29, 2021 19:36:11 GMT
Thank you for the compassion that you showed by considering the quality of his life vs the quantity of his life. Death is inevitable for all of us, and is difficult to face. Too often a person suffers too long as the decision makers are afraid (?) or scared to make the call that the person has suffered enough. It is difficult, as I had to sign the DNR for both of my parents. Hard decision but I was honouring their wishes. It’s the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make with my Mom in 2019. I knew that if she couldn’t lift a book to read she wouldn’t consider life worth living. She hated audible books and ended up giving me her e reader years ago because she just couldn’t make the change from physical books. She also loved to eat and a feeding tube in her belly was not something she would consider living. It killed/s me to make that decision but quality is much more important than quantity in my eyes. I’m glad my dh’s family agreed for Dad. Being scared and panicked every 10 mins (because his dementia was so bad he would forget where and what he was in the hospital for) would be no way to live either. We know it’s the loving decision to make, but it’s so very hard and the guilt of “what if” claws at you all the time. My boss tried to compare keeping my Mom and my FIL on life support with him needing surgery for an appendicitis as a kid. “If I didn’t have the surgery I would have died, what if they find a miracle cure for Covid”? Ummm first you were a child, second the surgery was a cure for your appendicitis, you didn’t need life support to live! But hey, thanks for the added guilt! So I appreciate you understanding. Not everyone feels the same and that’s ok. Everyone has to do what is right for them and their loved ones. Ugh, your boss needs a thoughtless doofus moment smack upside the head. FWiW, I think given his dementia and the medical advice you had, you all made the right decision for him, that allowed him to go peacefully without prolonged pain. While I’m sorry it happened so quickly that you couldn’t all be with him, he was able to leave with same dignity that he lived with. You dont need to have any guilt over that.
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Post by cawoman on Jan 30, 2021 1:40:01 GMT
I enjoyed reading your memories about your FIL. I think he was very fortunate that his family cared enough not to prolong his suffering. Hugs.
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