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Post by maryland on Feb 20, 2021 18:27:03 GMT
I have lots of relatives in SD and they are definitely not all Republicans. Religious, yes. Republicans, no. How can they be religious and not be republican? so they are democrat? interesting! Often very religious people are republican because of the whole pro life thing. My in-laws and my parents are very religious and Democrat. I feel like most "Christian values" are similar to Democrat values (feed/help the poor, help children, love your neighbors, etc.).
My 80 yr. old inlaws are some of the most liberal people I know and very religious. They attend two churches (virtual) and are in bible studies, fellowship groups, etc. My parents are also very involved in their church.
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,471
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Feb 20, 2021 18:27:03 GMT
Before you stop sending him cards entirely, send him one that says Happy Holidays. That should put his knickers in a twist. He's an idiot.
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Post by Laurie on Feb 20, 2021 18:30:33 GMT
1. Please keep him there. I don’t want him here. I really don’t like this encouraging people to move here. It will ruin why people stay in S.D. it’s damn sure not the weather.
2. I love the April Fools idea. Know what would make it better. If we all send him a card. It will be like Suffy’s tie post. It will become one of the legends of this new board. Hell I will send many so he can get a bunch with a SD postmark on it.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 18:51:51 GMT
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 18:59:17 GMT
Before you stop sending him cards entirely, send him one that says Happy Holidays. That should put his knickers in a twist. He's an idiot. Oh, I already do that! LOL
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 19:00:25 GMT
1. Please keep him there. I don’t want him here. I really don’t like this encouraging people to move here. It will ruin why people stay in S.D. it’s damn sure not the weather. 2. I love the April Fools idea. Know what would make it better. If we all send him a card. It will be like Suffy’s tie post. It will become one of the legends of this new board. Hell I will send many so he can get a bunch with a SD postmark on it. OOoh my freaking lord!! that would be HILARIOUS!!! from SD!! This is why I love this place! LOL
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Post by flanz on Feb 20, 2021 19:02:07 GMT
Yeah, this. The problem is with your DH who lets his friends get away with talking like that. I agree. And this isn’t even defending you, but your marriage. Yes! Yes! YES!
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Post by mollycoddle on Feb 20, 2021 19:08:11 GMT
Your husband’s friend is a presumptuous asshole. Even if he was joking.
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Post by epeanymous on Feb 20, 2021 19:14:59 GMT
This must be those “family values” and “sanctity of marriage” people I am always hearing about.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 20, 2021 19:35:45 GMT
It’s not a matter of “needing defending”.
The guy clearly and obviously has zero boundaries as to what he can and will say about a friends wife.
He has ZERO respect for you.
In our household, that sure as fuck would not fly.
I’m sorry that your husband doesn’t have the balls, or respect to stand up and tell him that saying anything about you is not cool and off limits.
I’d be pissed if my hubby didn’t stand up for me. I’m a person with feelings too. I’d like to think that my feelings matter more than his friend to him.
And because I’m a petty bitch, I’d text back and say “hey this is cindyupnorth and since it’s clear as to how you feel about me, and that you feel it’s a-okay to disrespect me and my husband by talking smack about me, I’ll happily lose your address...”
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 20, 2021 19:36:58 GMT
I prefer his gentle nature over an aggressive type of guy. My husband is truly one of the most laid back guys you could ever meet and he still wouldn't let his friend talk about our marriage like that. Same.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 20, 2021 19:43:38 GMT
You are kidding, right? There are MANY religious liberals. Many churches are strong supporters of civil rights for all races and genders. Some even (gasp!) conduct gay marriages! I think you are confusing "religious people" with "fundamentalists." That is the same mistake made by those who equate "muslim" with "radical terrorist." There are many religious people who are Democrats. Frankly, I think Democrats views align more closely with the Bible then Republicans do. Democrats believe in equality, helping others, welcoming our neighbors, etc. I actually think Jesus would be disappointed in the Republicans stance on food stamps, immigration, marriage equality, etc. I have yet to see one thing that many of these religious zealot republican hypocrites have to do with Jesus. Their actions and words are certainly not christ like. They just want to force their beliefs—that most of them don’t practice anyway, onto others.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 20, 2021 19:45:37 GMT
I'm curious how your husband responded back to him. Are you going to bring it up to your dh or keep quiet? My second dh avoids conflict like the plague, almost to the point where I believe he lets people take advantage of him. Except, if someone would say something unseemly to or about me and/or dd. He has a nice way of shutting that down. How does your dh shut them down? My dh didn't respond at all to the text. I'm not sure how to handle it with him. I know we will talk about it. He's all about keeping the peace, and keeping friends, and politics shouldn't make a difference in friends or family. He thinks I take some things too personally. Like blocking my uncle for all his Trump love. I should just suck it up. Like I said before, I'm done with stuff like that. And your hubby is doing all that “peace keeping” and not rocking the boat at YOUR expense/the expense as to how you feel. He prefers that you say/do nothing—so he doesn’t have to.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,329
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Feb 20, 2021 19:46:56 GMT
My dh would say something like, "hey man, leave my wife out of this. You don't need to talk like that. We're getting off topic." My dh writes for a living so he's very good at handling different situations with his words. Most times he ignores things that normally bother me. Rude, loud people in general, out in public. I'm more easily irritated by those things where he shrugs it off . I'd chalk this guy up to a douche that says stupid shit and not give him any more of your head space. I have a female fb friend right now that's still on the anti-mask, I'm just here trying to protect your rights, this is all a hoax, ticking me off. She's a mom of one of dd's classmates so I'm buying my time before I delete her. It's all a hoax until one of their loved ones is affected. Then things change in a hurry. Grrrr!
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 20, 2021 19:47:16 GMT
Don't engage, there is nothing to be gained although it's clear he will be left wondering about the lack of a Christmas card. It would be nice if your dh replied with something like you are his one and only and no one should joke about his marriage. Not confrontational just drawing a line in the sand and warning his friend not to cross it. He mustn't have many Facebook friends if he can remember you deleted him years ago! I agree.
If I had a friend that spoke about my husband like that, she would no longer be a friend. I’ve cut out FAMILY who acted like her DH’s friend.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 19:55:10 GMT
And because I’m a petty bitch, I’d text back and say “hey this is cindyupnorth and since it’s clear as to how you feel about me, and that you feel it’s a-okay to disrespect me and my husband by talking smack about me, I’ll happily lose your address...” Oh, yea there have been numerous response's running thru my head. The one thing that really irked me..and it's really petty, is that he called me your wife. Seriously?! I've known the guy for like 20+ years. He knows my name. So one of the responses was...Hey. My name is Cindy. Ya know..dean's wife. My name is Cindy.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 19:56:25 GMT
And you hubby is doing all that “peace keeping” and not ticking the boat at YOUR expense/the expense as yo how you feel. He prefers that you say/do nothing—so he doesn’t have to. Oh, he doesn't care if I say something. I think that's what he loves about me. Maybe that's why we work? balance each other out somehow?
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Post by pierkiss on Feb 20, 2021 19:57:07 GMT
Your husband needs better friends. Republican or Democrat.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 20:12:20 GMT
Your husband needs better friends. Republican or Democrat. Yea. It's hard to make new friends around here. This is my dh's hometown. All his friends are people that grew up here, or he grew up with, or worked with.
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Post by finsup on Feb 20, 2021 20:37:43 GMT
I’d be mad at that text but then be able to shake it off because eff that guy. But I’d be hurt if my DH just let it go. Even if he likes to keep the peace he can do that without being confrontational, especially over text rather than face to face. Just a “woah, dude, what you said about Cindy wasn’t cool” would show that he has your back. Your DH saying you can defend yourself would be a copout in this instance, because the text was not sent to you. I hope you’re able to convey your feelings to your husband and have him hear you.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,125
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Feb 20, 2021 20:47:09 GMT
It would be nice if your dh replied with something like you are his one and only and no one should joke about his marriage. Not confrontational just drawing a line in the sand and warning his friend not to cross it. my gut says *this*... BUT if you know you are your DH's one and only, he doesn't HAVE to defend you to the dick who texted him as he is probably not gonna put any stock in what this dude says anyway. and i just wouldn't send him a christmas card after that, perhaps joking but completely necessary, comment. as an aside, i can see why your kids moved.
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Post by bc2ca on Feb 20, 2021 20:54:13 GMT
"Btw the democrats are gonna try their dambest to take our guns away one way or the other,either by making ammo so expensive we can't afford it it guns or themselves,which I'm quite sure you know this. My point is ,I'm pretty sure your wife is a democrat,I think we need to find you a new one 😁. However she still sends me Xmas cards even though she deleted me as a friend on Facebook a couple years ago cuz I told her something along the lines that it's never ok to be a liberal,I may have been a lil more frank on thus point,I can't remember now,but she didn't like my dislike for liberals,so not all of her is bad. As I get the Xmas card every year." I'd have responded along the lines "I can confirm she is a Democrat and our DD's too. Would give up you way before her, dude." And Republicans are just fine taking disability. They know they have earned it. It is all the other guys who are lazy scammers looking for a free ride.
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Post by deep on Feb 20, 2021 21:15:38 GMT
OK Christmas will sneak up before we know it, so I've started on your card...
Twas the night before Christmas And all through Cindy's house Were all the guns taken From Asshole friends of her spouse...
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 21:18:40 GMT
Twas the night before Christmas And all through Cindy's house Were all the guns taken From Asshole friends of her spouse... LOLPIMP!!! oh my!! LOVE!
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 20, 2021 21:47:39 GMT
I have heard it is Wyoming. I have lots of relatives in SD and they are definitely not all Republicans. Religious, yes. Republicans, no. a little of both. Wyoming had Laramie and it is a tiny bit less conservative than the rest of the state. Cheyenne and the surrounding area is turning a little more liberal as the commute to Fort collins is easy and to Denver isn't too bad and Wyoming is sooooo much cheaper A friend of mine bought a house there to avoid taxes and get away from so many people. She was excited to vote in a state where they could vote in person. Her husband is the extreme Republican.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 20, 2021 21:49:08 GMT
I have lots of relatives in SD and they are definitely not all Republicans. Religious, yes. Republicans, no. How can they be religious and not be republican? so they are democrat? interesting! Often very religious people are republican because of the whole pro life thing. Yes, but they have all had children who are now adults and their kids are not Republicans. I know many people who are religious and not R's.
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Post by flanz on Feb 20, 2021 21:55:26 GMT
Your husband needs to have your back! I'd be pissed. Sorry you're dealing with this.
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Post by Zee on Feb 20, 2021 22:06:35 GMT
It’s not a matter of “needing defending”. The guy clearly and obviously has zero boundaries as to what he can and will say about a friends wife. He has ZERO respect for you. In our household, that sure as fuck would not fly. I’m sorry that your husband doesn’t have the balls, or respect to stand up and tell him that saying anything about you is not cool and off limits. I’d be pissed if my hubby didn’t stand up for me. I’m a person with feelings too. I’d like to think that my feelings matter more than his friend to him. And because I’m a petty bitch, I’d text back and say “hey this is cindyupnorth and since it’s clear as to how you feel about me, and that you feel it’s a-okay to disrespect me and my husband by talking smack about me, I’ll happily lose your address...” Or maybe, since he has no immediate plans to actually get a new wife, he doesn't really care since it didn't upset him? My DH doesn't have friends like that but if he did I wouldn't expect him to get up in arms about a dumb joke. It's his phone, his friend, his business. I'd save my outrage and take him off the Christmas list.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Feb 20, 2021 22:12:15 GMT
Or maybe, since he has no immediate plans to actually get a new wife, he doesn't really care since it didn't upset him? My DH doesn't have friends like that but if he did I wouldn't expect him to get up in arms about a dumb joke. It's his phone, his friend, his business. I'd save my outrage and take him off the Christmas list. Yea. This is more like it. I'm sure he thinks he's just stupid and not even worth texting him back. hence why he didn't, or hasn't. I havn't talked to him. He's been at work all day.
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Post by Zee on Feb 20, 2021 22:13:47 GMT
Or maybe, since he has no immediate plans to actually get a new wife, he doesn't really care since it didn't upset him? My DH doesn't have friends like that but if he did I wouldn't expect him to get up in arms about a dumb joke. It's his phone, his friend, his business. I'd save my outrage and take him off the Christmas list. Yea. This is more like it. I'm sure he thinks he's just stupid and not even worth texting him back. hence why he didn't, or hasn't. I havn't talked to him. He's been at work all day. Yeah. Saying your DH doesn't have balls unless he defends your marriage over this seems just as rude. Not everything needs a response.
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