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Post by **Angie** on Nov 14, 2014 13:33:37 GMT
I didn't join one in college, and I have no idea if any of my friends/family ever joined one.
WVU just suspended all of the fraternities/sororities after an "incident" yesterday. An "incident" that has resulted in the student being placed on life support and his family is now saying that he won't make it. I've heard they are keeping him on life support in order to donate his organs.
Last weekend, there was another "incident" where 19 people involved with another fraternity decided to run around a residential neighborhood at 1:30 in the morning screaming their heads off. Three people were arrested and the other 16 were cited. That fraternity was temporarily suspended.
Granted, I'm a resident of Morgantown, not a college student but I never hear of anything good that the fraternities/sororities do. And yes, I know that you usually only hear the bad stuff (hazing, underage drinking), so I'm curious. Did anyone join a sorority in college? Did it have any lasting impact on your life after college? And if so, was it something you could only get through a sorority?
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 1:00:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2014 13:37:02 GMT
I did not join a sorority either, so I can't answer your question.
This story just makes my heart so sad. That poor kid's parents!
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peabay
Prolific Pea
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Nov 14, 2014 13:40:18 GMT
I was in a sorority. We did a lot of philanthropy work, it helped with networking and there was a lot of "sisterhood." I was happy there, made lifelong friends and loved it. I don't think I wouldn't have found those things had I remained GDI - I had lots of friends who weren't Greek who loved college too.
I don't understand how hazing still happens. Every Greek system in America has anti-hazing lectures, policies etc... They are taught. They are warned - and it still happens. What's really scary is the kids who are hazed are often (not always) happy and willing to go along with it because it means they "belong." They don't recognize it as degradation and humiliation.
The screaming around a residential neighborhood? That's just stupid kid stuff. Annoying, but stupid.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Nov 14, 2014 14:08:03 GMT
I recently read about a new fraternity in Alabama trying to raise money to buy some land. They are then going to put tiny houses that they build on the land for homeless people to use.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 1:00:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2014 14:14:53 GMT
The fraternities/sororities are meant to be support groups for its members~ encourage excellence in academics. They also are heavily into philanthropy work but that rarely makes news. I only hear of it because I am on campus. But they are involved in helping build houses with habitat for humanities, run many fundraisers for a variety of causes that range from autism to the zoo.
Not only do they run fundraisers but they often host events. We have an annual Christmas party for underprivileged kids. The f/s will be heavily involved in one to one interaction with crafts and games with the kids. Lsst month one sorority did a Halloween outing designed for families with autistic kids. They do that sort of thing and very often do it well. The young adults get a chance to experience leadership, professional demeanor when talking with business about fund donations.
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Post by bearmom on Nov 14, 2014 14:21:09 GMT
I was in a sorority. We did a lot of philanthropy work, it helped with networking and there was a lot of "sisterhood." I was happy there, made lifelong friends and loved it. I don't think I wouldn't have found those things had I remained GDI - I had lots of friends who weren't Greek who loved college too. I don't understand how hazing still happens. Every Greek system in America has anti-hazing lectures, policies etc... They are taught. They are warned - and it still happens. What's really scary is the kids who are hazed are often (not always) happy and willing to go along with it because it means they "belong." They don't recognize it as degradation and humiliation. The screaming around a residential neighborhood? That's just stupid kid stuff. Annoying, but stupid. This. Still involved in my sorority as an advisor (long distance). Hazing is not allowed by any National organization. Some colleges allow for local Greek organizations which have little to no oversight. I would like to point out that hazing isn't just limited to fraternities and sororities. Many sport teams and other organizations participate in hazing. And, these are invincible college students who think nothing and can happen to them. Alcohol poisoning and being "stupid" isn't limited to those in Greek organizations either.....
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Post by littlemama on Nov 14, 2014 14:21:12 GMT
My niece is in one, and they post on social media about sisterhood and philanthropy, which is great, but they also post plenty of pictures where it is clear (not obvious, just clear) that there is underage drinking going on.
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Post by monklady123 on Nov 14, 2014 14:42:53 GMT
My dd just joined a sorority. From what I can see it's several things -- that have already been mentioned here, but I'll just give my impression as a mom. 1. It's a nice group of girls, "sisters", and it's a life-long network. They do fun things together at school -- this year so far they've gone to a hay maze (at night, eek), gone apple picking, and went on a hike to a local attraction. I like this because it means dd is getting away from campus. 2. They have mandatory study hours and your grades need to reflect that. If someone is having trouble academically the girls all step up to help, or to get the girl help from the university's tutoring service. My dd's "big" (the girl who sponsored her) happens to be a Spanish major and dd struggles with learning how to study a foreign language (not taught properly in high school, in my opinion) so her Big has helped her a lot in that area. 3. They all have a charity that they support. Dd's sorority's charity used to be polio research in honor of the son of one of the sorority's past presidents. The son died of polio and they took this as their cause. When the vaccine for polio was discovered they switched to support play therapy for children who are hospitalized. They raise money by various means, and also regularly visit the children's units of the hospitals in town. Nationally they have several major children's hospitals that they support, but off-hand I'm not sure which ones they are. 4. My dd's sorority has "official" positions of designated driver, and something else like "designated safe person" --- I forget what dd called it. At parties these two pledge not to drink alcohol and to watch out for the other girls. Since Hannah Graham was killed the girls have two "designated safe people" because they are determined that no girl will ever leave a party alone. There is also a campus-wide push for everyone to do this, not just the sorority.
5. They do various things on campus that are for the community in the town where the university is located. (this is a Greek effort, not just dd's sorority). Recently they had a big Halloween party/festival -- games, crafts, raffles, etc. Lots of the neighborhood kids came and judging by the photos everyone had a good time. 6. Hazing is not allowed. Although... one of the requirements for dd's pledge class was a week where they had to dress nicely and wear their sorority pin prominently on their shirt or dress. Dd commented that a lot of the boys might have taken that as "hazing" given how most of them look on campus. lolol. Dd loves to get dressed up so it was no problem for her. 7. Leadership training. All the girls at dd's chapter are expected to attend at least one day-long leadership training session. They tell the girls that not everyone wants to be a leader, not everyone would be good at being a leader, and obviously not everyone *can* be a leader. But, you'll never know until you try. So they want all the girls to give it a try. I love this because the things they do at the workshop are helpful for anyone even if you never plan to be the CEO of a large corporation. Things like speaking in front of a group, being on both sides of the interview table, networking at conferences, skills analysis, etc. They sponsor other leadership training things for girls who might want to do more than the one-day one, but everyone is expected to take the one-day session. They also go twice a year to one of those outdoor ropes courses. This is "optional but encouraged" -- dd said no one is forced, and in fact her Big opted out because she's afraid of heights. Those are my positives. No far I haven't really seen any negatives. It does cost money although not as much as I expected. After the first year the cost goes way down because you don't have to buy things like the pin, and various sweaters and whatever in the sorority colors. Dd said that at some schools girls are expected to always be with their sorority sisters -- meals, social activities, everything. She said if this had been the case at her school she wouldn't have joined because she would have had to give up a lot of friends. She wanted the sorority to expand her friendships not constrain them. Well, that's my report as a new Sorority Mom. lol.
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Post by *KAS* on Nov 14, 2014 14:46:42 GMT
I was in a sorority. We did a lot of philanthropy work, it helped with networking and there was a lot of "sisterhood." I was happy there, made lifelong friends and loved it. I don't think I wouldn't have found those things had I remained GDI - I had lots of friends who weren't Greek who loved college too. I don't understand how hazing still happens. Every Greek system in America has anti-hazing lectures, policies etc... They are taught. They are warned - and it still happens. What's really scary is the kids who are hazed are often (not always) happy and willing to go along with it because it means they "belong." They don't recognize it as degradation and humiliation. The screaming around a residential neighborhood? That's just stupid kid stuff. Annoying, but stupid. Yes, ditto all of that. My life long best friends for life came from there.
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Post by monklady123 on Nov 14, 2014 14:49:28 GMT
My niece is in one, and they post on social media about sisterhood and philanthropy, which is great, but they also post plenty of pictures where it is clear (not obvious, just clear) that there is underage drinking going on. Yes, of course there's underage drinking going on. This is all over college campuses, not just in fraternities and sororities. I do not believe we can ever stop this so the best thing we can do is to try to teach kids how to be safe. Things like designated drivers, designated safe people, never leave your drink unattended, never leave a party alone, understand how much alcohol will poison you and stop before that, etc. If we're lucky we'll have a kid who doesn't drink, like my dd. But honestly I don't think it's anything I can take credit for, it's just how she is. But from what I can see her sorority does a good job with keeping every safe at parties, and on campus. Since Hannah Graham was murdered this is on all our minds, of course.
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Post by Scrapbrat on Nov 14, 2014 15:14:02 GMT
I wanted to resond to the underage drinking point. My DS is in a fraternity at a major university. They do have parties, so I know there is drinking, even though a lot of the students are not 21. I am not thrilled about that, but underage drinking is a fact of life on most college campuses, as someone else has pointed out. The big thing that the police in the area are worried about, and the thing that the Greek houses will get hammered for, is drinking by area high school students. At DS's house, they keep a strict "invited guest" list for every party, and no one not on the list gets in the house. They also have at least one member at each event that is the designated "sober monitor" -- that young man does not drink, and looks out for problem situations, such as a girl leaving alone, or someone attempting to leave who has had too much to drink. The monitor also has to check in with housse leadership at a couple of points during the night, and let them know what's going on. I was actually surprised at the measures that his house (and others, I'm sure) takes to try to keep kids safe.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 1:00:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2014 15:18:02 GMT
I think a lot of good come from them but unfortunately we hear the worst. I am about 20 minutes from Morgantown and was very sad to hear about this yesterday.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Nov 14, 2014 15:52:37 GMT
My DD is a member of a sorority and it has been a really great experience for her. The sorority has some very strong rules in place regarding parties, drinking, and staying together. DD has a very hard time relaxing enough to really enjoy herself, but having a support net meant she could do just that ( not necessarily meaning drinking, just not on edge in a social situation). She has enjoyed the philanthropic activities tremendously, and is a member of several committees.
Academically, this has been good for her because the sorority requires a minimum gpa and they allow the sisters to count tutoring sisters as part of their active hours. When DD gets ready to sign up for classes, she can ask sisters for opinions on professors as well as for class notes.
For me, an introvert, the mandatory togetherness would be hell, but fur DD, it's wonderful.
Marcy
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Post by monklady123 on Nov 14, 2014 16:11:50 GMT
My DD is a member of a sorority and it has been a really great experience for her. The sorority has some very strong rules in place regarding parties, drinking, and staying together. DD has a very hard time relaxing enough to really enjoy herself, but having a support net meant she could do just that ( not necessarily meaning drinking, just not on edge in a social situation). She has enjoyed the philanthropic activities tremendously, and is a member of several committees. Academically, this has been good for her because the sorority requires a minimum gpa and they allow the sisters to count tutoring sisters as part of their active hours. When DD gets ready to sign up for classes, she can ask sisters for opinions on professors as well as for class notes. For me, an introvert, the mandatory togetherness would be hell, but fur DD, it's wonderful. Marcy Lol, the part I bolded above in Marcy's post -- funny story from just last week. They've just done registration for next semester and dd had signed up for one class with a certain professor who she didn't know. She went to lunch with some of the girls from her sorority including many juniors and seniors (dd is a sophomore). They asked what she'd registered for and who the professors were and when she mentioned this one class everyone around the table said "nooooooooooooooo!" lol. Dd went back to her dorm and redid her schedule, changing to another section of this class. She told me that she figured if every single person at the table said no don't take his class then that was probably a good recommendation.... not like one person with a grudge or something. lol.
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Post by 5peanutsnana on Nov 14, 2014 17:21:24 GMT
When my DD left for college she was 4 hours from home with no HS friends at the University. She was very homesick and was surrounded by students who were all at the top of their class. It was a huge change for her and depression set in. Her sorority sister provided support and friendship when she really needed it. It's not for every one, but it helped her get through.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Nov 14, 2014 17:36:04 GMT
I was not in A sorority, but I was a little sis in a fraternity. Those guys and their families are still my friends 40 years after I graduated
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 14, 2014 17:53:23 GMT
I was in a sorority.
It was fun, good parties, easy to make friends, study buddies. It was a good experience but not life changing. We only had a small house and I never lived in. The friends I still have from college are not from my sorority.
Hazing is banned, as is underage drinking from all sororities and fraternities, as with underage drinking, hazing is looked the other way unless there is a problem.
I think for some people they are beneficial... however generally I think they are outdated and at many schools very elitist.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 1:00:07 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2014 17:56:28 GMT
This. Still involved in my sorority as an advisor (long distance). Hazing is not allowed by any National organization. Some colleges allow for local Greek organizations which have little to no oversight. I would like to point out that hazing isn't just limited to fraternities and sororities. Many sport teams and other organizations participate in hazing. And, these are invincible college students who think nothing and can happen to them. Alcohol poisoning and being "stupid" isn't limited to those in Greek organizations either..... So true! It even happens in marching bands; Ohio State being the most recent I heard about.
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Post by anxiousmom on Nov 14, 2014 18:06:54 GMT
I am not thrilled about that, but underage drinking is a fact of life on most college campuses, as someone else has pointed out. The big thing that the police in the area are worried about, and the thing that the Greek houses will get hammered for, is drinking by area high school students. This is has been going on for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a college town and was in high school during the early 80's- one of our favorite past times was going to frat parties. We never had any one even question our being there, although I suspect that if we had been caught the worst that would have happened was a ride home in a police car. Back in those days there wasn't quite the push against underage drinking as there is now.
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Post by **Angie** on Nov 14, 2014 18:09:53 GMT
Thanks for your replies, everyone. I'm glad to hear that there are good things coming out of the Greek Organizations. The ones here at WVU have been suspended for the remainder of the semester and possibly longer.
The report now is that the boy has been taken off of life support. He was only 18, a freshman. One of his last tweets was "it's about to be a very eventful night to say the least". Such a waste of a life....
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
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Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Nov 14, 2014 18:10:05 GMT
I didn't join one in college because 1) I didn't have the $$, and it wasn't cheap, and 2) I didn't really have the interest anyway. I don't have any regrets, but I will say that at my particular university, Greek life was huge. Absolutely huge. I didn't know that going into it. In hindsight, if I were to pick a college today I probably would choose someplace different--although I did have a great time, got a great education, and met my dh there. I think that high school students choosing a college should have an idea if this is something they *might* want to pursue, and to have a sense of how important the Greek life is at the particular school they choose.
I didn't have problems making friends. Of my four roommates, two belonged to sororities and two didn't. However, freshman year was tough in many ways because at that point it seemed like absolutely everybody was rushing and everyone was very, very excited about their sororities.
I did join a co-ed service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega, at my university. There are some similarities to a traditional sorority, but many differences. The focus was on service projects, though there were a lot of social opportunities, too. It was much looser in format and requirements than what I saw my roommates doing, no house, etc. Actually, one of my roommates who was in a sorority was also a member of APO along with me.
My own daughter is a freshman in college this fall. She is so much like me in so many ways. She didn't want to rush but felt a little left out this fall (at a university that isn't really all that Greek, but growing more so). I suggested she check out APO, and it is a group of people that she's glad she's found.
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Post by ilikepink on Nov 14, 2014 18:12:40 GMT
When one of my boys wanted to join a fraternity at college, I was very nervous - all the horror stories. But, he participated in many activities for others - parties for local kids, fund raising. Their house had been banned from parties for years before he arrived, and recently had their privileges reinstated, so there were many rules - strict invitation lists, ID checks, designated sober people, trained bartenders. He eventually became president and his girlfriend was president of her sorority (quite the "power couple" lol). The friendships, leadership, philanthropy, the politics of dealing with the administration and the town, are valuable lifelong skills I know they both learned.
As he pointed out to me multiple times - parties happen every where on/off campus. Those at Greek houses were much more regulated than say, the lacrosse team, because the Greeks had more to lose. The bad stuff that happened (at least at his school) usually involved drinking at places other than Greek parties.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Nov 14, 2014 18:24:51 GMT
I am in a sorority, and it has enriched my life. During college, I learned and practiced organization, planning, and leadership skills that have served me well. I made friends who I can count on 20 years later, and I have continued to participate in an alumnae chapter and as an adviser to this day. I even had to opportunity to initiate a grown-up friend into my sorority last year.
There are bad seeds in every bunch, but I think we have turned a corner where there are more news stories about athletic and military hazing than about Greek life hazing, at least among the national organizations. It sounds like this particular campus feels there is a systematic challenge, and I can relate. My campus had some concerns about the excessive partying on certain days, and the fraternities took the lead in asking the sororities to help them combat the problem. By taking girls out of the picture on those days, they were able to reduce their liability.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Nov 14, 2014 18:47:21 GMT
I didn't join one in college because 1) I didn't have the $$, and it wasn't cheap, and 2) I didn't really have the interest anyway. I don't have any regrets, but I will say that at my particular university, Greek life was huge. Absolutely huge. I didn't know that going into it. In hindsight, if I were to pick a college today I probably would choose someplace different--although I did have a great time, got a great education, and met my dh there. I think that high school students choosing a college should have an idea if this is something they *might* want to pursue, and to have a sense of how important the Greek life is at the particular school they choose. I didn't have problems making friends. Of my four roommates, two belonged to sororities and two didn't. However, freshman year was tough in many ways because at that point it seemed like absolutely everybody was rushing and everyone was very, very excited about their sororities. I did join a co-ed service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega, at my university. There are some similarities to a traditional sorority, but many differences. The focus was on service projects, though there were a lot of social opportunities, too. It was much looser in format and requirements than what I saw my roommates doing, no house, etc. Actually, one of my roommates who was in a sorority was also a member of APO along with me. My own daughter is a freshman in college this fall. She is so much like me in so many ways. She didn't want to rush but felt a little left out this fall (at a university that isn't really all that Greek, but growing more so). I suggested she check out APO, and it is a group of people that she's glad she's found. What you joined sounds more inclusionary than what I see and hear sororities are. That is a good point about how Greek your school is. That will be important to my dd as she is about inclusion instead of exclusion. She has been very involved in service projects and leadership through 4-H so she will want to continue with both, but not when she has to join an exclusive group to do it.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 14, 2014 18:50:16 GMT
I was in a sorority in college and it enriched my college experience in so many ways. I learned so much from it and, yes, the social opportunities it afforded were a plus as well.
My sophomore at USC is in a fraternity now and I'm glad that is part of his experience as well. He's living in the frat house this year. They have a big charity event that includes parents coming up next weekend and my husband and I will be attending.
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Post by annabella on Nov 14, 2014 19:06:24 GMT
I was in a sorority and my chapter did not haze anyone. I did hear rumors about another sorority making all the girls strip down to their undies and and circle their fat. Alcohol poisoning was the biggest issue with my sorority. For me the sorority was just another way to meet more people, for that alone it was a valuable experience. If we did philanthropy, I don't remember. I'm sure we were required to do something once a year but maybe we did a fundraiser and not everyone participated, or maybe it was selling tickets to our annual formal? I visited 3 other schools that had my sorority, just emailed them to say I was coming for the weekend, and they gave me someone's room in the house, that's how friendly and open they were. I remember in one house all the freshman slept in one room together in the attic, I could never do that. I was active in the alumni chapter for awhile. I agree that being in a sorority is great for leadership training.
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Post by BuckeyeSandy on Nov 14, 2014 19:15:07 GMT
My dd just joined a sorority. From what I can see it's several things -- that have already been mentioned here, but I'll just give my impression as a mom. Both of my nieces are Greek, and this has been their experiences with the Greek System as well. They are the first in the family to join, so it did shatter a few long held misconceptions, and educated us that NOT ALL are the same. My oldest niece while an undergrad was on her school's Pan-Greek board, and did help implement changes about RUSH WEEK and other activities.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2014 19:17:28 GMT
I had thought about joining one in college. I liked the ideas and goals they presented. The idea of being a part of something, working together, forming new friendships, and potential networking were all things I was thinking of. I joined the rush. Then I went to a Brother/Sister party they threw with a fraternity across the street. They had no problem serving underage students and I got alcohol poisoning. I probably should've spent the night in the hospital instead of finding my way back to my dorm room. I have a few gaps in my memory of that night so I'm not entirely sure what happened. I didn't like that feeling. After that party, I had a gut feeling I shouldn't be a part of the sorority and bowed out of rushing, claiming the fees were too much. I still cannot drink vodka without feeling sick.
I know for many, it's not all bad.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
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Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Nov 14, 2014 19:44:43 GMT
I didn't join one in college because 1) I didn't have the $$, and it wasn't cheap, and 2) I didn't really have the interest anyway. I don't have any regrets, but I will say that at my particular university, Greek life was huge. Absolutely huge. I didn't know that going into it. In hindsight, if I were to pick a college today I probably would choose someplace different--although I did have a great time, got a great education, and met my dh there. I think that high school students choosing a college should have an idea if this is something they *might* want to pursue, and to have a sense of how important the Greek life is at the particular school they choose. I didn't have problems making friends. Of my four roommates, two belonged to sororities and two didn't. However, freshman year was tough in many ways because at that point it seemed like absolutely everybody was rushing and everyone was very, very excited about their sororities. I did join a co-ed service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega, at my university. There are some similarities to a traditional sorority, but many differences. The focus was on service projects, though there were a lot of social opportunities, too. It was much looser in format and requirements than what I saw my roommates doing, no house, etc. Actually, one of my roommates who was in a sorority was also a member of APO along with me. My own daughter is a freshman in college this fall. She is so much like me in so many ways. She didn't want to rush but felt a little left out this fall (at a university that isn't really all that Greek, but growing more so). I suggested she check out APO, and it is a group of people that she's glad she's found. What you joined sounds more inclusionary than what I see and hear sororities are. That is a good point about how Greek your school is. That will be important to my dd as she is about inclusion instead of exclusion. She has been very involved in service projects and leadership through 4-H so she will want to continue with both, but not when she has to join an exclusive group to do it. I would definitely suggest she check out APO. There is a so-called 'rush' period, but there's no interviewing or selection involved. Basically you attend an introductory meeting, do a service project, and maybe meet for a social activity like bowling, etc. Anyone who is interested can join. There's a cost, but it's something small like $40 per year as opposed to the $$ that it costs to join a sorority.
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Post by fotos4u2 on Nov 14, 2014 19:50:05 GMT
Oldest dd wanted to join a sorority. Part of the reason she picked the school she did was because of what she saw/heard about their sorority options. Unfortunately it ended up being way more costly than anticipated (I think I remember her saying it was going to be over $1000 a month ) which she just didn't have. At the moment she's paying for all of her schooling and housing herself (and unfortunately because of the way our taxes were filed last year she didn't qualify for much financial aid) so paying that much was out of the question. It's kind of sad because she really could have used the social aspect (she is going to a school 6 hours from home where she only knows a few people from high school and her roommates already have their own groups of friends they hang out with), but she is only going to be at this school for two years so I'm sure she'll live.
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