keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,303
Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Mar 26, 2021 17:33:26 GMT
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,376
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Mar 26, 2021 17:55:52 GMT
Well I guess if that makes them happy...
I can't imagine that though. I'll be 50 this summer. That's a huge nope for me!
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Post by greendragonlady on Mar 26, 2021 18:01:03 GMT
I'm surprised I didn't hear of this before, since I'm in NH!
Also yeah...no.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Mar 26, 2021 18:13:06 GMT
This is within 30 mins of where I live and I read the story early in the week. And yeah, no. LOLOL I'm not even 45yo yet and I'm tired. I cannot imagine starting with a baby at 57.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 26, 2021 18:19:34 GMT
54 here and I’d be all NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not happening. I have a ten year old and even that wears me out, LOL.
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SweetieBsMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,767
Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Mar 26, 2021 18:22:31 GMT
This is local to me, NH. All I could think is "damn, you're going to have a teenager at 70". Good Lord, best of luck to you.
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Post by malibou on Mar 26, 2021 18:26:16 GMT
This year I turn 57, huge NOPE! from me.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Mar 26, 2021 18:30:42 GMT
Nope no way I could handle that at 54 and have felt that way for many years. More power to her and I hope it works out well for them.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,500
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Mar 26, 2021 18:35:12 GMT
I didn't read the story but surprised a physician would even work with a 57 year old woman to have a baby. I'm 46 and what brandy327 said.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,379
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Mar 26, 2021 18:41:55 GMT
I am 57 and I can't even imagine caring for a newborn. I'm tired and a little selfish with my time since I already raised a family.
But hey, I haven't walked in her shoes so I can't judge. I didn't read the story but I have to wonder how it's going to be for the child having dinosaur parents. Obviously the child isn't going to have the years with its parents like most of us have. Is the child an only?
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Julie W
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,209
Jun 27, 2014 22:11:06 GMT
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Post by Julie W on Mar 26, 2021 19:00:32 GMT
They were on the Today show this morning. I don't know how I feel about it - however she has always been fit and healthy and worked out throughout her pregnancy. Apparently they said it was not difficult to find someone to work with them on getting pregnant.
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Post by kandie on Mar 26, 2021 19:02:32 GMT
This is local to me. The story of the loss of her 13 yr old was heartbreaking. I am about to turn 50 and no way in heck would I have a baby! But they truly seem happy
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Post by mom on Mar 26, 2021 19:08:45 GMT
Big NO from me.
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Post by KelleeM on Mar 26, 2021 19:11:38 GMT
I was just talking about this with one of the teachers when I brought dgd to daycare this morning. I just turned 59 and have a 5 year old living in my house. NO WAY IN HELL would I ever have a baby!!!!
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Post by shessoaverage on Mar 26, 2021 19:50:31 GMT
I'd never judge someone who's had the heartbreak of losing a child, but I know the heartbreak of losing my mother suddenly when I was 30. I just don't know if I'd have a child at that age, knowing that I'd be almost 80 (if still there) when they graduate from college. That gives them a less-than-optimal life path, in my opinion. I don't know. I hope everything turns out the best possible way for them all.
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Post by maryland on Mar 26, 2021 20:01:22 GMT
Good for her! I'm happy for her!
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Post by hopechest on Mar 26, 2021 20:03:36 GMT
I'm going to be 50 and I have a 5 year old through adoption. He's our only. I would LOVE LOVE to have another and give him a brother or sister. I think I could handle it now, but that "when he [insert life event] I'll be XXX years old" calculation makes me sad. We're thinking maybe wait until he's just a little older then foster a little older kiddo, not a baby. I know parenting doesn't end when the kiddo is 18. It makes me sad and worried that I'd check out on him when he still needs me.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Mar 26, 2021 20:07:08 GMT
good for her and her husband, if they want to do it. Like she said in the article, no one knows how long their parents will be around. If they love their son, and they went thru a LOT to have him-- then why should any of us judge them for having him when we know nothing about their life except their ages?
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Post by deekaye on Mar 26, 2021 20:09:24 GMT
I'm 60 and can't even fathom having a three year old right now. I love, love, LOVE my 9 month old grandson but man, I'm exhausted at the end of the day with him! DH and I are also nearing retirement and making plans for traveling, etc. I hate to sound selfish but if we had a school aged child, those plans would be drastically different. We've raised two children, I'm done!
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Post by sabrinae on Mar 26, 2021 20:13:59 GMT
I am 57 and I can't even imagine caring for a newborn. I'm tired and a little selfish with my time since I already raised a family. But hey, I haven't walked in her shoes so I can't judge. I didn't read the story but I have to wonder how it's going to be for the child having dinosaur parents. Obviously the child isn't going to have the years with its parents like most of us have. Is the child an only? Men routinely have kids with younger women with they themselves are in their 50s, 60s and even 70s. There is little commentary about those dads being “dinosaur” parents.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 26, 2021 20:16:55 GMT
No for me, but I can see why she and her husband decided to have another. Good for her.
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Post by sabrinae on Mar 26, 2021 20:51:30 GMT
As far as dying when the child is young or in college, you never know what’s going to happen. I watched a friend from high school be buried last summer at 40. She had a three year old. She lost her own mother when she was five. You never know what life holds or when someone is going to die. If the have the resources and capacity to care for the child, go for it. It’s interesting that we don’t see the same judgements when men are having babies with younger women when they are on their 50s or older.
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Post by Linda on Mar 26, 2021 21:05:42 GMT
I'm not sure that's a choice I would make (certainly not the IVF) and I'm unlikely to get pregnant naturally at 50 (my last m/c was at 38) but there are plenty of fathers that age and older and no one blinks an eye at that. And there are plenty of grandparents and great grandparents raising newborns and older because their (grand)child is unable or unwilling to parent (or have lost custody) - I imagine it IS exhausting and probably not the ideal in many ways but they make it work.
As for dying while kids are still young - that can happen at any age. My sister and I were teens when our dad died (he was 45 and 49 when we were born) - a cousin was widowed with 6 children under 8 when she was about 30....
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Post by Lexica on Mar 26, 2021 21:10:50 GMT
I had always wanted a large family. I divorced after having one, and never found a suitable partner to have another. I was always the neighborhood mom that was outside arranging things to do for the kids. Partly because I enjoyed it and partly because I wanted to have other kids around my son so that he learned to share and wait his turn. Things you need other kids around to understand. I was also the only one brave enough to take on all of my nieces and nephews at the same time when there was an event the family needed to attend. I always volunteered to miss it and stay back with the kids.
But, now that I'm older, I just don't have the patience. When my niece lived here with her 2-year-old daughter, I about went nuts. The child was never disciplined, so that is a large part of it. I realized that I had no empathy and that I might have to admit to myself that I was beyond the patience stage.
So now, would I consider taking on a baby? No. I would have adored having a grand, but my son and his fiancé do not want children of their own.
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Post by Really Red on Mar 26, 2021 21:15:01 GMT
I am 57 and I can't even imagine caring for a newborn. I'm tired and a little selfish with my time since I already raised a family. But hey, I haven't walked in her shoes so I can't judge. I didn't read the story but I have to wonder how it's going to be for the child having dinosaur parents. Obviously the child isn't going to have the years with its parents like most of us have. Is the child an only? Men routinely have kids with younger women with they themselves are in their 50s, 60s and even 70s. There is little commentary about those dads being “dinosaur” parents. But I do hear that. Maybe not way back when, but these days, when a parent is over 50, I hear it regardless of the sex of the parent. The mom is fit and happy now at 57, and I know 80 year olds who are fit and happy, but the fittest and happiest of 70-something-year-old parents cannot hold a candle to a more age-appropriate parent for a teenager. Kids are hard enough. Having a teen when you're in your 70s? IDK. It makes me sad for the kid.
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Post by Zee on Mar 26, 2021 21:20:53 GMT
You may not know that you're going to die early when you have children, but you certainly know you'll die old. Why set up a child to be parentless at an early age? That's years they are definitely missing out on, not "maybe" missing out on. I can't imagine my 23 year old son worrying about caring for 80 year old me, and it would be a lot for someone so young, even with elder care already planned for and in place. It also feels like being a replacement child would be a hard burden, but they would definitely know they were wanted, so...
Plus I'm 49 and can't imagine going back to raising a child all over again. My time is my own and I like it that way. I loved raising my kids but I can't imagine doing all the sleeplessness again along with working!
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Post by sabrinae on Mar 26, 2021 21:31:22 GMT
I’ve seen lots of older foster/adoptive parents do fabulous jobs with kids that are particularly difficult due to the trauma they’ve suffered. I’m not going to judge someone for building a family however they want to and can. They people I know have solid plans in place in case the doe while the kids are young and have solid plans in place for continued support for the kids through adult hood. It’s not the same as their parents being there but I’ve seen an awful lot of young parents for while their children are little too.
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Post by pjaye on Mar 26, 2021 21:46:16 GMT
Men routinely have kids with younger women with they themselves are in their 50s, 60s and even 70s. There is little commentary about those dads being “dinosaur” parents. I don't know what you read or who you speak to but I see plenty of negative comments about those older men. And ultimately it's highly likely that that when they die, there will still be the younger wife left to continue raising the child. Personally, I don't think medicine should be helping women to have babies into their late 50s. I hope their other daughter is prepared to take over raising her little brother if the need arises. Or an even worse case scenario is if the parents get some sort of debilitating illness and that poor kid ends up being a carer to his parents when he's still a tanager.
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Post by gar on Mar 26, 2021 21:57:46 GMT
You may not know that you're going to die early when you have children, but you certainly know you'll die old. Why set up a child to be parentless at an early age? That's years they are definitely missing out on, not "maybe" missing out on. I can't imagine my 23 year old son worrying about caring for 80 year old me, and it would be a lot for someone so young, even with elder care already planned for and in place. It also feels like being a replacement child would be a hard burden, but they would definitely know they were wanted, so... Plus I'm 49 and can't imagine going back to raising a child all over again. My time is my own and I like it that way. I loved raising my kids but I can't imagine doing all the sleeplessness again along with working! I agree with you on everything you said. It's true that no one knows when they'll die but the odds are with most of us making a reasonably good age. His 20s/30s will feature aged parents and all that entails. I understand heir desire after such a tragic loss but I'm not sure it's 'fair' on the boy...and I know, life isn't always fair but that's still how I feel when it's a deliberate choice.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Mar 26, 2021 22:05:38 GMT
I have friends who lost a significantly-older-than-average parent at a young age and it's painful. Yep, fathers (and no, men don't get a pass from me on this matter). It's not any easier because they knew they'd likely lose their parent way earlier than most of their peers. They still feel robbed from the time they could've had together.
It's a decision that comes with a certain life sentence. Good luck to them for handling this as well as they can. Good luck to the kid who'll likely have neither parent when they become a parent themselves if they choose to have children one day (and who'll grow up without grandparents). This'll hurt sooner rather than later, alas.
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