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Post by iamkristinl16 on May 7, 2021 12:19:31 GMT
I'm on a moms Facebook page and am seeing a lot of complaints from moms about Mother's Day. It seems to me that a lot of the unhappiness around Mother's Day (at least in the situations I am seeing) comes from unrealistic expectations about what the day should be like. Just wondering if I have set my expectations too low, or theirs are too high.  A lot of these people are younger mothers, so I am also wondering if your expectations have changed over the years? What do you expect to happen on Mother's Day? |
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SweetieBsMom
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 7, 2021 12:22:35 GMT
Zero expectations.
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rickmer
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Post by rickmer on May 7, 2021 12:28:24 GMT
my boys are with their dad this weekend BUT agreement says due to mother's day i get them from 7pm saturday evening til monday (which becomes their week here anyway so yay!!).
i told them i am picking them up on saturday at their dad's - taking them to the grocery store and they can pick up stuff to make my mother's day breakfast - which can be at lunchtime cuz they are 14 and 15 so aren't the earliest risers!!
i dug out blank cards and they have to make me one each and write something thoughtful on it.
DD is 20 and always does everything, super sweet and thoughtful girl but it was my birthday last month and she went all out (well as all out as you can go in lockdown). i told her all i wanted was a book in a series i am reading and that her brothers can take care of all the "heavy lifting" this time!
then we will all play cards or some board games... and watch a movie or couple of episodes of invincible.
so those are my expectations, as i have basically planned the entire thing. lol!
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 7, 2021 12:31:34 GMT
I am hosting a brunch on Sunday for my mom and sister. The only thing I asked my kids is that they actually come and have brunch with grandma and me.
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Post by Really Red on May 7, 2021 12:32:48 GMT
Just a little of their time on Zoom. I have one in London and another in Switzerland and the last in college. We're all getting together and playing some games on Zoom for a couple hours. I am thrilled.
My one in CH was asked to go to her aunt's house and see her grandmom and she told me she didn't want to because she'd miss our zoom. I don't care at all!! We can choose another day easily. I just love having a little bit of my kids and online is just fine. In the end, we were able to move the time. I really wanted her to be with her grandmom.
My biggest expectation - off my diet for one day!!!
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iowgirl
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Post by iowgirl on May 7, 2021 12:38:24 GMT
Nothing.
Sometimes the kids get me a plant, but I really don't care if they do or not.
We are planting, and we are always planting on Mother's Day. Even if we were not, I would never want to go out and eat with the crowds to deal with.
I think it is a commercial holiday and it is nonsense. Women who get their panties in a wad over it are ridiculous.
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scrappert
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Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on May 7, 2021 12:42:11 GMT
No expectations.
I would just love to be at home, doing nothing.
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Post by AussieMeg on May 7, 2021 12:48:52 GMT
I'm going to the football with my dad, our team is playing at home so we don't want to miss it. Too bad if anyone else wants to do anything!  Just kidding. Kind of. One of DS's best mates, whose mum died about 10 years ago, is staying over on Saturday night, so I'll have an extra 'kid' for Mother's Day. Last year my kids cooked me a magnificent brunch. I think they will probably do that again. I'm not seeing my own mum on the day, instead I will go and stay with her for the weekend two weeks later. |
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Post by Patter on May 7, 2021 12:51:15 GMT
Zip, zero, nada expectations here. Everyone is working except one daughter (special education teacher). She is coming home to spend the weekend with me because no one else will be around. I love a quiet house and getting to do what I want in my studio so it's a win for me. |
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on May 7, 2021 12:52:01 GMT
From the mom groups on ig I follow, most moms comment that they want a day to just be alone, answer to no one, no need to cook and maybe watch movies and have snacks.
That would be nice for me but like every year, Sunday is the day we get stuff ready for the week. My dh is not big on dragging the kids out to buy stuff and then waits til last minute. My expectations are low.
Sometimes, in the past we brought flowers to the two Grandmothers.
It's a good day to stay off social media too.
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Post by freecharlie on May 7, 2021 12:53:09 GMT
This year?
Attending graduation.
I think dh has to work so maybe going up to my parents for dinner?
I'd like my kids to acknowledge it in some way. A hug, a card, a fb post...really whatever.
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bklyngal62
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Post by bklyngal62 on May 7, 2021 13:00:55 GMT
No expectations. I'm going to work and it's a regular day for me. We have never been a family of celebrating and gift giving.
On the other hand, hubby's family is all about money and gifts. Their way of thinking is if your child gives you a gift "You've brought them up right" .
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Post by fuji on May 7, 2021 13:01:49 GMT
I would appreciate a thoughtful text but know that won't happen. I really don't need anything big. Just some kind words. Mother's Day has always been about my MIL. One year I asked DH if I could stay home and correct papers because I had so much to do. That would have been an amazing gift that year because I was so stressed out. His response? "Mother's Day has absolutely nothing to do with you!" 😡😳 He has since realized that was not a wise thing to say. 😂
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Post by Darcy Collins on May 7, 2021 13:04:36 GMT
No cooking or washing dishes. My husband will buy me flowers as he always does - but really the only thing I want is to not think about meals for a day.
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Post by koontz on May 7, 2021 13:05:19 GMT
Oh when my kids were little I loved receiving the presents they'd made at school (think macaroni necklace), and later I helped remind their dad to have them buy me a present, because I did not want them to feel bad if they hadn`t thought of it. He always let them choose, and they always seemed to think I really liked Lego  . I have no expectations, they usually buy me a little something or a card and we try to have brunch or a nice meal together. |
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Deleted
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Nov 1, 2024 0:36:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2021 13:07:18 GMT
I have zero expectations. I always have. I never wanted jewelry or any of the other usual mother's day gifts. I actually don't really care about cards. I find them to be wasteful so I'm ok with my kids getting the cheapest one they can find.
All I really want is a day without expectations and plans. Since mother's day weekend is usually when we can safely plant without worry of frost, we usually spend the weekend getting the garden ready. DH is sending the boys out to get the dirt, bring it home, and help him till the garden.
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Post by koontz on May 7, 2021 13:07:26 GMT
I would appreciate a thoughtful text but know that won't happen. I really don't need anything big. Just some kind words. Mother's Day has always been about my MIL. One year I asked DH if I could stay home and correct papers because I had so much to do. That would have been an amazing gift that year because I was so stressed out. His response? "Mother's Day has absolutely nothing to do with you!" 😡😳 He has since realized that was not a wise thing to say. 😂 Ouch! That is really bad. I hope you did stay home! |
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kelly8875
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Post by kelly8875 on May 7, 2021 13:08:31 GMT
Mother's Day to me is visiting with my Mom (and used to be my Grandma until 2017). I'll take her flowers/plant and a favorite snack to her (Reese's PB cups, lol). I want to choose a meal to have, with no complaints from anyone...whether it be cooked at home, or at a restaurant, I haven't decided this year. That's pretty much it. I otherwise just want a chill day. No real expectations.
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keithurbanlovinpea
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on May 7, 2021 13:09:01 GMT
I think it is a commercial holiday and it is nonsense. Women who get their panties in a wad over it are ridiculous. My sentiments exactly. |
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psiluvu
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Post by psiluvu on May 7, 2021 13:09:57 GMT
No expectations, but my family usually comes through. We are still in lockdown so try to only go to the grocery store once a week. Dh was there yesterday and bought me flowers, a few days early but I love them. I make the menu and decided we are having sausages on a bun for Sunday. Ds works until 7:00pm and Dh works at 9:00pm so he naps in the late afternoon/evening. So with sausages on a bun quick and easy and little clean up for my guys and I don't have to do aything, exactly what I want for Mothers Day.
DD will probably send me a lovely gift from Amazon and Ds will stop by the gas station and buy me a couple of bags of my favourite candy.
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Post by myboysnme on May 7, 2021 13:11:34 GMT
Interesting question. I want to be acknowledged by my 2 sons in some way that let's me know they are thinking of me. With DS2 in California he will facetime me. He probably sent me a card. My birthday is in a week and I know he sent gifts that arrived already.
DS1 and his wife and daughter are going to eat with DH and I on Sat night. I usually pick up the tab so I won't be doing that this time.
For the last 5 or more years my boys would plant my summer plants for me in pots that I keep out front. I don't think DS1 will do that this year. Maybe DH will do it.
As for the actual day, I do what I want most days anyway, and I know DGD will be with me for a little while. That seems nice.
When I was a young mom I told my DH it was his responsibility to teach the boys to acknowledge me on that day and my birthday. I don't care if they make me a card or scrawl I love you on a napkin. But something. They do a good job with that.
My mom is living and is about 5 hours away. I made her some of her favorite sweet treats and mailed it to her with a nice card. I will call her as well.
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Post by tentoes on May 7, 2021 13:15:22 GMT
Every day is Mother's day for me. One of my girls calls me every day, another one calls two or three times a week, I live with my son's family and get to play with the grandkids daily, and when the 4th one calls I fall over! She's busy with her four kids, so don't hear from her often, but I've never doubted her love for me! They are all so supportive, and loving. I'm a lucky mama. |
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Post by tyra on May 7, 2021 13:29:23 GMT
DH, the 3yr old DS, and I are going to the zoo. The weather is going to be horrible, rain on and off all day, but we had to get our tickets weeks ago since they are by reservation only and no refunds. We invited my mom and my MIL/FIL, but the ILs decided that it is too much walking. My mom decided yesterday that she wanted to go. I was able to snag her the *last* ticket.
My older son will text me to say HMD, my DH will buy flowers at Walmart and get DS to sign a card.
It will be a good day. For Mother's Day I always choose something to do as a family.
What I REALLY want? To spend the day at home, by myself. That would never happen so didn't even ask.
Saw a TikTok, a woman said that she doesn't want to take care of anyone that came in her, or came out of her for Mother's Day. Yup, that about sums it up LOL
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Post by candygurl on May 7, 2021 13:29:33 GMT
We are doing a small get together the day before. That way the moms have the next day to relax and do nothing. Works well for us!
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Post by workingclassdog on May 7, 2021 13:33:10 GMT
I expect nothing because for years I didn't get anything.. (when the kids were younger and didn't really know).. DH is terrible in this area.. so Mother's Day, Christmas, Birthday.. I have accepted it and moved on. It took me years to get to this point. Now that my kids are older, my oldest daughter especially, she always does something really nice for me. So I just go on with life and if something happens, great, if not, it's another day. No worries.
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Post by cindytred on May 7, 2021 13:38:14 GMT
None. It's not even a blip on my radar.
Cindy
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2021 13:38:54 GMT
Brunch on the patio. A card. Scrapping. Reading. Hugs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2021 13:40:09 GMT
Do a fun activity with the kids and dh. The small amusement park recently reopened so we will go mini golfing! We are all so excited. 😁
We are having In n Out for dinner as it is safe for all of us so I don't have to cook.
I want to do some scrapbooking and may go out for a photo walk if it isn't too hot.
I already got 2 gifts. Dh asked if I wanted them when they came and I did (2 new Ina Garten cookbooks). The kids are giving me their gift on Sunday (new poultry sheers).
I think having spent several Mother's Days in Childrens, I am just happy to have both kids here.
I know many want to be pampered or have a day off.
To me, the kids made me mom and I should be with them not alone. 🤷♀️
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Post by padresfan619 on May 7, 2021 13:40:14 GMT
It is my first Mother’s Day so I guess I have no idea what to expect. I did ask for the opportunity to go back to bed after the early morning feeding of my son and waffles when I get up.
I have to share the day with my mom and nothing was more evident than when she asked me what I wanted for *my* Mother’s Day dinner, I gave her an idea and she shot it down and chose the dinner she wanted instead. No big deal, but why did you ask me in the first place? I chalk it up to her not being used to having to share the day. My mom likes us all to be together with her on Mother’s Day while I have a feeling I’ll be much more of a “take the kids and get out of my face” type of person.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 7, 2021 13:40:37 GMT
I would appreciate a thoughtful text but know that won't happen. I really don't need anything big. Just some kind words. Mother's Day has always been about my MIL. One year I asked DH if I could stay home and correct papers because I had so much to do. That would have been an amazing gift that year because I was so stressed out. His response? "Mother's Day has absolutely nothing to do with you!" 😡😳 He has since realized that was not a wise thing to say. 😂 Yes, why do such intelligent men sometimes say such stupid things? When I was literally a week away from giving birth on the Mother’s Day that fell right before my kid was born, my DH had the nerve to say to me, “You’re not a mother YET.” Excuse the hell out of me, but after carrying around that baby for 39 weeks I sure as hell FELT like one! Dick move, dude. NOT cool. 🤬 But to answer the question in the OP, my expectations are extremely low. DH doesn’t really believe in spending money on cards. We usually get hanging baskets for the house that he calls my Mother’s Day gift, but since that is something I don’t really care about and he does, it’s more for him than for me. When DD is in school, they usually do some little craft that she would bring home but with Covid and virtual school that didn’t happen last year and likely not this year either. Yesterday I bought myself some new Mickey Mouse oven mitts, a nice silicone spatula to replace one of the two that broke two weeks ago and a We R bow making tool to make bigger bows than the thing I already have from Tuesday Morning. It was my Mother’s Day gift to myself. What I really want is a $100 plug in app for Fusion 360 that instantly converts an SVG sketch into a fully modeled 3D cookie cutter to make printing cookie cutters easier and less time consuming. I know how to do it the step by step way, but it’s the difference between spending 20 minutes doing it vs. literally seconds. I have potentially thousands of my own original scrapbooking SVG cutting files (plus tons of new ideas bouncing around in my head) that could be converted into custom cookie cutters but I would really rather not spend years of my life doing it. ETA: What I will actually be doing this Mother’s Day is helping to install the flooring in our screen porch at the lake cabin that has been sitting in boxes for about two years. There’s nothing like doing back breaking work for a whole weekend right after you got a Covid shot and your arm feels like it’s going to fall off. Fun times, fun times. |
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A lot of these people are younger mothers, so I am also wondering if your expectations have changed over the years? What do you expect to happen on Mother's Day?
. I have no expectations, they usually buy me a little something or a card and we try to have brunch or a nice meal together. 
