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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 0:45:20 GMT
My 19 was working her retail job this afternoon when a dude more than twice her age commented uncomfortably that she had a pretty voice. Not that unusual for a cute young woman, even if unwelcome. But a couple of hours later he sent her a FB request...and older DD and DH. WTF?
The warning: Apparently she had where she works in her FB profile and that plus her name tag was enough for Creeper Dude to find her, so be careful about what is publicly visible.(She didn't even have her full name on her tag, only a shortened version of her nickname.)
Creeper Dude's FB page had only been created an hour before he sent the requests. It only contains a handful of profile photos that appear to be stolen from some doctor who lives across the country. I also found an insta with the same name and some of the same photos that was created in May. And a Twitter account that is a couple of years old that I suspect is the real doc's. The doc looks a little similar to Creeper Dude's main profile pic (he has a beard and sunglasses, doc is clean shaven), but you can tell they aren't the same person.
DH will meet DD at work tonight (and for the forseeable future), and she's let her managers know. He also posted privately on FB not to friend Creeper Dude in case he has sent any more requests.
I don't know what else to do. It seems a little thin to go to the cops with "umm, a guy hit on me a sent a FB request." It is definitely not enough to qualify for stalking or a restraining order (older DD had a stalker BF, so I've researched this issue). But the fake accounts and identity seem to me to go beyond just an old dude hitting on younger women--I'm worried he's a sex trafficker or something.
Thoughts?
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Post by Merge on Jun 23, 2021 0:58:58 GMT
That is scary. But how do you know the request came from creeper dude? I get random requests from fake accounts all the time.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jun 23, 2021 0:59:42 GMT
I would call the police to ask their advice. They may want more info or not, but at least they will know it is happening in your area.
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Post by epeanymous on Jun 23, 2021 1:01:28 GMT
Very little sex trafficking looks like strangers kidnapping women with social ties. I think it is creepy, and I think it is reasonable for her to be extra-alert for the next several days (and to take steps on social media to be hard to find by strangers), but sincerely, the probability is not high that this gentleman is doing anything other than being a super weirdo.
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Post by magellen on Jun 23, 2021 1:20:44 GMT
Did you know that there is messages kids now? I had someone messaging me to let them friend my kids? Turned the profile in to Facebook and they did nothing.
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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 1:26:35 GMT
That is scary. But how do you know the request came from creeper dude? I get random requests from fake accounts all the time. The main profile pic looked like the dude who hit on her in the store--she didn't say anything to us until she saw the request when she was on a break. All of the others pics were a similar looking dude who is a doctor. I think he stole the doctor's name and photos except the main profile where he's wearing glasses and has a beard. The doctor in the other pics is clean shaven. |
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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 1:29:02 GMT
Very little sex trafficking looks like strangers kidnapping women with social ties. I think it is creepy, and I think it is reasonable for her to be extra-alert for the next several days (and to take steps on social media to be hard to find by strangers), but sincerely, the probability is not high that this gentleman is doing anything other than being a super weirdo. That makes perfect sense. I'm probably just over-momming right now. The stolen identity and fake social media accounts just seem way too far. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Jun 23, 2021 1:29:55 GMT
I get creepy friend requests all the time with fake accounts. Is she sure it’s the same guy? It could just be a weird coincidence and I hope it is. Still I don’t blame her for being extra careful it can’t hurt.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 23, 2021 1:30:11 GMT
That is scary. But how do you know the request came from creeper dude? I get random requests from fake accounts all the time.  It could just be a weird coincidence that the FB friend requests came today, especially if the same person also friend requested her dad? I have an inordinate number of doctors, engineers and rocket scientist IG request me. Funny thing is there are more posts of DH than me on my feed.  I would definitely tell the manager that a customer made her uncomfortable and have someone meet her after work so she isn't leaving alone. |
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Post by Scrapper100 on Jun 23, 2021 1:30:57 GMT
That is scary. But how do you know the request came from creeper dude? I get random requests from fake accounts all the time. The main profile pic looked like the dude who hit on her in the store--she didn't say anything to us until she saw the request when she was on a break. All of the others pics were a similar looking dude who is a doctor. I think he stole the doctor's name and photos except the main profile where he's wearing glasses and has a beard. The doctor in the other pics is clean shaven. In that case I hope he gets bored snd doesn’t continue to bother your daughter. |
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 23, 2021 1:40:09 GMT
Is there a security guard at the retail place? security needs to know and also can provide escort to her car when she gets off.
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Post by ameslou on Jun 23, 2021 2:25:41 GMT
Can her manager shift her to a non-customer facing role for a few weeks?
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jun 23, 2021 2:37:47 GMT
I was stalked by my ex-husband.
In addition to the other safety things that have been mentioned.....
Tell her(and your Husband) to be careful and watchful, to she if she is being followed. If she thinks she is being followed, advise her not to drive home, she doesn't need the creep knowing where she lives. If she thinks she being followed, tell her stay on a busy street and do NOT turn into an unknown neighborhood.
Since he found her online, with little information, he may know more than you think.
Do not let her go outside alone, especially not for a walk.
Have your Husband be on the lookout on your street/by your home for the next little while. Take notice if someone appears to be slouching down in the drivers seat of a parked vehicle.
If she goes to any place or store, tell her to park as close to the door as possible and to be vigilant about looking over her shoulder.
If a van is backed in next to her, on the drivers side, do not go to the car. (they can slide that door open and make a grab in a matter of seconds).
If he enters the workplace again, tell her to immediately notify management and security if there is any.
If he enters the workplace again, if possible obtain his license plate number (if he has a vehicle).
If he enters the workplace, discretely take screenshots as proof.
Check retail location zip code(and surrounding zip codes) on the sex offender registry website for your city and state, see if anyone who looks like him is registered.
I would at the very least file a Police report, documenting that the customer actively sought her out online is trying to befriend her.
Be stalked is scary. I know way too much about protective measures, becuase of it.
It's been over twenty years and I still look over my shoulder. I still drive around or make unplanned turns if I think a car has been following me too long.
Edited to add.....if your Husband is picking her up from work for the next few days, tell him to case the parking lot to see if he is there lurking in a car.
If you think he knows which car is hers. Have you husband check the undercarriage, back side of bumpers for a tracking device.
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Post by Laurie on Jun 23, 2021 2:38:59 GMT
Something similar happened to my dd. We live in a small town of about 800-900 people so very hard to avoid him. He was sending her fb messenger messages, ig dm’s, drive by our house multiple times, would see her driving around town running errands and would follow her. He is very creepy and he has anger management issues. She blocked him on all social media. We had her keep a very low profile for most of that summer. We also installed outdoor cameras around our house which seems ridiculous when living in such a small town. We did this so 1)we could find out how often he was driving by, 2) if it got to the point we needed to go to police we had video evidence of the constant drive bys and 3) peace of mind while we were at work and she and our other dd were home alone. Dh also did a lot of work around the house outside so his presence was seen and he stared him down when he went by.
((Hugs))) I know what you are feeling and I am sure your daughter is uncomfortable with this as well.
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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 2:53:50 GMT
No security guard and I don’t think she can be moved to the back because front and back are classified as different positions and she’s never worked in the back.
Her managers love her and are pretty protective (there were some hostile customers when mask mandates were in place), so I know they’ll keep an eye out for her. But there are usually only 2-3 people working at the end of the day and it’s pretty deserted around there.
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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 3:14:51 GMT
Good tips, y’all, and some scary circumstances. We actually got our Ring doorbell years ago so we could monitor older DD’s ex-boyfriend’s drive-bys. He also created fake social accounts to try to follow her after he was blocked and kept showing up on her college campus. A chat with campus police finally put an end to it.
She’s finally home and we’ve talked about social media and being extra vigilant. She’ll only be working about another month before she heads back to college.
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Post by MissBianca on Jun 23, 2021 3:41:40 GMT
It might not be a bad idea to let the cops know. Even if they don’t do anything bedsides drive by at her job.
We had a similar issue at DS20’s job. A customer was stalking an employee to the point that he followed her to school, work and home. The guy got picked up and turns out he was on parole and is a registered sex offender and the coffee shop is near a school so he violated his parole. The girls mom filed for a restraining order while he was in jail. Not sure why but at a hearing the judged asked if this guy was stalking the girl and he said yes. He told the judge he was going to kidnap and harm her. We think he’s still locked up but she quit the job shortly after and works in another town now.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Jun 23, 2021 4:52:29 GMT
Perhaps have her consider removing where she works and which College she goes to off her profile. If she drives take different routes and pay attention who is driving behind her.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,630
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 23, 2021 10:47:18 GMT
No security guard and I don’t think she can be moved to the back because front and back are classified as different positions and she’s never worked in the back. Her managers love her and are pretty protective (there were some hostile customers when mask mandates were in place), so I know they’ll keep an eye out for her. But there are usually only 2-3 people working at the end of the day and it’s pretty deserted around there. Honestly? I'd sit in the parking lot at the end of the day to keep an eye on things if I was really worried about how deserted it is. |
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peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,588 
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Post by peabrain on Jun 23, 2021 12:06:35 GMT
Do you live in a small town or a big city? A big city police department may not have time for this, but a small town pd may have more time to look into it. Also it's good for local pd's to know who is in their jurisdiction.
Also, does your state have a sex offender registry? It may be wise to run whatever name you think is correct through the state's sex offender registry site.
Finally, I would take some of those photos you think are really him and do a google image search.
Good luck to you all.
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Post by Zee on Jun 23, 2021 12:43:57 GMT
Is her last name on her name tag? That policy should be revisited. And i never put my city or employer in my social media profiles, and also hide my friends list and keep everything locked down.
As for the friend request, block and move on. I wouldn't worry about it anymore unless he starts showing up in person.
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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 13:39:16 GMT
Honestly? I'd sit in the parking lot at the end of the day to keep an eye on things if I was really worried about how deserted it is. That's what we're doing. She's also gone through and locked down her social media--she didn't realize any part of her FB was public. Only part of her first name is on her nametag, but as we were talking we realized that the store prints the first name and last initial on receipts. She didn't check out the guy yesterday, but I suppose she could have in the past. We're in a large metro area with lots of suburbs. The city she works isn't the same as the one we live in, but both are large--probably too large to get any police attention. We moved a couple of years ago from a much smaller town where there definitely would have been more interest in something like this. I did check the sex offender registry but didn't turn up much. We'll just be diligent and hope he goes away. |
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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 13:43:03 GMT
Do you live in a small town or a big city? A big city police department may not have time for this, but a small town pd may have more time to look into it. Also it's good for local pd's to know who is in their jurisdiction. Also, does your state have a sex offender registry? It may be wise to run whatever name you think is correct through the state's sex offender registry site. Finally, I would take some of those photos you think are really him and do a google image search. Good luck to you all. One of the first things I did was the image search and all it turned up was every dude ever with a beard and sunglasses and the wikipedia definition of "man." It was kind of funny, but not helpful. |
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Post by Megan on Jun 23, 2021 15:43:08 GMT
the store prints the first name and last initial on receipts Too late if this guy is a creeper but I'd ask the store to use a fake name. Actual employees could know her name is "Maria" but have "Morgan" print out on the receipts. |
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,051
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Post by artbabe on Jun 23, 2021 16:00:38 GMT
Ugh. I had that problem when I was younger and prettier. I used to get a lot of attention from creepers. Luckily social media didn't exist and they got tired pretty quickly.
My sister was 3rd key at Chess King (remember those?) and she was alone closing out the register when she looked up and a guy was standing in front of her masturbating. Fortunately that was all he wanted to do. Scary.
Now it is pretty easy to find me anyway if you know my first and last name because I am a public school teacher and everything about me comes up immediately if you Google. I hate that. Google is scary.
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Post by miominmio on Jun 23, 2021 16:05:08 GMT
Very little sex trafficking looks like strangers kidnapping women with social ties. I think it is creepy, and I think it is reasonable for her to be extra-alert for the next several days (and to take steps on social media to be hard to find by strangers), but sincerely, the probability is not high that this gentleman is doing anything other than being a super weirdo. That makes perfect sense. I'm probably just over-momming right now. The stolen identity and fake social media accounts just seem way too far. You’re not necessarily overly protective. True story from Norwegian news this week: two years ago a young woman saw a man who appeared to be in distress in a park. She asked him if he was okay, and that was the start of two years of stalking. She changed her name, and she and her little girl lives on a secret address. Yes, creeper dude might give up in a few days, or he May not. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 23, 2021 16:17:46 GMT
I would also have her change her privacy settings so that strangers can't message or send her friend requests, at least for the rest of the summer. She needs to delete any info about school, location, etc. If you think this is a threat then call the local police department's non emergency number and ask for advice. They'll have great tips to help you. ITA, w/changing her name in the computer and giving her a tag w/a fake name. Her manager should contact the regional/district manager and document all of this. The IT dept. should be able to make the computer changes. Creepy indeed.
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Post by maryland on Jun 23, 2021 16:21:25 GMT
My daughter's boyfriend (21 yrs. old) worked as a busboy and a waiter starting at age 16. He often had creepy older women hitting on him too. He and his co-workers would often switch tables with each other when they felt uncomfortable with the people at their table. His house was right next to the restaurant, so he was very careful when he left so they wouldn't know where he lived. I feel bad for waiters and waitresses that are made to feel uncomfortable because of their customer's behavior.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,152
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Jun 23, 2021 17:13:01 GMT
Honestly? I'd sit in the parking lot at the end of the day to keep an eye on things if I was really worried about how deserted it is. That's what we're doing. She's also gone through and locked down her social media--she didn't realize any part of her FB was public. Only part of her first name is on her nametag, but as we were talking we realized that the store prints the first name and last initial on receipts. She didn't check out the guy yesterday, but I suppose she could have in the past. We're in a large metro area with lots of suburbs. The city she works isn't the same as the one we live in, but both are large--probably too large to get any police attention. We moved a couple of years ago from a much smaller town where there definitely would have been more interest in something like this. I did check the sex offender registry but didn't turn up much. We'll just be diligent and hope he goes away. Make sure she doesn't list her college anywhere either! If he friend requested your dh, he also did a quick search and likely knows your address. Be vigilant, hopefully just a weirdo who won't be a problem, but i'd definitely watchful. |
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Post by supersoda on Jun 23, 2021 18:15:17 GMT
Make sure she doesn't list her college anywhere either! If he friend requested your dh, he also did a quick search and likely knows your address. Be vigilant, hopefully just a weirdo who won't be a problem, but i'd definitely watchful. Ugh--I didn't even think about that, and I should have. I use tax records all the time at work to confirm addresses. Fortunately, we've got a security system with cameras everywhere, and two big, protective dogs who make sure we know anytime anyone approaches the house (usually annoying, but I guess they're off the hook for a bit). Luckily she's off for the next couple of days, so maybe he'll go away if she's not around. |
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It could just be a weird coincidence that the FB friend requests came today, especially if the same person also friend requested her dad?
