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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 17:11:09 GMT
I am probably one of the most laid back people you will ever meet. But I have an ongoing problem with people asking me to provide crafts for them. I know I share posts about my crafting on my Facebook wall but I don't get where people have the chutzpah to just ask you to make things for them.
I get it all the time with my crochet. And I finally posted on my wall after a run in with my cousin's wife around Thanksgiving last year about how long it takes me to make things and how it's my hobby and I only want to spend time making things that I want to make.
But I've just returned back home from my lunch time walk and I have a Facebook message by an acquaintance asking me if I will make a scrapbook for her high school senior for his graduation next year. I gave my standard response which is no, but I'd be happy to guide you to some resources so you can do it. And then I got back the same exact response as my cousin...I don't have the time to do so.
Time. She doesn't have the time. But I have the time apparently.
What in the hell are people doing with all their time that they don't have time to craft but I do? She has a whole year to get it done.
Anyway, that's my vent. And I know I've vented before about this topic. But I'm honestly at a loss as to what to say to these people. I just want to slap them and say what the hell are you doing with your time that I have more of it than you do?
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Post by gar on Jun 28, 2021 17:12:24 GMT
Sounds like you need to go into business  |
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,662 
Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Jun 28, 2021 17:13:11 GMT
That's ridiculous. I'm sorry.  |
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Post by Zee on Jun 28, 2021 17:15:52 GMT
I don't take those comments personally because I, in fact, DO have more spare time than others with my kids being gone. Doesn't mean I'm going to make crafts for everyone!
People think I can just pick up a cheap dollhouse on marketplace and refinish it and sell it. No--even when the house is cheap, a ton of money and work goes into it and no one would want to pay me for that. Paintings, Cricut projects, etc I'm not doing that as a side job because that would take the fun out of it for me.
I will happily make things as gifts when it's my idea.
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rgibson
Full Member
Posts: 467
Apr 26, 2021 22:49:21 GMT
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Post by rgibson on Jun 28, 2021 17:16:46 GMT
The first rule of craft club is you do not talk about craft club   It drives me crazy too - "it must be so nice to have time to do that". Listen lady, we all have 24 hours in a day, you spend yours one way, I spend mine another! I follow Can you sew this for me on Instagram - mind blowing what people think they can ask of others! |
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Jun 28, 2021 17:16:49 GMT
You could infer that she thinks her time is more valuable than yours, or her life is filled with more important things than yours. She's "busy", while you are not. It's potentially insulting, or, on a lesser scale, annoying in a "this person is clueless" way.
It would be great to have a catchy, standard response to the 'I don't have time' comment. Maybe "we all have the same 24 hours" or "you can make time for your priorities..." I dunno.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Jun 28, 2021 17:18:24 GMT
Oooohh the comment about her not having time and implying you do?!?! Not cool at all.
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Post by peano on Jun 28, 2021 17:20:45 GMT
I am validating you!  |
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Post by bigbundt on Jun 28, 2021 17:21:06 GMT
They don't have less time, they just don't want to do it. We generally find time to do what we want. And they ask someone they know because they figure it will be cheaper than going to someone who has an actual business doing it.
I think your answer is fine but I wouldn't even add the part about giving them resources to do it themselves since they are looking to "outsource" the work. Maybe find people who do it and refer them. Or not, you aren't obligated to do their legwork for them.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jun 28, 2021 17:22:36 GMT
Ugggg I had a neighbor ask me to make an album for her great grandbaby but she offered to pay as well. I made her a book (small one 8x8) 20 pages. I honestly don't even remember now if she paid me or not. lol But yeah I probably won't do it again.. although it was fun to do some baby pages. I guess I would tell people you pay me UP FRONT and you'll do it.. and charge 3 times more than what you want.  |
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Post by Zee on Jun 28, 2021 17:23:06 GMT
Also, I admit I'm disappointed that this thread is not judging other people's shitty crafts.
Now I'm all for learning and improving, but those Cricut groups--all I can think of is a Goodwill filled with their ugly mugs and cups and crappy t-shirts with bad design made for a one-time event like a gender reveal party.
And the things people will put vinyl on--someone wanted ideas for cutesy sayings on the toilet for her kids. Someone wants to decorate Orbit gum packages. Another wants ideas for a funeral. Stop the madness.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 28, 2021 17:24:50 GMT
I hear you.  They like/want the end product but have no interest in putting in the work or valuing your time to do the work for them. I might tell them my current project backlog has me booked through 2050 so I'm not taking on new projects at this time. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 17:27:02 GMT
Sounds like you need to go into business I make far more money at my full time job than I would crafting. Plus, it would take all the fun out of it, I think. I don't take those comments personally because I, in fact, DO have more spare time than others with my kids being gone. I hate this comparison of free time. It's absolutely true, my kids are grown now. But all those years of raising kids and trying to sneak in craft time here and there, I still managed to keep my scrapbooks up to date for the most part. And you know after all the time I did sacrifice to raising my kids, I feel absolutely no guilt at this point in my life about doing whatever I want to do with my free time. No empty nester should. We earned that time.  No--even when the house is cheap, a ton of money and work goes into it and no one would want to pay me for that. This too. Hours upon hours of work go into a crocheted blanket or a scrapbook. No one could afford to fairly compensate me for that kind of investment of my time. I'm going to look this up. I posted here because I know that most of you guys are crafters too, so you get it. It seems to be a common problem. It's potentially insulting, or, on a lesser scale, annoying in a "this person is clueless" way. That's what I feel about this. Either it's insulting or (like I try to default to less nefarious thoughts), the person is clueless. But clearly if she thinks she doesn't have enough time, then she has some idea about the overwhelming magnitude of a project she is asking me to undertake on her behalf, no? |
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Post by dewryce on Jun 28, 2021 17:28:20 GMT
Vent away! Iâve had that issue before, just not with crafts. I have no job and no children so yes, I do have more time. But guess what? Itâs still MY time to do with as I please, and I donât owe it to anyone. I also love the judgemental âWhat do you DO all day?â Whatever I damn well please  I word it as âWhatever I Wantâ but they get the picture. The issue has also come up when on vacation with family. Sometimes I chose not to go do whatever it is everyone else was doing. Often I was too tired, in a lot of pain, or just needed a mental break. But the assumption was, since Iâd be at the cabin/hotel/wherever, that they could just leave some of the kids there, especially babies and toddlers, so they can go enjoy. Sometimes I would offer, but much of the time I just wanted to relax and enjoy my vacation too, I did not go to babysit. |
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Post by papersilly on Jun 28, 2021 17:29:00 GMT
people assume that just because we craft, we have nothing but time on our hands. that's why they ask.
on the contrary, we are all busy. it's hard finding time to craft because crafting is a low priority compared to working, family, and the drudgery of everyday chores.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 17:29:01 GMT
Also, I admit I'm disappointed that this thread is not judging other people's shitty crafts. Now I'm all for learning and improving, but those Cricut groups--all I can think of is a Goodwill filled with their ugly mugs and cups and crappy t-shirts with bad design made for a one-time event like a gender reveal party. And the things people will put vinyl on--someone wanted ideas for cutesy sayings on the toilet for her kids. Someone wants to decorate Orbit gum packages. Another wants ideas for a funeral. Stop the madness. This made me LOL! Please feel free to take this thread in another (more humorous) direction! |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jun 28, 2021 17:29:39 GMT
jeremysgirl you are not alone. I make things when I want and what I want!
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,143
Location: New York, NY
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Post by christinec68 on Jun 28, 2021 17:30:25 GMT
You could infer that she thinks her time is more valuable than yours, or her life is filled with more important things than yours. She's "busy", while you are not. It's potentially insulting, or, on a lesser scale, annoying in a "this person is clueless" way. It would be great to have a catchy, standard response to the 'I don't have time' comment. Maybe "we all have the same 24 hours" or "you can make time for your priorities..." I dunno. All of this!! This is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially at work. |
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Post by Zee on Jun 28, 2021 17:31:40 GMT
Oh believe me, I don't feel guilty about having more spare time--it's just the truth, I have more time to do what I want to do than a lot of people. I still work full time and all that but my time is all mine to fill however I like. And you bet, we earned it!
Off to paint my nails and then go for a nice brisk walk in the blazing sun đ before heading off to work đ©
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Post by SockMonkey on Jun 28, 2021 17:31:40 GMT
I am probably one of the most laid back people you will ever meet. But I have an ongoing problem with people asking me to provide crafts for them. I know I share posts about my crafting on my Facebook wall but I don't get where people have the chutzpah to just ask you to make things for them. I get it all the time with my crochet. And I finally posted on my wall after a run in with my cousin's wife around Thanksgiving last year about how long it takes me to make things and how it's my hobby and I only want to spend time making things that I want to make. But I've just returned back home from my lunch time walk and I have a Facebook message by an acquaintance asking me if I will make a scrapbook for her high school senior for his graduation next year. I gave my standard response which is no, but I'd be happy to guide you to some resources so you can do it. And then I got back the same exact response as my cousin...I don't have the time to do so. Time. She doesn't have the time. But I have the time apparently. What in the hell are people doing with all their time that they don't have time to craft but I do? She has a whole year to get it done. Anyway, that's my vent. And I know I've vented before about this topic. But I'm honestly at a loss as to what to say to these people. I just want to slap them and say what the hell are you doing with your time that I have more of it than you do? I'll validate you. My petty ass would be very tempted to say, "Well, we all have the same 24 hours in the day, so I guess it's all about what you prioritize." |
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Post by peasapie on Jun 28, 2021 17:32:17 GMT
I actually do have a response when people ask me to sew for them. I say, "It would cost you too much money to pay me to make it."
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 16, 2024 4:10:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2021 17:32:34 GMT
I get it with sewing - "Can you do xyz it will only take five minutes" is the usual. This is usually from people that have already told me they can't sew. How come they know it will only take five minutes if they can't sew themselves - makes me so angry. And very often they need something in a couple of days or even sometimes the following day.
I pick and choose what I do now and only to people that really appreciate the time or I'm close to. If I don't want to do it I tell them straight "sorry I don't have time to take anything on at the moment" or " Sorry I've stopped taking on any outside work but I can recommend so and so to you"
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Post by SockMonkey on Jun 28, 2021 17:32:43 GMT
You could infer that she thinks her time is more valuable than yours, or her life is filled with more important things than yours. She's "busy", while you are not. It's potentially insulting, or, on a lesser scale, annoying in a "this person is clueless" way. It would be great to have a catchy, standard response to the 'I don't have time' comment. Maybe "we all have the same 24 hours" or "you can make time for your priorities..." I dunno. I just read your post after responding with the same thing! |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 17:32:46 GMT
I also love the judgemental âWhat do you DO all day?â Whatever I damn well please I word it as âWhatever I Wantâ but they get the picture. You do you. Unless you ask me to produce a project for you...then I will go right ahead and say, what do you do all day? LMAO. |
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,766
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Jun 28, 2021 17:33:11 GMT
Definitely validated. What you do with your spare time is your choice, in exactly the same way as what they do with theirs is their choice.
I think all crafters have been bitten by this though. It can be hard to draw the line between giving your time to making things for others for personal satisfaction, and giving more than we feel appreciated. Once bitten, twice shy.
I've never forgotten the 3 months that I spent making a scrapbook for the vicar when he left the parish, and what I heard he said afterwards. And I've never scrapped since. I'm not going to let that happen to my crochet.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,193
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
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Post by lesley on Jun 28, 2021 17:34:53 GMT
âI can barely keep up with the projects I want to do for myself! I am sure you will understand that as I work full-time, do x, y, and z, I donât have time to take on commissions for other people. But thank you for the compliment of wanting me to do it - Iâll be sure to let you know if I ever decide to go into business!â  |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 28, 2021 17:38:25 GMT
âI can barely keep up with the projects I want to do for myself! I am sure you will understand that as I work full-time, do x, y, and z, I donât have time to take on commissions for other people. But thank you for the compliment of wanting me to do it - Iâll be sure to let you know if I ever decide to go into business!â We have a winner! There's the response. It's as nice as I can possibly get. |
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Post by auntkelly on Jun 28, 2021 17:41:03 GMT
I think your standard response was just fine.
The world really is divided into givers and takers.
The givers would never ask someone they knew only casually to make them something. The takers don't think twice about asking someone to make something for them. I don't think the takers think much about getting turned down. They know they wouldn't say "yes' if someone asked them to make them something. The taker will just move on and see if they can get something for free from the next schmuck. Meanwhile, the givers sit around and feel bad about saying "no" to an unreasonable request.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,539
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Post by MerryMom on Jun 28, 2021 17:47:52 GMT
After I said No and gave the person resources, I wouldnât respond to a comment about the other person not having time.
Other than thinking of all the snarky responses I could have said (wink).
Maybe add wordage to your craft posts that you donât do commissioned work?
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Post by ntsf on Jun 28, 2021 17:53:12 GMT
I would say something to a scrapbook something like.. "my starting price is $500.. for the first 10 hours. and it goes up by time and material after that"..
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I word it as âWhatever I Wantâ but they get the picture.
