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Post by jenjie on Aug 25, 2021 22:27:52 GMT
DD’s wedding is Sunday! Everything is coming along beautifully. Please understand I’m happy to tip, I’m just confused about it. I wish it would have just been included in or added to the overall price.I just double checked the contract and gratuity was not mentioned at all.
I’ve been reading different websites that are saying you are supposed to do a cash tip in an envelope for each person who works with you? Should I ask the venue how many servers etc there will be? Rehearsal is tomorrow, should I just ask then?
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Post by mikewozowski on Aug 25, 2021 22:40:08 GMT
i wouldn't tip each individual server. you should be able to tip the company providing the servers and they should be able to split it up.
we had envelopes for most people. idk if we had one for the florist, which if we didn't i am glad. we also did not have one for the attendant at the venue. i didn't know there was such a person. they didn't really do anything except make sure we were out on time. i also think that if i am paying thousands of dollars for a venue, they can pay their own employees appropriately.
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Post by librarylady on Aug 25, 2021 22:40:59 GMT
I just asked my contact at the venue if the wait staff should be tipped or not.
She replied, "Oh, no tip! We pay them a decent salary."
I would just ask.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 25, 2021 23:55:55 GMT
My wedding was many years ago, but we weren't told to tip and we had a wedding planner. Everything was included in the cost. All of our vendors were small business owners and the tips for servers, wine stewards were taken out of the cost of the venue. Things might have changed. I've been married a long time.
Congratulations jenjie and my best wishes to the bride and groom for a long, healthy, happy life together. |
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Post by jenjie on Aug 25, 2021 23:57:11 GMT
Thanks friends! I will definitely ask tomorrow.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 25, 2021 23:59:32 GMT
I'd be super careful about handing out cash envelopes before you receive the bill from the caterer. It is absolutely often included. I hope everything goes smoothly!
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Post by fuji on Aug 26, 2021 1:43:04 GMT
Definitely check the contract. My DD's wedding was 2 weeks ago. She is a server, so she is very good about tipping. She had tip envelopes for almost everyone (hair, makeup, decorator, DJ, shuttle driver, etc.). However, the venue included the gratuity for the meal and open bar, so we didn't provide an additional tip for them.
ETA: I see you looked at the contract. I would contact the venue or caterer to make sure. It's almost always included.
Enjoy the big day! It's exhausting, but so fun to celebrate your child finding their "person"!
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,524 
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Post by ellen on Aug 26, 2021 1:49:15 GMT
At my daughter's wedding an 18% tip was part of the bill. It made it much easier. Our daughter got married in June. It was a whirlwind, but it really was fun. Enjoy!
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Post by elaine on Aug 26, 2021 1:53:08 GMT
I have no additional advice, jenjie. I just wanted to pop in and say Mazel Tov! |
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Post by jenjie on Aug 26, 2021 2:58:53 GMT
Definitely check the contract. My DD's wedding was 2 weeks ago. She is a server, so she is very good about tipping. She had tip envelopes for almost everyone (hair, makeup, decorator, DJ, shuttle driver, etc.). However, the venue included the gratuity for the meal and open bar, so we didn't provide an additional tip for them. ETA: I see you looked at the contract. I would contact the venue or caterer to make sure. It's almost always included. Enjoy the big day! It's exhausting, but so fun to celebrate your child finding their "person"! Thanks! Congratulations to dd. |
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Post by flanz on Aug 26, 2021 3:08:19 GMT
No advice, but wishing you a fabulous wedding experience!
May your dd and her dh be happy together for decades to come!
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Post by ntsf on Aug 26, 2021 3:18:38 GMT
I hate to be debbie downer.. but you might think about if the smoke comes to the bay as they are predicting. think about alternatives? how bad does it have to be to do an alternative...
they are saying the wind will shift from west to a north-to-south wind. it is hard to know if we will be affected.
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Post by jenjie on Aug 26, 2021 3:24:01 GMT
I hate to be debbie downer.. but you might think about if the smoke comes to the bay as they are predicting. think about alternatives? how bad does it have to be to do an alternative... they are saying the wind will shift from west to a north-to-south wind. it is hard to know if we will be affected. 😊 wrong thread? |
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,153
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Aug 26, 2021 12:16:02 GMT
dd is a server at a high end restaurant that frequently has weddings/functions. She's worked a couple of the functions and says that the gratuity is generally on the bill, but frequently the customer will give an additional tip, which I assume is given to the coordinator because it was then divided among the servers. She's never gotten anything individually, they work events as a team.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 9, 2024 23:04:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2021 12:27:29 GMT
Don't have any info to offer...just wanted to say I am excited for you and your family. Would love to see pics if you feel like sharing.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 9, 2024 23:04:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 26, 2021 12:43:37 GMT
No advice on the tipping ( I think the US tipping culture is insane  ) but I did want to wish you all a lovely day and wish your DD and her future husband a long and happy life together. |
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,176
Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on Aug 26, 2021 13:32:38 GMT
Happy Wedding weekend Jenjie. I understand it will be bittersweet for you and your DD, you will both feel his presence on Sunday.
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Post by melanell on Aug 26, 2021 14:28:08 GMT
My own wedding was over 20 years ago and my kids are not of marrying age yet, but back then, we did not have to tip the servers & bartenders. Their wages and tip were included in our per guest cost of the reception.
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Post by jenjie on Aug 26, 2021 15:14:54 GMT
Happy Wedding weekend Jenjie. I understand it will be bittersweet for you and your DD, you will both feel his presence on Sunday. Thank you. Yes bittersweet for sure. |
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Post by malibou on Aug 26, 2021 15:16:58 GMT
Many congratulations on your daughters upcoming wedding. Wishing her a lifetime of giggles with her favorite person.
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Post by flanz on Aug 26, 2021 16:42:07 GMT
I hate to be debbie downer.. but you might think about if the smoke comes to the bay as they are predicting. think about alternatives? how bad does it have to be to do an alternative... they are saying the wind will shift from west to a north-to-south wind. it is hard to know if we will be affected. Not intending to hijeck, but I think you might be thinking of our daughter's Sept 20 wedding in the Oakland Hills. Smoke and wildfire threat are a huge consideration, to be sure. At this point we're expecting 40 people at the wedding and it could be held indoors at the large house "the kids" rent with some housemates, which is the venue for the reception. We have about a dozen close fam and friends planning to fly in from Canada but several are approaching the point of not feeling safe flying and possibly getting stuck in the U.S., unable to return to Canada. |
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Post by jenjie on Aug 31, 2021 17:19:45 GMT
Updating - the tip is not included in the bill so I asked how many would be working. One of DD’s bridesmaids actually works there, so I asked her. She said tipping isn’t expected and they are super happy to receive tips. she is happy even if someone just gives her $5. She also mentioned a few extra people besides servers and bartenders, so I was glad to know that.
I ended up doing individual envelopes with a thank you note to each. Servers and bartenders each got $40 and I gave the coordinator and banquet manager each $150. Much easier to swallow than 15-20% of the bill! But enough to be generous. I didn’t want to be cheap anyway but especially since she works there! They truly did an excellent job, no complaints whatsoever.
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) but I did want to wish you all a lovely day and wish your DD and her future husband a long and happy life together.
