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Tacky?
Sept 7, 2021 23:58:46 GMT
t2x likes this
Post by beaglemom on Sept 7, 2021 23:58:46 GMT
Since I know the peas love tacky things I wanted to share the one in my life right now.
I am also in a bitchy mood toward her at the moment because of other issues, so that is clouding my opinion. I do understand that in the time of covid things are different.
We are throwing a West coast shower for my sister (which I know isn't always seen as kosher for family to do it, but I also got stuck throwing the bridal shower and bachelorette party). 16 people are coming. Originally she wanted an online shower as well. There are about 50 people on that list.
Now she is saying no online shower before baby, she might do an online sip and see event after the baby arrives.
So her solution is to send out a pregnancy announcement to those people that she was going to invite (or possibly everyone).
I realize that in the time of covid this might be less of a faux pas than in normal times. She hasn't posted on social media about her pregnancy, so the only people that know have heard via word of mouth. They will be sending out a baby announcement after the baby arrives. They have sent out nothing (no Christmas cards, moving announcements - they have moved at least 2 if not 3 times-- or anything) since they got married 8 years ago. actual text:
We are so excited to share that our family is growing! While 2020 & 2021 have given us more than our fair share of challenges, we could not feel more blessed to have been with this delight in the midst of it all. We look forward to live hugs and celebrations in the not-so-far future. With love, xxx & xxx registry link
I will not be sharing my opinion with her on it, but I would be interested to hear what the peas think. Maybe in the time of covid anything goes.
I realize that I am biased and pissy with her -- she asked us to move to a different state to be near them and then after we bought a house she decided that she wants to live somewhere else on the other side of the country instead -- so she's not my favorite person at the moment.
I also have thousands of dollars worth of stuff that I have been saving for her (clothes, shoes, blankets, sheets, bump cloths, bibs, crib mattress, crib, swing, bouncy seat, strollers, changing table, nursing pump, carriers, breast feeding pillow, etc) ---at her request --- that I have been storing and adding to as my kids have been growing up the last 10 years. Now faced with the fact that she isn't going to be living near us she is putting things on her registry because she doesn't want to pay to move all the stuff that I have been saving for her.
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 8, 2021 0:06:31 GMT
Well I’ll chime right in and say the announcement is fine - including the registry link on your own announcement super tacky.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Sept 8, 2021 0:09:04 GMT
I think registry links on any invitation or announcement are tacky.
But I don't see anything wrong with announcing a baby. No one is owed a pregnancy announcement, nor is anyone owed a gift in exchange for an announcement.
I'll never get the way some peas equate all weddings and babies with gift grabs. Give gifts if you can and you want to, or don't. I'd rather receive a heartfelt good wish than a gift that is grudgingly given.
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 8, 2021 0:10:42 GMT
Well I’ll chime right in and say the announcement is fine - including the registry link on your own announcement super tacky. This is exactly what I was thinking. It is easy to find registry information in this day and age. Send out announcements, but not the registry link. I'd be selling the baby items.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Sept 8, 2021 0:11:41 GMT
I'm just amazed that there is a pregnant woman out there who isn't flooding social media with pregnancy play by plays.
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Post by beaglemom on Sept 8, 2021 0:12:59 GMT
I think registry links on any invitation or announcement are tacky. But I don't see anything wrong with announcing a baby. No one is owed a pregnancy announcement, nor is anyone owed a gift in exchange for an announcement. I'll never get the way some peas equate all weddings and babies with gift grabs. Give gifts if you can and you want to, or don't. I'd rather receive a heartfelt good wish than a gift that is grudgingly given. The pregnancy announcement seems odd to me, since I know she will be sending out a baby announcement after. It's really the registry part that is rubbing me wrong. I never posted that on any of my kid's birth announcements and never expected gifts based on those announcements either.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 8, 2021 0:16:58 GMT
Sending a gift registry w/a pg announcement is spectacularly tacky. You got pregnant. I had no say in the matter and I don't owe you a gift. Now, sending a baby announcement after the baby is born, because you couldn't have a shower, due to COVID makes sense. DO NOT send a registry with said announcement. Everyone knows where you would have registered. It's 2021. If you beg me for a gift then you get air.
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Post by craftedbys on Sept 8, 2021 0:18:50 GMT
Radio silence for a number of years and then an announcement with registry link?
Tacky. Tacky. TACKY.
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Post by Lexica on Sept 8, 2021 0:22:49 GMT
I hear your frustration and validate you for it. I would be frustrated too. Especially since you moved at her request and saved the things at her request. My solution - sell everything via whatever online site you would prefer and use the proceeds to treat yourself to something that you might not have bought for yourself. If there is no item that would give you pleasure, perhaps a trip somewhere? Or rather than selling online, do you have a baby consignment shop near you? We have a couple of them here and I sold many of my son's baby things there.
I also had a yard sale where I sold a lot of things. By the time I got around to selling his crib and everything my son was already 5 or so and dearly wanted a Nintendo machine. We used the money from his baby things to buy the machine and multiple games that he played with an older neighbor boy. The original Nintendo had been out for a couple of years which shows you how very long ago this was!
I also gave some other baby things away to a very sweet pregnant girl who turned up at the yard sale. She was very young, wasn't wearing a wedding ring (although I have no idea whether she had a spouse/partner to help pay for things or not since I didn't ask) and she fell in love with my son's baby Uggs but decided on a few other things that were more practical. There was no way I was letting her leave without those Uggs so I gathered several things that she had been looking at and made a gift of them to her. She was thrilled to have them. We both cried.
It sounds as if your sister is easily moved by whims. Perhaps it is best to stand back until the dust settles next time? Do what you want and need rather than react to her wishes.
---------------------- I want to echo everyone's sentiments on the gift registry being included with her pregnancy announcement. Super tacky. I even find a pregnancy announcement itself weird, but then I'm an introvert. I only sent out announcements after my son's birth because my mom really wanted me to let our Canadian relatives know that another baby had been born. I don't remember whether those announcements garnered any gifts or not. I wasn't even comfortable receiving gifts at the baby shower. I really dislike being the center of attention. My husband had a good job and we waited until we could afford a baby and all the expenses that came with it so receiving gifts just felt weird. I did cherish the handmade items though. I still have every one of those. I was hoping to pass them to my son's baby but they have decided against having a family.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,053
Jul 4, 2014 6:57:02 GMT
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Post by AllieC on Sept 8, 2021 0:27:43 GMT
I don't have an issue with the announcement, I think that's a nice way to do it but I wouldn't put registry info on it.
I understand your frustration with your sister over the move but that was in your control surely? I am super close to both my sisters but there is no way I would move states to live near them because that's what they wanted. I think you need to let this part go, it's a huge move for sure but you did have the option to not do it.
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Post by freecharlie on Sept 8, 2021 0:27:46 GMT
I think registry links on any invitation or announcement are tacky. But I don't see anything wrong with announcing a baby. No one is owed a pregnancy announcement, nor is anyone owed a gift in exchange for an announcement. I'll never get the way some peas equate all weddings and babies with gift grabs. Give gifts if you can and you want to, or don't. I'd rather receive a heartfelt good wish than a gift that is grudgingly given. The pregnancy announcement seems odd to me, since I know she will be sending out a baby announcement after. It's really the registry part that is rubbing me wrong. I never posted that on any of my kid's birth announcements and never expected gifts based on those announcements either. I thought that was going to be the birth announcement. I don't mind the pg announcement to CLOSE friends and such. Or a fb announcement.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,329
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Tacky?
Sept 8, 2021 0:48:17 GMT
Post by amom23 on Sept 8, 2021 0:48:17 GMT
Everyone here does the Facebook announcement for engagements and pregnancies. Every bridal and baby shower invite always includes where the couple is registered at. So I guess none of it bothers me.
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Tacky?
Sept 8, 2021 0:51:49 GMT
Post by beaglemom on Sept 8, 2021 0:51:49 GMT
Everyone here does the Facebook announcement for engagements and pregnancies. Every bridal and baby shower invite always includes where the couple is registered at. So I guess none of it bothers me. The irony is that she works for fb. But never posts on it. I am not a huge fan of them on invites, but I get it and know that some people prefer it.
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 8, 2021 1:20:18 GMT
I think registry links on any invitation or announcement are tacky. But I don't see anything wrong with announcing a baby. No one is owed a pregnancy announcement, nor is anyone owed a gift in exchange for an announcement. I'll never get the way some peas equate all weddings and babies with gift grabs. Give gifts if you can and you want to, or don't. I'd rather receive a heartfelt good wish than a gift that is grudgingly given. The pregnancy announcement seems odd to me, since I know she will be sending out a baby announcement after. It's really the registry part that is rubbing me wrong. I never posted that on any of my kid's birth announcements and never expected gifts based on those announcements either. I change my answer - I thought it was a birth announcement - YES - super odd to do a pregnancy announcement with a registry link - my gosh!! Lol
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Post by littlemama on Sept 8, 2021 1:24:06 GMT
Registry links or cards with a shower invite are fine. Registry links while telling peopke they arent invited are not.
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Sept 8, 2021 2:36:24 GMT
I'm old school. I find a pregnancy announcement, with or without a registry listing, to be very odd.
As far as all the baby items you have saved for her, keep them until the baby is born. If she doesn't want or need them, donate them to a charity that helps low income parents.
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Post by gizzy on Sept 8, 2021 2:42:44 GMT
It's understandable why you'd be pissy with her. You disrupted your family's life to move closer only to have her move.
If I wasn't one of the people kept in the loop about all of her moves or that she was pregnant, if I got this announcement from her I would roll my eyes and think it's all a $ grab, then delete it.
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Gennifer
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Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Sept 8, 2021 3:27:06 GMT
I think a bridal or baby shower is the only time it’s appropriate to put a registry on the invite.
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AmeliaBloomer
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Posts: 6,842
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Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Sept 8, 2021 3:48:15 GMT
Sixteen people at a baby shower is not exactly a hardship. (Would she really have invited 66 if not for Covid?! That’s bigger than some people’s weddings.) The shower host including the registry link in the shower invitation works as a convenience.
But the parents-to-be themselves widening the gift circle by sending out a registry link in a pregnancy announcement? Honestly, I would be embarrassed for anybody who sent me something like that.
(Also, the “delight” wording is confusing.)
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Tacky?
Sept 8, 2021 4:00:04 GMT
via mobile
Post by Zee on Sept 8, 2021 4:00:04 GMT
I wouldn't personally do it, but maybe some people appreciate having the registry link so they don't have to ask. No one has to send anything, after all.
I think that's more and more how things are done these days.
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Post by Skellinton on Sept 8, 2021 4:00:40 GMT
No to registry info on announcement. Super duper tacky.
I can’t imagine moving my family to be near a sibling not can I imagine saving baby items for 10 years. Clothes and toys, sure. But cribs, breast pump, furniture, strollers, etc? No freaking way. Those are not items that are easy to store and some of them I would think wouldn’t have all the bells and whistles and safety stuff that new items would. And if my sibling wanted me to save them every time I was done with something big I would be dropping it off at their house, and when I had a box full of clothes or smaller items I would do the same thing. I sure wouldn’t be storing it myself.
You are a way nicer sister then I am.
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 8, 2021 4:31:22 GMT
So her solution is to send out a pregnancy announcement to those people that she was going to invite (or possibly everyone). I just want to confirm I'm reading this right. Send out, as in mail something to everyone, not a general social media announcement? As in a Save the Date, but for the baby announcement? And include a registry? Yes, it sounds like a tacky gift grab to me. FWIW, if a registry isn't included in a baby shower or wedding shower invite, I've NEVER had a problem tracking it down. And, FWIW, I would not have stored baby items for 10 years even if a sibling asked me to because they might one day want to use them.
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RedSquirrelUK
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Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Sept 8, 2021 6:29:23 GMT
Well think positively - if she wanted to go for the ultimate in tacky, the registry link could be a GoFundMe.
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Post by beaglemom on Sept 8, 2021 7:44:55 GMT
So her solution is to send out a pregnancy announcement to those people that she was going to invite (or possibly everyone). I just want to confirm I'm reading this right. Send out, as in mail something to everyone, not a general social media announcement? As in a Save the Date, but for the baby announcement? And include a registry? Yes, it sounds like a tacky gift grab to me. FWIW, if a registry isn't included in a baby shower or wedding shower invite, I've NEVER had a problem tracking it down. And, FWIW, I would not have stored baby items for 10 years even if a sibling asked me to because they might one day want to use them. Yes a printed pregnancy announcement from Minted to be mailed to everyone. The caveat is that my kids are 10g, 8b, 5b, 3g. Some things like my "nice" single stroller I haven't used since my first. The second crib since my 5 year old stopped sleeping in it 2.5 years ago. And when I started saving things she had been saying she was going to try to be pregnant with her first when I was pregnant with my 4th (who is now 3.5). And I was keeping boy stuff and girl stuff. She is having a boy. And the last time we talked she said she doesn't want to have any more. So I boy stuff that in theory she wants some of and girl stuff that she doesn't. Plus all the big items that I have held on to.
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Sept 8, 2021 10:53:01 GMT
If she’s posted an announcement on social media and someone asked for registry info that would be one thing but to mail a pregnancy announcement (that alone is weird) and included registry info…..tacky.
Fwiw I have no issue with including registry info in a shower invite nor do I have a problem with a 50+ person shower (I’m from a big family, that’s pretty standard shower size).
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rickmer
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Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Sept 8, 2021 11:15:02 GMT
tacky. if someone wants to send a gift they will either ask family/close friends if there is a registry. or pick what they want and send it.
buy her something small-mid priced off registry.
sell all the baby stuff and do something nice for yourself (nice dinner out, airbnb with your DH).
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 8, 2021 11:44:36 GMT
A pregnancy announcement? Mailed out? That’s weird. If it was after the baby has been born, that’s fine. I wouldn’t send a registry, but wouldn’t think much if one was included. But no to the pregnancy announcement, especially so close to the birth.
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