COVID - so angry at everyone involved after exposure

I have a long fuse - not much gets me angry and very little sustains anger. But I have spent the last 10 days simmering and boiling. At myself, at the people I know and love. We spent so long being so careful, and got everyone vaccinated the minute we could. We usually host Thanksgiving and have both DH and my family over. We didn’t last year, but we were considering doing it this year, as my father died unexpectedly in June and we could all use a little normalcy. But most of my large family isn’t vaccinated, his small family is.

DD15 is at the end of a mild breakthrough case of COVID. We tested negative and have stayed healthy. Her last isolation day is today. Her smell/taste never changed and I very much hope the vaccine has prevented long COVID issues like some colleagues and friends still dealing with since they had it pre-vaccines.

She was almost certainly exposed at one of 3 outdoor (unmasked) school homecoming events or the pre-homecoming gathering at a friend’s house. When her positive test surprised us, I knew area contact tracing has been slow, so I immediately called every adult and parent of a child I knew she had been exposed to that I had access to. This was a hideous experience and I am so glad I blocked DD from contacting people herself, and wish I hadn’t bothered with some of them.

-my in laws went and tested negative immediately. 

-my mother and brother were around DD for 10-15 min, at our house for 45 min. My mother, father and brother were all sick in April 2020 but refused to be tested and part of “King Cuomo’s bogus statistics.” They didn’t want me to put them on the contact tracing list. I told them I refused to lie and encouraged them to test even though they didn’t want to. After bitching me out and throwing around hoax/anti-vax theories, my mother used the exposure as an excuse to take off work for two days, but didn’t quarantine. Instead, she went out MORE than usual in rebellion - she helped my brother fulfill his Instacart orders! Her employer required a test, and they were both negative. My last conversation with either of them they act like the negative test is a permanent pass to do whatever they want. I’m told they are both still angry with me.

-11 kids were at the pre party and/or daily lunch table, turns out only 4 kids were vaccinated. 3 of the 4 Parents I spoke to directly tried to either get me not to list their kid, or to lie about the date of first onset of symptoms to exclude their unvaccinated child from mandatory 10 days of quarantining. All were stiffly polite and wished DD well, and I could hear the one father in the background making threatening comments. All 4 parents waited for DOH - they sent their daughters to school for 2 more days knowing they had been exposed! The friend who hosted is beside herself - we’ve known these families since elem - she can’t believe the low vaccination rate or their behavior. I don’t know if any girls got sick - the daily school notifications have listed positives and the school nurse told me she was sending home symptomatic kids all week after homecoming. ETA: Some parents waited our the 10 days rather than get their girl tested. And one parent launched right into complaints that this would cause the school to cancel events again, and only tacked on best wishes for DD at the end. 

-so I’m angry at myself for letting DD go and hang out with idiots, and I may as well not have bothered notifying the parents. All I did was spread the news that DD is specifically the one sick. It would have been private otherwise. She has heard nothing from these unvaccinated friends and even a couple of the vaccinated ones, while she isolated. She reached out to a few about class notes, and heard nothing. So I’m worried this will have long term social consequences. She’s not thrilled to go back to school Monday, although she was also a big fan of remote school. 

- One unvaccinated sister and BIL and niece got COVID in mid Oct and sister still has symptoms. They didn’t tell anyone they were sick until after because they didn’t want to deal with fallout from the vaccinated or blowback from people who think it’s a hoax. Her FB stories show she sure didn’t isolate 10 days - just the days they felt like absolute garbage. When she found out DD was sick, she finally told me she was sick, and kept pushing us to get DD essential oils, quercentein and zinc.

I am waffling between canceling Thanksgiving dinner again, or being a bitch and specifically inviting vaccinated people, including people that wouldn’t normally be invited because my family takes up so many spaces.

Then I think about the agony of the week watching my dad slip away and hesitate about leaving my mom out. Just not sure I can host and be civil when I’m so angry. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I don’t want to ruin it forever by starting or creating the arena for a major family fight. My one vaccinated sister is pissed because my mother didn’t tell her she had been exposed to DD, and they spent time together with her and my niece who was too young to vaccinate until this week.

What a mess. I’m exhausted just typing this, so thanks for reading.