janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,633
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Dec 8, 2021 19:06:05 GMT
Not weird to me. We, within reason, buy ourselves things we want and need throughout the year. So our habit has been to forego gifts to one another and spoil our girls a bit at Christmas. We do fill up stockings with little items for each other, but that’s it.
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Post by nine on Dec 8, 2021 19:08:07 GMT
We buy what we want, when we want so since our kids are gone we don’t officially exchange christmas gifts. Haven’t for years.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,298
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Dec 8, 2021 19:28:35 GMT
No, not at all.
For years, dh and I didn't exchange gifts, or whatever we gave was very small. bath beads/lotion for me, socks and snacks for him. Essentially stocking stuffers. Money was just too tight once we had bought gifts for dd's and our parents/siblings.
Eventually as things improved we started buying again. But I imagine at some point we might stop if we don't need/want anything. My parents have mostly given up. They are still crazy about each other but they are in their 70's and unless they run across something they know the other would really love/need etc, they just don't do much except maybe one one or two very small things.
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Post by bbkeef on Dec 8, 2021 19:37:57 GMT
It's not weird if it's agreed upon. My DH have decided to not exchange Christmas or anniversary gifts this year. It's our 25th anniversary too. BUT we just paid off our house as our present to ourselves! We agreed to it for both Christmas and anniversary gifts to each other!
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Post by flanz on Dec 8, 2021 19:40:12 GMT
Not weird at all. DH and I went all out at Christmas when the kids were young, but mostly for them. He and I don't really care about gifts (we are fortunate to buy most of what we want when we want it). We detest the commercialization of the holidays. Detest! This goes for Mother's/Father's Day, Valentine's Day etc. IF the calendar dictates we "should" be buying gifts - no thank you.
We do buy gifts once in a while when we find something we think the other, or one of our kids or friends, would love. Often this is something consumable or an experience.
I really, really don't understand why people continue to buy gifts, decorate, host, etc. if those things don't give them joy and or aren't appreciated. WHY?
DD got married in Sept to her wonderful partner of 11 years. We're going to drive up and spend 4 days with them. Gifts we're bringing: some of the delicious locally smoked salmon we had shipped up there for the wedding, some of our favorite flavored balsamic vinegars, and i got them each a scarf made of alpaca wool, knowing that if they don't love/need it, DH and I will have new soft scarves. The "kids" are minimalists and just moving into a 650 sq. ft. apartment which they are really excited about. They LOVE the idea of downsizing even more and are very deliberate about what they bring into their home.
DS lives in B.C., Canada and is a heli-ski and backcountry guide who can never come home to us for Christmas. We usually try to ship him something as a gift for his Dec. bd and Christmas. This year it's going to be various types of smoked salmon from a small business in B.C.
DH and I - our gift is getting to spend this time with DD and her new DH. We'll be cooking and maybe baking together, checking out their new neighborhood, going hiking, etc. can't wait!
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,566
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Dec 8, 2021 19:40:32 GMT
It's not weird if it's agreed upon. My DH have decided to not exchange Christmas or anniversary gifts this year. It's our 25th anniversary too. BUT we just paid off our house as our present to ourselves! We agreed to it for both Christmas and anniversary gifts to each other! Congrats on paying off your mortgage! That's a gift that will keep on giving!
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Post by lisae on Dec 8, 2021 20:33:35 GMT
No. We stopped exchanging several years ago and it is one of the best things we ever did. The only gifting we do are every 5 year birthdays which happen to be the same year for us and every 5 year anniversaries.
This year the only holiday gift I will be doing is a $15 party gift exchange present. Reduces a lot of stress and waste plus I can buy myself what I want and not feel guilty about it.
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Post by Merge on Dec 8, 2021 20:46:08 GMT
No, not at all weird. We've done that lots of years when money was tight or we'd spent a lot on something else. Neither DH nor I has gift giving as a love language, so it works for us.
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 8, 2021 21:05:13 GMT
No, that is not weird at all. It clearly works for you both and that is what matters.
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Post by bbkeef on Dec 8, 2021 21:15:10 GMT
Congrats on paying off your mortgage! That's a gift that will keep on giving! Thanks!
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Post by bbkeef on Dec 8, 2021 21:16:15 GMT
WE are fine with it but my mom got into my head lol (that's her speciality ) To appease her, just tell her that your weekend away/concert thing is your gift to each other!
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,647
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Dec 8, 2021 21:54:38 GMT
Not one bit.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Dec 8, 2021 21:58:33 GMT
The lasff tv thing my husband bought me was my engagement ring.
I buy my own gifts or else I wouldn’t get anything.
I try to buy him meaningful gifts but he really doesn’t care.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,938
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Dec 8, 2021 22:17:55 GMT
My husband hates shopping and I have always worked so when I really want something I buy it. He also buys what he needs/wants throughout the year. He usually gives me some cash to buy something for the kids and myself. We usually get him something he needs and he is not fussy. I am very particular about what I want because I have plenty of everything already. Works for us! Christmas gift giving is a bit out of control in some cases. I have pared it down through the years.
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Post by dawncpa on Dec 9, 2021 0:21:35 GMT
We don’t do birthday or Christmas gifts and haven’t for many years.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Dec 9, 2021 1:38:36 GMT
It's not weird.
Not just Christmas, but Valentines. Many people, couples and singles, already have what they want or if they want something they go buy it.
I'm single, but if I were in a relationship.....I would prefer to skip the tangible gifts (especially Valentine's) and use the funds for concert tickets, a little road trip, going out for a fancy dessert, etc...
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 9, 2021 1:53:34 GMT
Not if both people feel the same way and are in agreement on it. It’s a problem if one person wants to and the other one doesn’t. It’s also an issue if one person says, “Let’s not exchange gifts!” And then goes out buys the other person something anyway. Either do it or not, but then don’t make the other person feel bad by going back on what you both agreed to.
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Post by maryland on Dec 9, 2021 1:58:36 GMT
My parents never got each other gifts becaue they usually had to buy a new applicance around the holidays so that was their gift. My husband and I sometimes do (if we have a good idea) but usually it's a car repair, new carpet or something like that.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 9, 2021 2:07:46 GMT
I’ll be the lone dissenter. A little bit, yes. I especially think it’s important when the kids are young (I know yours is a bit older now). I always felt that if the kids knew we were giving gifts to people we loved (the kids, our parents, etc) and the kids were gifting to people they loved (their siblings) then there should be something under the tree to mom from dad and vice versa. Not necessarily anything big or extravagant, just something that made them feel loved. Some years it was a $20 gift, others it was much more, but there was always something.
I’m not judgy about but since you asked….😆
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,516
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Dec 9, 2021 3:21:39 GMT
My husband has tried in the past to suggest that maybe we don't need to give each other gifts. He once even tried to give reasons why I didn't need one because I had all this other stuff. It pissed me off. He just didn't want to bother. I take care of all of the Christmas shopping and wrapping. When my kids were young he would watch them open their gifts. He'd act all surprised and excited for the kids. It was clear he had no idea what was in any of those packages. He can bother to get one gift for me at Christmas. I don't care how other people handle it with their spouses, but my husband is going to get me a gift. And when I'm Christmas shopping, I buy some things for myself too.
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Post by chaosisapony on Dec 9, 2021 3:33:42 GMT
Not at all. In fact I know a lot of married couples that don't exchange gifts. In some cases they go on a date instead or use the money they would spend on gifts on a house project or things for the family.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Dec 9, 2021 3:33:48 GMT
Not weird at all.
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Post by callmenutz on Dec 9, 2021 3:59:48 GMT
We’ve been married for 47 years and haven’t exchanged gifts since our first Christmas together. I told him the only good taste he has is in women and our marriage is just fine!
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Dec 9, 2021 4:05:46 GMT
I’ll be the lone dissenter. A little bit, yes. I especially think it’s important when the kids are young (I know yours is a bit older now). I always felt that if the kids knew we were giving gifts to people we loved (the kids, our parents, etc) and the kids were gifting to people they loved (their siblings) then there should be something under the tree to mom from dad and vice versa. Not necessarily anything big or extravagant, just something that made them feel loved. Some years it was a $20 gift, others it was much more, but there was always something. I’m not judgy about but since you asked….😆 I think this is a really interesting take on this. Modeling being a thoughtful, giving spouse for your children. All these clueless pea husbands that we hear about every year come from somewhere. Maybe never seeing Dad give Mom a gift makes an impression.
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Post by tenacious on Dec 9, 2021 4:12:56 GMT
We stopped exchanging gifts a few years ago. We basically just do stockings. I will get him a shirt or something, too, and give him a few things I buy on Black Friday for myself for him to give me (ha!), but, that’s about it.
Not weird.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Dec 9, 2021 5:00:27 GMT
It’s not weird at all. Dh and I don’t really exchange gifts, either. When the girls were younger we buy ourselves things to open on Christmas, but there’s really no need. We just buy what we want/need throughout the year. We don’t give each other birthday gifts, either. I’m totally fine with all of it.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 9, 2021 5:24:20 GMT
I don't think it's weird at all. DH and I haven't exchanged gifts for the last few years for the sane reason; we generally buy what we want and we need nothing.
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pancakes
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,993
Feb 4, 2015 6:49:53 GMT
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Post by pancakes on Dec 9, 2021 7:05:30 GMT
Not weird. We don’t always exchange gifts.
My family (mom, dad, brother) decided that our side wouldn’t give gifts for anything except for birthdays…no Mother’s/Father’s Day or Christmas. It’s been such a huge relief.
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MrsDepp
Full Member
Refupea #2341
Posts: 476
Jun 30, 2014 18:36:02 GMT
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Post by MrsDepp on Dec 9, 2021 10:33:08 GMT
Normal in our home not to exchange gifts for any occasion including anniversary & birthdays. We buy what we want all year. If we see something the other wants we buy it.
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 9, 2021 12:52:29 GMT
We don't exchange gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, or Valentine's day. For Christmas, I just buy us each a couple things and put them under the tree. The grandkids would think it odd if we didn't. If they aren't here for Christmas, I don't bother. We have been married 42 years and if we want something, we buy it. busy Do not let your mother bully you into changing what works for you!
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