S/O Phone Calls, Do You Call and Ask?

It depends who I’m calling I guess. I know with my Dad or Mum in law the chances of them being too busy to talk is unlikely. With my DDs or my sister we might be starting a text conversation and say “Is it easier to call?” and go from there.

With the time difference between Tokyo and the U.K., I will often text my family to see if they’re free to FaceTime. MIL on the other hand keeps calling until we pick up- drives me insane. We have told her multiple times that if we don’t pick up the first time, we are too busy to talk right then.
I rarely make any local calls to friends, it’s usually texts.

Yes, especially if I know it is work time. My BFF, who is a stylist, I will text “call me when your free” and “not an emergency” so she call call when she is done with a client. I will also text my step dad, “can you take a call,” as he is often in zoom/Microsoft teams meetings during the day.

Currently I am making a lot of phone calls for work to people. The amount of people who answer the phone and then tell it’s not a good time to call them back astound me. I really want to say, you know you could have just not answered the phone, right? You do understand how that works? You don’t answer, I leave a message, you call me back when it’s a good time for you. Not rocket science.

It's amazing how quickly this changed for me. I think it was once my parents passed away - they were callers, not texters - I pretty much went to all texting and a "can you talk on the phone now?" text if I want to talk to someone. My kids still call me without texting first; my sisters will call me and my step-mother; and my brother in law (he just called yesterday) but pretty much everyone else is a text first or text only.

Depends who it is, but yes, I often text first to see if it’s a good time to talk. I don’t with my family or my best friend. If they can’t take the call, they’ll see from their phone that I’ve tried and will call me back or text that they are in a meeting or whatever. I’ve now more or less got my parents to text me and leave a message if I haven’t picked up the phone to them so I’d know if it was something pressing to drop everything for or something which can wait. I have answerphone switched off as the ‘hi it’s mum, not really calling for any reason’ messages drive me a bit bonkers and require a few minutes of time to access. A message can be surreptitiously glanced at when in company or quickly checked when in the middle of a meal, but I don’t drop everything to answer the phone so if it’s not convenient to talk I don’t pick up but I’ll call folk back.

Almost always. It also helps to let people know that it’s a real call and not spam. In our family, it’s just easier.

I always text my sisters before calling, and they do the same. We live far away from each other, so usually like time for an extended conversation about once a week or so. We also email, and sometimes that gets lengthy, too. I envy those who live close to their sisters, I always miss my two!

I mostly text with friends but if I want to call, I will text first to see if it’s a good time.

I never text first. When I call you, I expect that if you pick up the phone, you are available to talk.

If you aren't, you don't pick up and I leave a message to call me back when it is convenient for you.

If you answer, but it isn't a good time, as soon as you tell me, I reply "ok, call me later - not urgent" or just "ok bye".

I rarely talk on the phone. We mostly text. Actual phone calls are either spam/scam, business calls or emergency/bad news generally. On the rare occasion someone needs to call and it's not bad news they'll send a quick text "hey I'm going to call it's not an emergency".

There are only 2 people I call - my mom and my cousin. I assume they won’t pick up or will tell me if they are busy so no I don’t say that.

No, but in my circle (family and friends) if you're busy, you don't answer the phone. No biggie. OR, you answer and say "Hey, in the middle of something, I'll call you back". But a non-answer is just as good.

If it is someone where I know the conversation will be long, I do ask if it is a good time to talk. Bff and I often text beforehand but I don't do that with anyone else. Otherwise, I expect them to tell me if they need to call back at another time or not to have answered the phone in the first place.