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Post by bc2ca on Jan 20, 2022 0:30:33 GMT
What DH is eligible to take and what he actually takes are two very different things. And 90% of the time when he is on vacation, he works the morning and takes calls all day. For many years, I would take the kids on a 2-3 week summer vacation and he might fly in to join us for a weekend and/or drive one way with us. In normal years, I go on 1-3 girlfriend trips and he will take long weekend golf or fishing trips with a friends. In 2018 and 2019 we had a real vacation with the two of us to Europe where his phone was off. The kids are now young adults and he regrets the trips he missed. He has had vacations with each of them individually in the last two years and enjoyed them so much, I expect him to continue to make the time for more trips as he heads into retirement.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,298
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Jan 20, 2022 0:47:38 GMT
I get 4-5 weeks a year. Dh is a self employed general contractor so he gets what he has time for. For a lot of years we didn't have the money because times we really tough. And I also didn't have time as I used up all my sick time and a good bit of vacation time taking time off for dd's health issues. Until about eight years ago we mostly took long weekend trips in state. I did however take a week with dd to go to Disney World with my mom and sister. And two weekend trips with friends.
Now we travel together. But he does take a week each fall for deer hunting with his brother and cousin. And I could travel myself but I just haven't. My sister and I were going to take a long weekend trip a few months ago but she was sick (it wasn't COVID but she was pretty sick). And she has since moved out of state. I imagine at some point in the next few years I will take a trip without him, it just hasn't happened recently.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,858
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Jan 20, 2022 1:01:19 GMT
We do both... we work for the same company... we work 4 days on 4 off... so with only 2 vacation days we get 6 days or with 4 vacation days we get 12 off in a row... we both get 25 days vacation...
Pre-covid... we would alternate 1 week at an all inclusive and 1 week on a cruise and every 5th year Europe... we haven't done any of that in the past 2 years.. we do have savings for Europe... i just don't know when we week actually make the plan...
We also take smaller individual trips... he will go to a sports game for a long weekend with our sons... he has a cousin he goes on fishing/hunting weekends....
My sister n bff both live away... i will use vacation to take long weekends to go see them... my bff has a summer rental at Myrtle Beach... i will go and spend some time there.... sometimes dh will go n sometimes i go alone...
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Post by MichyM on Jan 20, 2022 1:16:56 GMT
When I was married, we took our big vacations mostly as a family (some with friends, a few with family, some on our own), though he and I got away together a few times. As our son got older, maybe 10 years old, I started taking weekends away occasionally with girlfriends, and took one or two weeklong trips with friends as well. He never took trips (other than his frequent work trips) on his own or with “the guys.” It just wasn’t what they did. But he did add time on to work trips when he was somewhere interesting, or if he just needed a couple of days to recharge.
I’ve been retired for 11 years, but for the better part of my working life I took 2 (or less) weeks per year. I truly don’t feel that I suffered for it at all. My ex (recently retired), after exactly 40 years at the same (huge) company had 5 weeks + they close the offices for almost 2 weeks (depending on when the weekends fell) at the holidays. He is, and still is, someone who enjoys just sitting and relaxing, so he was happy as could be with all that time off. He always took every minute of PTO every year 😉
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 20, 2022 1:35:29 GMT
We vacation together, though we haven't vacationed in a couple years due to you-know-what. Every couple years I do a medical trip alone to see an out-of-state specialist. I don't have fun on those trips. It's treatments and rest. I don't sightsee. Vacation isn't fun w/my dh and the kids. Though they're grown I suspect family vacations are not over, by any means. I do take short road trips w/my sons. Back in August ods and I drove to visit yds at his campus. It was lots of fun.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 20, 2022 1:58:22 GMT
For us it has always been a mix because we have different interests and enjoy different things. Now that we have a kid and virtually no one we could leave her with, all big trips are done as a family but he and I have taken trips separately with friends all along to do things we know would bore the other person to tears.
He has zero interest in going to a scrapbook retreat or a cookie decorating convention. After our last trip to WDW, he and DD said they would be perfectly happy to never go again so if I want to do that in the future I need to go alone or recruit a friend. I have zero interest in going on hunting, fishing or snowmobile/ATV trips. So we do those things on our own with friends.
Most of our vacation time these days and for the foreseeable future is spent at our lake cabin. Now that it’s been totally rebuilt it’s a very nice place to spend time plus it’s close to home, so I envision being able to do some of the things there that I normally would go away somewhere else on my own with friends to do. The place can comfortably sleep 8-10 people so I’m hoping once Covid isn’t so prevalent I can convince some of my far flung friends that I haven’t seen for way too long to come hang out with me and we can have our own private retreat!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 20:42:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2022 2:50:25 GMT
DH gets 5 weeks. When the boys were younger and he only got 3 weeks, we would plan vacations around their weeks with us. Now, we plan on a few long weekends just us. He takes off random Fridays just to have a day off.
Things are settling down a bit. We are in the early stages of planning a two week road trip vacation. It would be just us but one stop may be to spend a day or two with my youngest, depending on where he's stationed and which way we want to go. Just need covid to die down a bit more.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 20, 2022 3:26:49 GMT
We usually take a beach vacation together as well as a Vegas trip. We also love to visit Estes Park and surrounding areas. If a friend asks if I want to go somewhere like Vegas or NYC, I'll happily go.
DH and I were both teachers so we were able to take our unpaid vacations during summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or spring break vacation weeks. When I worked for a different non profit, I got two weeks and that sucked big time.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 20, 2022 3:29:43 GMT
For us it has always been a mix because we have different interests and enjoy different things. Now that we have a kid and virtually no one we could leave her with, all big trips are done as a family but he and I have taken trips separately with friends all along to do things we know would bore the other person to tears. He has zero interest in going to a scrapbook retreat or a cookie decorating convention. After our last trip to WDW, he and DD said they would be perfectly happy to never go again so if I want to do that in the future I need to go alone or recruit a friend. I have zero interest in going on hunting, fishing or snowmobile/ATV trips. So we do those things on our own with friends. Most of our vacation time these days and for the foreseeable future is spent at our lake cabin. Now that it’s been totally rebuilt it’s a very nice place to spend time plus it’s close to home, so I envision being able to do some of the things there that I normally would go away somewhere else on my own with friends to do. The place can comfortably sleep 8-10 people so I’m hoping once Covid isn’t so prevalent I can convince some of my far flung friends that I haven’t seen for way too long to come hang out with me and we can have our own private retreat! We took our kids with us for every vacation together until they were out of high school. At the time, I was peeved with the people who expected us to watch their kids for weeks at a time during the summer, but in hindsight, I am so glad we got to do all of those trips as a family. We still take the adult kids and their SO when we travel sometimes.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jan 20, 2022 3:36:55 GMT
I’ll also add that our vacation style has really changed over the years. When boys were little, and I wasn’t working, and money was tighter….we did all our vacations together (as in all 5 of us). For many, many years I didn’t even do a girlfriend’s trip on my own. And our vacations were pretty simple — mostly hiking in Yosemite, Tahoe and Southern California. Now that everyone is big, “fun for the whole family” is a misnomer lol. Now we divide up and do more trips around what interests us.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,528
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Jan 20, 2022 3:47:56 GMT
Most of our vacation time these days and for the foreseeable future is spent at our lake cabin. Now that it’s been totally rebuilt it’s a very nice place to spend time plus it’s close to home, so I envision being able to do some of the things there that I normally would go away somewhere else on my own with friends to do. The place can comfortably sleep 8-10 people so I’m hoping once Covid isn’t so prevalent I can convince some of my far flung friends that I haven’t seen for way too long to come hang out with me and we can have our own private retreat! That sounds like a dream! My next door neighbor just bought a country house, and I am sometimes jealous. DH and I are both on academic calendars. We have summers off mostly together, and we always have the week between Christmas and New Year's off. Our other school vacations, unfortunately, do not align. We do family trips twice a year to visit my folks. As my parents have aged, we have moved from staying in the family house to staying in a rented home (usually AirBnB). Since our kids are big enough to stay alone and care for the dog, DH and I have tried to have a little weekend getaway for just the two of us during the summer. I look forward to a bit more travel during retirement. I have never been on a cruise, and I'm eager to try one after Covid isn't such a "thing". DH is not too interested, since he has balance/nausea issues, but maybe I'll go with my youngest DS...
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Jan 20, 2022 6:25:29 GMT
Dh is self employed so he can have vacation when he wants it but of course he doesn’t earn money during it. Dh and I vacation together - he has rarely ended up doing a couple things on his own such as flying to a family event to meet some relatives he’d never met before or when he ended up flying to Texas to help DD1 who was driving cross country alone for a move and ran into scary rain/flash flood type weather. So he flew down to drive her the rest of the way and they did touristy stuff along the way.
I will do some extra vacation stuff without him with dds. Mostly because I have more time abs also just to do stuff he isn’t as into as us like hiking, kayaking, camping.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jan 20, 2022 10:53:26 GMT
Jeremy and we're both rebuilding ourselves financially after both of our divorces for quite a while. We didn't really have any vacation protocol because we didn't have money to take vacations. The times we did travel it was to visit family and we always went together.
Now that we are in a different place financially we have more opportunity to travel but we still don't have the kind of money for expensive vacations. So that's why we bought the camper. It gives us a chance to explore without the cost of a hotel. It allow us to just put gas in the truck instead of flying on airplanes. And it allows us to cook for ourselves instead of dining out.
Next year, he will have enough time in at his job to earn three weeks of vacation and we plan to take the camper out even more.
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Post by melanell on Jan 20, 2022 12:20:49 GMT
Sometimes I take trips with family other than DH. And I've gone on trips with friends. Those tend to be shorter trips--maybe 4 or 5 days tops. Although some of my cousins & I have talked about a longer trip together before. We just are no at the right time in life to take that trip. It has nothing to do with DH.
But the majority of trips/vacations I take are with DH.
And it's the same with him---he's gone on some shorter trips with some of his family that haven't included me, but again, the majority of his traveling does include me.
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Post by whipea on Jan 20, 2022 13:11:58 GMT
Never, always alone. To me it is not a vacation if you travel with someone.
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,566
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Jan 20, 2022 13:42:08 GMT
Job benefit discrepancies play into our vacations, too. DH gets five weeks of vacation and can also take personal time/sick time as needed because he's salaried and his company doesn't track those days specifically.
I'm paid hourly and get 15 days total for PTO. So, I have to use that time for doctor's and other random appointments, sick days, etc.
Because he has so much more available, he usually takes a week-long guys trip and at least a week total of misc. days to go hunting. His company allows him to sell back a week of vacation each year so he has done that because I'm not as available.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,714
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Jan 20, 2022 14:30:36 GMT
SO travels a lot more than i do. We do at least one big trip per year and then maybe a long beach weekend a few times. He is an avid fly fisherman and does a lot of fishing trips throughout the year that I do not go on. I consider this a vacation for myself too though. I am more of a homebody and don't really travel that much outside of our trips together other than a few trips to see family. I think I have 5 weeks of vacation and he has 3, but he often gets "paid" in vacation time for good performance on his projects.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 20, 2022 14:34:44 GMT
For us it has always been a mix because we have different interests and enjoy different things. Now that we have a kid and virtually no one we could leave her with, all big trips are done as a family but he and I have taken trips separately with friends all along to do things we know would bore the other person to tears. He has zero interest in going to a scrapbook retreat or a cookie decorating convention. After our last trip to WDW, he and DD said they would be perfectly happy to never go again so if I want to do that in the future I need to go alone or recruit a friend. I have zero interest in going on hunting, fishing or snowmobile/ATV trips. So we do those things on our own with friends. Most of our vacation time these days and for the foreseeable future is spent at our lake cabin. Now that it’s been totally rebuilt it’s a very nice place to spend time plus it’s close to home, so I envision being able to do some of the things there that I normally would go away somewhere else on my own with friends to do. The place can comfortably sleep 8-10 people so I’m hoping once Covid isn’t so prevalent I can convince some of my far flung friends that I haven’t seen for way too long to come hang out with me and we can have our own private retreat! We took our kids with us for every vacation together until they were out of high school. At the time, I was peeved with the people who expected us to watch their kids for weeks at a time during the summer, but in hindsight, I am so glad we got to do all of those trips as a family. We still take the adult kids and their SO when we travel sometimes. I mean we literally have NO ONE we could leave her with, even for a weekend. DH and I have never had a single weekend away together without our kid since she was born and she’s 11 now. I can count on one hand the number of times in over 11 years that we have even gone out to dinner by ourselves without her. I don’t regret taking her along on our vacations and I’m glad she has been able to have some of the experiences we’ve been able to give her. I feel a little bit bad that she hasn’t (and won’t) ever have the experience of being able to bond one on one with a grandparent. I never had them either and as a result I was never close with any of my grandparents. DH had those kinds of experiences growing up and he cherishes those memories of summers at the lake cabin with his grandparents when he was young.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,017
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Jan 20, 2022 16:26:41 GMT
I am a teacher so I have 8 weeks off in summer. I also have a spring break. Dh can take time pretty much whenever he wants. We plan vacation time together. We have done vacations with my family. I have done girl trips with just his sisters. (He has 7.) His family is going to try and do something once a year now that both his parents have passed. I might participate in these if it falls on dates that work for me.
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luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,685
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
Jul 22, 2017 4:59:41 GMT
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Post by luckyjune on Jan 20, 2022 16:30:26 GMT
DH and I both have 5 weeks of vaca each year. We always vacation together. We don't take all five weeks at once, but we have the flexibility to travel whenever we want, which is nice coming off being teachers and only able to travel when everyone else is.
ETA-I do go on girls' weekends twice a year, but I don't count those as travel.
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,463
Location: Fergus, Ontario
Jun 26, 2014 11:53:40 GMT
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Post by cakediva on Jan 20, 2022 18:03:09 GMT
We've only been able to afford to travel in the last few years.
We did Cuba with my brother and another couple in 2017, Dominican in 2018 with just my brother, and then California/Disneyland, just us, in late 2019.
And then Covid.
But DH gets 5 weeks (4 weeks total plus they shut down Christmas-NewYear). I'm self-employed and in the wedding business, so I never take time off in the summer if I can avoid it.
We travel together, or DH takes a week to putter around the house, or take long weekends.
Moving forward, I know he doesn't care to ever do Disney again - I might with some cake friends, no spouses added in. I also have a goal to do a Disney run before I'm 60, and he would't go for that, my friend who said she'd do it with me would go along.
I'm also planning to do a cake show or two each year (Austin for sure is the main one) - I was supposed to go this February but it has been cancelled. SO I may do Reno for Cake Expo in July, but I have to juggle wedding cake deliveries while I'm gone.
DH would be fine with me going. He's very introverted, and loves to just be home alone. So it wouldn't bother him at all if I went to get my friend fix.
But I couldn't justify a girls week in Cuba say, because that is a higher cost that we would only spend on travel together.
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,135
Location: New York, NY
Jun 26, 2014 18:02:19 GMT
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Post by christinec68 on Jan 20, 2022 19:29:06 GMT
We primarily vacation together. I'll do one or two girls' weekends a year and sometimes I go visit my mother without him. By choice, he doesn't go away with other people.
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Jan 20, 2022 20:12:46 GMT
I was shocked at how little vacation her husband got. I've been with my employer for 18 years and I accrue 14 hours a month of vacation and 8 of sick. When I hit 20 years my vacation will go up to 16 hours a month. I'm very fortunate to have great benefits.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 20, 2022 20:50:12 GMT
We took our kids with us for every vacation together until they were out of high school. At the time, I was peeved with the people who expected us to watch their kids for weeks at a time during the summer, but in hindsight, I am so glad we got to do all of those trips as a family. We still take the adult kids and their SO when we travel sometimes. I mean we literally have NO ONE we could leave her with, even for a weekend. DH and I have never had a single weekend away together without our kid since she was born and she’s 11 now. I can count on one hand the number of times in over 11 years that we have even gone out to dinner by ourselves without her. I don’t regret taking her along on our vacations and I’m glad she has been able to have some of the experiences we’ve been able to give her. I feel a little bit bad that she hasn’t (and won’t) ever have the experience of being able to bond one on one with a grandparent. I never had them either and as a result I was never close with any of my grandparents. DH had those kinds of experiences growing up and he cherishes those memories of summers at the lake cabin with his grandparents when he was young. My SIL took my kids for 10 hours on or 10th anniversary. Other than that, they went everywhere we went too. We had a grandma and other aunts, but they were always busy after their kids were older. We had their kids during their adult only vacations every summer for years. We didn't have kids yet and apparently my husband couldn't tell his sisters no. The plus side is my kids still like to go places with us and I have scrapbook upon scrapbook of our fun adventures.
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tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,426
Jun 27, 2014 2:27:09 GMT
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Post by tanya2 on Jan 20, 2022 23:05:26 GMT
I am in the very fortunate position that we get unlimited vacation time each year, both of us. DH has his own business & I work on a casual basis at my job. We use it to go away for 3 months in the winter to our vacation home, as well as most of the month of October. Then in the summer we usually plan a couple camping trips or a week somewhere different. So for the most part we are together
However since I met him he has gone on a racing weekend with the guys every year for like 30 years now - except during Covid which was so hard for him. And I go on a shopping weekend with my mom & a friend every fall. And neither of us begrudges the other the time away
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Post by Zee on Jan 20, 2022 23:21:29 GMT
There are few people I travel well with, because I get anxiety about not being in control over the driving, the eating, and what I do with my spare time.
My DH, my mom, and my best friend are the only people I like to travel with.
DH and I take short camping trips and usually one longer vacation each year for our anniversary. We recently started spending our bdays in FL because they're in January and why not.
I also take a girls trip each year, and usually one alone visit back home to the Midwest to see my parents and other family.
But I prefer to travel with DH because I can tell him what I want to do and leave the logistics up to him (he enjoys that sort of thing and travels a lot for work so he has miles and rewards and things). And we are friends who like to explore together.
For every vacation, I need nature time so we always try to visit state parks wherever we are. On my birthday I left Universal at noon so I could go for a nature hike. 😜
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,125
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Jan 21, 2022 3:18:27 GMT
i have been with my guy for a couple of years now. we do not live together so my situation is a bit different. we went to a wedding in jamaica in jan before covid hit, just him and i. then i took my kids to cuba a couple of weeks later - just to spend time together after the separation yuckiness so i did *not* include him.
i rented a cottage last summer for 5 days for me and the boys. my guy spent first half with us and then left us to spend time together. DD left for spain last night (!) for six months to study. the boys and i are planning 2 wks in the spring to visit her - i have not invited him.
they seem to like him well enough... but i am trying to be sensitive to the fact because i choose to have him in my life, WE still need our family time too.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jan 21, 2022 4:23:29 GMT
DH gets 6 weeks but has almost double that accrued, I get 5 weeks. Big vacations we usually take together but days here and there, not usually.
He takes mostly every Friday in Nov and Dec to hunt, I do girls retreats 2-3/x year (long weekend).
I love that we take days alone. It rejuvenates me and absence does make the heart grow fonder. Sunday night when he comes home from hunting, I’m glad he’s back.
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Post by coaliesquirrel on Jan 21, 2022 18:53:58 GMT
DH and I have comparable amounts of PTO - about 6 weeks a year - but it's more difficult for him to take his in large chunks. We're still in the season of life where most of our PTO is used for long weekends going to DD's dance events various places regionally, or we manage to make a mini-vacation piggybacking on a work trip for one or the other of us. So, we are almost always all of us together - or for those dual-purposed work trips, just DH & me, with grandmas pitching in to hang with DD at home. Most years, I take one or two low-key girlfriend trips, either long weekends or up to a week, but just somewhere within driving distance, cooking our own meals (we each cover a day or meal, depending on trip length), etc. - nothing fancy. DH doesn't have the sorts of guy interests that lend themselves to guy trips, so if he goes on one, it's for work. He will occasionally take long weekend trips just with DD when they want to do something that won't interest me, which I'm 100% in favor of.
It's not very often we decide to go somewhere solely as a vacation, let alone for very long, but we're planning an international trip for 3 weeks this summer, rescheduled from 2020. It's a big deal because it will require someone at DH's job to cross-train to cover him while he's gone (normally he takes a lot of work calls here & there when off, even on regular weekends), so I'm hopeful we'll actually be able to go. It's been 15+ years (pre-DD) since we took a similar trip, and I doubt we'll get to do another before he retires.
For me, one plus of COVID has been that for a year there really wasn't anywhere to go, or any need to take off time for kid-related illness, etc., so I have nearly a whole year's allotment banked! I tend to hoard my time "just in case" and then use it all at the last minute, so it will be nice to have that cushion so I can (hopefully) take our big trip and not worry that I'm going to run out of time.
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Post by bluesafyre on Jan 21, 2022 19:05:01 GMT
My DH gets about a month for vacation and I'm self-employed so I do as I please His schedule is all over the place and he usually gets a 5 day vacation once a month in addition to the time he gets as actual vacation. We usually take a month long camping trip meandering from Florida up to Michigan to see the kids and try to camp locally or at Disney on his 5-days. We are oddballs. We spend pretty much every waking minute together if he isn't at work or running errands. As DH puts it - we married each other so we could be together so why would we do separate things? There were a few years before his current job where his sister, he and I had an office together as a family business. We were literally together always during that time. We are pretty much loners and don't have any friends to pal around with. Some family is nearby so we do go visit them but we are pretty much huge homebodies unless we are camping.
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