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Post by marysue63 on Jan 19, 2022 22:01:10 GMT
I've been following the thread from jeremysgirl about her vacation plans with her husband and was really struck by the whole thing. I've been with the same company for over 30 years so I get 6 weeks of vacation every year, I can't imagine only having 2 weeks off! If my spouse only have 2 weeks a year I would want to spend both of them together. But that aside, do you always plan your vacations with your spouse? My husband and I spend all of our vacations together, but we will each take random days off throughout the year and may or may not spend that time together. I take a sisters trip every other year that he doesn't come to, and he'll sometimes take a long weekend and go golfing with his friends. How do you do vacations with your spouse or SO? |
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Post by maryland on Jan 19, 2022 22:05:36 GMT
My husband has a lot of vacation and we go to the beach. We used to go for a month, but after kids started college we go for 2 weeks. The rest of his vacation he uses to just stay home and get stuff done around the house or work on his car. We do go to his family reunion 9 hrs. away every year but we are just gone for 3 days.
I am a sahm, so however he wants to spend his days off is fine with me. I love the beach too, but only want to go for 2 weeks at a time. I feel like I would love to come home and have the house to myself for a week to get it cleaned up while the family enjoys another week at the beach.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 19, 2022 22:08:26 GMT
DH is a teacher, so we go somewhere as a family every summer, spring break, and thanksgiving break.
He has also taken off random weeks so we can go to normally crowded places at off times. Like he’s taken off weeks in October to do Disney because Halloween at the parks is our favorite. In 2020 he took off the first week of December to do Universal. I won’t go to places like that when everyone else is on school break.
The kids and I travel a lot without him. In 2021, the kids and I took trips to Las Vegas, Denver, Santa Fe, Houston, and Atlanta without him (for a week at a time).
Usually I discuss with him where he cares about going versus where he wants to go as a family. We went to Denver to go to the opening of the new Meow Wolf and DH isn’t super into art, so he didn’t care about that. But we wouldn’t go to Universal or Disney without him because I know he cares too much about that.
We have talked about it and decided our highest priority is to make sure the kids get to have awesome experiences. So if there is a special event like an exhibit, opening, lecture, show, etc. and he can’t take off, he doesn’t mind if we take the trip without him.
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Post by stormsts on Jan 19, 2022 22:17:59 GMT
My DH has been with his company for 32 years so he gets 5 weeks vacation(I think). I own my own business so I can generally take off when I want. We take a couple of trips together a year. I also always take a girls trip. He has done a few trips with the guys but it isn't an annual thing. I usually take some time and go to my parents by myself and then we go together. When the kids were young we always did joint vacations or as a family. We just didn't have the time or energy to take separate trips!
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,004 
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Post by Gennifer on Jan 19, 2022 22:22:54 GMT
I don’t get paid vacation. So, while my husband gets a lot more time off than I do, he generally does a day here and a day there.
He took off three weeks over Christmas/New Year, and I had about two weeks off, but it’s because our restaurant was closed. We didn’t go anywhere, just enjoyed our holidays.
We vacation together.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jan 19, 2022 22:27:26 GMT
I don't currently have a significant other.
If I did, it would be a combination of single and together, depending on the reason, destination, time frame, etc...
Personally, there are some things that I prefer to do alone.
I was single (no significant other). I did a road trip to the beach, actually several beach towns in central coast California.
I walked the beach, the trails, the boardwalk, the pier, the towns, went in many of the little shops.
Spent as much or as little time in whichever place, that I want to. Moved along at my own pace.
It was wonderful.
I love doing this type of stuff by myself. I don't like someone following me while shopping, browsing.
I don't like feeling rushed when I am in meandering and wandering mode.
I don't like knowing the other person is being tolerant and accomodating me, because they really don't care for meandering, wandering, browsing, looking, sitting on the bench observing, all the walking.
I am a huge believer in..... You do you. I'll do me. We do us.
Just because I, you, we, etc... are in a relationship or marriage...........doesn't mean we have to do every single thing together or spent every free moment togther. There are some couples that "together always" works for them, and that is wonderful. But for me personally, I need me time, quiet time, alone time. Too much togetherness is not good for my wellbeing.
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Post by padresfan619 on Jan 19, 2022 22:35:02 GMT
In the past we have taken trips and gone on vacation without each other. Either one of us had to work, didn’t want to go to the destination, or it was a girls/guys trip. We aren’t running off on any trips any time soon but when we are up for it it will definitely be either a family trip or just the two of us. I’d love to make up for the fact that we didn’t get to go on one final trip just the two of us before having a baby.
Depending on how things are Covid wise Mother’s Day weekend I do plan on doing a weekend away with my best friend at the spa. My gift from my husband is watching the baby the entire weekend.
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Post by huskermom98 on Jan 19, 2022 22:35:21 GMT
We take one big trip as a family every year, give or take for a week. Some years DH goes on hunting or fishing weekend trips with a friend--those can be anywhere from 3-5 days; some years he takes multiple, other years he feels lucky to be able to get one trip in. My only "trip" without DH or our boys is a 4-day scrapbooking retreat that's out of town. He would be ok with me going on other trips (as long as they didn't break the bank) but I don't have a set of friends that do "girls only" trips.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,741
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Post by grammanisi on Jan 19, 2022 22:37:52 GMT
Yes. And no! I'm retired, so I can pretty much go whenever I want to. I usually visit my sister twice a year. By myself.
He, on the other hand, is still working. We spend all of his vacation time together.
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Post by librarylady on Jan 19, 2022 22:46:29 GMT
DH does not like to travel, now.
I go alone, or I don't go.
I have taken several trips with a friend or my sisters. He is just fine with that.
When we were younger, we made vacation trips together. Trips to his family usually together. He does not like to go to my family---he says he likes my family, but his actions say otherwise. I don't want him to go because he is acts like an ass when he goes and I'd just as soon he stayed away.
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Post by catmom on Jan 19, 2022 22:54:41 GMT
We plan and spend our vacations together. Fortunately we both enjoy and prioritize international travel. We both like to travel to visit family (who are thankfully on the same coast) but we usually only devote long weekends to family and spend our actual vacations travelling.
We will take days here and there separately though. DH got 3-4 weeks vacation and I got 5-6 weeks, BUT his week is 12 days so I would need 1.5 weeks to match his days off on a vacation, so we were close to even.
We plan together what we want and deviating from it, outside of an emergency or great opportunity, would not be looked upon favourably.
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Post by guzismom on Jan 19, 2022 22:55:29 GMT
When my daughters were little, my husband starting sending me on solo vacations; 'vacations from Motherhood', he called them. I am a SCUBA diver, so the trips were always to go diving.
We have continued the tradition, despite my girls being adults and living away from home. As a matter of fact, I just today completed the booking of a trip for May/June to Roatan, Honduras to go diving. My hubby used to dive; but honestly, he no longer wants to participate in the sport...so solo vacations are a perfect thing for me. I do not work outside the home; hubby does. We go on plenty of trips together; as a matter of fact, we just got back from a month in France visiting our daughter (among other things). We have a trip in April to NYC to watch our younger daughter run her first marathon.
There is absolutely NOTHING more relaxing than traveling solo. I will never give it up.
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Post by ntsf on Jan 19, 2022 23:06:38 GMT
over the years I have taken many solo trips as has my husband. currently --he goes to burning man. without me. I go to women's weekends at girl scout camps. when my kids were 7 and 9, I left them with grandparents and went to europe for 1 month.
I go camping by myself, and then we sometimes have vacations like the one when our kids were small--we went to hong kong, he spent the days paragliding, I spent the days shopping and we got together in the evenings.
so it is a mix. I love doing things with him.. but our interests are divergent.. he doesn't go skiing, I don't go to burning man. we are happy with that.
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Post by gar on Jan 19, 2022 23:10:50 GMT
We always plan and take holidays (vacations, not Christmas) together. We have done a few days away separately and could do more but we’re just not in that habit.
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sarahruby
Full Member
Posts: 300
Jul 1, 2014 0:40:17 GMT
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Post by sarahruby on Jan 19, 2022 23:12:29 GMT
I go the beach every year. DH went once, it wasn't his thing.
We did do a few vacations together, but mostly it's me that goes away and he takes vacation as well, but stays home and does projects.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jan 19, 2022 23:13:18 GMT
We've been married ten years. We started traveling together all the time (the newlywed phase I suppose), but eventually transitioned to a bit of both. For example, for trips together last year we did a tenth anniversary getaway and a few other small trips. Separately, he did two weeks in Canada for hunting and I had a two week trip to France with girlfriends. I do a lot of girlfriend trips - mostly long weekends, but occasionally longer.
I don't count trips to family as vacation per se. There's a lot of those mixed in there as well. He goes sometime, but I go alone more frequently so I can stay longer and he doesn't have to miss work.
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Post by mom on Jan 19, 2022 23:14:04 GMT
DH gets 7 weeks of vacation time and yes, we plan all of our major trips together. We both will go do weekend trips with friends, etc without the other one, but for vacations? We take them together.
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Post by cmpeter on Jan 19, 2022 23:17:07 GMT
We do about 75% together, 25% separate.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jan 19, 2022 23:18:39 GMT
Vacations are not normal for us.. mostly we just go back to visit family... and it's me and the kid(s)... DH is a truck driver so he doesn't really have 'vacation' days. It's hard for him to take off a week or two or whatever because he doesn't get paid. Vacation time is built in his pay or something like that. It sucks.
Basically I vacation to see family.. My mom or best friend. Usually have my kid(s) with me.. not so much the older ones, but my 13 year old does.
Poor 13 year old has never had a real vacation.. BUT that is all changing at the end of May with an epic trip to Florida to see my sister and then a cruise (at least it is 80% a go)... The cruise is paid for which is why we are going. I just have to get flight tickets to seal the deal.. then save like mad for everything else. Covid or no Covid my daughter has had the brunt of being 12 years younger than her siblings and we did all our vacationing before she was born. (She was a surprise) And then DH changed careers. She would like to never visit Missouri, Oklahoma or Kansas again. HAHA.
Now DH has NO interest in a cruise.. not his thing... He would rather just have a long weekend with our ATVs and the mountains and go camping.. which I love to do as well. So we all do that when he is home. That's our vacations.
Oh I forgot one thing.. My middle daughter and I like to travel together.. we went to France and Germany and we had a blast. We met my oldest son there.. while it was great to see him and vacation with the two of them.. he isn't the best one to travel with.. his idea and my idea of vacation is different. So DD and I do better together alone.. haha.. I'm hoping my youngest and I will have more time like this as she gets older.. like starting in May!
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Post by lisae on Jan 19, 2022 23:23:53 GMT
When I worked with a limited amount of time off - 3 weeks for most of that time - we did take trips longer than a weekend away together and most weekends away were together also. The only exception was trips he took with his kids when they got too old to want to come here for part of the summer. He would take them on a trip for a week and I gladly bowed out. I even suggested destinations I knew they would all enjoy - a cruise, a trip to Mexico, New Orleans in August - that I had no desire to go on. Okay, that last one sounds a bit mean but one daughter was doing an internship in Mississippi so the trip to New Orleans was all wrapped up in the road trip. He also visited them between Christmas and New Years. Some years I went and some I did not depending on how much vacation time I had left.
Last summer, DH took a trip with his youngest daughter and family and I did not go as nothing they were doing interested me. He was fine with that. We are planning to go with his oldest daughter and son-in-law on a trip later this year together. So it really depends on what we each want to do.
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Jan 19, 2022 23:26:29 GMT
We've always done the bigger trips as a family, but not the little trips. Over the years, DH has had lots of opportunities to travel to other cities for long weekends for conferences. I've needed to hang back because of the kids and the house, so he started taking the older DDs individually, and eventually youngest DD was able to go.
The next conference, post COVID, will be my turn.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 19, 2022 23:28:34 GMT
We used to, except stbx would do a couple of hunting trips without me.
I'm hoping this summer to go visit friends.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jan 19, 2022 23:28:53 GMT
I usually just do 1-2 trips with my SO but I do a bunch on my own or with other people. I like to travel more than he does and I work for a company which is generous with vacation time (though he gets at least 6 weeks).
If I got only 2 weeks I’d probably be frantic/stressed out about how to spend them!
I also really enjoy shorter vacations that are like 3-4 nights. I love exploring a new city or area.
In a couple weeks I’m going to the desert with my sister for a few nights, in May I’m doing another long weekend in Newport Beach with my female cousins, and end of May I booked a kayaking adventure (by myself!) in the San Juan Islands. A few weeks ago I spent a long weekend in Denver with my 21yo.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,333
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Post by amom23 on Jan 19, 2022 23:31:13 GMT
We do most trips together, but not everything.
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,978
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Post by Sarah*H on Jan 19, 2022 23:35:36 GMT
My husband and I travel together often, although it's been limited the last few years because of the pandemic. We always take at least one family vacation together, sometimes two, camp several long weekends as a family and then every year he & I take a couple shorter trips together but without the kids. I travel more without him - an annual girls trip with one set of friends and every other year with another set of friends. He's always done a guys golf trip and guys camping trip too. This year for the first time he is going on a trip with his buddies from college. I think it's a nice mix. We definitely try to take advantage of holiday weekends to create opportunities to travel outside of formal vacation time.
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Post by busy on Jan 19, 2022 23:55:02 GMT
I have unlimited vacation and DH has only a couple times a year he can get away - between sports seasons. So, we do couple and family vacations in those times (March, June, August). We also go to the beach a lot year-round, for weekends and occasionally a couple days during the week (I work remotely so I can work from anywhere, or take time off). And then I take more trips with DS or friends from long weekends to a week at a time.
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Post by littlemama on Jan 20, 2022 0:03:20 GMT
We vacation together.
In the 30 years we have been together, there have been exactly two days where we did not see each other- one because dh was on a 3 day company golf outing and one because ds and I were in TN for dh's grandmother's funeral (dh had just started a new job 3 weeks prior. He attended the funeral in our state. Ds really wanted to attend the TN funeral so he and I went)
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,636
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Post by valincal on Jan 20, 2022 0:10:27 GMT
DH has his own business and can work remotely so he pretty much can travel when he pleases. We do several vacations a year together. He usually has a few golf trips with his buddies and I get away with my girlfriends a couple of times a year too.
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Post by aj2hall on Jan 20, 2022 0:11:10 GMT
We’ve been married 25 years. All of our big trips have been together, sometimes with extended family, too. We took the boys separately to Disney when they were little which was fun. Our smaller trips are mostly together, too. Sometimes Dh will leave a day earlier to get back to work. I spend lots of scrapbook weekends solo, and I’ve gone out to the West Coast to see my brother and his family, but I don’t think Dh has ever been on a solo trip. He could go somewhere solo, I’ve offered lots of times, I just don’t think it’s his cup of tea.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,225
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Post by gina on Jan 20, 2022 0:12:25 GMT
My husband can arrange to have the two halves of his vacation taken together, so he will be off for an entire month. He's done that before and taken June or July which was cool. We take 2-3 vacations a year and they are always together and mostly with our kids (we've done a few non-kid ones). We go to Lake George every Summer with my extended family, a giant camping trip every October with tons of family & friends and then we will throw in things we love like Disney, we've done California, Wisconsin road trip, etc. I should add I am a baby photographer who makes her own hours so I get vacation whenever.  And if he doesn't have vacation per say, he can arrange his 24 hour shifts where he is off for basically a week, so its never been a problem him being off when we need. We don't plan vacations around his vacation time. We plan the vacation first, then he can arrange for the days off he needs. |
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And if he doesn't have vacation per say, he can arrange his 24 hour shifts where he is off for basically a week, so its never been a problem him being off when we need. We don't plan vacations around his vacation time. We plan the vacation first, then he can arrange for the days off he needs.