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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 16:49:06 GMT
I have a very close family member, a young man that I am fond of, who hired a matchmaker to introduce him to a Russian woman to marry and live in the US. He is 30, not experienced with dating at all, and having a hard time finding someone he likes in the US. Covid isn't helping at all. And he's in a male-dominated profession, so meeting someone at work is not likely. The matchmaker seems reputable. But I'm somewhat concerned about an extremely attractive young woman, who surely wouldn't have any issues finding a nice man in Russia...why would she want to marry an American man via a matchmaker? Will this end up happily ever after? I'm staying out of it as much as I can, because, to a large extent, it's really none of my business. Maybe I am just wanting to hear good new stories about American men marrying beautiful Russian women? At this point I am committed to watching his cats when he flies over to meet her in the Ukraine (he said that Americans are not able to fly to Russia at this time). He is not open to much advice, so I will watch his cats when he goes over there and pray for the best.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jan 20, 2022 16:59:43 GMT
It’s none of your business, really.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jan 20, 2022 17:02:40 GMT
I always had it in my mind that when a Russian gal marries an American (like in this situation, they are there and he is here) they want out of Russia and this is the way to do it. Our slowjoe has a Russian bride.. LOL.. his wife is Russian but they met here. But maybe if a chance he sees this, maybe he has some kind of insight through his wife (not that he married that way, but saying his wife can give some insight on this) I'll try to direct him here..  |
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Post by workingclassdog on Jan 20, 2022 17:04:03 GMT
It’s none of your business, really. She stated that in her post. Maybe she just wants to know information in general.. no big deal. |
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,844
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Jan 20, 2022 17:12:53 GMT
There is a guy i know... he hired a matchmaker.. his wife is from Russia... she isnt the stereotypical blonde bombshell.. she is brunette and is a next door neighbor type girl.. shes really lovely...
They met a couple times.. then got married... she does speak English though not super great... and he is learning Russian... she is going to the local community college... she also sews on the side... she makes costumes and dresses and alters things...
For her it is was a way out of Russia although she still owns her apt.. for him it was to find a wife... they are a good couple...
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,844
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Jan 20, 2022 17:14:29 GMT
Not all the brides are gold digging scammers.... there really are nice women who just want something different... and the ability to leave russia is a big goal for some women
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 17:18:09 GMT
I always had it in my mind that when a Russian gal marries an American (like in this situation, they are there and he is here) they want out of Russia and this is the way to do it. Our slowjoe has a Russian bride.. LOL.. his wife is Russian but they met here. But maybe if a chance he sees this, maybe he has some kind of insight through his wife (not that he married that way, but saying his wife can give some insight on this) I'll try to direct him here..  Thank you so much!! |
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 17:19:47 GMT
There is a guy i know... he hired a matchmaker.. his wife is from Russia... she isnt the stereotypical blonde bombshell.. she is brunette and is a next door neighbor type girl.. shes really lovely... They met a couple times.. then got married... she does speak English though not super great... and he is learning Russian... she is going to the local community college... she also sews on the side... she makes costumes and dresses and alters things... For her it is was a way out of Russia although she still owns her apt.. for him it was to find a wife... they are a good couple... AWESOME!! This is something I was hoping to read. I want this to be the best "happily ever after" for him. I think I am fearing the unknown. |
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 17:21:26 GMT
Not all the brides are gold digging scammers.... there really are nice women who just want something different... and the ability to leave russia is a big goal for some women This is something I was hoping to read as well. Again, I think I have a big fear of the unknown, as most people do. I actually studied Russian in college...a long time ago, before the fall of the iron curtain...in my degree program we had to have four semesters of any foreign language. I still have my books...I may brush up on it. |
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Post by mom on Jan 20, 2022 17:26:52 GMT
I have lived in Russia before and know several ladies who were the Russian Bride or were trying to become a Russian bride. They did it because they wanted to get out of Russia and could not afford to do so on their own. (When I lived there Match.com and the internet wasn't like it is today). The brides families were poor (like, really really poor) and they did not have the ability to move up the 'food chain' if they stayed in Russia. By marrying an American (or Canadian) they were able to move here and better themselves. Bonus points that they could apply to become an American. If they stayed in Russia they would not have the ability to go to college.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jan 20, 2022 17:28:08 GMT
Why would someone marry an American man? To get out of Russia.
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 17:31:29 GMT
I have lived in Russia before and know several ladies who were the Russian Bride or were trying to become a Russian bride. They did it because they wanted to get out of Russia and could not afford to do so on their own. (When I lived there Match.com and the internet wasn't like it is today). The brides families were poor (like, really really poor) and they did not have the ability to move up the 'food chain' if they stayed in Russia. By marrying an American (or Canadian) they were able to move here and better themselves. Bonus points that they could apply to become an American. If they stayed in Russia they would not have the ability to go to college. This young lady he has been talking to has a degree and is a resident in a Psychiatry program at a local hospital there...she seems to have a lot going for her...as best as I can tell. I apologize for not including this in the original post. |
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Post by ~summer~ on Jan 20, 2022 17:34:59 GMT
So she’s a doctor over there? I’d bet it’s much better to be a doctor here - but will be long process for her if that’s what she’s planning to do.
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 17:39:49 GMT
So she’s a doctor over there? I’d bet it’s much better to be a doctor here - but will be long process for her if that’s what she’s planning to do. She's a resident now... |
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Post by gar on Jan 20, 2022 17:40:18 GMT
It’s none of your business, really. You know, some people have relatives they care about, are close to and who's welfare is of concern to them. There's no harm in finding out some info and having some knowledge about something even if they just keep it to themselves. OP is aware he hasn't asked for her opinion. |
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leeny
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,637
Location: Northern California
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Jan 20, 2022 17:45:20 GMT
I had a co-worker who did something similar but his bride was from the Philippines. Worked out very well, two kids and 20 years later they are still married. Not every situation is the stereotype or TV version. Best wishes to your relative!
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Post by ~summer~ on Jan 20, 2022 17:45:55 GMT
So she’s a doctor over there? I’d bet it’s much better to be a doctor here - but will be long process for her if that’s what she’s planning to do. She's a resident now... ok just curious- here if you are a resident you are a doctor. |
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 20, 2022 17:55:46 GMT
I have a very close family member, a young man that I am fond of, who hired a matchmaker to introduce him to a Russian woman to marry and live in the US. He is 30, not experienced with dating at all, and having a hard time finding someone he likes in the US. Covid isn't helping at all. And he's in a male-dominated profession, so meeting someone at work is not likely. The matchmaker seems reputable. But I'm somewhat concerned about an extremely attractive young woman, who surely wouldn't have any issues finding a nice man in Russia...why would she want to marry an American man via a matchmaker? Will this end up happily ever after? I'm staying out of it as much as I can, because, to a large extent, it's really none of my business. Maybe I am just wanting to hear good new stories about American men marrying beautiful Russian women? At this point I am committed to watching his cats when he flies over to meet her in the Ukraine (he said that Americans are not able to fly to Russia at this time). He is not open to much advice, so I will watch his cats when he goes over there and pray for the best. First my questions based on what I bolded: What doesn't he like about the American women he knows? What are his expectations of a wife? Is he being honest about his expectations? Is he only looking at beautiful Russian woman? You need to watch a few seasons of 90 Day Fiance. Plenty of Russian/American matches over the years. Some are catfish situations, some fall apart because of misrepresentations of lifestyle, some fall apart because they just aren't a love match and some have successful marriages with kids a few years later. |
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 18:01:58 GMT
ok just curious- here if you are a resident you are a doctor. Ahhh. OK, then she must be a doctor. |
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 18:03:59 GMT
I had a co-worker who did something similar but his bride was from the Philippines. Worked out very well, two kids and 20 years later they are still married. Not every situation is the stereotype or TV version. Best wishes to your relative! Thank you!! That's what I want for him, a "happily ever after." |
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Post by papersilly on Jan 20, 2022 18:05:59 GMT
I always had it in my mind that when a Russian gal marries an American (like in this situation, they are there and he is here) they want out of Russia and this is the way to do it. i hate to admit it but i can't help but think this too. i can't say i blame the women either. a way out is a way out. i'm sure a good number of these marriages work out but i'm sure there are women who count the days until they can get out the marriage. |
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 18:06:13 GMT
I have a very close family member, a young man that I am fond of, who hired a matchmaker to introduce him to a Russian woman to marry and live in the US. He is 30, not experienced with dating at all, and having a hard time finding someone he likes in the US. Covid isn't helping at all. And he's in a male-dominated profession, so meeting someone at work is not likely. The matchmaker seems reputable. But I'm somewhat concerned about an extremely attractive young woman, who surely wouldn't have any issues finding a nice man in Russia...why would she want to marry an American man via a matchmaker? Will this end up happily ever after? I'm staying out of it as much as I can, because, to a large extent, it's really none of my business. Maybe I am just wanting to hear good new stories about American men marrying beautiful Russian women? At this point I am committed to watching his cats when he flies over to meet her in the Ukraine (he said that Americans are not able to fly to Russia at this time). He is not open to much advice, so I will watch his cats when he goes over there and pray for the best. First my questions based on what I bolded: What doesn't he like about the American women he knows? What are his expectations of a wife? Is he being honest about his expectations? Is he only looking at beautiful Russian woman? You need to watch a few seasons of 90 Day Fiance. Plenty of Russian/American matches over the years. Some are catfish situations, some fall apart because of misrepresentations of lifestyle, some fall apart because they just aren't a love match and some have successful marriages with kids a few years later. Well, to be blunt, on dating apps here in the US he only meets overweight women that he is not attracted to. Yes, he is only looking at beautiful Russian women. It sounds a little shallow, but I have to admit I wouldn't date a man that I didn't have any physical attraction to... |
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Post by mollycoddle on Jan 20, 2022 18:06:57 GMT
Hmm, I would not recommend entering Ukraine any time in the near future.
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Post by gar on Jan 20, 2022 18:12:38 GMT
Hmm, I would not recommend entering Ukraine any time in the near future. Too right!!  |
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 18:19:04 GMT
Hmm, I would not recommend entering Ukraine any time in the near future. Too right!!  My thoughts as well. I'm going to have him call every evening...to check on his cats  ...that will make me less anxious. |
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 20, 2022 18:23:29 GMT
Yes, he is only looking at beautiful Russian women. It sounds a little shallow, but I have to admit I wouldn't date a man that I didn't have any physical attraction to... So, it kind of begs the question IMHO, how physically attractive is he? The biggest train wrecks usually involve religion, lifestyle (fitness buff/couch potato, urban/rural, vegan/meat & potatoes) and willingness to make adjustments for the new partner instead of slotting them into your existing life. Meeting in a neutral spot can let them see if there is any chemistry/attraction but until they see what day to day life is like for the other person, they don't start thinking about what the potential roadblocks to longer term happiness are. |
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Post by amp on Jan 20, 2022 18:31:24 GMT
Yes, he is only looking at beautiful Russian women. It sounds a little shallow, but I have to admit I wouldn't date a man that I didn't have any physical attraction to... So, it kind of begs the question IMHO, how physically attractive is he? The biggest train wrecks usually involve religion, lifestyle (fitness buff/couch potato, urban/rural, vegan/meat & potatoes) and willingness to make adjustments for the new partner instead of slotting them into your existing life. Meeting in a neutral spot can let them see if there is any chemistry/attraction but until they see what day to day life is like for the other person, they don't start thinking about what the potential roadblocks to longer term happiness are. I would objectively say he is average in terms of attractiveness. He mentioned to me that a lot of the American ladies he likes have rejected him because he is 5'10"...not over 6" tall...and I would also suspect that because he doesn't look like a model, that he is an average guy, that is a problem. He tried speed dating once, and a few of the women, as soon as they saw him, just left...without saying anything. He's made sure that their religion is compatible...but I am not sure of the rest. I completely agree with you about the day-to-day life thing. I don't know how one would get past that when overseas dating...hopefully, they will figure it out. |
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Post by slowjoe on Jan 20, 2022 19:13:00 GMT
Hey I'd love to add to this thread but it'll have to wait until tonight as I'm slammed at work. Marking my place. |
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,844
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Jan 20, 2022 19:25:45 GMT
Religon was a hard thing for the girl i know... my friend is atheist and she is some form of orthodox.. i don't really know what it is... but she never has found a "home" in the churches here.. so religious holidays that mean something to her... she has had to make an adjustment to how she celebrates...
When she 1st got here as his wife... his sisters were kinda snotty to her.. not mean but sarcastic in a way she didn't understand... so that took some time for him to set his sisters straight and welcome her... or he was out!! Theyve been together for awhile now but it wasnt easy for some of the sisters... i don't really know why though...
He already owned his house... but he would take her to different stores to try to get her to decorate and make it her home....she was super apprehensive about spending money... she is still a thrifter...
She does the bulk of the grocery shopping with him because she does most all the cooking... he ate a lot of fast food before her...
They both went into it knowing they wanted it to work for the long haul... and they've been married for 4 or 5 years... im sure they have their differences but they don't broadcast them... they seem to have found a way to work thru all of that...
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Post by Gem Girl on Jan 20, 2022 19:29:12 GMT
I'm somewhat concerned about an extremely attractive young woman, who surely wouldn't have any issues finding a nice man in Russia...why would she want to marry an American
I was personally acquainted with a Russian bride who married an American man nearby. She said that the men in her sphere didn't want to work &/or drank too much. Russia also has 86 men per 100 women (per Professor Google). Her US husband was less educated & less physically attractive (subjective, I know) than she, but he was a kind and hard-working fellow.
That being said, she married him, got her green card, then divorced him ASAP. My reporting shouldn't be construed as approval.
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...that will make me less anxious.
