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Post by crimsoncat05 on Mar 7, 2022 16:13:25 GMT
Don’t be afraid to call your case manager or nurse. They really are there to help. Also don’t be afraid to use the pain meds (if prescribed). Our nurse told us that some families are afraid to administer needed medication. Your loved one is not in danger of addiction. Pain management is so important my mom was on hospice before she passed away last month (also only for a couple weeks... the time was shorter than we thought it would be) and I agree with both of these things so much. My sister, who had been Mom's primary caregiver, had gotten to the point where she couldn't even leave the house for longer than an hour or two because there just wasn't anyone. Even though they had arranged a private caregiver, she only came for a couple hours twice a week. Knowing the hospice team was going to set a schedule of people to come and help out (volunteer, nurse's aide, etc.), and would all work together to evaluate mom's condition, was such a help to my sister mentally. The last few days of mom's life (my other sister and I were also there), Judy called a couple different times to get advice-- weekend, late evening, etc. They have someone call back as soon as they can. Things changed very quickly those last few days- the nurse came every day, I think, to check on mom, and changed her meds appropriately each time she came. I think it was actually very helpful to have everything go thru hospice- the medication was sent via FedEx and got there the very next day, they got her a different (better) oxygen concentrator, they arranged for the hospital bed, etc. All of the medication decisions went thru the hospice doctor instead of having to call mom's various drs and specialists. And when she passed away, the nurse came right after we called (which was very late on a Friday evening) to verify her passing, pick up the meds, etc. She was sooo, sooo respectful of the situation, of us and our grief, and of Mom. One of the things Nurse Sherry said then will stick with me: "you gave your mom a great gift by helping her to stay at home until she passed away" (which is what Mom wanted- to be at home) . It was the toughest situation I've ever had to go through (and I was only involved for a few days- I can't even imagine what my sister went through), but that sentence sums it up. eta: the social worker is there for the family even after the person passes away... any of us can call the social worker if we want / need to talk about mom's passing, and we can do that for up to a year. They don't just 'drop you' once the person passes away.
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 7, 2022 16:28:38 GMT
crimsoncat05 , I'm so very sorry about the recent loss of your mom. When my mom was being admitted to hospice, she asked her oncologist about addiction, because she was terrified of becoming addicted. His response was to tell her that if she became addicted and he found a cure for her cancer he would personally pay for her stint at the Betty Ford Center. In otherwards, addiction is the least of your worries when you're a hospice patient. You need the pain relief and should take it.
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Post by tentoes on Mar 7, 2022 17:20:57 GMT
So sorry you are facing this. Just sending love and hugs and prayers to you and your family.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Mar 7, 2022 17:51:06 GMT
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Post by angel97701 on Mar 7, 2022 18:17:11 GMT
First off, so sorry that you are going through the death journey for your dad. Prayers for you and your mother.
OP, it depends on what country (I am assuming the US?), but hospice is covered by Medicaid. As others have said they will pay for everything needed as you Dad progresses.
My experience was just in January, my 95 year old dad passed after 7 years with Alzheimers. My mother was his main caregiver with in home health care twice a week the last few months, once a week in the last year. Not only do you need to deal with the emotional aspect but the health care aspect AND pain management. As others have already said, dying is very hard work for a person and body.
My sister, myself, mom, and a niece were all in the home as Dad finished his journey. With the situation of Covid, it is harder to get the care in a facility, hospital etc that you Dad is more likely to get at home.
Hospice nurses can and will guide your Mom each step of the way, as other's have suggested . . . email or call the coordinator and explain the situation. Help you Mom with the researching choices of cremation, burial, etc. Have these choices recorded with hospice.
When a person is actively dying there are no wrong choices . . . the best advice given to us my my DSD who is a Critical Care Nurse and in her young career has been with a number of patients as they move between life and death.
Access as many services that your mom is willing to have come into the home. Most of them have been listed, they may also include massage, pet therapy, grief therapy for the entire family. Blessings to you as you travel this journey.
As for pain management, this is of the upmost importance! The morphine calms the bodies systems, and helps the patient not feel like they are suffacating.
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Post by redshoes on Mar 7, 2022 19:13:46 GMT
”On Instagram, there is a hospice nurse, Hospice Nurse Penny, I want say her name is, that normalizes death. It has made me feel much better after the fact watching her videos.”
It’s Hospice Nurse Julie on IG…she’s fabulous at explaining what is normal for end of life transitions. I’ve learned a lot in the last few months from her page
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,737
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Mar 7, 2022 19:53:02 GMT
I'm so sorry about your dad. It's such a difficult time for us as their children -- my mom had a hard time listening to me and taking my suggestions. She was so anxious.
I wish I had come here for advice at the time -- you all are so knowledgeable. I didn't understand how it worked, and even though everyone was very kind and helpful, it was a very stressful time. My mom was incensed that they wouldn't force dad to eat, when in fact he had lost the ability to swallow. She insisted that he should get physical therapy, even though he was well past the point of it helping. I spent all my time trying to deal with my mom. She just wouldn't listen to anyone.
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