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Post by epeanymous on Mar 5, 2022 0:57:09 GMT
I know a number of peas have experience with hospice. My father was diagnosed with oral cancer a few years ago, and treatment was unsuccessful; he is slowly dying from it, and his doctors determined that it was time to call in hospice. We met with the social worker yesterday and the nurse today. My mother is not doing well with any of this -- she performs very poorly under stress and is a limited reader, so the various materials hospice has given her (all in writing) have not been very helpful for her. She is very nervous because the one time she gave my father prescribed morphine a few weeks ago, she accidentally gave him 10 times the appropriate dosage, which, obviously . . . wasn't good.
I am trying to help her manage as best as I can, but will admit that, even after two sessions with the hospice folks, I am not entirely clear on the best ways to use hospice services and what questions, if any, I might want to be asking them or how I can help facilitate things for my parents. For those of you who have dealt with hospice care before, are there things you wish you had known? Aspects of hospice you found particularly helpful? Things you wish you had done differently? And are there any "this is how it works" resources you know of that wouldn't require my mother to read?
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Post by monklady123 on Mar 5, 2022 1:39:10 GMT
Have you discussed your mother's limited reading ability with the hospice social worker? If not, start there. Hospice people are used to dealing with all kinds of people and they have resources for just about any scenario. Your mother won't be the first who had trouble understanding the instructions or who has given the wrong dosage of some medication. Tell them and they'll help.  |
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yinzer
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Post by yinzer on Mar 5, 2022 1:45:33 GMT
My experience with hospice was way shorter than we thought it was going to be. (He went to the hospital for back pain Father’s Day 2019. They found an extremely rare form of cancer and he was gone 25 days later) However, just a few things to remember.
Everything must go through hospice once your dad enters their care. All refills, pain management, questions and (for us) equipment rentals are through either your case manager or nurse (depending on their setup). Our main nurse was so great (my dad lived in GA). He met with us the night my dad entered care. He explained everything so clearly. He was so gentle but realistic in expectations. Once your dad passes, they need to be your first call.
My dad’s partner was in state of mind similar to what your mom sounds to be in. It was more difficult because even though they had been together for 13 years, they were not married. As his legal next of kin, things had to go through me which made her mad. But also, when I would ask her for input, she would give me any. It added more stress to a terrible situation.
Plan everything you possibly can. My dad was able to help plan his service. Don’t be afraid to ask your dad (if he is able) what he wants. My dad was a veteran. I was able research everything that needed to be done so once he died, I had a set plan.
Don’t be afraid to call your case manager or nurse. They really are there to help.
Also don’t be afraid to use the pain meds (if prescribed). Our nurse told us that some families are afraid to administer needed medication. Your loved one is not in danger of addiction. Pain management is so important
The cancer that ravaged my dad affected every area including his brain. He did and said some things that were so uncharacteristic. It’s important to remember that it’s the disease, not your loved one.
There might be more, but these are what I remember the most
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Post by bc2ca on Mar 5, 2022 1:47:35 GMT
No advice, but just wanted to send a virtual hug as you go through this incredibly stressful time.  |
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 5, 2022 1:50:38 GMT
My experience with hospice was way shorter than we thought it was going to be. (He went to the hospital for back pain Father’s Day 2019. They found an extremely rare form of cancer and he was gone 25 days later) However, just a few things to remember. Everything must go through hospice once your dad enters their care. All refills, pain management, questions and (for us) equipment rentals are through either your case manager or nurse (depending on their setup). Our main nurse was so great (my dad lived in GA). He met with us the night my dad entered care. He explained everything so clearly. He was so gentle but realistic in expectations. Once your dad passes, they need to be your first call. My dad’s partner was in state of mind similar to what your mom sounds to be in. It was more difficult because even though they had been together for 13 years, they were not married. As his legal next of kin, things had to go through me which made her mad. But also, when I would ask her for input, she would give me any. It added more stress to a terrible situation. Plan everything you possibly can. My dad was able to help plan his service. Don’t be afraid to ask your dad (if he is able) what he wants. My dad was a veteran. I was able research everything that needed to be done so once he died, I had a set plan. Don’t be afraid to call your case manager or nurse. They really are there to help. Also don’t be afraid to use the pain meds (if prescribed). Our nurse told us that some families are afraid to administer needed medication. Your loved one is not in danger of addiction. Pain management is so important
The cancer that ravaged my dad affected every area including his brain. He did and said some things that were so uncharacteristic. It’s important to remember that it’s the disease, not your loved one. There might be more, but these are what I remember the most Thank you -- that in particular was really helpful to hear. My father (he is 90 now) has had substance use disorders as long as I can remember -- mostly alcohol, some prescription drugs -- and I definitely was able to tell from our conversations that my mother has reluctance about pain medication because of that history. He was medication-seeking for invented issues when I was younger, so I think it is difficult for my mother to be as receptive to pain medication now as she is going to need to be. |
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 5, 2022 1:52:23 GMT
Have you discussed your mother's limited reading ability with the hospice social worker? If not, start there. Hospice people are used to dealing with all kinds of people and they have resources for just about any scenario. Your mother won't be the first who had trouble understanding the instructions or who has given the wrong dosage of some medication. Tell them and they'll help.  Thank you. I have the social worker's email and I think I will email or call her about it. It's something I don't love talking about in front of my mother because she is (understandably) very self-conscious about it. My father covered for her when he was more physically capable, but his vision has made reading impossible the past few years. |
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Post by mom on Mar 5, 2022 2:43:40 GMT
Have you discussed your mother's limited reading ability with the hospice social worker? If not, start there. Hospice people are used to dealing with all kinds of people and they have resources for just about any scenario. Your mother won't be the first who had trouble understanding the instructions or who has given the wrong dosage of some medication. Tell them and they'll help. I’m really sorry your are at this point with your dad. Definitely tell them about your moms limited reading and the issues your dad has had before. Tell them all of it and if you think it will embarrass either of them maybe setting up a phone call with his nurse would help - where they can’t hear what’s being said. They won’t be able to adequately help your mom and dad without knowing the history there. Hospice nurses are angels. They’ve heard and seen it all and I’m certain can help. When my mom was in hospice my dad had a hard time with giving my mom morphine…my sister was a prescription pain medicine addict at the time and he could not wrap it around his head that mom wouldn’t become an addict as well. The way we finally got him to give it to her as prescribed was to reassure him it was a comfort issue. We wanted mom comfortable and the dr says this is how we achieve that. We just kept repeating it. We also had him write down every single time and the amount that was given, that way he could compare it to what was prescribed and see it was being given as directed. edited to add- we also used a sharpie to draw a line on the morphine syringe so Dad could visually see where he needed to fill the syringe up to. That seemed to help him not get as confused with the dosage. |
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Post by quietgirl on Mar 5, 2022 3:15:26 GMT
I don't have any experience, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your dad.
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samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Mar 5, 2022 4:16:51 GMT
Is hospice at your home? I was with my mom at the end and she clenched her mouth and didn't want to take any more liquid morphine. They know when it's time and it will be OK, even if the doses are off. When your loved one hasn't moved for 24 hours, it's a sign.
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moodyblue
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Post by moodyblue on Mar 5, 2022 4:28:08 GMT
My husband opted for care in a dedicated hospice facility. He did not want me to have the memory of him dying at home, and it also allowed me to be there as his wife, not his “nurse.” I lived in his room and was there all but a couple hours when I went home to swap clothes and pay bills. The nurses administered the meds when needed.
My mother was getting hospice care at the nursing home for only a few days before she died. Other than the initial meeting to sign the papers and get information, my contacts with the hospice people were all by phone because of COVID. Since I had medical POA, they called me to talk after seeing her.
I’m sure there must be someone from the agency who can talk to your mom more about what to expect. You may need to make some calls or email to let them know about your mom’s needs, which is something they can help you with. You should ask them what you can do to help her and your dad, and even ask them what you should know.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It is never easy.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 5, 2022 4:45:16 GMT
First, I am really sorry you are in this situation. It's a tough road.
My mother had at home hospice care for a whirlwind six days, but I feel like I lived a decade in that time and I learned a lot.
It was not anything like what I thought it would be, and it was so much more than I thought it would be.
It was not 24/7 nursing care. I was the main caregiver. A nurse would come once a day, if requested, for 15 minutes. A home health aide would have come 5-7 times a week for an hour each visit, for things like bathing and feeding. My mother didn't feel comfortable with that, and I did that care.
Feel free to call the social worker and ask questions until you feel like you understand. Also, keep calling back every time you need to. They are used to it.
Equipment rentals! Commode (toilet), shower seat, hospital bed. They come in handy.
Pain meds. There is zero fear of addiction! Taking as needed is not taboo. And as the pain increases, ask for a higher dosage.
My mom was also prescribed Ativan for terminal restlessness. Towards the end, when she couldn't swallow, the nurse told us to crush it, mix it in water, and use the syringe to administer. It's important. It helps the patient not panic and have anxiety.
Hospice gave us a book, something like, Making the most of the time you have left. It outlined step by step symptoms she might have. How to tell if a patient is transitioning.
Terminal patients stop eating. And drinking. Don't push it on them. "Recreational" eating is fine. Eating if and when they want is fine. Not eating at the end is normal.
Hospice can be body and soul care. They can offer to bring in a religious person. But also musicians to play! Or art therapy, if you like it better. Ask what they offer.
Ask for the phone number to call, or procedure to follow, when your father has passed. We needed to call our nurse line and they come out to verify passing.
Also, death can be messy. A waterproof mattress cover goes a long way.
Hospice also can offer services to the family after the death. Grief counselling, grief groups, etc.
On Instagram, there is a hospice nurse, Hospice Nurse Penny, I want say her name is, that normalizes death. It has made me feel much better after the fact watching her videos.
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Post by nlwilkins on Mar 5, 2022 6:17:17 GMT
Mother was in hospice care towards the end in 2010. I was worried that she would run out of days covered by insurance - it was authorized for seven days at a time. We were told to not worry about it, that the authorized days would be added as needed. She was in assisted living and if she was not under hospice care, she would not be getting her pain medications as there were no nurses available.
Hospice services are different from one place to another, just like all other nursing services. So if you have a hospice service that is not getting you what you need, then ask around. (The adage, you get what you pay for holds true also.)
It is important to know that there are different laws/regulations over people dying in the home. If there is a hospice nurse available, they know everything that needs to be done. For my mother, a constable was needed to be called before anything else because anybody dying has to be examined to be sure it was of natural causes. Also, we did not have to do anything towards the end but just be there if we wanted to be.
Also, the hospice nurses were invaluable for the experience they had in end of life issues. They were able to tell us what to expect - one brother, sister, myself and husband were there with her that final week. The hospice nurse made everything much easier of course.
Hospice can provide so many different things and so much information. Also, we were assured, that patients on hospice care did not have their lives extended with extreme measures and were allowed dignity in their passing. All mother had was a catheter, no other machines.
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Post by peasapie on Mar 5, 2022 11:28:58 GMT
My husband opted for care in a dedicated hospice facility. He did not want me to have the memory of him dying at home, and it also allowed me to be there as his wife, not his “nurse.” I lived in his room and was there all but a couple hours when I went home to swap clothes and pay bills. The nurses administered the meds when needed. I never heard of this but it sounds like a great alternative to home care. |
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 5, 2022 12:29:27 GMT
Giant hugs. My DH died in hospice in the hospital. His needs at the end were far too great for me to handle at home.
We did look into transferring him to a hospice facility, but there was a wait list. We knew he only had a few days, so that was not an option.
I would look into if there is a hospice center near your parent's home and whether they have an opening. It's not cheap. Medicare will pay for his care, but not room and board. The place we looked at was $500/day. Our insurance did not cover it, but some do.
Ask how often someone will come to his home. Take as much help as you can get.
Again, I am so very sorry.
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SweetieBsMom
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Mar 5, 2022 14:05:20 GMT
I’m sorry you parents are dealing with this.
DH was in hospice care for 7 months at home. DH didn’t want to go to a facility and he was 6’4” and 300lbs and it was very difficult for me to care for him but it was what he wanted.
I loved his hospice nurse, I’m still friends with her and as soon as I’m able we’re going out for dinner drinks. Thankfully she was here the morning DH passed. I don’t know what I would have done without her because even though I knew it was coming it was still a shock. She stayed with me for hours.
I would definitely bring up the struggles your Mom is having, remember, they’re there to help and ease the transition. I would talk to them about issues I was having caring for DH. As someone said, they’ve seen it all and they had great suggestions for me.
I was also hesitant about morphine but the nurse explained that the goal of hospice is to make DH as comfortable as possible. It’s not easy to watch a loved one go thru something like this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your parents.
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Post by christine58 on Mar 5, 2022 14:18:40 GMT
My dad was on a palliative care floor at the hospital. They were wonderful. We could not have cared for him as well as they did although he so wanted to go home. Our county’s hospice was a joke. Told my mother that they didn’t deliver beds on a Saturday or Sunday. Then they had the audacity to call a week later and say that they had a hospital bed they could bring to the house. My mother then told them there was no need because he died.
My dad had a hand and planning his end of life and his celebration of life. So make sure you have those conversations along with any other conversations you want to have. I treasure those nine days with him from the beginning of him entering the hospital until he passed. Thank God Covid was two months away
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Post by jemmls4 on Mar 5, 2022 16:26:03 GMT
My mom was in a nursing home when hospice was called in, it they had a rep that came out on a Sunday evening just hours after my mom consented to hospice. The rep explained everything that was going to happen step by step. They also had a social worker that evaluated her and then talked to me and my brother to help us with anything we needed or didn’t understand. Someone was always available to answer questions. I’d contact the hospice company and explain situation with you mom. Is it possible for you to be present when someone talks to her so you can make notes and be the dispassionate person absorbing the information so you can reinforce what they’ve said when your mom becomes overwhelmed?
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Post by destined2bmom on Mar 5, 2022 16:30:59 GMT
I don’t have any experience; but I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry that your family is experiencing this journey.
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artbabe
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Post by artbabe on Mar 5, 2022 17:03:14 GMT
When Mom was dying we used hospice and they were very good but we needed more than that. We also used an in home caretaker service on top of Hospice. Ours was called Comfort Keepers. They were so helpful. Someone was always at our house, taking care of Mom's needs. The night shift would sit with her all night and it enabled us to be able to sleep without worrying about her. They offered to do laundry and stuff like that but our focus was that someone was always sitting with Mom. My Mom died pretty quickly- She was diagnosed November 11th, went into Hospice care December 26th, and died January 11th. At first we had her in a hospice facility (Kobacker House in Columbus) but they thought she was going to live longer so she was discharged. If I had it to do over again I would have fought to keep her there- it was an absolutely wonderful place.
I am so sorry. It is incredibly hard. Hospice is a really good thing.
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 5, 2022 17:08:35 GMT
Hospice considers the entire family the patient. They are not just there for your dad. You can also work w/the social worker and get support, referrals and help. Your nurse will be your daily go-to person. The materials that they gave your mom are helpful, but a bit scary. They include facts about the dying process and what to expect. As hard as it was to read, it was helpful.
As for the meds, your dad will need them and addiction is not a concern. If your mother is too nervous to take care of your dad then if affordable you can hire caretakers. My dad worked full time, so we had a caretaker during those hours. When my dad had his heart attack, then we had 2 caretakers rotating shifts in order to take care of my mom. My dad was fine, but unable to lift or do her care while he recovered.
Most hospice situations are good ones. We had an agency that wasn't the greatest, but it was the only one in that area. Though our 2nd nurse was fine. It was a surreal time and you want a good hospice. So, get referrals, check them out. Your oncology office should be able to help you w/referrals.
I truly feel for you. When you're at the point of hospice it's heartbreaking and stressful beyond belief. You'll get through this and you will find healing. ((((HUGS)))).
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 5, 2022 17:13:22 GMT
My husband opted for care in a dedicated hospice facility. He did not want me to have the memory of him dying at home, and it also allowed me to be there as his wife, not his “nurse.” I lived in his room and was there all but a couple hours when I went home to swap clothes and pay bills. The nurses administered the meds when needed. I never heard of this but it sounds like a great alternative to home care. This was what my BFF’s mom chose and it was a really nice option. The place was so peaceful, comforting and quiet. Visitors could come whenever they wanted, there were no set visiting hours like a hospital or nursing home. Her DH could stay as much as he wanted, or go home to change clothes or sleep as needed knowing that she would be cared for around the clock. ETA: I’m so sorry you’re going through this epeanymous. Sending you hugs and keeping your family in my thoughts. |
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Post by lostwithout2peas on Mar 5, 2022 17:28:02 GMT
I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. 💔
I have been both a private caregiver doing end-of-life care and have also taken care of my own father when it was his time due to cancer and had him admitted to an inpatient hospice facility.
1st and foremost what I tell people, as I have spent hours upon hours at people's bedsides as they go thru the dying process, giving your loved one morphine does not make them die quicker as so many people seem to think. Dying is a process. You have to work through so many things and be able to let go in able to pass on, but if you are in pain, you are not able to do that. We don't know how painful dying is. No one had ever come back and told us. Yes we have ways of trying to judge if they are in pain or are comfortable, but for the most part, when it gets to a certain point when they are no longer communicating, it's kind of a guessing game. So please don't be afraid to medicate your loved one. Be merciful. I have seen some drawn-out, unnecessarily long passings due to what the loved ones wanted, not what the patient needed. If they go quickly after administering morphine, it's because they were ready.
Rely on your hospice nurse and case manager. They are usually angels. They are in this line of work because they truly love it. They should also offer an aid to come and shower the patient and change the bed sheets twice a week or so. Use it. It gives you a little break. They should also be giving you any supplies like adult wipes, briefs, lotions, or any type of personal care items the patient may need to keep them comfortable. Remember, it's all about a comfortable, peaceful transition. They also provide counseling for anyone who might need it. Also, don't be afraid to call them at all hours of the night. That's what they are there for.
This is not easy. I know. I have been on both sides, and being the daughter and making the decisions was so, so hard even though I knew so much from my years of experience. Be gentle with yourself. It's a rough time. Try and say the things you want to say if you can. If not, that's ok too.
Please forgive me if I didn't answer any of the questions you needed answered. 2 rounds of Covid have done a number on my brain, unfortunately. But I wanted to give some information about this hard time you are going through.
Sending Hugs to you and your family ❤
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 5, 2022 18:05:05 GMT
Thank you so much, everyone. I really though I had made peace with my father’s situation, but there is something about the reality of someone handing you a “how to deal with the death of a parent” packet that definitely feels different. You have made a lot of really helpful suggestions, and it is also lovely just to get good wishes.
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Deleted
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May 17, 2024 22:21:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2022 19:42:56 GMT
Sending you hugs and lots of love during this time. I just lost my sweet DH in November to cancer. He decided to stop chemo and using whatever energy and life he had left to go to Moffitt and other doctors. Moffitt only gave him a few weeks to live. He wanted to spend it at home. We called in Hospice. As lostwithout2peas very clearly said, they are wonderful. They are angels!! I have a few pics of my sweet DH with different nurses and aides. He ended up having much more time with us than Moffitt initially thought he'd have. Let me run down a quick list of how it went for us: *When they first come and do the intake, your husband has to sign a few papers. It's not intricate. We put off signing a DNR and other things because we didn't want to be rushed into it. *It seems like a revolving door of Hospice people at first, so it can be overwhelming. We had their M.D., Pastor, Veteran who did a Pinning Ceremony for DH and gave him a few hand-made special items. We also saw the Social Worker. *You'll meet with your main Nurse who comes at least once a week. They'll give hardcover booklets with the Hospice information. They'll highlight the telephone # your mom would need for any questions or emergencies (we had quite a few). When and if your mom calls, they'll walk her through it VERY SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY!!! They were GREAT! *DH lasted for almost 3 months on Hospice and was active until the very end. Once he became bed-bound, it was only a few days until he passed. He was only on mild pain meds, and then had to switch to morphine when the pain became intolerable. KEEP IN MIND that by then he was barely speaking, sleeping a lot and very close to passing. The morphine calmed him and took his pain away. It did not push him further towards passing. He stopped eating and drinking before the morphine, and I was unable to get him to swallow 1 tiny morphine pill with water. I had no idea that by then his ability to swallow was nearly gone. *I called and an ARNP came right out (on Thanksgiving night) and showed me how to give him the morphine by making it into a powder, adding drops of water and putting it into a "shot" (without a needle). She put it between his teeth and gums. It allowed him to rest. *ANY time I needed backup with giving him anything or getting ANY help, they'd come out here. So, they gave him 1 more dose of morphine the next day and that was the last dose. I hope this makes sense. DH was aware and active when he began Hospice, and he asked pointed questions about how much time left he had, etc. The nurse was VERY specific. Each time she saw him, she'd assess the status of the cancer. When he was bed-bound, DD and I asked that question. Sadly, the answer was "up to 3 days" and we were shocked since he bounced back from everything else. He passed the following night. So, she'll have the booklets and tons of info, but ALL she needs is the telephone # to call them at any hour of the day/night when she needs them. I wasn't able to read everything at once. Is there anyone would could read the papers over to your mom? Again, there wasn't anything urgent for me/us to read, but I did have to sign some papers when he passed. Prayers to you, to your mom during this tough, emotional time, and to your Dad. I hope that you both find Hospice to be a source of comfort. Ooh, and as far as "bathing" the patient, DH was only able to get into our shower a few times. They gave him sponge-baths after that (an aide comes to bathe the patient, and they'll change his sheets or do some tasks to help). xo |
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Deleted
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May 17, 2024 22:21:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2022 19:51:39 GMT
My husband opted for care in a dedicated hospice facility. He did not want me to have the memory of him dying at home, and it also allowed me to be there as his wife, not his “nurse.” I lived in his room and was there all but a couple hours when I went home to swap clothes and pay bills. The nurses administered the meds when needed. I never heard of this but it sounds like a great alternative to home care. When DH had Hospice, they were ONLY doing home care due to Covid. Going to their Hospice facility was for an emergency and you returned 24 hours later to your home.
As others have said, when you have at-home Hospice, a loved one is the person giving the most care around the clock, but you could ALWAYS reach Hospice via phone if you have questions or urgent matters.
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Post by peasapie on Mar 5, 2022 23:02:47 GMT
You've gotten some very helpful advice, epeanymous, and I can't add to that. I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you as you go through this. I lost both my parents when I was fairly young and remember how hard it was to deal with things - both emotionally as well as practically - towards the end. Some decisions are easier to make than others; please be gentle on yourself and know you will make the best choices with the information you have. |
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Post by lisae on Mar 5, 2022 23:13:18 GMT
My mother was in a facility and in her very last days when Hospice cared for her. They sent someone every day. A minister also came several times. They were very helpful and kind. She could have gone to a hospice facility for her last days but I thought it would be better for her to be around the memory care staff she was used to and I think that was a good call for her. When you do get to those final days, a hospice house might be a good option as they would administer the medicines and it would be a lot easier on your mother. Most people prefer to stay in their own home but it just isn't always the best, not just for them, but for the caregiver. That is a decision you will all have to make together and may also depend on openings in Hospice houses in your area.
Hospice also provided and paid for mother's medicines in those days as well.
If you father does stay at home until he passes, you call Hospice and they come and take care of everything.
I'm sorry you are at this stage. {{hugs}}
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peasquared
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Post by peasquared on Mar 5, 2022 23:14:55 GMT
I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you.
I don't have any advice to offer except an experience with my grandpa. He was put on morphine, but my grandma wouldn't give it to him because it gave him a rash. That poor man suffered needlessly. If that were to ever happen to your father (the rash), please make sure he is still given it.
I'm keeping you all in prayers.
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Deleted
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May 17, 2024 22:21:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2022 0:07:19 GMT
I neglected to say that one of the things I had to do as soon as DH signed up for at-home Hospice was to arrange his funeral/burial, etc. I know it's a lot to think about, and I'm not sure that your parents discussed it, but it's something that at-home Hospice immediately handles once the patient does pass and you don't have to make calls, etc.
DH wanted to be cremated because he knew that I wanted to move from FL back to my family in NY. I ASSUMED that it would be paid for by the V.A., which is what he told me from when we were first together. Well, it doesn't work that way. They pay a portion of a burial. They don't pay for cremation. My sister did quick research and found a local funeral home that did cremations for Veterans for free if you qualify (they calculate your income without your spouse's income). I qualified and they were WONDERFUL. Hospice arranged everything when needed and the funeral home was SO very sweet and supportive to me and to DD. We could have even had a memorial service for free.
It's good to plan that ahead of time so the family isn't scrambling at the worst time. I'm sorry to even mention it, and I have to admit that I wasn't able to get on the phone and call places back then because I was way too emotional to admit that DH was terminal. My baby sis did all of the work for me. <3
I hope that you DO lean on the Peas for support during this time. I did and I got such love and support that it carried me through very rough times. We're here for you and your family. xo
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 6, 2022 12:02:10 GMT
My dad was on a palliative care floor at the hospital. They were wonderful. We could not have cared for him as well as they did although he so wanted to go home. Our county’s hospice was a joke. Told my mother that they didn’t deliver beds on a Saturday or Sunday. Then they had the audacity to call a week later and say that they had a hospital bed they could bring to the house. My mother then told them there was no need because he died.
My dad had a hand and planning his end of life and his celebration of life. So make sure you have those conversations along with any other conversations you want to have. I treasure those nine days with him from the beginning of him entering the hospital until he passed. Thank God Covid was two months away I agree, talk to your loved ones! It's hard. It made planning the arrangements so much easier. I had very few decisions to make. We discussed cremation or burial, where to have the services, where he would be buried, and that we preferred memorials to flowers. We even discussed where he'd like memorials directed. |
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