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Post by freecharlie on Mar 31, 2022 22:20:45 GMT
My parents and my inlaws were friendly and talked at the kids' events but didn't socialize unless it was around an event.
My parents didn't really like my FIL but did like my MIL
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,527
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Mar 31, 2022 23:01:51 GMT
I really like my daughter's in-laws. They are so nice to my daughter and they have been wonderful supportive parents to their own kids. We are goofballs in comparison to them. The dad has a pretty high profile job in semi-large city. They are people we enjoy being around. We live about 90 minutes away from them. Our kids live very far away and will for several more years because they are in the military. No grandkids yet, so we'll see how it all shakes out.
Daughter #2 is 19 and has had the same boyfriend for 2+ years. His family has a cabin a very short distance from ours. We have a drinking buddies relationship with them. We are all goofballs. They are also really nice to my daughter.
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Post by MissBianca on Mar 31, 2022 23:22:59 GMT
I’m not there yet but DD21 has a serious girlfriend and they will probably get married. Her moms ok, a bit of a religious zealot but we just don’t discuss religion. The dad however, we almost had to take a restraining order out on him when DS and GF moved in together. He harassed them, took her car, etc. None of his girls talk to him except the one that still lives at home and she will probably move in with her mom soon. We do have all the sisters over for dinner on occasion but haven’t really spent much time with the mom.
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Post by peasapie on Mar 31, 2022 23:37:12 GMT
My son’s in-laws are originally from Ukraine. They’re culturally very different from us in some ways, and we enjoy learning about their traditions, as they do ours.
My daughter’s in-laws are divorced for many years and get along well with each other. I’m also divorced and remarried, so birthdays usually involve lots of grandparents and step grandparents. Although daughter’s MIL was a little weird during the wedding planning, everyone has adjusted over time and we enjoy the gatherings.
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sueg
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,113
Location: Munich
Member is Online
Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Apr 1, 2022 6:53:54 GMT
We knew our older DS's in-laws before he began dating their daughter. They have a younger son who was at the same school as my boys, in the year level between them. All three were in band, so we knew each other through concerts and competitions. A bit later on, they came together at the local church youth group, and were the main musicians for youth Masses. Before we left Australia, we lived in nearby suburbs and met for dinner fairly regularly. After DS and DDiL became engaged, we started inviting them for dinner on Christmas Eve each year. Now, we are half a world away, so we don't see them as often, but I make a point to try to catch up each time we are back. Our most recent visit (just returned last weekend), we only saw DDiL's dad, as her mum had a stroke a month or two back, and is still in a rehab facility, with limited visitors. She is going to have to move into assisted living soon, so I don't know how that will affect seeing her in the future. From what DS has told us, she has limited communication due to the stroke (aphasia) and very limited mobility.
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camcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,987
Jun 26, 2014 3:41:19 GMT
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Post by camcas on Apr 1, 2022 7:54:38 GMT
Only my older DS has in-laws- they live in another country and English is not their first language.They have a different religion and culture. Their daughter - my DIL - was born and grew up in New Zealand before moving to Australia so is a Kiwi and has a Kiwi accent ! I have only met her family via FaceTime but my DS has met in person. They love him so I am fine with that.
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mystydog
Junior Member
Posts: 94
Location: Ramsgate, UK
Jul 3, 2014 7:28:10 GMT
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Post by mystydog on Apr 1, 2022 8:49:11 GMT
Three of my sons have significant others.
One of them had a mum who unfortunately passed away about 10 years ago, she was lovely. They lived a few hundred miles away.
The other parents are lovely too. We all live in a 5 mile radius.
At Christmas, the boys that live close, all come to my house for dinner and the girls go to their parents.
Then usually the girls, who have been best friends since school, come to my house for the evening.
Everyone gets on great, there is no stress, although it seems strange to me that they don’t mind missing dinner with their partners.
Perhaps things will change when they have children.
On other holidays, we are in the uk, so don’t have Thanksgiving, they are usually together to visit both sets of parents for a few hours each.
This Mother’s Day, my boys took me for a meal and the girls took their Mothers for meals too.
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,598
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Apr 1, 2022 12:07:52 GMT
DD has been dating her boyfriend for 2.5 years. I will preface this to say she is a senior in high school and I'm not saying they will or they won't last (I know several kids that graduated with my son in 2020 that have been together since early high school and are still together). Anyways, I know his mom very well (she was a sub in the schools when our kids were in elementary). I've met his dad on a few occasions (parents are divorced). My husband and I get along with both.
DS has been dating his girlfriend since the end of the summer and I see the potential there for her to be the one. I have met her mom once. I invited her and the grandmother to Thanksgiving. We got along well. She move to AL not too long later. So not a lot of opportunities to visit.
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Post by Fidget on Apr 1, 2022 13:07:36 GMT
I have 2 sons, both married. DS#1 - his wife is one of 3 girls, I like his in laws and typically see them at kids birthdays, sporting events, band concerts and such. DS and DDIL rented a huge house for vacation several years ago, they went as did my LH and I and we got along fine. Other than this we don't socialize on a regular basis.
DS#2 - his wife is an only and his In-laws are divorced. Hi MIL is local, his FIL is on the other side of the country. That said - I invite his MIL to all of our family functions and Holiday dinners so that she can be with her only daughter. She does not always come as she does have sisters in the are that she sometimes spends her holidays with. We also see her at all of the Grandkids events.
To summarize - I get along fine with my sons in laws but we rarely socialize outside of events that put us in the same place.
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carhoch
Pearl Clutcher
Be yourself everybody else is already taken
Posts: 2,994
Location: We’re RV’s so It change all the time .
Jun 28, 2014 21:46:39 GMT
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Post by carhoch on Apr 1, 2022 15:43:27 GMT
My daughter in law’s family is a large clan that have a lot of get together and vacations and they have welcome us with open arms and now we celebrate holidays with them and sometimes join them at the beach .
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Post by ccookwood on Apr 1, 2022 16:25:48 GMT
I only have 1 child so this may differ. Her fiancé is youngest of 3. The fiancé’s brothers live out of town and his parents are divorced, mom is remarried. For everything but Christmas we have just invited his family over if my daughter and her fiancé are going to be in town. So far this has worked, they haven’t come every time we’ve asked. We comment on fb posts and occasionally trade texts
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Post by mayceesgranny on Apr 1, 2022 16:31:42 GMT
We have 3 adult children. 2 sets of in-laws live near us - one set we get along with and we celebrate the gks birthdays together. The other set has an overbearing mother and after an incident a few years ago we no longer celebrate anything together. The third set of in laws are divorced and live further away so we rarely deal with them.
We do usually survey our kids to find out what days we will celebrate together and we try to consider the in-laws as well. For example we will celebrate Easter on Saturday this year and the in-laws will all have Sunday.
We are lucky that everyone seems agreeable to scheduling and have had very few issues with who gets what day.
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Post by myboysnme on Apr 2, 2022 1:24:04 GMT
My son has in laws. They live locally and divorced just a year ago after 30 years and 8 kids, and his father in law remarried just days later. Sadly the contentious divorce resulted in some nasty business and his mother in law wrote some nasty things about son and his wife in a letter to the court regarding custody. In a nutshell she blamed her ex husband for poor parenting that resulted in their daughter hooking up with my highly unsuitable son,, because they lived together and had their daughter before they were married, and both are agnostic. Interestingly, MIL now lives with her new boyfriend.
That resulted in son and DIL refusing to have anything to do with MIL. They require her to apologize to them and she has not. As a result she has missed 2 years of her granddaughter's life and all of her new granddaughter's life. As for father in law, they do see him in short visits.
Now as for me, I have made an effort to help reconcile them with DIL's mom. I invited her to DIL's baby shower, and to help her feel comfortable, since ex's new wife was also invited, I gave her other daughter $100 to fly in from Florida to attend the shower with her. That went well but DIL refused o let her hold the new baby, because she is an anti vaxxer.
Since then they have agreed to her doing things with DGD1 who is 3 with me, like lunch and ice skating. DIL has accompanied us. I am working toward getting MIL to give them the apology they want. If possible, I would love for things to get to a point where MIL could provide some back up child care. Right now there is no one but me to watch the girls. But recently since DIL is communicating directly with her mother somewhat, I have stepped back.
Frankly, son's inlaws are nutters in their own way, and yet somehow the most wonderful daughter fell in love with my son and I love her too. So they have something going for them buried underneath a lot of ultra conservative evangelical religious judgemental craziness.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 2, 2022 1:47:35 GMT
My parents were not close with my in-laws at the time. They would be cordial at birthday parties though. They were about 10 years younger than my parents and they just didn't seem to have much in common.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 14, 2024 6:53:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2022 14:45:33 GMT
I'm not quite at that stage yet, but I hope that whatever in-laws we end up with will be people we can have good relationships with - more than just seeing on some events or holidays, but actually wanting to do some things together. I remember how different both of my sets of grandparents were, but they worked at finding things in common so they could be friends outside of the "family" event situations. My best memory is both of my grandfathers doing canoe/trail races together and us all cheering them on. <3
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Battleax
Shy Member
Posts: 23
Mar 16, 2021 3:56:40 GMT
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Post by Battleax on Apr 2, 2022 14:48:18 GMT
I have 2 adult children that are married or living with a SO. I don't know either set of inlaws.
One, the Mother told me off on the phone because of something my daughter told her. I've never met her.
The other set, I have met them casually once while doing something else. There was no "formal" introduction. The first time I saw her (my son's SO) father, no one bothered to even introduce me to him. I finally went up to him and introduced myself.
So I don't know them at all.
Neither of my adult children are speaking to me ATM.
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Post by rymeswithpurple on Apr 2, 2022 14:52:36 GMT
My parents always extended an invitation to my in-laws to holiday dinner, but they never took them up on it. It's not that they didn't get along, my in-laws just simply declined the offers.
My mother in law passed away a few years ago, but my mom has gone to lunch with my grandmother, father-in-law, and grandmother-in-law a few times in the past year or so. They live about 40 minutes apart. It gets everyone out of their houses for a bit, so I'm glad they're able to do that since my husband and I live four hours away.
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Post by fredfreddy44 on Apr 2, 2022 15:42:51 GMT
Our daughter has been in a serious relationship for 3 years, her son sees him as his dad now, and he really is. We have never met his parents and probably won't for a long time. They live 80 miles away and are the complete opposite of us, politically.
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Post by beaglemom on Apr 2, 2022 19:20:01 GMT
My parents are friendly with my inlaws. They don't socialize with them without us, but they send Christmas cards and the like. They only live 20 minutes away from each other. But my inlaws make no effort. My mom will invite them when they are having things, sometimes my inlaws show up? I'm also not a huge fan of my inlaws. My parents show up for a lot more of my kid's events than my inlaws do. My parents are also 10 years younger than my inlaws.
My parents are friendly with my sister's in-laws. They always have dinner with them when they are out visiting the east coast.
I hope that I will get along with all of my kid's SOs and their parents. I hate that I don't have a good relationship with my inlaws and that they are such crappy grandparents to my kids.
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paigepea
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on Apr 2, 2022 20:10:59 GMT
My parents and in laws get along nicely. They live 10 min from each other. We can do holidays, birthdays, and important grandchild events together. Sometimes my parents go to dinner with my in laws without us just to catch up. They are similar ages and have both lived in the same community for the last 50 / 60 years. They didn’t know each other before our wedding but they have friends in common.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Apr 3, 2022 15:12:36 GMT
We have never lived near extended family. And none of them live near each other. My parents never met my in-laws. DH didn’t meet my mom until we had been married 5 years and has never met my father. He wants to road trip to California after I retire so he can meet him. I haven’t seen my father since 1980.DS is continuing the tradition of my family. He’s never grown up near our extended family and has a long distance girlfriend who lives in NJ. She has come to stay with us so we’ve met her.
My grandparents socialized when my parents were married, not so much after they separated when I was four. I have pictures of them together at very chic 1960s parties.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Apr 3, 2022 21:21:00 GMT
My dd’s future in-laws live in our town, since dd has been dating fiancé since high school. We know them, but not well. We’ve been together a few times for various reasons over the years. They are nice enough but I don’t see us socializing or becoming close friends.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,060
Jul 4, 2014 6:57:02 GMT
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Post by AllieC on Apr 4, 2022 6:49:41 GMT
My parents and in-laws used to get along fine but would only see each other very very occasionally. They lived 4 hours away from each other and my in-laws rarely travelled.
With my daughter (she is nearly 25 and her partner a year older) we have a really good relationship with his parents. We all live within 10 minutes of each other so see them at all birthday occasions etc. I don't have any other family here so they have been lovely including us in things like Mothers Day lunches etc when I couldn't go home or after our parents all passed away. They've also included us in family Christmas celebrations and now that we share our darling Nellie this will be lovely going forward. We've all gone away for a couple of family weekends too and have really enjoyed them.
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