If you are overweight/obese, are your kids too?

I was but my son was average weigh in high school then he lost 25-30 lbs and is very lean now. He wears a size L but his bones stick out. 

I'm still obese according to the doctor (5'8" and down to 190lb from a highclose to 250) - Dh was overweight, maybe obese but is now 'normal' weight. We're both diabetic.

DS is tall and solid - he was obese as a young adult (college age) but lost nearly 100lbs before enlisting. He's on the upper end of the weight range for his height (as far as the military is concerned) but isn't on a weight profile. He was a big baby/toddler - was underweight as a young child, and then on the pudgy side as a tween/teen.

DD21 - was failure to thrive as a baby/toddler and super tiny until puberty. She's solid now - her BMI is in the overweight range but she's got a decent amount of muscle. She probably has PCOS

DD15 - was a big baby/toddler and always near the top of the growth charts - she's also pretty solid - her weight is at the upper end of 'normal' for her height.

We've always focused on healthy eating habits/being active rather than focusing on weight - we come from sturdy peasant stock as far as inherited body shape (and all of us are heavier than we look)- and insulin resistance/PCOS/diabetes run in the family.


As for my parents - my mum was always on a diet - when she moved out of her parents house, her mum gave her a dessert cookbook inscribed to Jean who is always dieting - and even in her 80's she wanted to lose just five more lbs. Dad was heavy - probably borderline obese when I was a young child but lost weight after his diabetes dx when I was 8. My older sister (different mum) has always been slender, my younger sister was also...and I've always been heavy - they put me on a diet at 3

Both of my parents were overweight due to poor eating habits. I didn't gain weight until after my 2nd child and have struggled ever since, could stand to lose about 50lbs. Luckily neither of my kids have this issue. My son (26) is a string bean, we have always had trouble finding pants with a small enough waist and long enough to fit his 6'4". My dd is the shortest one in our family but has never been bigger than a size 4. Both of them are very health conscious

Both of my parents were overweight but not obese. Dad likes his beer and snacks too much. He stays active but not enough to counter his snacking habits. My sister is morbidly obese. She looked more like my dad's sister and mom than she did my mom's side so there's some family genetics at play here. My aunt was obese and her daughter is too. Some of it is poor diet. Some of it is PCOS.

I've always been the skinny one. Right now I'm considered overweight but only by 10-15 pounds. As soon as I cut back on the wine and start walking more again, I'll drop some of it and the Dr won't say a thing about my weight.

Ex was lean but had a mom who was slightly overweight (kinda like how I am now, no where near obese) and two sisters who are overweight. In his 20's, he stayed within ideal weight range. Then he started drinking more and wouldn't eat healthier food. Then he met his wife. They're now both very overweight. Our kids were always skinny. Now our oldest looks just like his dad and is going down the same path. He's putting on some weight. If he keeps it up, he'll be overweight like his dad. The youngest is my mini me and is very lean. He likes his junk food but he also eats a more balanced diet.

DH is lean, much like his parents. The only overweight people in his family married in or has a health condition that makes it hard to lose weight.

Apparently I’m considered overweight according to my last dr appt (I’m a size 4-6, yes I could stand to lose 10lbs but those charts are seriously f’d up). Dh is obese. Ods is normal weight, not sure of his bmi but he wears a medium with a 32 waist. Yds is underweight due to picky eating. We could eat better without a doubt, but I also feel that quantity is key….just because I cook pasta with dinner doesn’t mean you should have 4 scoops, 1 will do. I worry more about yds than I do ods, he will pig out on something he likes and we allow it because he needs the calories but that will catch up with him at some point.

Dh and I are both currently overweight but haven’t always been so. Our oldest has more of a stocky build but looks healthy. The second is 16 and was overweight for a few years when younger but has thinned out in high school and is very conscious of what he is eating now. The younger two have leaner builds than the older two.

My mom has always been thin and hasn’t fluctuated in weight until gaining 5-10ths after menopause. My dad died at 54 and was overweight as long as I could remember. I have twin brothers who are thin and fit and have never fluctuated in weight. I seem to take more after my dad in regards to health issues. I have a few cousins who are slightly overweight but otherwise nobody in my biological extended family on my mom or dads side are overweight. I could see my older two struggling with weight as they get older and that they will need to be careful of their food and activity. I’m not sure about the younger two yet. Time will tell for all of them.

My parents were divorced and my dad and stepmom have four kids (currently ages 21-31). The oldest and the youngest look healthy (no idea what they weigh) but the middle two (boy and girl) have been overweight since they were very young. My brother is extremely overweight and I worry about his health a lot. My stepmom has always been thin.

I think that whether kids and/or parents are overweight can vary, but do find that I notice a lot of families in public where they all seem to have similar body types—could be thin or overweight. It seems that it is partly genetics, partly environment.

Hello, twin sister from different but eerily similar mothers. 

Boomer Catholic moms? 😂

I am overweight, was morbidly obese at one point, but have been doing IF for almost 4 years and have taken off most of it. My husband is obese. Our oldest is overweight, she is working on it, our middle is tall and thin, our youngest is overweight, but not obese.

I'm not sure my mom was naturally obsessed with weight, but my paternal grandmother (and my dad) made very clear their disapproval of fat people (roughly defined as any woman larger than a toothpick). I think my mom felt like she had to try to keep me thin to meet their expectations.

My dad grew to be much less judgmental in general later in life. 

To this day, my mom comments on my weight, and obsesses about her own. She's 87.  

I'm not overweight, have never been overweight, my husband is a string bean, and has lost a lot of muscle since his Parkinson's diagnosis.  Of our four kids, only our oldest son is overweight, and it's completely beholden upon his lifestyle of wine, women, and song lol.  Of our four kids, only one is interested in fitness.  I have always been a fitness person, and my husband and I continue to lift weights and are extremely active into our late 50s/early 60s. 

I am overweight to obese and my husband was but he recently lost 35 to 40 pounds. My adult son is very thin and always has been and my adult daughter is at a healthy weight and she really keeps an eye on her weight. If she starts to gain she cuts back on some junk to lose it.

My mom was a healthy weight but My dad was obese and so were 2 of his 4 siblings and most of my cousins are obese.

I really wish the people of that generation could understand the harm they caused, being so obsessed with other people's weight. I swear my grandmother never saw me without commenting on my weight first thing, even when I was a child. It got to where I would crash diet every year before her annual visit. My mom simply steered me away from cute, youth-appropriate clothes to find stuff that would "hide that belly" or "cover your thighs." I got the message loud and clear - I didn't deserve cute clothes unless/until I could make myself thin. Every shopping trip ended in tears.

Anyway - to answer the OP. MYOB. What you see as terrible eating habits may be self-medication for depression or rebelling against years of hearing other people comment about what they should/shouldn't eat. Literally zero people are actually concerned about someone else's health in those cases. People who comment on others' weight are either (a) trying to feel superior about their own body or (b) projecting their own insecurities onto others or (c) just giant assholes who feel like the world owes them an aesthetically pleasing experience, based on their own ideas of what looks good or doesn't. Knock it off and mind your business.

Yes. Sorry. When I first responded I decided to simply state my experience without commentary. And then, well, the filter slipped.

To the OP, probably you're not actually a giant asshole, but I'd urge you to carefully consider your motivation in having any interest in this friend's weight (or that of her daughter). Insofar as she has shared her feelings with you, consider offering only emotional support and not judgement about their eating habits - even here on this board, where presumably she would never see your comments. There is not an overweight person in the world who needs to hear anyone else's opinion about it. It's not motivational and it definitely doesn't come across as concern.