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Post by peasapie on Apr 26, 2022 12:17:58 GMT
Did your kids say they expect you to be at every.single.game? That seems unrealistic to the point where aI wonder if you are misunderstanding.
I spent years at my kids’ sports events. All of them. But my parents seldom attended, and I wouldn't expect them to.
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Post by rainangel on Apr 26, 2022 12:37:24 GMT
I attend my kid's soccer games occasionally, and have for years. I very rarely see grandparents at any of the games. And if I do, it's the same 3-4 grandparents who show up. My kid's grands have seen one or two games, and they've played for at least five years. But they spend a lot of time with them outside of games, so it's not a big deal when they don't attend games. Nobody elses grandparents are there either, so...
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,633
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Apr 26, 2022 12:57:27 GMT
My parents are both gone, and my husband’s parents are not as spry as they used to be. I have one kid left at home who plays softball and tennis and they try to come to at least one match and game per season.
My mother-in-law preferred the arts when my girls were little, so she never missed a dance recital or orchestra performance. And I think I’ve spoken here before about my father-in-law’s odd habit of cheering for the other team when he comes to sporting events. So I’m perfectly ok with one match or game per season. My girls have always been ok with that as well.
ETA: I do not think you should feel obligated to attend anything.
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Post by smasonnc on Apr 26, 2022 12:58:28 GMT
I mean, i think I would raise an eyebrow if the grandparents lived nearby, were healthy and mobile, and never came to anything at all, but there is a huge amount of space between “no games” and “every game.” This. I don't think it's necessary to go to every game, but go to some and show an interest. My inlaws lived right next to the soccer field where my daughter played a lot of matches. They could have walked there and the baseball field where my son played was 5 minutes away. They weren't into sports and they ate at a very specific time so they couldn't deviate from their routine. They never went to their sons' games either, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. That kind of self-centeredness bit them in the @$$ when their lack of interest in the grandkids was reciprocated. My kids got hosed in the grandparent department, but I'm trying to make up for it with my grandkids. I can't make every game, but I'll go when I can and I'll want to hear all about the ones I miss.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,017
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Apr 26, 2022 14:10:20 GMT
I have one grandchild. It will be a long time before I have another.
She is only 21 months old. I will go to her activities as long as they are close and fit my schedule. Also weather matters. I had to sit through crappy weather watching my kids play soccer. Not fun. I probably won't do it for a grandchild.
I don't think you should ever feel obligated to go.
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,050
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:10 GMT
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Post by artbabe on Apr 26, 2022 14:20:14 GMT
When my nephews were little I went to every single event. Only the little one did sports (flag football) but I went to all of the open houses, school carnivals, art shows, choir concerts, band concerts, plays, award presentations, high school graduation, etc. My dad (grandpa) went to most of them.
My youngest nephew is in middle school now and I admit that I miss an event now and then. The last band concert he told me repeatedly that I didn't have to go. I thought about skipping it (beginning band concerts are painful) but in the end decided to go. I found out later that he was telling his mom happily that "aunt artbabe will probably come see me". My sister made a point of telling me that. So I'm back to attending all of the events, I guess. Evidently it did matter to him. He starts baseball next week (first time playing organized sports since he was little) and I know I'll probably go to the majority of those games.
Grandpa doesn't usually go to events anymore but that is because he has difficulty walking. My nephew asked him to go to some of his baseball games and I know my dad will definitely go to some of those.
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Post by auntkelly on Apr 26, 2022 14:37:53 GMT
I'll probably be a fair weather fan when I have grandchildren.
Like so many others on this thread, I sat through many soccer games and baseball games in rotten weather when my own kids were playing. I don't think I'll be doing that when I become a grandparent. I'll probably come to a few games a year when the weather is nice. I'll also take cues from my grandkids. If it seems to be really important to them that I come to the games, I'll make an effort to be at more games. If they don't seem to care as much whether I'm there, I'll spend more time with them doing things we both really enjoy.
I think kids are pretty grandparent savvy. They know whether their grandparents love them. If they have a good relationship overall with their grandparents, that relationship isn't going to suffer just because the grandparents don't come to every single sporting event.
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Post by fotos4u2 on Apr 26, 2022 15:59:40 GMT
Thank you for that. I admit that I’ve been staying away from the board for the most part because lately it seems like I am on the wrong side of The majority of opinions posted here. <SNIP> Please don’t tell me that I am an “uninvolved” grandparent because I don’t put butt in seat at every single ball game and hockey game. My grandson knows how involved I have been in his life since he was very small. Next year after he gets his drivers license, we will be giving him a substantial amount of money to help him buy a car. We love and support our grandson, daughter and so -in-law in a way that works best for us. He is, without a doubt, one of the best things in our lives. How ever we can help and support him we will. But it won’t be by sitting in the bleachers at every single game and practice. Sorry. Not sorry. FWIW you sound a lot like my mom. I am her only child (parents divorced when I was in preschool) and so obviously my kids are her only grandkids and she's VERY involved but it's always been her choice if she wants to attend something. She was fully retired by the time most of mine became involved in activities so going to events was something to do with her day some days. I'm personally super grateful to her (and her husband who while I don't think of him as my stepfather, he is fully my kids grandfather and will inherit all his wealth someday!) for everything they've done for myself and my kids and now that my 3 are all adults they realize how great they have it with grandparents that obviously love and care about them so much.
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Post by giatocj on Apr 26, 2022 16:16:44 GMT
I try to attend one or two games for each sport for my grandson (just turned 7)...he plays them all. This Saturday is his baseball parade so we'll definitely go to that, but we live an hour away and sometimes, to be honest, we just don't feel like driving that far on a weekend morning.
We raised our older grandson, who is now 22, and never missed a hockey game or band concert. Different time, different situation.
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