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Post by librarylady on May 4, 2022 21:39:35 GMT
In 1979 I had my tubes tied. The physician who performed the surgery had my husband sign that he approved the surgery before it was done.
I felt insulted at the time, but didn't want to have a hissy fit over it. I have often wondered---If DH had wanted a vasectomy, would I have had to give permission?
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Post by greendragonlady on May 4, 2022 21:40:57 GMT
No, I'm sure you wouldn't have had to. Then or now.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,647 
Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on May 4, 2022 21:42:09 GMT
Nope.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on May 4, 2022 21:46:47 GMT
When my DH had his, the doctor asked if he had discussed it with his partner (this was before we were married). He was concerned that the doctor would have had an issue with my age and possibly wanting chiildren down the road so he just said he wasn't seeing anyone.
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Post by cade387 on May 4, 2022 21:47:48 GMT
I did not have to sign anything for my husband’s V this year. My 37yo sister who is not married, doesn’t want kids, and has horrible endometriosis has been having a hell of a time trying to have a hysterectomy because she might meet “the one” 🤦♀️
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Post by busy on May 4, 2022 21:51:57 GMT
Not surprised in the slightest. I have a colleague now who is 29, married and certain she does not want to have children. She can't find a doctor who will do a tubal ligation at her age. As if a woman can't know what they want. And this is in Oregon.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 22:51:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2022 21:57:18 GMT
When I had my tubes tied, I had to have two "counseling" sessions because I was divorced. They kept telling me I'll change my mind. Nope. There was a brief period where dh and I discussed our options but we agreed it would be better if we focused on the kids. We agreed if we wanted kids together, we'd adopt, maybe foster.
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Post by ~summer~ on May 4, 2022 21:59:27 GMT
Sometimes it seems our uterus is more important than ourselves.
My sister almost died in her first pregnancy - she had HELLP syndrome of which the only treatment is to deliver the baby. She was hemorrhaging and the medical team absolutely freaked out as they didn’t want to do a hysterectomy on a young female so they did everything but that. Thankfully it all worked out but I remember I thought that was so odd.
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Post by littlemama on May 4, 2022 22:04:32 GMT
I think I had to at least agree to dh's vasectomy. I dont recall now, 20 years later, if I had to sign off on it. I feel like I did. And I thought it was stupid. His body, his choice.
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Post by snugglebutter on May 4, 2022 22:07:38 GMT
I do know a few women who signed something for their husbands' vasectomies, but I think that is not as common.
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Post by ~summer~ on May 4, 2022 22:07:55 GMT
I definitely didn’t have to agree to or sign anything (or even talk to the doctor) when my husband had his vasectomy.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on May 4, 2022 22:08:55 GMT
FYI, if you are interested, there are plenty of guys on reddit saying they had trouble getting a vasectomy because of their young age or not having had kids. So no, it isn't just women.
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Post by librarylady on May 4, 2022 22:14:20 GMT
One of my older sisters married right out of HS, and promptly had 4 kids in 5 years. About the time she was pregnant with the 4th, BC was made available to the public. Her DH was in the military. She wanted her tubes tied and the military physicians would not do it because of the age of both my sister and her husband. She came home, spent the summer with our parents and our local family doctor performed the surgery. That was 1963. I have no idea if our family GP made her get permission or not.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,176
Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on May 4, 2022 22:14:25 GMT
I had to be present and sign prior to DH's Vasectomy in 1984.
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Post by mcjunkin on May 4, 2022 22:51:09 GMT
I’m pretty sure I had to consent to my husband’s vasectomy in 2008.
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Post by Darcy Collins on May 4, 2022 22:52:07 GMT
I had to sign something that we had discussed it for my husband's surgery in 2005. I'm not sure the process if I would have refused, or if it's tied to age etc. My husband was relatively young.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on May 4, 2022 22:58:09 GMT
You don't really think all those old white men have had or will have a vasectomy, do you?
Not likely. They pay off their mistakes...
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Post by Merge on May 4, 2022 23:19:41 GMT
FYI, if you are interested, there are plenty of guys on reddit saying they had trouble getting a vasectomy because of their young age or not having had kids. So no, it isn't just women. I’m not sure I’d consider “plenty of guys on Reddit” a credible source. Vasectomies are reversible. There’s no reason to deny one. |
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QueenoftheSloths
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Posts: 5,955
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on May 4, 2022 23:34:26 GMT
FYI, if you are interested, there are plenty of guys on reddit saying they had trouble getting a vasectomy because of their young age or not having had kids. So no, it isn't just women. I’m not sure I’d consider “plenty of guys on Reddit” a credible source. Vasectomies are reversible. There’s no reason to deny one. So guys on Reddit are less credible than women on 2peas? I wasn't citing Reddit as a scholarly source. I took 5 seconds to Google and read some results. And vasectomies are reversible, but some men are being denied them. Isn't that the equivalent of women being denied their choice of sterilization? |
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Post by ameslou on May 4, 2022 23:42:24 GMT
I think I had to give consent when DH had his in 2006, after the birth of our second kiddo. The vasectomy is the third best gift he's ever given me.
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Post by withapea on May 5, 2022 0:01:46 GMT
I didn’t have to say or sign anything when DH had is vasectomy although they repeatedly asked if he was sure. Our youngest was two weeks old. My kid’s partner had a vasectomy. We expected him to have issues getting one because he’s in his early 20’s with no kids but it wasn’t a problem. I’m sure some men have been turned away though.
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Post by kiera on May 5, 2022 0:03:12 GMT
Not surprised in the slightest. I have a colleague now who is 29, married and certain she does not want to have children. She can't find a doctor who will do a tubal ligation at her age. As if a woman can't know what they want. And this is in Oregon. The childfree subreddit has a massive list of doctors - have her take a look, if she hasn't already. This is Oregon's section: www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors_part_three#wiki_oregon |
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Post by kiera on May 5, 2022 0:04:15 GMT
Unfortunately not much has changed. A LOT of doctors still ask if a man gave permission for the operation to be performed, or "what if you meet someone who wants a baby," etc. It's bullshit. Tides are turning, thankfully, but not quickly enough.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 1, 2024 22:51:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2022 0:44:45 GMT
I guess when you're older, nothing is questioned?? In 2012, DH didn't have to agree/sign ANYTHING regarding my hysterectomy.
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Post by voltagain on May 5, 2022 0:49:25 GMT
In 1979 I had my tubes tied. The physician who performed the surgery had my husband sign that he approved the surgery before it was done.
I felt insulted at the time, but didn't want to have a hissy fit over it. I have often wondered---If DH had wanted a vasectomy, would I have had to give permission?
I did not have to give permission for my dh in 1985 but the doctor tried really really hard to talk him out of it because of his age. Even sent him home to think about it and wait at least a month before scheduling the actual surgery. I had wanted to have my tubes tied when my second one was born but the night he was born (in a tiny country hospital) They had 5 newly delivered mamas and 7 babies in a maternity ward designed to hold 3 mama and 4 babies. My baby and I were sent home less than 12 hours after his birth because it was my 2nd child so I would have a better idea if something wasn't right AND I only live about 1/2 mile from the hospitals. The others were all first time mommies that lived out 10-50 miles. Of course that made it hard for me to get back for surgery later because I didn't have help with two babies at home (oldest was 22 months) Baby 3 was born at a Catholic hospital (we had moved) so now I had 3 kids under age 4 and no tubal. Missed my cycle (the only time I had ever missed was due to pregnancy) I about lost my mind when his doc didn't want to to a v on him because of his age. Some friends of ours with 2 sets of twins (4 kids) UNDER the age of 2... and the doc didn't want to do him either because he was "too young" So, yeah, sometimes men get the don't do it lecture too but I've never heard anyone have to have a wife sign he could do it. |
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paget
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on May 5, 2022 0:54:38 GMT
I was 28 when I had my third dd. I asked my doctor (female) to tie my tubes after the birth and she refused in case I wanted another. I was super sick with all three pregnancies - I couldn’t have handled another pregnancy. I still wish my tubes were tied.
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,911
Location: Sacramento, Ca
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Post by gramma on May 5, 2022 1:19:50 GMT
In 1979 I had my tubes tied. The physician who performed the surgery had my husband sign that he approved the surgery before it was done.
I felt insulted at the time, but didn't want to have a hissy fit over it. I have often wondered---If DH had wanted a vasectomy, would I have had to give permission?
My husband and I were talking about this last night. I was stunned when I was told I needed his approval! |
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Post by wallyagain on May 5, 2022 1:58:03 GMT
DH had a vasectomy in 1989, I didn’t have to sign anything but the doctor really questioned him whether or not he should have it done as he was only 25. Fortunately, he was able to get it done. We had two kids and I could not have carried another one.
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mimima
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Stay Gold, Ponyboy
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Post by mimima on May 5, 2022 2:06:13 GMT
I signed for my Dh's vasectomy in the mid 90s
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Post by honeyb on May 5, 2022 2:27:57 GMT
I had to have a meeting with the doctor and sign off on my husband's vasectomy in 2012.
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