how would you feel

I'll agree with acathy...assuming she was young, 30 can seem pretty old! I wouldn't let it bother me for more than about 30 seconds.

Oh, that stings. I've never been asked if I'm the grandma, but I have been asked if I was pregnant when I wasn't! I decided to never wear that shirt again and worked on my tummy some more.

I had my child at 38, so I know what you mean about not looking like a Grandmother. But the reality is you could be, even if you don't feel like it. Maybe the car hop has a cute Grandma.

I think those having babies in late teens get asked if they're old enough to be a mom, or told they look like a baby themselves. Doesn't sound offensive to me, but if I was 19 and struggling to make house payment and raise an infant I'd be humiliated, or angry. And probably wish if waited!

I speak from experience- remind yourself of all you got to do before you became a parent and let it roll off your back.
And if that doesn't work, remind yourself you don't need to be hurt by personal remarks from someone delivering drinks on skates - snark.

I'm expecting that one day. I was 37 when I had YDS. If I stop coloring my hair, I can see where that assumption would be made, especially by a teen/young adult. My cousin, who is a year younger than me, has a grandson one year younger than my YDS. I am an older mom. She's a very young grandma --39 with a 2 year old grandson.

I'd probably have to treat myself to a trip to Ulta or a new haircut the first time it happens. I know it will eventually. But, it will still sting just a bit the first time.

My DH is almost four years older than me but people frequently refer to me as his daughter. He has a lot of gray in his beard so he does look older, but I don't think I look like a twentysomething so I don't see it.


My brother was 15 years older than me and people assumed he was my dad because we looked just alike.


A dad in my school is old enough to be his child's grandfather and then some. I'm sure he gets called grandpa a lot.

People make errors sometimes - it's not meant to be personal.

That DID happen to me, and I didn't like it one bit. I had my second child, my son, when I was 37. When he was just a toddler in a stroller, I was shopping in a department store, and an older woman (who was probably a grandmother herself--so, not a teenager) asked me if he was my grandson. I felt very hurt (and since I'm still remembering the incident more than 30 years later, you can see that it stung). Later, I tried to rationalize that maybe she had just had a new grandchild herself and thought I was a "colleague." But that didn't help me feel any better. So I really sympathize with you.

I just don't understand why a cashier noticing that you were a regular would make you uncomfortable enough to stop shopping there.

My old boss stuck her mouth in her foot badly one day. My Mom and sister came by for some reason or other and she asked me if it was my Grandma and Mom. I was 18, sister was 23, Mom wasn't quite 50 although she had stopped coloring her hair by then so it was 98% gray/white. Mom said, no I'm Mom, this is her sister. My poor boss stammered, blushed and apologized. I teased her about it for a couple years. Damn, I miss that woman. She was possibly the best boss I had.

What bugs me is when I don't get carded. I'm not over 40 and I sure as hell do not look over 40! 

When I worked retail in a mall department store I definitely noticed habits of regulars.    I promise I wasn't stalking them or keeping a spreadsheet or anything.  

Some of them came so often over the years that some of the other employees would memorize their phone numbers. (We kept a tablet with requests for merchandise, and we'd call you when it came in.  So the girls who waited on people who made frequent requests wound up calling them quite often.)  I can barely remember my SSN, though, so I always had to get their number from the tablet.  


Eventually some of them would even have lunch with some of the ladies.  And several employees attended the viewing of a customer who passed away.  It was like losing an old friend.   She'd come in even if she didn't want to buy anything just to talk.


And we definitely knew the routines of the "walkers", because they tended to be there every single day.




And the cashiers at the regular local grocery stores, they absolutely know me & my family.  



I'm sorry it made you feel uncomfortable, but I do think it's pretty common for anyone working with the public to notice and remember things about regular customers.

I had my kids at 36 & 38 and have had that happen to me a couple of times. It didn't really bother me. The people asking probably had young grandparents themselves.

My BFF got asked if her DH was her son. Granted her DD's are 12 and 14 and her DH is 25 and she's 40, but still.

She was fuming! The rest of us laughed!