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Post by chances on Oct 11, 2022 6:41:10 GMT
I’ve only recently started to think about what the contract (?) of marriage really entails. Curious what surprises or information you have noticed about legal pros and cons of being married.
My best friend is utterly against marriage bc of the loss of autonomy. For example she said it’s not possible for a spouse to steal your car (for example). Even if I paid for it, property is now joint, the police aren’t coming for a spouse taking another spouses car.
Not sure if that’s true. But as many of you have been married, I’m curious what surprises, obligations, benefits or downsides you’ve encountered legally.
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Post by lisae on Oct 11, 2022 11:37:35 GMT
If she is worried about the person she wants to marry stealing her car, she is probably wise to avoid the altar. She should probably steer clear of him altogether.
In NC you can not cut your spouse out of your will. This is not an issue for me but I know a man who tried to by making a will that left his wife nothing. When his wife found out his plans, she divorced him first. You don't have to leave your spouse everything but they must inherit at least half I think. The only way this would be enforceable though would be a lawsuit after the deceased passed.
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Post by peasapie on Oct 11, 2022 11:45:18 GMT
The benefit for me personally was that I was legally entitled to half of everything we accrued during the marriage when we divorced, including his pension. Now, had we accrued a ton of debt, I would have been legally responsible for THAT, so it does cut both ways.
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Post by chances on Oct 11, 2022 13:03:08 GMT
If she is worried about the person she wants to marry stealing her car, she is probably wise to avoid the altar. She should probably steer clear of him altogether. In NC you can not cut your spouse out of your will. This is not an issue for me but I know a man who tried to by making a will that left his wife nothing. When his wife found out his plans, she divorced him first. You don't have to leave your spouse everything but they must inherit at least half I think. The only way this would be enforceable though would be a lawsuit after the deceased passed. It was more a random example that came up in conversation. *I* didn’t realize pre-marriage property could no loner be just yours 😆 |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 11, 2022 13:18:37 GMT
I think a lot depends on the laws in a person’s particular state. Someone with those questions would probably get better answers from a legal professional familiar with the specific laws in their state. In some states even if a couple isn’t formally married but have been together for a long time, it’s considered a common law marriage.
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,934 
Location: Colorado
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Post by snyder on Oct 11, 2022 13:29:51 GMT
Federal taxes are usually higher for a married couple because you combine two incomes together and could land in a higher tax bracket.
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Post by paulao on Oct 11, 2022 13:34:13 GMT
I think a lot depends on the laws in a person’s particular state. Someone with those questions would probably get better answers from a legal professional familiar with the specific laws in their state. In some states even if a couple isn’t formally married but have been together for a long time, it’s considered a common law marriage. Very few states recognize common law marriage, and even if they do, paperwork must be filled out and it must go through a legal process. Common law marriage doesn’t happen because two people have been living together. |
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Post by Horse scrap on Oct 11, 2022 13:41:59 GMT
While I am still legally married, we have been separated and lived separate for 3 yrs. I carry the health insurance and he is retired, so since we get along and are friendly, we haven't divorced because I don't want to see him without health ins. until he turns 65 and can get medicare and a supplement. Even then, we will weigh the costs of those programs vs my insurance cost. If it is more cost effective to keep him on my insurance a little longer, I'm ok with staying legally married.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 11, 2022 13:46:47 GMT
I think a lot depends on the laws in a person’s particular state. Someone with those questions would probably get better answers from a legal professional familiar with the specific laws in their state. In some states even if a couple isn’t formally married but have been together for a long time, it’s considered a common law marriage. Very few states recognize common law marriage, and even if they do, paperwork must be filled out and it must go through a legal process. Common law marriage doesn’t happen because two people have been living together. A quick Google search brought up this website that says it is recognized at least in some capacity in 15 states plus the District of Columbia. I wouldn’t call that “very few” states, it’s just a little less than a third. www.sterlinglawyers.com/divorce/common-law-marriage-states/And these are the criteria required in states that do recognize it: |
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Post by katlady on Oct 11, 2022 14:05:08 GMT
Federal taxes are usually higher for a married couple because you combine two incomes together and could land in a higher tax bracket. The actual rate though for a single person is higher than filing “Joint Married”. The combined income may put you in a higher tax bracket, but you would still pay more if you filed separately. There are exceptions of course, but this is just in general. In California, premarital property is yours but what happens to that property after marriage can become joint. For example, you put money into the property after marriage, or even if you move into that property together. The value will be calculated both pre and post marriage if you get divorced. And California does not recognize common law marriages. |
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Oct 11, 2022 14:16:03 GMT
In California, premarital property is yours but what happens to that property after marriage can become joint. For example, you put money into the property after marriage, or even if you move into that property together. The value will be calculated both pre and post marriage if you get divorced. Same for Texas. Although Texas does recognize common law marriage. |
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,934
Location: Colorado
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Post by snyder on Oct 11, 2022 14:22:25 GMT
Federal taxes are usually higher for a married couple because you combine two incomes together and could land in a higher tax bracket. The combined income may put you in a higher tax bracket, but you would still pay more if you filed separately. There are exceptions of course, but this is just in general. In California, premarital property is yours but what happens to that property after marriage can become joint. For example, you put money into the property after marriage, or even if you move into that property together. The value will be calculated both pre and post marriage if you get divorced. And California does not recognize common law marriages. That's not necessarily true any more.
Here is a good site that explains it quite well.
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,759
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Oct 11, 2022 14:34:08 GMT
Your spouse is recognised as your next of kin and will be the one to make medical decisions if you are unable to.
There was a documentary here of a guy who got very very unwell, he and his girlfriend were not married, his mother was the decision maker with all his medical care including the amputations that he needed to survive.
It was the same for gay couples before marriage was legally recognised, so many stories of families throwing the life long partner out off the hospital room and all decision making.
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Post by femalebusiness on Oct 11, 2022 14:43:20 GMT
There are pros and cons to marriage. It is a contract. The biggest con is a poor choice for a spouse, marrying someone way too quickly before you know who they really are and ignoring red flags.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Oct 11, 2022 15:03:11 GMT
It’s always important to have a will, but even more so if a couple is living together, own property and/or have children. Dying without a will, or dying intestate, means that your assets won't necessarily end up where you want them to. Each state has its own intestate succession laws. Usually the spouse is first, then children and parents. This could shut out domestic partners in some cases.
I believe everyone in a relationship, be it marriage or not, should utilize financial and legal professionals to protect your assets during your lifetime and after. It will be money well spent.
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Post by malibou on Oct 11, 2022 16:05:37 GMT
Inheritance can be tricky. Typically if one party inherits, it is solely there's to do with what they want, however if you co-mingle any of it, it all becomes part of the estate. So if you inherit a million dollars from your great aunt, it's yours alone, until you do something like use a portion to replace a broken water heater.
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mamapeaah
Full Member
Posts: 325
Sept 30, 2021 4:39:02 GMT
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Post by mamapeaah on Oct 11, 2022 16:07:56 GMT
You can change your name to Princess Consuela Bananahammock
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Post by busy on Oct 11, 2022 16:41:49 GMT
*I* didn’t realize pre-marriage property could no loner be just yours 😆 That's not necessarily true. Laws vary from state to state but many times, if you owned something before marriage and you didn't use joint funds to maintain it or whatever, you can maintain individual ownership. Likewise if funds are held individually and not commingled with joint funds. I think the two main legal benefits of marriage are 1. if it ends, there are guidelines to protect both parties that are in effect even if the parties don't do anything to specifically to protect themselves individually. 2. ability to make healthcare decisions, etc as next of kin |
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Post by lucyg on Oct 11, 2022 19:03:52 GMT
I am the widow of a law enforcement officer who was murdered in the line of duty. I get a pension from his agency.
I know another police line-of-duty widow, er, “widow,” who received nothing because it turned out they never actually got married. She got some benefits for her kids when they were still minors, but there was nothing just for her after they aged out.
That was a generation ago, though. Maybe the right to survivor benefits has expanded in that time, I don’t know.
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Post by Mel on Oct 11, 2022 19:15:43 GMT
Your spouse is recognised as your next of kin and will be the one to make medical decisions if you are unable to. There was a documentary here of a guy who got very very unwell, he and his girlfriend were not married, his mother was the decision maker with all his medical care including the amputations that he needed to survive. I have been with my SO for a little over 7 yrs now. In our first year together, he had a medical emergency. We decided then that we'd sign the appropriate papers to be one another's medical POA. That doesn't extend outside of medical decisions though. |
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Post by busy on Oct 11, 2022 19:58:51 GMT
I am the widow of a law enforcement officer who was murdered in the line of duty. I get a pension from his agency. I know another police line-of-duty widow, er, “widow,” who received nothing because it turned out they never actually got married. She got some benefits for her kids when they were still minors, but there was nothing just for her after they aged out. That was a generation ago, though. Maybe the right to survivor benefits has expanded in that time, I don’t know. I have a pension from my time in banking and I could only designate a spouse or child to be beneficiary if I die before payments start. I’ve only been out of the company for five years. |
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 11, 2022 20:27:57 GMT
One of my good friends got married for second time about 5 years ago (we went to the wedding in Kauai) - she has 3 kids and he has 3 kids (all in college).
He is a lawyer and makes good money, has a fancy house etc. However - he also has a spending problem. His kids are all in private schools (one even at Harvard) and he constantly buys very expensive things - motorcycles, horses etc. so basically is spending more than he makes.
She actually would like to leave him but half his debt he acquired during the marriage will now be hers! She hasn’t even been living with him. It is such a messy unfortunate situation.
I mean I’ve always thought about assets acquired during marriage being split in half - but never really thought about the debt.
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Post by papersilly on Oct 11, 2022 20:37:45 GMT
depending on the state, Pro, you get half. con, you lose half.
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Post by chances on Oct 11, 2022 23:58:29 GMT
I am the widow of a law enforcement officer who was murdered in the line of duty. I get a pension from his agency. I know another police line-of-duty widow, er, “widow,” who received nothing because it turned out they never actually got married. She got some benefits for her kids when they were still minors, but there was nothing just for her after they aged out. That was a generation ago, though. Maybe the right to survivor benefits has expanded in that time, I don’t know. I have a pension from my time in banking and I could only designate a spouse or child to be beneficiary if I die before payments start. I’ve only been out of the company for five years. So if you were taking care of an elderly parent or someone other than a child, no exceptions? |
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Post by busy on Oct 12, 2022 0:04:34 GMT
I have a pension from my time in banking and I could only designate a spouse or child to be beneficiary if I die before payments start. I’ve only been out of the company for five years. So if you were taking care of an elderly parent or someone other than a child, no exceptions? With my pension, no. No exceptions. Wait, I take that back. I do believe you could designate a trust. So that would be a way around it. |
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Post by chances on Oct 12, 2022 0:04:43 GMT
One of my good friends got married for second time about 5 years ago (we went to the wedding in Kauai) - she has 3 kids and he has 3 kids (all in college). He is a lawyer and makes good money, has a fancy house etc. However - he also has a spending problem. His kids are all in private schools (one even at Harvard) and he constantly buys very expensive things - motorcycles, horses etc. so basically is spending more than he makes. She actually would like to leave him but half his debt he acquired during the marriage will now be hers! She hasn’t even been living with him. It is such a messy unfortunate situation. I mean I’ve always thought about assets acquired during marriage being split in half - but never really thought about the debt. Eeek! That is scary. Especially if they hide it from you. |
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 12, 2022 0:32:11 GMT
Well, when I decided to divorce xh, being married kept him from pulling a bunch of shit with our money and belongings
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Post by AussieMeg on Oct 12, 2022 1:27:02 GMT
Federal taxes are usually higher for a married couple because you combine two incomes together and could land in a higher tax bracket. I have no idea how it words in the US. Here in Australia, it make no difference whether you are married or just living together - you have to report your spouse/partner's taxable income on your tax return, and your joint income is what determines whether you have to pay things like a Medicare levy etc. In fact, the tax return doesn't even mention the word "spouse". It simply says "Did you have a partner in the tax year 2021/2023?" and "What was your partner's taxable income?" |
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Post by Lexica on Oct 12, 2022 2:40:13 GMT
Your spouse is recognised as your next of kin and will be the one to make medical decisions if you are unable to. There was a documentary here of a guy who got very very unwell, he and his girlfriend were not married, his mother was the decision maker with all his medical care including the amputations that he needed to survive. It was the same for gay couples before marriage was legally recognised, so many stories of families throwing the life long partner out off the hospital room and all decision making. My son and his long-time fiancé do not want to get married. I mentioned what you posted about - making health-related decisions for each other. I told my son that he can be sure that I would consult his fiancé if I was to be the one to have to make decisions, but if his father was to be included or in the event I was no longer alive and it was all him, he would not consider any input from his fiancé. He would also claim any money if my son died with no will. He knows I will do the right thing by her, but we know his father will not. I recommended speaking with a lawyer to draw up any papers necessary to give each other the protections and rights of a married couple. It would probably be easier and more cost effective to just have a quiet wedding at city hall to gain those protections. They are thinking about it. |
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,934
Location: Colorado
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Post by snyder on Oct 12, 2022 3:21:29 GMT
Federal taxes are usually higher for a married couple because you combine two incomes together and could land in a higher tax bracket. I have no idea how it words in the US. Here in Australia, it make no difference whether you are married or just living together - you have to report your spouse/partner's taxable income on your tax return, and your joint income is what determines whether you have to pay things like a Medicare levy etc. In fact, the tax return doesn't even mention the word "spouse". It simply says "Did you have a partner in the tax year 2021/2023?" and "What was your partner's taxable income?" That's interesting. Do you think people are honest about it? I don't think they would be honest about it here; especially if it meant you would pay more taxes. If it was flat tax, then no big deal. |
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