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Post by flanz on Nov 17, 2022 2:33:25 GMT
Im confused as to how she had a feeding tube in the hospital and lost weight. When my ds was in NICU, he had an IV, not a feeding tube and he gained weight. We were told that was the norm for a baby on an IV. I would think with a feeding tube it would be the same or more of a gain. Thanks. I may be wrong re: the feeding tube. Baby was on a respirator and couldn't eat orally. She did have an I.V. but I didn't think they could feed her that way.... just maybe give her glucose? I'm uninformed on the subject. She def. went from 6-11 to 6-5 in 3 days. monklady123 - I wasn't able to nurse my kids, and hadn't heard about hind milk before. I know that DD was pumping for longer after speaking with the lactation consultant... prob. to get the hind milk. leftturnonly - That must have been so scary. ((( hugs )))
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Post by flanz on Nov 17, 2022 2:34:54 GMT
I was 5’ tall until I was measured properly and am 5’1” but there is no difference in one inch. My son swallowed mecomium too and had to be suctioned. I found out years later because no one would tell me anything at the time. I'm glad your son's lungs were able to be cleared by the suctioning alone. Our granddaughter had to be whisked away to the NICU immediately after birth and was there for 3 days. We feel fortunate as well, as some kids go home from the hospital with oxygen tanks.
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Post by flanz on Nov 17, 2022 2:39:40 GMT
((((Hugs)))) I would take the lead from her doctor as far as worrying goes. A bit different scenario here as mine was 8lb 4 at birth and gained fine until about 6m when she hit 20lbs - and started to crawl....and was still 20lbs at 2yrs. She was failure to thrive and was the tiny one in her class all through elementary school. She's 22 now and 5'3.5" and sturdy. For her it was a combination of a high metabolism, being very active (she walked at 9m), and sensory/texture issues that impacted eating and a milk/soy allergy. She nursed until she was 4yr - in part because it was the one guaranteed source of nutrition ....she was that kid who WOULD (and did) starve herself rather than eat something she didn't want to. I think FAILURE TO THRIVE is a horrible phrase and should be banned from use by medical personnel. Those words cause so very much anxiety and feelings of guilt, and I have read they are often used inappropriately. I'm sorry you had to cope with what I imagine was a lot of stress. Did your daughter always seem healthy to you despite her low weight?
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Post by flanz on Nov 17, 2022 2:42:22 GMT
My friend's daughter was so tiny at birth. By two, she was 16 pounds and they went to several doctors. One dr. told her people come in all different sizes and they usually end up just fine (healthy) and to stop worrying. The other dr.s said to do so many things to get her gain weight. She was always a little small up until high school and then poof! She fit right in with all of the varying body sizes and today is a very average sized young lady at 25. You would never know the stress her mom felt when she was a baby. I have to chuckle because my son was almost double her weight at a year old. He too, is now very average for a guy. Such different growth rates and both kids turned out to be healthy. This is really reassuring. Thanks.
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Post by flanz on Nov 17, 2022 2:46:11 GMT
MANY MANY THANKS TO EACH OF YOU WHO ARE SHARING HERE. Sharing your experiences is an invaluable gift to me.
I apologize that I can't respond to each of you, but you are each very much appreciated! xoxoxo
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 17, 2022 2:53:22 GMT
I had a teeny tiny preemie and a 2nd preemie who was a bit bigger, but still a preemie. Both kids are healthy, happy well, fed adults. I couldn't breast feed, despite trying everything. A great mother is not determined by her breast milk. If your little one needs formula that's just fine. If she's alert when she's awake and the doctor isn't concerned then it's all good. You're gonna have a happy, playful granddaughter. Give it time.
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Post by twinks on Nov 17, 2022 3:20:36 GMT
Unknown to me until my DD was 18 months old, our pediatrician diagnosed her as a “failure to thrive” baby at birth and the discharge instructions were to “take her home and love her” because he didn’t think she would “live past a year old.” DD took a lot of work to feed. I pumped and supplemented with formula. She also would fall asleep eating and no get very much. Per a wonderful nurse midwife/lactation specialist, I fed my DD every 2.5 hours around the clock. If she woke up and cried at night, she would be too worn out to fed very much. I found it better to set my alarm to feed her at night. I did this until she gave up the bottle at about 18 months old. Then she ate 4 meals a day and many times would wake up at 2am. But she was always on the charts within the normal range for height and weight. She was always slightly below in weight. I changed pediatricians when DD was a year old as I wasn’t getting any information or support. I always heard “the range of norms is so great at this age” to any concern I had. I totally believe he basically was surprised she was “thriving.” My DD is a very confident and capable 35 year old.
I wouldn’t worry. I know that is easier said than done. I learned something very important about grandmothers. You worry double. You worry for your daughter and you worry for your granddaughter. But you need to just love them both. Trust your DD will do what she needs to do to help her DD thrive. Yes your granddaughter had a scary start but she will be okay.
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Post by grammadee on Nov 17, 2022 3:47:33 GMT
(((((Hugs))))) flanz. My youngest dgs was born tiny (<5 lbs) and was slow to grow. At 7 years, he is still bottom 10% for his age on the growth chart, but is healthy, happy, full of life and creativity and energy.
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Nov 17, 2022 3:47:57 GMT
My great nephew was born 7 weeks early on 9/9 and was in the NICU for 6 weeks. He was there a week longer than they thought he would be, because he couldn't stay awake long enough to finish his required feedings. Once he was home, he began falling asleep again because he was so snuggly. Feeding him vertically just laying on our laps (knees slightly propping him up), has helped keep him awake, as well as holding his face to burp instead of the snuggle over the shoulder burp. My niece had GD and her 7-week preemie baby was 6 lbs 7 oz and did lose weight with a feeding tube. Since we have all adopted the snuggle time is snuggle time and feeding time is business concept, he has steadily put on weight. We know there are still snuggly feedings in our future, just not now. {Hugs} to you, grandma.
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Post by leftturnonly on Nov 17, 2022 4:10:49 GMT
I think FAILURE TO THRIVE is a horrible phrase and should be banned from use by medical personnel. Those words cause so very much anxiety and feelings of guilt, and I have read they are often used inappropriately. To be told your beautiful little baby is failing to thrive and that it must somehow be your fault is one of the absolute worst things I ever experienced in my life and something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Is that a thing.... that sometime's mom's milk is not nourishing enough? That's a really interesting, and very touchy, subject. Babies need to be able to latch on well and suck long enough to get the best milk, and mothers need to be both fed well enough and as calm as possible to be able to make their best milk. Things don't always work out that way, though. And some babies, like my son, have trouble retaining or digesting their food and may need supplementation in addition to nursing. Continued nursing even with supplementation for as long as possible is still a good thing for both mother and baby. There are physical and mental benefits to both that are worth the effort. the college search that they're starting on for the failure to thrive baby Was this a project of hers or her college? Were/are they looking for adults who had been failure to thrive babies? I was definitely stressed we switched doctors because the first one made me feel like crap! {{{hugs}}} No matter how much time has passed, just looking back to times like that can be very hard.
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Post by Linda on Nov 17, 2022 4:20:19 GMT
I think FAILURE TO THRIVE is a horrible phrase and should be banned from use by medical personnel. Those words cause so very much anxiety and feelings of guilt, and I have read they are often used inappropriately. I'm sorry you had to cope with what I imagine was a lot of stress. Did your daughter always seem healthy to you despite her low weight? It's definitely a hard phrase to hear - esp. for mothers, I think, who tend to take it personally. My DD was always pretty healthy despite the low weight - she was in late high school the first time she needed antibiotics for instance. She was just very small for her age until she reached puberty - then she started catching up. Like several others on this thread - we did end up switching doctors because of the attitude I got from the original one.
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Post by pierkiss on Nov 17, 2022 4:50:32 GMT
She sounds fine developmentally, just small. My youngest daughter was born at 36 weeks. She was described as “scrawny” by the 900 year old pediatrician. She was it’s bitsy, weighing in at 5lbs, some odd ounces (fourth kid ). She was totally fine. Met every single developmental milestone right on time or a bit ahead of schedule. She is currently 5.5 years old. She weighs 31.6 pounds. She is still it’s bitsy. She is on her own growth chart at the pediatricians office because she is so small. She told me today that she is the smallest kid in her kindergarten class. But she is growing, and that is the important part. Sometimes kiddos are small, and that’s ok. As long as they are eating, growing, and hitting those milestones in a reasonable amount of time it’s ok. 😊 Congrats on the new grandbaby!
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Post by flanz on Nov 17, 2022 5:24:53 GMT
I had a teeny tiny preemie and a 2nd preemie who was a bit bigger, but still a preemie. Both kids are healthy, happy well, fed adults. I couldn't breast feed, despite trying everything. A great mother is not determined by her breast milk. If your little one needs formula that's just fine. If she's alert when she's awake and the doctor isn't concerned then it's all good. You're gonna have a happy, playful granddaughter. Give it time. I couldn't nurse either of my babies either. Not a drop of colostrum was produced by my body. I was shocked... had never heard of that. I HAD heard of women who chose not to nurse and who had to painfully bind their breasts so the milk would "dry up." ((( hugs )))
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Post by flanz on Nov 17, 2022 5:32:36 GMT
Thanks again. You're all wonderful!! I love this place... it's peopled with so many wonderful, generous humans! xo
Just heard from DD that both she and baby have thrush which is now being treated. I'm guessing nursing will be easier for both of them soon. Phew!
HUGE HUGS TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BABES AND OTHER BABIES IN YOUR LIVES.
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Post by leftturnonly on Nov 17, 2022 6:14:49 GMT
Just heard from DD that both she and baby have thrush Ugh. My dd and I passed it back and forth for a while. Totally not fun. I couldn't nurse either of my babies either. You aren't the only woman who wanted and tried to nurse and had real difficulty. I used to belong to La Leche League (nursing mothers) and heard a lot of different stories. The women in my old group were extremely helpful. It was really nice to get together once a month and not have to pretend to be fine, you know what I mean? Seriously one of the best things I did for myself when my babies were young. If I'm not outright imagining this, I'm pretty sure on the old board I heard of some groups where the leaders weren't very nice. I guess that can be true with any group, though I only met extremely helpful and kind women. LLL may be a good source for your daughter to check out if she hasn't already.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,229
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Nov 17, 2022 9:28:57 GMT
Im confused as to how she had a feeding tube in the hospital and lost weight. When my ds was in NICU, he had an IV, not a feeding tube and he gained weight. We were told that was the norm for a baby on an IV. I would think with a feeding tube it would be the same or more of a gain. It is normal for all newborn babies to lose up to 10% of their birthweight during their first week of life.
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Post by ladyinpink1969 on Nov 17, 2022 11:59:13 GMT
My 17yo (or he will be tomorrow) was labeled as “failure to thrive” and I had “intrauterine growth retardation”. Talk about being scared for my baby!! DS born full term (39 weeks, 4 days), was 4lbs 13oz and was in the NICU for 14 days as he had some sort of infection when he was born, plus had swallowed meconium. They did all sorts of tests, but I knew he’d be fine. I could breastfeed 3 times/day, but the other 5 times/day I had to add formula to my breastmilk. I ended up Just pumping for 6 months, adding the extra formula and giving him a bottle. I had to take him to a dietitian for a few month, so they could make sure he was gaining weight. Breastmilk has 20 calories/ounce. With adding the special formula, it would boost him up to 22 calories/ounce or 24 or 26. DS has been has been healthy and is now 5’10”, which we’ll take as my FIL is 5’2” and DH and I aren’t much taller than that. I hate how the doctors make us so worried, when they can pretty much guarantee the baby will be ok, but they have to cover their butts so they don’t get sued. I know it’s hard, but take a deep breath as it sounds like your DGD will be just fine. Hugs and prayers
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 17, 2022 12:35:48 GMT
THANK YOU EVERYONE! I really appreciate your encouragement and sharing your success stories. Our children are so very precious. DD has had the support of a great lactation consultant, midwives, her doula and their pediatrician. She's also done everything she possibly can to boost her milk supply and to get baby to nurse. Heroic efforts, IMO. She will do all she can to at least partially feed their little girl breast milk but is not at all ashamed that they need to supplement. If it comes to it and it is deemed that baby needs formula only to thrive, she'll do that too. Is that a thing.... that sometime's mom's milk is not nourishing enough? My DDIL thought she wasn't producing enough milk. It turns out my grandson, a preemie born at 34 weeks, had week mouth/tongue muscles. He wasn't really able to suck well. It took forever for him to finish a bottle. It's something to explore. He is doing great at age 14!
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Post by cat2007 on Nov 17, 2022 13:23:29 GMT
My son was full term and 6:14 at birth. However he was not growing by leaps and bounds. My pediatrician told me, "He is on the chart for growth at his age. As long as he is on the chart, don't worry." My youngest daughter was the same except she weighed 6:1. Slow and steady seemed to be her trend and all of the sudden, when she was 14, had a HUGE growth spurt (for her) and is now a comfortable 5'2". She is still petite but I'm just happy she finally grew!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 4:30:08 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2022 13:45:51 GMT
My eldest son was always low on the chart. His doctor wasn't concerned. My mil at the time was pushing me to feed him formula with oats, he was bf. One time she fed him evaporated milk. I ignored her advice and was very mad about the evaporated milk. Anyway he's 16 now and 6 foot 3 . He's not much more than 160 lbs, he's slim but strong and that build runs in my family. He doesn't like sweet stuff, never did, not remotely interested in cake, but prefers to eat fruit, veggies, red meat and lots of chicken.
I remember that as a young kid it would take us a year to put a few lbs on him, and he'd lose it the minute he was sick. Totally frustrating. His brother who's 3 years younger had 20 lbs on him. All I can say is that I needn't have worried.
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