Do you ever feel like you just don't matter?

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I don't know what to say. But am sending you hugs.

We just finished up watching "It's a Wonderful Life." A good reminder that you and everyone matters. I agree with freecharlie, life just gets busy and you never know what burdens they are carrying. Hang in there.

Please get some help. X

Me, I wasn't able to drive my sister to all her appointments (most but not all) and there was a community group in my area called Saanich Volunteers which have drivers to take people to appointments, take people shopping etc. There was no fee for this. She registered with them and on her appointment days someone picked her up and drove her to her appointment. That being said, it always turned out to be someone we knew in the community i.e. my classmate's uncle, her cousin's father, who lived 2 streets over from us growing up. So suddenly the world got a lot smaller. Sometimes you do need to get creative with getting rides from people. I told my BFF here I would drive her to any of her appointments and she only got me to take her to one. I told my neighbour that I would take her whenever she needed me but Thursdays were out (my dad's golfing day). They called me from time to time. No one was ever a burden. I was happy to do it.

Then something happened and I saw my next door neighbour's face as she had fallen and I was oh mother of god you have hurt yourself! She said it wasn't so bad. (Yeah, she looked like a baseball bat had been taken to her face as she had tripped and fallen down some stairs). She is very, very old and frail. I ask her to call me for anything. She asked if we could go for groceries. Yes, of course. Could we go to the doctor 2 blocks away. Yes what time? Then there was one more she needed and then she was ok. Then she asked me to take an Rx to the pharmacy for her and pick it up which I did a day or two later. Then she didn't need me anymore. I practically had to beg her to let me help her and she needed the help! This was NOT domestic violence. They immediately put in a chair elevator from the lower level to the upper level.

I would look for your municipal/county volunteer services and see if there is anything available. If your friends are done. Then that's that. There are other avenues.

Many counties offer a driving service for people who need to go for medical help. My cousin is a schizophrenic and has an aide assigned to her who drives her to various appointments. Contact your county medical health office to ask. Also, when I moved to nyc ten years ago, I was a middle aged woman with not one friend. I went onto meetup dot com and found others like myself. One group was scrapbook relat d, the other was for women over 40. The friendships I made through those groups are still with me now.

With all that said, you sound like your depression is doing the talking. Meds are so important for you. Please do all you can to get the help you need. 

I've been thinking about you and I hope today is better for you. Hugs.

It would matter to me because seeing your avatar brings me joy. I love that picture. I know that sounds silly, but it does.

Hugs.

You matter. Your life matters. There is a reason you are here.

With the challenges you face (health, transportation) I'm thinking you need to find something you can do from your home that connects you to others. Do you knit or crochet? You could work on infant hats or baby blankets for newborns or children in shelters. I will even send you a big box of yarn and some contacts in your area if that's something you are interested in doing? Can you write letters? I'd be willing to hook you up with a pen pal type outreach where you could encourage others through the mail (or even computer). Do you make cards? I could connect you to lots of places that send cards to soldiers, people in nursing homes, etc. I'd even send you an incredible stash of card making supplies that is sitting, unused, here at my house!

Stop focusing on what you are unable to do and let's start brainstorming things you CAN do! I'll bet there are lots of people here who could add more and even better things to my short list above.

So, we'll get a list going and you tell us what you'd like to do and think you can handle, and I'll help you with that!

You matter!

I don't have a whole lot of advice to offer that hasn't already been said, but you do matter.

Hugs to you.

You've had a lot of good advice. I don't really have anything else to add except to say that you absolutely do matter. I've been depressed in the past and can definitely identify with what you're going through but it is the depression talking and affecting your perception of reality. Please talk to your therapist again. Sending hugs to you.

You do matter. You do. Illness is depressing. So, if you have that propensity toward depression chronic or life threatening illness will just exacerbate the depression. I'm wondering if they can try a different class of medication for your depression. SSRI's might not agree w/you, but there are several others. One thing I must make clear is that our illness doesn't define us or make us unworthy or worthless or insignificant or emotionally weak. It makes us sick. Period. You aren't alone, even if you're bedridden. Rather, you are challenged and you are a woman who can face and master a challenge.

So, what's the magic answer? That you have to do all that you can to advocate for yourself even when you wish you didn't exist. That means , calling your therapist when you can't get in and finding a way to get that support over the phone; finding a way to get there even when you don't have a car; finding services that will transport you; getting out when you can even if it's just to sit at Starbucks for an hour w/a friend.

As long as I'm breathing I am not giving up. When you're  too weak to go out then invite friends to  come in and visit. Even if you only have a few friends then nurture those friendships, build upon them and allow them to provide you a sense of belonging. Find a support group for others in your situation and make new friends. Do not give up. That isn't an option. You are too valuable and too wonderful. Tell your story, loud and proud. Who are you apart from the illness? What are your passions, talents(and you have talents, favorite tv shows, movies, books? What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? What is the most interesting? What is the most compelling? What can you do for yourself in order to feel emotionally better? Action really helps. You will get through this if you're willing to do so. Put the person you love the most in your shoes and give that person advice. What would you tell them? You are not alone. Nor are you forgotten.

Hi @me, just wondering how you're feeling today?