Do you sign on for things and then regret it?

Things always sound good until I have to do them.

Some of the best professional advice I ever received was, when you are invited to do something, ask yourself how you'd feel if you had to do it tomorrow. It has helped me say no to a lot of things. I'm an extrovert and a doer, but doing can be a lot of work.

Yes, very much so, and you entirely pegged why.

My daughter today was complaining that (I'll use day names to keep this clear) on Tuesday, she volunteered to help out at work on Wednesday if they needed help, as she was not scheduled to work Wednesday and she knows a lot of people are calling out. On Wednesday around 1:00 pm, her boss said, oh, so-and-so just called out, are you still able to come in this afternoon? And DD panicked. We were laughing about it, saying that there's a whole half of the world who doesn't understand that we can't just do things on the spur of the moment, we have to get into the mental space to be able to do it. That's true even of things we might want to do, like spending time with a friend, and you either understand it, or you don't.

I also hate evening meetings, and long ago told the organization that I do most of my volunteer work with that I just would not do them. Once I was more established, I could say, yes, once in a while if necessary, but I have to know way ahead!

Do you know if there are people you know and like in the group? That might be one way to learn how to look forward to it. And if you're like me, you are generally happy you did it once you get there and do it...it's just the prep time that's the hard part. Maybe that's something to tell yourself. "By 7:05, I'll be happy I'm here."

It's normal to have anxiety about something you aren't comfortable with. Would it help to try to figure out the specific things that make you anxious about it? (Or is it just the reality that you simply don't wanna? I've dealt with both!) You aren't the only one by any means.

Oh yes. Yes to all of it!  

Although I don't care for Zoom I will say that Zoom meetings have one huge advantage over in-person meetings, especially ones at night -- when they're done you're magically already home! lol. No need to get in a cold car and drive through dark cold streets to your house where you still have to get ready for bed before you can even get under that blanket. Nope. You can do that Zoom meeting with your PJ bottoms already on. Meeting done, change into PJ top, get in bed.  

Things always sound better when they're still a ways out. I have a friend who always has a blow-out halloween gathering because she lives on a popular trick-or-treating street. We always used to go when the kids were little because the kids all loved going into a room together and counting their candy. But over the years as they all grew up the party turned into more of an adult thing and not as much fun for us non-party types. One year a neighbor, also a 100% Myers-Briggs "I" like I am, realized that she and I both had our spouses traveling overseas at the same time, over halloween. About 3-4 weeks before the party my neighbor said "hey, do you want to walk up to K's party on Halloween?" I said "Sure! Sounds like fun!" 

The next week she said "you still want to go up to K's Halloween party?" I said "yes, let's."

The following week she said "so.... about K's party...." and I said "yeah....yeah, we should go...."

The next week, Halloween week, I said "so...do you really still want to go to K's party? You could just come to my place for a glass of wine..." She said "Deal!"

hahahahahahahahahahahha  The closer the party got the less we wanted to go.

Yes, I often get mad at my past self for signing up for things. Sometimes I back out, other times I suck it up and go. Most of the time I am glad I went, but those other times... 🤣

I am an introvert, so all the time! And I hate group projects. Good luck with your project!