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Post by Linda on Dec 19, 2022 14:05:06 GMT
Navy mum here - I wouldn't go with him but defnitely talk to him about reading the contract before signing and making sure it says what he expects it to say. Not sure how Army determines jobs but my DS went back to MEPS three times before they offered him a contract with the job he wanted - he had a super high ASVAB score though so loads of options. Bonuses - read the fine print very very carefully. Sometimes if you don't complete the training etc...you have to pay it back. Other times you don't get it until after boot or after advanced training or... And think about WHY they offer better bonuses for certain jobs - it's because they are struggling to either fill them or retain people in them - and there's usually a good reason for that. From a mum perspective - be prepared to not have him home for Christmas etc...my DS enlisted in 2015 and spent Thanksgiving/Christmas at boot that year. The only Christmases he's been home for have been 2019 and 2021 - he'll be here for New Year's hopefully this year. Be prepared for long periods of time not seeing him - we saw mine at boot graduation in Jan 2016 for a few hours and then again that April for 2 wks leave before he headed overseas. Then not again until syummer 2019. Sometimes leave will get cancelled - sometimes even last minute. Sometimes (less often but still possible) leave will be cut short. His time belongs to the military and they don't care much about family plans. DS has missed several funerals - he did make it to one but that was in part due to being driving distance away and being at a Command where he could get the time off. He's missed other family events - dd16's confirmation, dd22's high school graduation...he'll quite possibly miss DD16's graduation also. If you have younger children, he'll miss them growing up. My youngest turned 9 about 6 wks before DS left for boot. It's been tough on her esp. since they were super close before. BUT I'm really proud of my son. He's doing great, plans to make it a career - he's been in 7 years now. I guess I don’t see much difference between going on a college visit with a kid and a parent asking questions and a parent and child having a meeting with the recruiter. Sure, he is a few years older now but there are still some similarities. When we did college visits - DD asked the questions, not us.
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 23:06:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2022 18:09:17 GMT
AF vet here. When I was in high school, apparently they came in and offered the ASVAB test. I honestly don't remember why I took it at the time as I didn't have any intention of going into the military. I had actually enrolled in college but my mother only agreed to pay for college if I went for political science. Absolutely HATED it! I barely made it through the first semester and got in with a bad crowd and was going no where FAST. My mom and stepfather were having major marital issues so I was basically adrift on my own.
I walked into a recruiter's office and basically told them that I wanted to leave immediately and if they couldn't make that happen, I wouldn't sign. They discovered I scored pretty high on the ASVAB and pushed me towards the AF. I indicated I wanted to travel world wide and they told me no problem. I basically ended up being a "hotel manager of sorts" at a missile silo in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota for two years! But hey...I was 50 miles from the Canadian Border. Not exactly the exotic I was looking for.
IMO, Basic Training is tough, but it is more of a mind game than anything. The purpose is to tear you down in order to build you back up as a unit and to follow orders. And honestly, I went in with 50 women in my unit. By the time we finished 6-8 weeks later, half of them had washed out.
I am another that thinks you need to let your son make these decisions for himself. You can load him up with the info and questions to ask, but he needs to do this alone.
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Post by Neisey on Dec 20, 2022 13:54:01 GMT
I’m in Canada and work at a Military Family Resource Centre (and 22 year AF Spouse) We are happy to chat with parents, help them learn the lingo, explain situations and expectations.
I encourage you to reach out to the American counterpart at your closest base.
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Post by mom on Dec 20, 2022 14:23:56 GMT
I guess I don’t see much difference between going on a college visit with a kid and a parent asking questions and a parent and child having a meeting with the recruiter. Sure, he is a few years older now but there are still some similarities. The difference is this is a job interview. Would you go with your adult son to a job interview? PNN (Private news network) is a big gossip chain among non-officers and you don't want your kid being known as the one who had mommy come - and the info will get around. They will hound him and be relentless on the jokes and names. Don't do this to your kid. If he feels like he does need someone with him, find a Vet or someone who is currently serving. Really, anyone that they trust that isn't mom.
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,566
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Dec 20, 2022 14:43:42 GMT
If there's an MOS that he really wants and he can financially afford to wait, I'd advise him to hold out for an opening. Recruiters will push to fill the roles they have and get him in ASAP.
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Post by littlemama on Dec 20, 2022 16:19:18 GMT
I dont think there is an issue with you going to a meeting with the recruiter. No different than going on a college visit with a young adult.
19 year olds dont have the life experience necessary to know what to ask and how to make sure that what is promised is in the contract. It is our job as parents to help our kids.
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Post by Linda on Dec 20, 2022 16:20:45 GMT
If there's an MOS that he really wants and he can financially afford to wait, I'd advise him to hold out for an opening. Recruiters will push to fill the roles they have and get him in ASAP. YES 100% - ds held out for the rating he wanted - and he's been happy with it (7 years in)
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Dec 20, 2022 20:33:24 GMT
My daughter joined the Navy at 17...I had to sign for her to enlist. I didn't ask any questions. I also joined the Army at 17 and my mom signed for me to enlist. All she asked the recruiter was if he'd let his child enlist. It will be great for your son. Idk what his interests are, but I'd steer him away from anything that puts him in the front lines. Anything medical is a good choice. My ex and I are military trained Respiratory therapists, and easily found great paying jobs when we departed from the military.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Feb 1, 2023 23:12:28 GMT
BTT for update
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Post by malibou on Feb 2, 2023 0:02:51 GMT
Congratulations! It is truly as rewarding an experience as he makes it. Can you tell us what MOS (job) he took?
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Post by mom on Feb 2, 2023 0:31:39 GMT
I was hesitant to post this but I am not sharing a lot with family and friends right now and I would really like advice. DS (19) has decided that college is not for him. He has been talking about enlisting in the military for a while. He has decided on the Army. He and his recruiter agreed that he needed to finish his current semester in college because he was too far in to withdraw and to obtain the credits that he was working for. Semester was over Friday and he is looking to fast track it. Partially because he is ready and partially (mostly I think) because the government is offering an additional bonus to enlist and leave within 30 days for boot camp. This week he is scheduled to be drug tested and take a written test. After that, he is sign his contract and be ready to leave. They don't start a boot camp class over the holidays so it appears that he would leave mid-January. I have already asked DS to schedule a meeting before signing that I can attend and ask questions. (Is that too much?) I feel like at 19, there are a lot of questions he wouldn't think to ask. I am wondering if any peas have experience here and can advise me what I need to ask, what we should be doing to prepare and basically anything else you think I (and ds) should be aware of during this process. UPDATE He made it official today! I took a lot of the advice given and let him do this on his own. And he did it all on his own. Until this week I hadn't even spoken to his recruiter but with an issue with his birth certificate/ss card/passport (a name change) he put his recruiter on speaker with me to work out the issue and get the additional paperwork required. Got a lot of detailed information that was lacking about what he needs to bring and where he needs to be when. He went this morning for his physical and enlisted! I had to pick him up from the recruiter's office today and waited in the car like a good non-helicopter mother but the recruiter came out to meet me. He is required to check into a hotel near the airport Monday but because we are local the recruiter said after check in he can come back home until curfew. He leaves Tuesday after his swearing in! He is very excited but a bit nervous, which is to be expected. The next few days we have a few dinners planned with family and friends. I am anxious of course but happy for him! Congratulations, Mama! Welcome to the Club! Go ahead and stock up on stamps, and get your letter writing skills perfected because thats the next part for you. During Bootcamp, it's important to send him mail and to encourage him. It'll take a hot minuet to get his address, but have some cards/letters ready to go as soon as you can. Mail call is a huge exciting time for soldiers! Have you found the FB page for his Boot Camp? There will be a mom's group for it and you'll want to join it. They will (possibly) have photos of your soldier during boot camp (usually towards the end). But it'll be a great place to make friends and to get a heads up when to expect phone calls, etc. It's also time for you to lock down all of your social media and make sure only people you want can see what you post. Remember, what you post is a reflection of you soldier and his unit. Where's your son doing boot camp at? Maybe one of us had a kid there and can give additional info on what to expect.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Feb 2, 2023 0:34:44 GMT
Fort Benning
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Post by mom on Feb 2, 2023 0:36:27 GMT
Im no help with Ft Benning - my son was at Ft. Sill for Boot Camp, and then to Ft. Sam Houston for AIT, and now in Hawaii for his duty station.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Feb 2, 2023 0:37:52 GMT
He chose infantry but does not have to specialize until boot camp. He wants ariel assault but he is being encouraged to do airborne? If that makes sense. His contract does not have a specialization. I wanted him to choose a job but he is adamant that he wants to be infantry.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Feb 2, 2023 0:39:59 GMT
No. How do I find that? I was told his swearing in will be on facebook but got zero details.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Feb 2, 2023 4:16:38 GMT
He is required to check into a hotel near the airport Monday but because we are local the recruiter said after check in he can come back home until curfew. He leaves Tuesday after his swearing in! He is very excited but a bit nervous, which is to be expected. The next few days we have a few dinners planned with family and friends. I am anxious of course but happy for him! Exciting. Can you go into MEPS on Tuesday to watch him take his oath? Due to covid restrictions we were not allowed. His recruiter videotaped it on his phone to send to us. We live 2 1/2 hours from where we had to drop off our son off the night before. In a different state even. My now 20 year old just drove from Maine to California to report to his permanent duty station. It's a good type of pride.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Feb 2, 2023 4:23:43 GMT
Have you found the FB page for his Boot Camp? There will be a mom's group for it and you'll want to join it. They will (possibly) have photos of your soldier during boot camp (usually towards the end). But it'll be a great place to make friends and to get a heads up when to expect phone calls, etc. I second this. Mine is coastguard and on weeks 3, 4, 5, and 7 they marched in the all the graduation parades (week 6 they were the company to work the graduation) and week 8 they graduated. What was fun for us moms was to watch the FB live graduation feeds, screen shot the company then play "where's waldo". Also depending on the weather Sundays was a 5K "fun run" off base where many community people recorded the companies run by and post them on social media. Again another fun way to play "Where's Waldo". I loved the FB group. Fountain of information and support. Then I am sure every branch has "Mom and grandma groups". I am not a fan of Mom and Dad groups. I like the woman only ones. I know for the coast guards almost every region has a "moms" type group.
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Post by mom on Feb 2, 2023 15:17:32 GMT
No. How do I find that? I was told his swearing in will be on facebook but got zero details. Just go to Facebook and type in the search bar 'Ft Benning Boot Camp and Beyond' and see what pops up. In my sons group, they asked you questions before you can join the group -- like when does he go to basic, what's his MOS --- and once they know you are a real person, they will accept you. For my sons swearing in, it was on Facebook (because of Covid) -- the page was Amarillo MEPS so look for something similar for your area. Probably 'town where the recruiting station is' + MEPS.
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 2, 2023 16:32:22 GMT
Congrats to your son!! My son left for the Air Force 3 months after his senior year in high school. You are now a military mom!
When he goes to boot camp, keep your ears out for his 'class number' (I can't remember what they call it) but it was a thing to create a FB page for the parents of his group. So when those phone calls go out or the one day they can call home, everyone checks the page and can kinda keep up with what is going on. That was a LIFE SAVER for me. Seven years later it still an active page although we don't post much on it anymore. But it is kinda fun for yearly check ins on what our sons/daughters are doing. I can't remember who created it.. but see if you can find that info if there is still such a thing.
You'll find out a lot of people will compare kids going off to college to your kid going off to the military... just go with it. lol.. it isn't the same at all. They can talk to their kid anytime, or facetime.. yeah, we can't do that.
Edited to add: So funny on the comments about mommy going to the recruiters. We went with DS. There wasn't much talk about it.. He told us when the appointment was and we all went.. (mom/dad). We only went to support him, no interference from us. We did have questions that we asked (mainly lingo stuff.. UGG).. but DS was in the driver's seat the entire time. I remember there was another kid in there with his dad. So I don't think it is unusual for parents to go. Again, it was his decision all the way. We just went to get information how it all worked.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 2, 2023 23:25:09 GMT
DS was infantry, so boot and AIT at Benning. It’s a massive post in the middle of nowhere. It’s hot as hell in summer. DS got sick as a dog and had to wash back into the group behind him. It was a long slog at Benning for him. His only duty station was Schofield Barracks on Oahu and deployment to Afghanistan.
Congratulations and welcome to the club. Support your troop with lots of letters. Once he moves on from Benning, care packages are always welcome. Treasure his visits home. ❤️
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Feb 3, 2023 14:35:28 GMT
Edited to add: So funny on the comments about mommy going to the recruiters. We went with DS. There wasn't much talk about it.. He told us when the appointment was and we all went.. (mom/dad). We only went to support him, no interference from us. We did have questions that we asked (mainly lingo stuff.. UGG).. but DS was in the driver's seat the entire time. I remember there was another kid in there with his dad. So I don't think it is unusual for parents to go. Again, it was his decision all the way. We just went to get information how it all worked. yes this. I only went the day we dropped him off but my husband went every time. He said there was at least 1 parent/support person with every potential recruit at every desk in the room. My son's recruiter encouraged it. A second pair of ears and all that. He even told me about the Moms and Grandmas of the coastguard FB group, he told me about the specific company FB group for during bootcamp. The military in general is very family friendly. Now there is a difference in the recruitment process and when they are at bootcamp and in the service. There are quite funny and embarrassing stories out there from when Mom's called command to check on their kids etc. Once in the service they have to handle situations on their own.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Feb 5, 2023 21:24:05 GMT
I found the Facebook page and will ask to join once he arrives. It states they have to be present at bootcamp to be accepted.
The swearing in is still on Facebook. I found the MEPS in my city and followed so we are all set there. Went shopping today. Insane I have to buy him clothes to wear for 5 days but he does not own anything other than sweats and jeans w holes. Went to Walmart of course. I should have asked friends but I procrastinated. Unlike me but as the date gets closer, I am more anxious. Dreading the goodbye but I know I will see him soon enough. Thanks for the info!
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Post by powderhorngreen on Feb 6, 2023 16:28:59 GMT
Thanks for the update! You did great and it sounds like you will be an awesome support system as he finishes his transition to full adulthood. Enjoy the wild and crazy ride. One comment on the facebook groups - tread lightly. From my experience when my son was at the Academy, lots of parental whining, half truths, and hand-wringing can go on there. Get in, pull useful information you may need to coordinate attending graduation ceremonies, etc. and then get out. We found it best to have our son be our source of info.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Feb 6, 2023 22:04:38 GMT
My son just reported to his permanent duty station this morning, a mere 2,500 miles away. He is starting his training as an avionic electronic technician (AET) aboard a helicopter and will eventually be part of a search and rescue crew along the California coast.
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Post by MichyM on Feb 6, 2023 23:00:35 GMT
I hadn't read this thread before since I know Very little about the military but you all are great! There is so much useful information here 👍🏻 fkawitchypea I’m very happy for your son, and that you sound so excited for this next step in his life.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Feb 7, 2023 2:10:50 GMT
Best of luck to your son!
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Post by mom on Feb 7, 2023 2:11:48 GMT
My son just reported to his permanent duty station this morning, a mere 2,500 miles away. He is starting his training as an avionic electronic technician (AET) aboard a helicopter and will eventually be part of a search and rescue crew along the California coast. How exciting! Congratulations!!
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Post by mom on Feb 7, 2023 2:14:04 GMT
I found the Facebook page and will ask to join once he arrives. It states they have to be present at bootcamp to be accepted. The swearing in is still on Facebook. I found the MEPS in my city and followed so we are all set there. Went shopping today. Insane I have to buy him clothes to wear for 5 days but he does not own anything other than sweats and jeans w holes. Went to Walmart of course. I should have asked friends but I procrastinated. Unlike me but as the date gets closer, I am more anxious. Dreading the goodbye but I know I will see him soon enough. Thanks for the info! A rule for military moms that we have not told you yet ---- we dont say 'goodbye'. We ALWAYS, ALWAYS say 'see you laters'. Goodbyes can be forever and we don't want to say goodbye forever, so 'see ya later' it is! LOL Do the best you can on the clothes --- they will make sure he has what he needs. Was moleskin on his list of stuff to take? I can't recall on DS list. Anyway, he will need it later for sure. But don't send it til he tells you he needs it. They will confiscate it otherwise.
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