UPDATE Advice for parents of children enlisting

Honestly he’s an adult and you having a meeting with the recruiter is a little over the top no offense. If you have questions you need answered, let him ask them without you with him. Maybe others here have some ideas of the questions he needs to ask but it sounds like he has thought this out. I don’t think that would give a recruiter a very good impression at all if someone’s mom requested a meeting. 

The recruiters will say anything necessary to get the new recruit to sign on the dotted line.

The recruiter promised my son and his friend the moon and the 2 boys were ready to go. The mother of the other boy shut it down.

A few years passed and our son was still floundering as a young adult. Then on a Sunday he announced that he had something to tell us---he was leaving for the Navy in 2 days. We were stunned. However, I was glad because I knew the military would give him a chance to grow up and perhaps get a focus for his life.

Try to get your son enrolled in a program that will give him a skill he can use in the civilian world.

We were terrified he would be killed in combat, but he didn't, he served his 4 years and got out.

Mom of an Army Soldier who joined at 19.....

DO NOT go with him. Talk to him ahead of time, make a list of questions/things for him to think about. But this needs to be 1000% him. His decision. His research.

Yes -- he needs to finish any classes and get the credit. The more credits, the faster he can move up in rank and get more money.

We had a few months 'notice' of when DS2 went to Boot Camp, and honestly, I would have preferred he just went and got it done. We had a whole bunch of 'hurry up and wait'.

I would suggest he watch every you tube video he can get his hands on that tells him what to expect (not the ones the Army puts out but the ones soldiers put on their own pages). DS2 learned a lot that way - about what to expect in boot camp, his MOS, and ultimately, his duty station.

Is your son ready, mentally and physically? Boot Camp is no joke. Can he go without talking/writing to you for weeks at a time? 

Questions to ask:

What's his MOS? Can he change it later if he hates it?
With his MOS, where will he be going for AIT? How long will his training be?
Contract: many are getting $$ for going....but when will he actually get the money? After Boot Camp? Before?

He had to do this. It's almost the worst thing for moms, and dads too, too step over the child participating.

My YDS knew college was not for him and he joined the Navy. He met with the recruiter and made all the decisions. Of course we had questions. We asked him and he asked the recruiter. His initial contract was 5 active years and 3 reserves. He just recapped a few months ago.

Navy is different than Army but I'm sure military is military. Support his decision. My son told me of several that didn't have their families support. Other families would "adopt" them and send them letters in Boot camp. Sent boxes of goodies during deployments.

We are a military family. Me, DH, DS, BIL, MIL, FIL. it’s Time to let him start making decisions as an adult. You can go to the army website (link above in another post) and it will answer some questions. An MOS that translates to a civilian job is best (medical, trades). Infantry is okay if he plans to make it a career.

We tried to talk DS out of the Army (we are both AF vets). No way, he WANTED Infantry. Dumb kid. We were lucky, he joined when Afghanistan was the deadliest, and he came home safe.

I loved my time in the military.

Not a mom of a soldier, but the wife of one (but AF) for 32 years. DH officially retires on January 1.

DH spent 2 years as the commander of a recruiting squadron. They aren't allowed to lie, but pay attention to the verbiage. Nothing is true until it's in writing. If his scores are good, push for everything he can get. Numbers are down and they need recruits, but I'm not current on where the needs are. IMO, the AF has the best quality of life.  Less physically demanding and more family friendly.  But you need good test scores--they are the pickiest of the services. He can visit all the services' recruiters and see what they are offering.

Like most things in life, your DS will get out of it what he puts into it. If he pays attention, works the checklists and the system, he can get a lot out of it. Education=advancement. Take any certifications and education that he can get for free. Don't buy a brand new expensive truck. Money doesn't go as far as you think and I've seen a lot of soldiers living in the dorms who buy expensive vehicles and then can't afford life when they move into a house or apartment of their own.

Be supportive. Write letters, be available for phone calls, send care packages. This has the potential to be a very good thing!

Write letters every day. Send photos of pets. Tell him what is going on in town. Give him sports scores. You can cry but it's best to not cry in front of him.

Learn not to make plans. They will always have a chance of changing. Learn that holidays are just dates on a calendar. When he home on leave, celebrate it all.

Mine just got home today. This will be the first Christmas we've had him home in 5 yrs. Hug him tight. Tell him you're so proud of him.

I don't share anything personal about myself as a general rule. My son signed up for the coastguard while he was still 17 but did turn 18 before he took his final oath and signed the contract. Thing is, they encouraged our involvement even after his 18th birthday. My husband attended every meeting at the recruiter's office and the recruiter made sure to ask if my husband had any questions, but neither of us went into the MEPS building. We couldn't watch him swear in because of COVID restrictions. The recruiter took a video for us though. The day we dropped him off at the hotel was hard and made us very proud. He checked in the hotel, said his goodbyes and the military picks them up by bus at 5am the next morning and it's the military that transported him to the airport for Cape May, NJ and bootcamp.

One thing attending that very first meeting with the recruiter when my son was 17 was just seeing how mature our kiddo really was. My husband sat off to the side and said he was proud of the questions that my son asked etc.

The hardest thing is not having him at home for holidays but I am so stupid proud of him.

Navy mom here. We went to the recruiter and asked a lot of questions. My son is in a very difficult job with a very very hard school and pipeline. The minimum time is 6 years active 2 years reserve. I needed to know he was sure about that time commitment. I wanted him to hear everything he needed to hear and make sure he was not being take advantage of to meet a recruitment requirement. Nothing is final until it is in writing. Don't let him sign anything until it is exactly what he wants. They will push but have him hold out. Can I say get everything in writing again.

I did a lot of research online before we went. His recruiter actually invited us to come in and ask all the questions we wanted. He had two. They were so surprised to have anyone come in with a family as typically he said kids were joining to get away from their family or they did not have any family. I wanted to know about the bonuses and how the Navy training/schooling would transfer to college. I wanted to know he was asking the right questions and truly committed to this. He was. I was not excited for this path as I really felt the recruiter was pushing him and not listening. Going in with him and seeing how he handled himself helped me feel better about his decision. I saw that he was ready.

It is very very hard to let them go but I am very proud of my son. He is not making the navy a career, he wanted the experience and schooling.

Be prepared to not know a lot of information, to be happy with any communication and know that when they come home, they want down time. They want to sleep, eat, shower and not share space with people. They really don't  have time alone. Be prepared to not have them for any holidays, vacations etc. For leave times mine always has the holidays on. He isn't married and no kids so he works so others can be with their families. Send packages of their favorite things when you can.

Get a military phone plan so when they are deployed or stationed out of the country you aren't paying a fortune.

Join mom groups on facebook etc. Those were lifesavers through bootcamp and deployments. My son is always surprised at how much I know about what is going on even when we haven't talked. Get a power of attorney in place. Learn the abbreviations etc. Talk about money and budgeting. I think every military mom should read Be Safe, Love Mom. She has 4 kids and a spouse serving. I follow her social media too. She reminds you that it is better to not watch the news etc when you kid is deployed. Something happened in an area where my son was and I had no idea until numerous people called me. Thankfully he was safe. We have also learned that most things reported about military etc are not correct. Again, remember no news is good news.

He should be working on his fitness to be prepared for bootcamp. He should get a passport now so he is ready when he needs it.

Finally, be proud of the decision he has made. You will make it. It will be hard but you will learn a new way of supporting your kid.
PM me anytime!

No need to be a dick about it.

Another saying let him handle it on his own. And definitely have him finish his college courses. That will make promoting a bit faster.

I joined the Army at 17. My parents had to sign for me because I wasn't 18 yet. I took the paper home and they signed it. The recruiters will tell you what you want to hear to get you to sign, but just because they said it, doesn't mean it made it into the contract. Your Ds needs to make sure he reads it carefully.

I joined with my best friend. We had very similar MOS. The recruiter knew he had to get us both to sign, or neither of us would. My main reason for joining was because my parents had told me there was no money to send me to college and I was going to college come hell or high water. We were promised a generous Army education fund. They would contribute $5 for every $1 we saved. No cap had been discussed. When went to sign our contracts, they separated us. I carefully read thru my contract, but my friend didn't. My contract was written correctly and I had no cap on how much I could save. She signed a contract that actually only gave her $3 for every $1 she saved and she got capped $70,000. When she realized what happened they just shrugged. I ended up with a huge education fund.

Bottom line read carefully before signing!