How do you stop viewing healthy eating/exercise as punishmen

I wish I knew. About the only exercise I actually like is roller skating and the rink closest to me closed during Covid and never reopened.😕

What about swimming? At least with that you wouldn’t feel hot and sweaty.

I think you need to think of it as “just something you do”.
Like brushing your teeth or making your bed.
I don’t enjoy cleaning but I don’t let my house get filthy.
Exercise is just something I do - every day. It feels odd to me to go to bed at night if I didn’t exercise all day. Similar to brushing my teeth or washing my face.

I agree. I was thinking about this last night as I brushed my teeth. I have a cleaning next week which I dread. it's just something I do to take care of myself. I will never enjoy it, but it's what needs to happen to be able to live my best life.

You must learn to take responsibility for your behavior and defer gratification. I view healthy eating and exercise as a reward for taking care of the one body I have been given. The punishment is feeling physically bad, and having medical consquences when I don't.

There are no quick fixes, no magic potions to change your mindset. All you can do at this point is ask yourself: do I want to continue on my current path where my choices are going to start catching up with me or do I want to preserve/improve my health?

You won't reap the benefits--endorphins, awareness of body integrity--if you don't do it consistently. Nobody (me included) enjoys starting to exercise when they've been sedentary for 10 years. Your muscles are tight, your body is creaky and stiff. You are initially going to feel worse after exercise, but that is your muscles breaking down, and then building up. That is your body getting stronger.

When starting out, you also don't have to be a hero; when I was at my heaviest, it was a real challenge for me to walk to the mailbox--it killed my back. But that's how I started. I also got a dog and that made me accountable to someone, because how can you resist those liquid brown eyes? It helped me build a daily walking practice which involves getting out in nature every day. It's my time to check in with myself mentally, physically and spiritually. I've started writing so I write things in my head. I throw the ball for my dog and that's fun.

I don't know how old you are, but I've noticed as I got into my 60s that I needed to pay my body more attention, not less. I took up yoga, which I always scorned, but it's amazing to me how much stronger I've gotten in a year and a half of two sessions a week. And I practice a gentle yoga--no huffing and puffing

My body doesn't tolerate crap food very well anymore. Too much sugar gives me heart palpitations and makes me depressed. Honestly, what was most helpful to me was following a super clean diet for five years. When I cut out the crap I discovered how good real food tastes. I'm not saying you have to do that, but the truth is you won't ever know how good real food tastes unless you give it a chance.

And beyond just the physical rewards, when DS has a child, I will be an old grandma. I want to preserve my health as much as possible so I will be able to enjoy the experience.

You have to stop exercising because of what you ate. It’s not really an exchange like that. If you’re exercising the wrong thing at the wrong time increasing cortisol you’re going to hold onto fat anyway. It isn’t a payment-withdrawl relationship like so many people think or assume or have been taught.

I am in the same situation. Borderline on the sugar levels.

I go to the gym, because I have to.... not because I want to.
I love walking (currently at about two miles, aiming for five miles), so I do that. Then I tell myself since I am here, do at least one machine.

For me, it's psychological. My personal operating system, works best with rewards, something to work for.
I told myself starting January 1, each time I go to the gym, I will put $1 in a envelope. Then I can treat myself to something (probably scrapbook goodies)....every month or quarter, etc...
I love this type of personal challenge. While it doesn't add up to much money....it's still a reward for accomplishment. 
The more I go to the gym, the more "reward money" I will have. Totally psychological, but it motivates me.

As for getting exercise, I'd suggest walking/hiking outdoors and rather looking at it as "having to" think of it as making the time to "get to" and when you do, don't focus on the walk, and instead focus on what's around you and what you see. We have a variety of trail options that we drive to (ranging from from 3-10 miles away since we live out of town) and each has different things to see or types of trails. I love to be looking around or maybe stop here and there to check out nature or snap some pictures. And usually my dog is along about 1/2 the time. I love it, and I'm fortunate that I can also do that around my yard, if I make a full loop once around it's 1 mile, so I usually do 2 loops which is basically taking my dog out for a long walk.

If indoors and you don't have one, how about getting a treadmill? I will set up my iPad on mine and watch Netflix or YouTube while I walk. I actually need to get on this, since my trail walking is getting limited from our snowfall.

We also bike (as a couple, so it's easier to be motivated to go) and have a variety of trail options depending on what we want to see or how challenging we want to make it. I love biking but it's a little harder to fit in time wise, since my DH already goes 2x a week with a buddy.

Every once in awhile, I think I'd like to join the YMCA to have the option and accountability of doing group fitness classes. We seem to keep active enough for the most part that I haven't, although I'm always open to the possibility (and honestly, my health could use it). I do have the Peloton app and I love their strength and cardio workouts; you don't need their equipment to use them. The yoga and meditation classes are also a good, too, and aren't as much of a "sweaty" workout if helps you.

Beyond that, setting goals and rewarding yourself really work, especially if it gets you into a habit of wanting to make time for it permanently.

I had to force myself to exercise at first. The mental games involved were numerous and creative but somewhere along the way I realized that I honestly felt better when I was consistent. Do I love it now? Nope, but it's a part of my day and I frequently switch up what I do, what I listen to while doing it, where I work out, all in an effort to keep it fresh.
Food is the biggest place that I see an improvement though. I noticed it again after the holidays when my body felt like crap because of my food choices. Somewhere along the line I found that I prefer whole foods over boxed junk and while I can still annihilate a bag of chips on occasion, I feel so much better when I eat the good foods. I just listened to my body to see what certain foods did 'to me' (stomach pains, bloating) or 'for me' (energy, clearer skin).

Consider all the changes as an investment in your future, you decide the return. What are you worth to yourself?

Set goals, small achievable goals, set rewards, a book or other item that you consider a treat.

If doing it for yourself is hard, maybe pick a charity event that you can train for, perhaps with a friend, and raise some funds. Here, a breast cancer charity has events around the country where women dress in pink and walk or run 5 or 10 kms. Would an aim like that help?

In the meantime, add extra walking to your day by, parking further from the front door of the store or office, walk up a flight of stairs rather than take the lift.

This is what I do - I found walking buddies during the pandemic and have kept it up. I need that mental break, and it feels like socializing and fun vs work and exercise! My friend and I walk for about an hour and it feels like 15 minutes. When I walk by myself or do an class or something, it feels like the full hour and then some!

Everyone has different motivators. I despised exercising for years. I came from an era where my mom would tell me I needed a girdle at the age of 17 (I was maybe 15 pounds overweight). It really messed me up. I would go on 600 calorie diets to lose weight. I just didn't like investing the time. So I would starve myself to stay thin. Not sure what changed, but I started working out 6 years ago. I really felt good about myself. I have had my ups and downs with going regularly. It is more of a struggle nowadays for some reason. But...I found ways to enjoy it more. When I got tired of walking and listening to music, I upped it to listening to audiobooks. Wanting to get out and walk to listen further into the book was motivating. Today I was at the gym. I am 60. I enjoy working out with weights because I know how important it is as I get older. And I feel good about myself. I pray you find an answer. It is all about feeling better and living longer. I have a 21 year old who is really overweight and I can't say anything to her. I don't want the stigma over her like it was on me. She chooses not to exercise and eats horribly and is about 70 pounds over what she should be. I can't see it changing and I believe hers is related to genetics (she is adopted) and her not healthy habits.

Just popping on to say I completely understand, OP. I am in terrible shape and although I have found times in my life where I have pursued exercise long enough for it to provide endorphins that carry me, now is not one of those times. I have never done yoga before, but I have to do something, so I've signed up for a plus-size yoga class for seniors even though I don't really qualify as a senior. My first session is tomorrow, so I'm hoping for any positive outcome, even if it's just fewer creaking joints and increased flexibility over time. Hope you can find some small step that will help you move closer to your goals. I'll be cheering you on from afar!

Good advice about the music or podcast or audiobook... But, I have to laugh about your comment that I bolded. I have walked on and off (mostly "on") since the pandemic. And I have yet to enjoy myself. Maybe in certain kind of weather -- a crisp almost-cold fall day -- it's not too bad. But never enjoyable. I'm with the OP and I always roll my eyes when people say "find an exercise you enjoy". Nope. lol.

I walk solo or with a friend. I feel better and sleep better with outdoor exercising & friendship. That’s the easy part for me. The food is harder. As of right now I’m trying to add more fruit/veggies so I make a platter and put it out before dinner. Everyone ends up eating off of it while I get dinner on the table. My DH eats what’s left after dinner. Good luck!!!